The Hellish Armor March
No matter how lonely life at the academy might get, at least the written exam had only questions I knew. Of course it did—the exam setter had leaked them to me personally. All that remained now were the practical test and the interview.
“Hah... hah... hah...”
But damn, the practical was brutal. “Fuck!”
The physical test at the Mugwa Academy was ridiculously simple. Strap on full armor, arm yourself with sword, spear, and bow, then circle the training ground once. They'd originally included archery and mounted archery too, but with gunpowder weapons becoming the main focus, those had been dropped from the exam.
Simple didn't mean easy, though—not by a long shot. At first, the armor's weight felt evenly distributed, almost light. That was the trap. The thick fabric trapped your body heat and blocked the breeze, doubling the perceived temperature. Dozens of iron plates lining the inside clinked like chains, steadily draining your stamina. And the weapons strapped to your waist and back? They piled on the agony.
“Agh, fuuuuck......!”
In that state, you had to walk 300 paces—about 360 meters. A distance you'd jog without breaking a sweat. But I trudged it, drenched in sweat, gasping for air.
Thud!
One of the other examinees walking beside me collapsed mid-stride. The proctors, who'd been trailing slowly behind, rushed over and hurriedly stripped off his armor and weapons. I didn't even glance back—just kept moving. They'd drag the sweat-soaked guy back to the start and fail him.
Part of me envied the guy who'd dropped. He could ditch this godforsaken armor, feel the fresh breeze, and chug cool water. Thinking about what quitting would mean ignited a fierce temptation inside me. God, I wanted to hurl this crap off and bail on the exam.
But thoughts of Mom and Eori back home kept my legs pumping.
“Hah......! Hah......! F-fuck......!”
I didn't even have the energy to curse anymore. I just stared at the line marked on the ground and walked. Focused only on the line. The line. Nothing but the line. Line.
“Number 32! Pass!”
“!”
In that instant, the melting world snapped back into crystal clarity.
“Number 32, remove your weapons and armor!”
“D-did I... pass?” I asked without even taking off my helmet, half sure I'd misheard.
“Haha! You did!”
The academy official in front of me nodded with a refreshing grin. “Congratulations! You passed!”
“Y-yes! Thank you!”
“Hoho! No need—it's your effort that shone through!”
I wasn't thankful for passing. I was thankful he'd told me to take off this shitty armor.
“Fuck! Thought I was gonna die!”
I yanked off the helmet squeezing my head first. A cool breeze swept over my sweat-matted hair—the sensation was an indescribable rush of freedom. And this was just the helmet? What about the rest?
“Put your weapons and armor here.”
The official who'd brought the cart barely finished before I tossed my helmet in. I stripped off the weapons crushing my waist and shoulders, the armor that let in no air whatsoever, and flung them onto the cart.
“Whoaaa......!”
A sigh of awe escaped me. As the cool wind brushed my soaked body, chills raced across my skin. Not that I'd ever put the armor back on.
“Rest over there now.”
The official who'd hauled the cart pointed to the corner of the training ground. I turned and spotted examinees gathered by an artificial stream, dumping water over their heads with ladles. It looked so damn refreshing.
“Yes, thank you. Good work.”
I hurried over, itching to join them.
“Water to drink. Here.”
An official by the stream held out a ladle brimming with water. I grabbed it without hesitation and was about to gulp when...
“Put it back—drinking too fast might upset your stomach.”
“Oh, uh, right. Thanks.”
I carefully fished out the floating leaf and drank. Cool. And sweet, like honey water after your first hangover.
“Gulp... gulp... glug!”
My stomach was swelling up, but I kept going.
“Pwah! Now I can live!”
“Cool off in the stream now.”
“Yes, thanks. Good work.”
I handed back the empty ladle and headed to the water's edge, slipping in among the early finishers. I kicked off my socks and straw shoes, rolled my pant legs to my knees, and dipped my feet in.
“Ooooh......!”
It felt like mountain stream water diverted straight from the hills—otherwise, it wouldn't be this ice-cold. Squatting with my feet in, I splashed water on my face. The sticky sweat washing away in the chill was pure bliss.
As I cooled down, I thought about the final test: the interview. Calling it the “last exam” was just semantics. Anyone who failed it had already bombed the written or practical. Showing up for the interview basically meant you'd passed.
Written? Nailed it. Practical? Just did. Everyone chilling here? Most of them would be my classmates come enrollment.
“Hoho, I've heard the rumors about you. So brave and clever, they say.”
“Grateful you see me that way.”
“How about a drink at the gisaeng house tonight?”
Over there, factions were already forming. Fancy headscarves and gold earrings screamed rich kids. Others were exchanging names too, resting up. Everyone except me.
It wasn't like they didn't know me. My identity as Chaekho Dongja Kim Si-jin had spread before the written exam. But they pretended I wasn't there, avoiding even a glance. The occasional looks they shot held no warmth—just scorn and envy.
Couldn't blame them. None here had my fame across the eight provinces of Joseon, or the king's and crown prince's favor. Normally, they'd be wagging their tails to impress me. But with Eori, born of a concubine, as my girl? Their noble pride was too lofty for that.
So I got disdainful stares instead. Whatever. It didn't faze me. I'd lived like this before I made a name. Honestly, it was a relief. At this rate, no one would bother me till graduation. And if some fool picked a fight? I'd invoke the king's order for a face-slapping duel and be done.
Sure, it'd be a bit lonely. But...
“Woooo! Outta the way! Move, move—whoa!”
Splash!
Some lunatic hurled himself into the stream. Barely knee-deep, but he belly-flopped full-body to avoid smacking the bottom.
Whoosh!
Water sprayed everywhere.
“Hehe! Got you all wet!”
“You mad bastard!”
“Hey! What the hell?!”
The nearby coolers—and me, squatting right beside him—got drenched.
“Pfft! Haha! Told ya to watch out!”
The guy, who'd been fully submerged, spat water and surfaced. “Sorry about that! Hahaha!”
For an apology, he looked way too pleased.
“......”
Drenched right next to him, I stared up speechless. Beard-covered face, bulging muscles, Eori's height, booming laugh. He could've been her dad.
“Y-you little shit...! J-Jeong... Hyeon-beom...! Wh-what the fuck... are you... doing?!”
A scolding voice rang out. “Hah, hah... that's why...! P-people look down... on us bastards...!”
A sweat-soaked guy staggered up, fresh off the practical by the look of him. That scholarly face suited those glasses perfectly. I'd seen him before—the one who'd tested right with me.
What? He'd just finished? Even without a time limit?
“Hah, hah... ugh, I'm dying......!”
The weakling plopped down right there.
“Aigoo! Big bro!”
The guy called Jeong Hyeon-beom leaped out of the water, dripping everywhere as he rushed over. “Bro! You okay? I told ya to take it easy!”
“Sh-shut up, you punk...! St-stay back...! You'll splash... water...!”
“Hahaha! You're already soaked!”
“G-get away...! You'll splash...! Ugh, I'm dying......!”
“Don't worry! Little bro's got you!”
Jeong Hyeon-beom crouched and effortlessly scooped up the guy he called “bro.”
“Whoa! You punk! Put me down! I said put me down!”
The “bro” thrashed like he'd never been winded.
“Hahaha! Strong now, huh? Time for a cool-down!”
“Hey! You maniac! I said no!”
Watching the frail bro and burly little bro, I thought: No matter how lonely academy life got, I absolutely could not befriend those two.