Unofficial Merch and Exam Day Chaos
Rumors about Kim Si-jin causing a ruckus at the brothel spread like wildfire in just one day. Stuff like how I'd taken down the guards all by myself. Or that most of them had broken limbs. Or that I wandered around hiding knives all over my body. Or that I'd sliced off some young master's precious parts. Or that I'd eaten food with my bare hands. The bullshit was mixed in so seamlessly with the truth that it was a real headache.
Still, it wasn't all bad. Worried that wandering outside might spark even weirder rumors, I holed up in my room and just studied. Mornings were for teaching millstone exercises, squeezing in meals between study sessions, putting up with Hee-un's whining—it all blurred together until entrance exam day arrived.
“……!”
“You okay?”
“Don't talk to me……! All my studying's leaking out……!”
“Isn't that just last night's dinner coming up?”
“Shut up, ugh! Aren't you the reason I'm forgetting everything! If I fail again, it's your fault!”
Why's it my fault? It was your fault for chugging booze right up to the day before.
Hee-un's complexion was a mess in every way. Booze stench rolling off him wasn't enough—dark circles sagging to his jaw, Confucian classics fluttering nonstop in his hands. Anyone could see he'd collapse mid-exam.
He wasn't the only one. About a third of the exam hopefuls gathered at the academy grounds looked just like him.
“Hah, but.”
Hee-un, peeking at his book right before entering the exam hall, asked, “Y-you... aren't you nervous at all?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?”
“Hah, ha! You look plenty nervous!”
“Dead serious.”
I was playing it cool, but my hands were slick with sweat. The Crown Prince had shown me this year's problems, so my odds were better than most. But that didn't mean I could relax completely. What if I'd misremembered? I'd drilled the source books and kept up the millstone training for the physical test.
But nerves were nerves.
“Mugwa examinees, over here!”
A voice called out from beyond the crowd, summoning Mugwa candidates. Seeing the burly guys head that way, I told Hee-un, “Young master! I'll head out first! Good luck!”
“Y-you're going? W-wait just a bit longer!”
“Can't! I'll fail!”
“Aaaagh! Don't say you'll fail! Say you'll stick to the ground!”
“Yeah, sure, got it! See you later! Good luck!”
I finally shook off Hee-un and made for the Mugwa group. Past a side door stood a building with a “Training Hall” plaque and an open yard in front. Other Mugwa hopefuls clustered in small groups—doing push-ups to warm up, chatting, or cramming last-minute from books.
I stood alone in a corner, steadying my breath. “Haaa... fuuuu......!”
I had to pass this exam. Failing when I knew the questions? The Crown Prince would never let me live it down. But that wasn't the real issue. The big war was just over ten years away. I had to climb the ranks by then, become a commander who could lead it. That was my plan to minimize the casualties.
“Ahem! Ahem! You there.”
As I gathered my resolve, someone approached. Looked over thirty, glancing around nervously. “First time this year, right?”
“The exam? Yeah, first time.”
“Knew it! Newbies always stand out!”
“Really?”
I thought I was playing it cool, but apparently not.
“Haha, it's obvious.”
Grinning good-naturedly, he kept chatting. While others warmed up or studied, this guy seemed chill. Or maybe he'd already given up.
“Heard that story?”
As I mumbled replies to calm my nerves, a familiar name popped up.
“About Idle Captain Kim Si-jin.”
“K-Kim Si-jin?”
“You've heard, then. The guy who smashed the brothel guards solo and cut off some young master's balls.”
“Ah, yeah... heard of him.”
“Heh heh. Makes this easier.”
Lowering his voice like it was a secret, he glanced around. Then he carefully reached into his bosom and pulled something out. “Know what this is?”
“?!”
What he gingerly revealed was a ragged cloth scrap, yellowed stains vivid. Thought it was a latrine rag at first, but the shape made me gasp.
“Wh-what's that?”
“What else?”
He paused dramatically. “Kim Si-jin's sogowi.”
My underpants? That? Hadn't been washed in a month? And I laundered mine daily!
“You have no idea the hassle to get this. That Kim Si-jin jacked the price sky-high. You wouldn't know.”
“Y-yeah, probably.”
Because I'm Kim Si-jin!
“Wear this for the exam, and first place is yours. Guaranteed.”
Looked like he'd been scammed. His blissful smile was pitiful.
“But, ugh......”
I was about to reveal I was the real deal with my ID tag when he thrust the reeking sogowi—stinking worse than fish—at me.
“Here! Take it!”
“What?! No way!”
“You remind me of my little brother back home. Cried so hard not to let me go. Heh heh.”
He gazed wistfully into the distance, sighing as he offered it again. “You wear it! Better on a young buck like you than this old fart!”
“No! I won't!”
“Hey! When an elder gives, you say thanks and take it!”
He grabbed my hand to force it on me. I shook him off and backed away.
“Haha! Worried about the price?”
Seeing my horror, he laughed reassuringly. “No sweat! Just 100 yang!”
“I said no—100 yang?!”
“Paid 200 for it myself! Half off special for you!”
Thought he was a victim—turns out he was the scammer.
“Rare chance! Heaven-sent luck—don't miss it!”
“......Did you really buy that for 200 yang?”
“Absolutely! Got it straight from Kim Si-jin—I guarantee the quality!”
Wasn't like he wanted used undies for fun. Where there's smoke, there's fire. Buyers create sellers.
So... how much for my actual worn ones? Could I sell now?
“Ahem! Those called, enter the exam hall!”
Too late. An academy official announced entry. Names called, hands raised, IDs and tickets checked at the door.
“Hey! Last chance!”
They went in order, so time remained. Not to sell mine—but to buy his and swap?
“100 too steep? Fine! 80! No, 70! 60! Can't go lower!”
The scammer hustled to offload it before time ran out. Down from “200” to less than a third.
“Quiet down! Can't hear my name! And stop shoving that in my face!”
I shoved back the filthy cloth nearing my nose, ears straining for my name. Overheard the waiting guys chatting.
“200 yang! How dare they price the Tiger Boy's sawdust amulet like that!”
“Heh! If you fail, your mom'll grieve. That's filial?”
“It's the pillow Kim Si-jin slept on, idiot! See? These hairs are his!”
Thought it was Mugwa waiting area. Nope—my unofficial merch market.
“Pyongan Kim Ga's Kim Si-jin!”
My name echoed across the yard. Silence fell.
Scammers hawking my fake goods, fellow examinees waiting, even supervising officials—all scanned the crowd for me.
“Uh, m-me.”
Hesitated, then raised my hand. Eyes locked on. The panty-pusher gaped.
“I-I'm Kim Si-jin.”
Spotlight burned my face. Head down, I shuffled to the door. Yard dead quiet behind me.
“Sh-show your ID and ticket.”
“Here.”
The guard inspected mine extra long, nodded to his colleague. “Pyongan Kim Ga's Kim Si-jin. Confirmed.”
“Th-then let him in. Why tell me?”
His superior couldn't peel eyes off me. “G-go in.”
“Y-yes.”
Got my papers back, turned to enter—then paused, looked back. Everyone still staring, breathless.
I yelled at them—especially the fake merch peddlers—“Everyone! That's all lies! I never sold any of that crap!”
“What?!”
“You said it was real!”
“B-but I meant Kimhae Kim Ga's Kim Si-jin......?”
The yard erupted into chaos. Plaintiffs and defendants flipping instantly. Tension melted; I entered the hall feeling fresh.
Back then, I had no idea. That among it all... the pillow was real.