Pretty Words from a Foolish Bastard
He speaks so damn prettily. What an absurd bastard. Baek Do-yun. This guy could be seen as the Kim Hui-un from the neighboring county. His father was the top landowner there, he was the legitimate firstborn son from the principal wife, and he was aiming for the civil service exam. If I had to pick a difference, we were the same age, and he'd been called a prodigy since childhood. In other words, Baek Do-yun was Kim Hui-un's lucky version.
"Ahaha! Big brother! You were screaming for your life over just a snake? Big brother! You didn't piss your pants, did you?"
"Wh-what insolence is that!"
"It's a joke! A joke! Can't you and I even joke like this?"
Whatever. I was plenty satisfied just watching Hui-un squirm under this Do-yun guy. Good thing there was no pointless rest stop.
"Big brother. But how were you reading a book while riding?"
"Th-the exam's right around the corner. Gotta cram as much as I can."
"How can you treat the words of the sages as mere tools for fame and success? I'm truly disappointed."
After joining up, the two rode side by side at the front. I naturally fell to the rear and chatted with Do-yun's servant, Song Bok.
"Master. What does the King look like?"
"Eh, he's handsome, yeah. But if I tell you, he'll get all arrogant and full of himself. If you ever meet him, don't mention it."
"Haha! As if I'd ever meet the King. At best, it'll be Jeonju."
"What's the difference? The King's from the Jeonju Yi clan. You think some grand prince lives there? Nah?"
I'm from the Pyeongan Kim clan here, but living in Honam makes it seem unlikely.
"But..."
Do-yun, who'd been talking with Hui-un, glanced back at me over his shoulder. His profile twisted into a subtly chilling smile as he asked,
"Kim Si-jin. I have something to ask you."
"Yes. I'm listening. Go ahead."
"I've heard you're an eolja. Is that true?"
"Yeah. Eolja it is."
"..."
He'd said he had a lot to ask, but then went quiet. Finally, he slowed his horse to approach and apologized.
"Haha, sorry. Did I offend you?"
"What? Calling me eolja? Nah, not really."
"Your mother's a lowly concubine, though?"
"Even if I deny it, nothing changes, right? Gotta do my best from where I stand."
"Ahaha! What a great man you are!"
"How'd you know? Did you peek when I dropped my pants?"
"Puhaha!"
Eh? Wait, no? He already knew and was just confirming?
"If I'd known you were this fun, I would've met you sooner."
Do-yun laughed so hard his horse flinched, then spoke like he was the elder—despite us being the same age.
Honestly, I didn't like this Baek Do-yun guy. He called Hui-un "big brother" but threw boundary-crossing jokes, brought up my background out of nowhere, and worst, his face reminded me of someone in Hanyang. King Sejong's second son, King Munjong's younger brother. Grand Prince Suyang.
Not that I thought a country landlord's son would stage a coup. It was just that chilling vibe, like Suyang. Especially the way he grinned like a nice guy while poking at nerves.
"I've heard all about your exploits. Taking down bandits, killing a great tiger with two arrows, quelling a rebellion. All true?"
"Yep."
"And you got the eosa-geum for it. Is that the one at your waist?"
"Ah, yeah."
"Mind showing it?"
"No."
"..."
He had the slyness down, but Suyang had the shamelessness beat. Do-yun's eyebrow twitched at my flat refusal.
"Ah, haha! Don't be like that. I just want to feel your valor and feats firsthand. Please. Hanryang Gapsa Kim Si-jin."
Any normal guy would've shown it just to shut him up. But I wasn't normal.
"Still no."
To emphasize, I gripped the sword at my waist.
"Why not? I'm hurt."
Hurt my ass. We'd known each other less than 30 minutes.
I drew the eosa-geum from its scabbard at my waist and held it up, sheath and all.
"Haha, thanks. Whoa."
I yanked it away from his reaching hand. Just showing it, I told him,
"This sword was bestowed upon me by His Majesty for my service. It's my pride and my loyalty to the throne. I can't let just anyone handle it."
"H-heh. You're quite the officer."
"You're too kind."
Bullshit. The eosa-geum was my pride and my awe for King Sejong, sure—but mostly, I just didn't want this bastard touching it.
"Hmmm..."
Baek Do-yun stopped asking and let out a quiet huff. But his gaze on my sword irked me.
"I heard you got a bow and matchlock too."
"The bow's the one on my saddle now. The matchlock's illegal outside the county, so I left it home."
"If I asked for the bow?"
"Nope. No can do."
"Heh, too bad."
He didn't look too bad about it. His eyes lingered greedily on my gear, lips even curling up.
"Big brother!"
He spurred his horse forward to Hui-un's side and asked,
"Big brother. I want to see that guy's sword and bow. Can't you order him to show them?"
I figured Hui-un would nod right away. Wrong.
"Th-that'd be tricky. It's the eosa-geum. Touch it wrong, and it's not just a hand—your head could fly."
"But that punk obeys your every word. Big brother. For your little brother's sake. Just once."
"S-sigh, no. Can't do it."
Hui-un squirmed but refused the overreach.
"..."
Rejected twice, Baek Do-yun stared at Hui-un. Then side-eyed me and spoke.
"Big brother! That's why you're so narrow-minded—you've failed the civil exam three times!"
"!"
Even from behind, I saw Hui-un's shoulders flinch. Up close? No way he missed it. But this bastard kept digging at sore spots. Hui-un's shoulders slumped, head drooping lower with each word.
"What about that Kang girl from the marriage talk last time? While you're dithering, she probably married someone else!"
This prick got dumped by a girl? When? I didn't hear about that. Why didn't word spread? My mill rumor went village-wide.
"Even in our village now, big brother's the talk. Big bro passed first try, that eolja gets the King's favor. But the second son? Totally useless."
Not wrong. With the eldest succeeding and the eolja thriving, this guy's the only one stuck.
"He speaks so damn prettily. What an absurd bastard."
I didn't want anyone but me ragging on him.
"Huh?"
"Wh-what...!"
If they weren't on horses, they'd have frozen. Hui-un lifted his drooping head to look back, and Baek Do-yun's lips twitched like he'd misheard.
"What'd you say? Just now?"
"Said you speak damn prettily. Why? Got a problem?"
Mouth already open, no point closing it.
"This bastard. Look at him calling you 'big brother' while stabbing you in the back. You stick knives in your dad's back the same way, you rude prick?"
Was this hate turning to affection?
"You wanted to see my sword? Come here. I'll show you."
I dropped the reins and strode forward. Between Hui-un and Baek Do-yun, I drew the eosa-geum.
"Ah! S-s-sorry! I-I apologize."
"Master...!"
"D-don't. Hold it in."
Baek Do-yun blanched, of course—the coachman holding the horse and Song Bok trailing behind too. Good enough. I turned to Hui-un, baffled by it all.
"Young master. What now?"
"Wh-what?"
"Young master. Just give the order!"
"No, I...!"
Get a clue, you clueless idiot! I elbowed Hui-un's thigh.
"Uh, uh! Yeah! Right!"
Finally catching on, he put on a stern face and bellowed.
"Hey! You punk! Kim Si-jin! Sheathe that sword now!"
"B-but he insulted you, young master!"
"Quiet! Sheathe it, or I'll punish you severely!"
"Yes, young master."
Punish? What the hell. Grumbling inwardly, I sheathed it obediently. Hui-un smiled indulgently at Baek Do-yun.
"Sorry. He's just overzealous. You okay?"
"N-no, big brother...! Th-thanks to you, I'm f-fine...!"
"Good. Go on ahead? I'll discipline him and catch up."
"Y-yes, big brother...! I'll g-go...!"
Baek Do-yun nodded once and spurred ahead of Hui-un. Drip, drop, splatter—water trailed behind, soaking the ground. Like a leaking truck.
He pissed himself? Nah, no way. Not like he got stabbed. He's not a kid.
"S-Si-jin."
Once Baek Do-yun's group was out of sight, Hui-un spoke.
"Th-tha-thank...!"
"Yeah. Better late than never, right? Bitter comes before sweet. Use those words as fertilizer and sweeten up. I'm off."
I didn't want thanks from this punk, so I changed the subject. Grabbed my horse's reins again and nodded toward Baek Do-yun's direction.
"When a kid acts up like that, smack him. Don't just stand there like an idiot."
"I-I was gonna tell him off too!"
"Like 'stop being a damn show-off' or some shit?"
"Y-you dare mock a yangban!"
"Yeah! I know you're a yangban young master, so get going already! You'll miss the exam at this rate."
I walked ahead without looking at Hui-un.
"Where you going, punk!"
Hui-un followed, and we headed to Jeonju together.