Why? Craving More of a Schmuck Like Me?
"Why? Craving more of a schmuck like me?"
There were just over twenty kids in the village prepping for the academy entrance exam. I figured even tagging along with that Hui-un punk would be better with other applicants around. But if we were traveling with a group, Kim Jin-sa wouldn't have bothered summoning me specifically to come along.
"Ahem! Time for a quick break now."
"How long have we even been walking?"
"Did I say we were lounging around? Just a short one. I, uh, can't read with this dizziness."
"That's why I told you not to read on horseback."
A guy who couldn't study to save his life trying to read while walking? Spot on. Hui-un, with his three straight fails, was exactly like that.
"Hey! You little—!"
"If you're resting, little master can rest alone! I'm outta here!"
"Where do you think you're going? Forgotten Father's orders already?"
"I'm a dumb idiot, so yeah, I forgot it all!"
"Raising your voice before your master?"
Technically, I outranked this punk. Even an idle Gapsa with no pay or command was still an official. But I couldn't just ditch him here, so with the patience of a monk, I nodded.
"Haa... Fine. Got it. Short break it is."
"About time."
I was sick of the bullshit from behind. We pulled the horses to the roadside for a rest. Conveniently, there was a nice rock right there, so I went to sit.
Hui-un, dismounting, spotted me and yelled.
"Hey! You!"
"What now?"
"That prime seat belongs to your master!"
Fuck, really. What a diva.
"Yes, sir. I warmed it up nice and toasty for you. Have a seat."
"Ahem! Ahem!"
I wanted to crush his windpipe. One damn thank you wouldn't kill him, but he plopped down without a word, and my irritation boiled over. Then it hit me—this was a deserted mountain path. Just me and him, my sword at my waist, and Joseon wild beasts popping up now and then...
...Haa, forget it. I gripped the hilt but couldn't draw. Not that I desperately wanted to kill the punk or anything. Chopping him with the Eosa-geum King Sejong bestowed? Way too dignified. A brick, maybe. Half-joking, I scanned for a good rock on the ground. While at it, I rummaged in the pouch at my waist and pulled out the bundle Geum-ok had given me earlier. The warmth had faded, but inside was a mouthwatering mugwort rice cake.
"Haup."
Chewy texture and fresh mugwort aroma filled my mouth. Didn't know Geum-ok was this good at them. Gotta ask her to make more after the exam.
"Ahem! Ahem!"
Should tell this punk to grow some shame too.
"You eat while I starve?"
"That damn mouth of yours..."
"What'd you just say?"
"Nothing. Here, have some."
It pained me—Geum-ok had kneaded this diligently for me. But if I didn't share, he'd bitch endlessly, so I handed it over.
"Hm. Decent enough to eat."
Wish I could rip that yap shut. Nah, if I had a wish, it'd be rewinding to before I told Kim Jin-sa "got it."
"...Huh?"
While hunting for my own seat, I spotted something slithering in the grass. On a hunch, I asked Hui-un.
"Little master."
"What? No more rice cake, don't talk to me."
"That was the last one. But, sir... you like snakes?"
"What?"
He eyed me like I was lower than dirt, frowning as he scanned me top to bottom.
"Lost your mind?"
"Just stay still."
I pulled my bow and arrow from the dongae quiver at my waist, slipping on the thumb ring for drawing.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
Hui-un panicked at the sight of me nocking the arrow.
No time to answer—I kept eyes on the ground, drawing the string taut.
"Don't move."
"Y-you! How dare you try to harm a yangban!"
"Hey! Stay still! You'll get shot!"
I loosed at the ground. The arrow flew a short distance and pierced the viper's head right by Hui-un's foot.
Thwack!
"Aaaah! S-save me! My foot! My foot!"
For the record, my arrow pierced the viper's head.
"Aaaah! Y-you murderer!"
The punk thought I'd shot his foot and tumbled off the rock, clutching his perfectly fine one and rolling in the grass.
"Help! Murder!"
"That's why I saved you."
"Y-you bastard! Kim Si-jin! Knew you'd do this someday! Ugh! M-my foot!"
"What's wrong with your foot?"
"Can't you see the arrow in it?!"
"What arrow? This one?"
I held up the snake-skewered arrow for him.
"Wh-wh-what? Huh? It's... fine?"
Finally noticing his foot was unscathed, his face flushed beet red as he slinked up from the ground. Couldn't even meet my eyes—knew shame, at least, even if not gratitude.
"Ahem! Well done! I, uh, lured it out for you to catch easy! And you nailed it!"
"Yeah, sure. Ready to go?"
"Hey! Don't wave that ugly thing around!"
"They say it's great for men."
"..."
He sneaked peeks even as I offered it again.
"Y-you know how to... prep it?"
"Prep? Nah, gotta chew from head to tail for the full effect. Even ginseng's like that—didn't you know?"
"I-I know that! Gimme!"
Really gonna eat it? Guess men eye anything pitched as an aphrodisiac. I dropped the snake far from his reaching hand, smirking to tease.
"Got blue balls or something?"
"Wh-what?"
"Not even twenty and already desperate..."
"Wh-who said I was eating it? For Father!"
"Why? Craving more of a schmuck like me?"
I spun the snake-skewered arrow like a fire poi, playing crazy. Hui-un paled.
"Another you?"
"Joseon's blessing, that'd be."
"Joseon's curse...!"
He shuddered like he'd seen a ghost. I chuckled inwardly, dropping the snake and pinning the body to yank the arrow free, then stowed it in the quiver. Bow too.
"Rested enough? Let's roll."
"Th-the snake?"
"Female. Males are the good ones—females..."
I shook my head, lest he scavenge it.
"Moving out. Check you didn't drop anything."
"Y-yeah. Got it."
Not much to grab after our short stay—just the book he'd dropped in the panic.
"Let's head out."
"Ugh, no reading on horseback, seriously."
"Hey! Who are you to critique a yangban?"
"'Cause you'll puke, obviously."
Motion sick every time, yet he flipped open the book again. Helped him how many times, zero thanks—brain's not wired right.
"Fine, whatever. Let's go."
Three hours in, felt like three days of exhaustion. But hurry up, shake this punk sooner. I pushed on, only to run into strangers at a fork soon after.
"Oh! Big bro! Knew it was your voice!"
"B-Baek Do-yun?"
Strangers to me, anyway.
"Heard a familiar voice nearby, had to check—yep, big bro! Haha!"
A guy my age laughed heartily from horseback. Two horses, two servants—well-off young master type.
"Uh, y-yeah. G-good to see you."
Hui-un blanched by contrast.
"Wh-what brings you here?"
"What else? Turning sixteen this year—yangban son heading to the academy exam. You too, bro?"
"Uh, y-yeah."
"Haha! Great! Travel to Jeonju together? Chat, swap exam tips."
"I, uh, not really..."
"C'mon, don't refuse! Let's go!"
"Uh, o-okay."
What the hell? Why's Hui-un frozen? Perfect—extra company. I'll hang back, invisible.
"R-right! Do-yun! Baek Do-yun! Know who this is?!"
Oh, shit.
"This is the Chaekho Dongja, Kim Si-jin! Haha! Was headed to the Mugwa exam, but followed to serve me!"
When?!
He introduced me like a proud pet.
"This guy's your servant?"
Baek Do-yun's gaze shifted my way. No choice—I bowed slightly.
"Pleased to meet you. Idle Gapsa Kim Si-jin."
"Ho. So you're that Kim Si-jin."
"Yes, sir."
"Right. You. Got a question."
I knew why quick enough.
"Does it really turn a mill into a watermill if you do what you said?"
How far has that rumor spread?!