Pizza Lures and Shadowy Strangers
"Want to come grab some pizza with us?"
The Joseon-era cotton candy wasn't much different from the modern stuff—except for those yellowish ones that looked like they'd been dusted with yellow sand. It melted away smoothly in your mouth the moment you took a bite, and you could tear off little pieces to eat by hand.
"Here, Eori. Ahh~"
"Ahh, nom! Heeheeheehee!"
"How is it? Tasty?"
"Heehee. It's so delicious, my lord."
"Good. But why the hell do you look like that?"
I wasn't talking to Eori, obviously. I was asking Takji, whose face was twisting up even as he munched on the cotton candy I'd just bought him.
"N-no, it's nothing. Please, just keep doing what you were doing with the miss."
If you don't wanna see it, don't look. Why stare and make that face?
"Here, Eori. One more bite."
"Heehee. Ahh, nom!"
We were in Pi-mat-gol, Hanyang's street food alley equivalent, and cotton candy sure as hell wasn't gonna cut it. We wandered around devouring castella cakes, tanghulu, and rice cakes. All that sweetness had us craving something salty next.
"This way! There's a pizza spot over here!"
Not pizza pizza, but pija (皮炙). "Pija" meant something grilled over leather fire—basically food that looked like grilled leather hide. Obviously referring to dough topped with cheese and baked.
"For real? This is the place?"
"Yes! Hurry up and come on in!"
Takji, who'd scored free bites of food he'd never even dreamed of tasting before, was hyped and led the way. He guided us into a deserted alley, insisting they sold pizza there.
"......"
But what came out wasn't a pizza joint. It was some sketchy black-clad dude.
Not dark-skinned like Eori—just a guy decked out head to toe in pitch-black clothes. No matter how you sliced it, he looked suspicious as hell.
"Hey, Takji."
I shifted my gaze from the guy—who looked barely past twenty—to Takji, the one who'd brought us here. Half-joking, I asked,
"You didn't betray us, did you?"
"W-what?! N-no! How could I?!"
"Then who's this guy?"
"I don't know! First time seeing him today!"
Takji looked genuinely wronged as he denied it. I hadn't really suspected him anyway. Just hitting the cliché for kicks.
"My lord. What should we do?"
Eori hid behind me, anxiously resting a hand on my shoulder. Her hand was trembling faintly over my shoulder.
"Dunno."
To keep Eori from freaking out more, I played it casual on purpose. Then I asked the guy, who was just standing there silently even after spotting us.
"Hey. You got business with us? Or do you know us?"
"Chaekho Boy, Kim Si-jin."
"Oh, you know me. Hey there."
He knew my name, so I bowed politely in greeting. As I straightened up, he bluntly stated his business with a stone face.
"Someone wants to see you. Come with me."
"Right now?"
"Yes."
"Nah, pass."
"What?"
He'd been staring blankly until now, but my words made him scowl for the first time. Like he'd misheard, he asked again.
"What did you just say?"
"Said I don't wanna go."
"Why?"
"Didn't your mom teach you not to follow strangers when you were a kid?"
"No."
"Oh, really? Well, you shouldn't follow strangers. Got it?"
"I already know that. I'm not some uncle. Call me hyungnim."
Midday—not even nighttime—and the all-black getup, agreeing with me, telling me to call him hyungnim. Everything about him screamed awkwardly amateurish.
"Sure, hyungnim. How old are you, anyway?"
"Twenty-one. That's not important right now."
Not important, but you answered anyway.
"Someone wants to see you. Come on."
"Told you, no thanks. Mom said don't follow strangers."
"The person you're meeting isn't a stranger."
"Then just tell me who I'm going to see."
"Can't say that casually."
Why the hell should I go then?
"Sorry, can't come."
"Someone wants to meet you."
"So who is it?!"
"Told you, can't say. You'll find out when you go."
"No, ughhh...!"
It felt like a broken record, looping the same crap. Frustration clogged my throat; all I could do was sigh. I took a deep breath to calm down and asked,
"Look, mister."
"Hyungnim."
"Right, hyungnim. Would you go if it was you? We're on our way to pizza, and some shady guy pops up wanting you to follow. You going?"
"......I'd go."
"Dude! Why?! Hyungnim! You can't just follow random people! You'll get in deep shit!"
I was trying to teach him empathy, but now I was worrying about this guy. I pondered for a sec, then asked,
"Hey, hyungnim."
"What."
"You eaten lunch? If you're still hungry, wanna come grab pizza with us?"
"?!"
The guy gawked at my offer like it was the last thing on earth he'd expected.
"My lord?!"
"My lord?!"
Eori and Takji's reactions weren't far off. Their faces crumpling, they shook me from both sides, whining.
"My lord! What are you doing?! I don't wanna eat pizza with him!"
"Did you pick up something weird? Why are you doing this?!"
"Chill, just asking. Hey, hyungnim. Wanna join? I'll talk these kids down."
Eori and Takji shot pleading looks at the guy. He frowned in confusion, then reverted to his blank face and replied.
"No."
"Why not? You don't have to pay. My treat. We'll even pass around a bottle of ramu wine. Still no?"
"No."
"C'mon, just come along. Since we bumped into you."
"No."
"For real? Hyungnim, seriously not coming? I'm begging here."
"No."
"Fine. We'll go without you then. Follow if you change your mind. We won't mind."
"No."
"Got it. We're off to pizza then."
"No—fine. Go."
"Yeah. Take care. Hey, let's go. He says no pizza. Just us. See ya later."
I bowed to him once more, then led Eori and Takji back the way we'd come. They followed with baffled looks but no complaints.
"M-my lord......!"
"H-how......!"
"It's fine. Act normal. We're just going for pizza."
I stepped off, thinking he was like some extortion thug punk. But right around the corner, we hit the same crap again.
"Chaekho Boy, Lord Kim Si-jin?"
Two chilling dudes approached—different vibe from that hyungnim guy. They smiled like nice guys and spouted the same line.
"Care to come with us a bit? Someone wants to see you."
What is this? Exit 8 from some drama? Turn back for the next stage?
"My lord?"
"My lord?"
Eori and Takji turned to me too, sensing the déjà vu. They looked like baby birds; I almost cracked up but shook my head firmly to refuse.
"Sorry. Mom said don't follow strangers."
"It's fine. We're not weirdos. Heh heh heh."
Your laugh alone screams weirdo!
"C'mon, Chaekho Boy. Just come along. It's nothing bad for you."
"Can you at least tell me who's summoning me?"
"Aw, c'mon. Can't just blurt that out......"
They'd been waiting for that question, pretending to hesitate. After the pause, they dropped a familiar name.
"Grand Prince Suyang himself has a deep interest in you, my lord."
"Ah, yeah?"
"What'll it be? Coming?"
"Nope."
"Pardon?"
Am I nuts? Follow Suyang Daegun? I'd already decided deep down to stick with Munjong (for real). Why the fuck would I tail Suyang? Did I take a sword to the head or a bullet?
"C'mon, just come."
"No. Don't wanna. Stop."
"Chaekho Boy?"
"Said no. I gotta hit the church."
"Don't be like that. We won't leave you empty-handed."
"Told you, not going."
"Chaekho Boy, Kim Si-jin."
"Yeah? Shit, you scared me."
The blank-faced guy had snuck up behind us. I jumped, then pointed at the dudes ahead and asked,
"Hyungnim. You serving the same boss as these guys?"
"Don't know who they serve."
"They say Grand Prince Suyang."
"......"
The blank-faced guy didn't reply. He brushed past us to face them, turning his back shamelessly.
"Forcing someone who doesn't want to go is grave rudeness. Send a proper letter later."
Pot calling the kettle black much?
"May we have your name, sir?"
The hesitant guys asked cautiously. Then a familiar name popped from the blank-faced dude.
"I'm Mid-Rank Gapsa I Cheol-dong. General Yi Jing-ok, the Vice Inspector of Hamgil-do, is my father."
Yi Jing-ok? The Yi Jing-ok who pioneered the Four Garrisons and Six Posts with Kim Jong-seo? Shit. Was he the one sending for me? To chew me out for missing cotton candy over me?
"Sorry. Excuse us."
"See you again, Chaekho Lord."
Hearing his intro, the guys backed off surprisingly easy. I Cheol-dong watched them go, then turned to us.
"Chaekho Boy, Kim Si-jin."
"Uh, yeah."
"Apologies for the rudeness today. I'll send a letter later—please respond. See you."
"Uh, yeah. See you later."
"Yeah."
He realized his own rudeness too, apparently, and dipped with a "see ya." Eori, Takji, and I whispered as he walked off.
"My lord? What's going on?"
"No clue. Takji, this common in Hanyang?"
"First time for me too, my lord."
No idea what the hell was up, so I blinked blankly before moving on.
"Pizza time now?"
"My lord?!"
"In this situation?!"
"Situations over. What's the big deal? C'mon, pizza. I want some."
Eori and Takji fretted but half-forced themselves toward pizza. Our paths overlapped with I Cheol-dong for an awkward stretch of group walk, but no incidents.
"......"
"......"
"......"
"Hey, hyungnim? Really not having pizza?"
"No."