Get Out! Your Sister's Making a Nephew!
"Get out! Your sister and brother-in-law are about to make you a nephew right now!"
The archery contest at the Chunbun Festival had barely ended when the new Hyeon-gam arrived. With his successor in place, the old Hyeon-gam was preparing to head up to Hanyang, and I—having received a royal decree to follow once my duties were done—was doing the same.
I undid the dangling braid that had reached my back and tied it into a topknot, the mark of adulthood. It felt strange, like something was piling up on the crown of my head.
"Mom. How do I look?"
"Yes. You look so sturdy."
Mom, who had helped tie my topknot, nodded with a forced smile. Tears glistened at the corners of her eyes.
"No, Mom. Am I getting married or something?"
"You're going to Hanyang, aren't you? Isn't Hanyang pretty far?"
"It only takes a few days, though?"
"You'll ride a boat on the way. Lucky you. Our son gets to see the sea. And visit Hanyang too."
In this era, people rarely left their hometowns in their lifetimes. But since this was an advanced alternate-history Joseon, that wouldn't be so easy.
"You can go to Hanyang later too, Mom."
"Really?"
"Of course. Someday there'll be iron horses and wagons. You can go from the southern tip of Haenam to Hanyang in less than a day."
"Hee hee hee. Really? As long as it doesn't fly?"
"How'd you know? Eventually, it'll take less than an hour to get to Wa from Joseon. Or was it two?"
"Hee hee hee. What a son."
I tried spoiling the future for her, but she didn't buy it. Fair enough—I wouldn't have either. Who'd believe a purple alien showed soap bubbles to his son-in-law because he liked him?
"Son."
Mom, who had been smiling happily, gazed at me with wistful eyes again.
"Take good care of Eori in Hanyang. They say Hanyang folk will cut off your nose if you close your eyes—be careful."
"The old Hyeon-gam was from Hanyang too."
"Trust only that one among Hanyang people. Got it?"
"The king is from Hanyang too."
"Son."
"Okay, okay. But Mom, is it really okay to take Eori?"
I was surprised she'd permitted it so easily when I'd broached the idea with pounding heart. I asked again, unable to believe it.
"Really take Eori?"
"Yes. Even if I said no, you'd sneak her along anyway."
"No, but taking her to Hanyang. It's dangerous."
"What danger is there with our Tiger-slaying Boy to protect her? Or wait—does Eori just need to watch out for our Tiger-slaying Boy?"
"Mom."
"Hee hee hee."
Her words made it sound like I was pouncing on Eori, and my face burned. My growing body wasn't entirely innocent of such thoughts, but I'd never force anything.
...Not that I'd refuse if she offered.
"Ah, Mom. I'll step out for a bit."
After a few more words, I stood. Mom rose too and asked as we left the room together.
"Where are you off to?"
"To show this to Eori."
"Hee hee. That exciting?"
"You bet. Be right back."
I slipped on straw sandals in the yard, passed through the gate, and waved to Mom, who was waving goodbye. Then I headed to Eori's house.
"Oh! Tiger-slaying Boy! Or should it be Master Chaekho now?"
"The topknot suits you perfectly."
"You finally look like a real man."
Villagers praised my new topknot each time they saw me. Bowing thanks, I arrived at Eori's.
"Eori! Eori?"
A stranger stood in the half-open gate. His skin was a healthy tan, features refined, tall frame and sturdy shoulders exuding subtle masculinity.
"Eh? Huh?"
I panicked at the unknown man in Eori's yard. My heart raced and face heated just like when I saw Eori.
"...!"
Spotting me, he smirked faintly, swung the gate wide, and asked,
"How do I look?"
"Are you Eori?"
"Hee hee hee. Yes. That's me."
Her innocent smile and voice calmed my fluttering heart. Seeing Eori pull off men's clothes as well as skirts, I asked,
"Why are you dressed like that? And what's with the topknot?"
"Hee hee hee. Aren't we heading to Hanyang soon? They said traveling as a woman might cause trouble, so I tried dressing like a man. How do I look?"
"Kinda failed?"
"Really? Earlier a friendly sister asked my name before leaving."
"No, you look pretty even in guy's clothes."
"Hee hee hee hee! Really?!"
She looked like a popular athletic senior guy, but her delighted bouncing was pure Eori.
"Oh. But..."
Deliriously happy, Eori finally noticed my changed hair.
"Hee hee hee. Did you tie a topknot?"
"Ah, yeah. How's it look? Suits me?"
"Hee hee. Yes. It does. Hee hee hee hee."
Just like always. Hands clasped in front, shyly twisting side to side—pure Eori.
"Oh? Tiger-slaying Boy's here? Topknot today?"
Eori's mom emerged from the kitchen and spotted me. Approaching, she eyed my topknot closely.
"It suits you perfectly. Now you really look like an Idle Captain."
"R-Really?"
"Yes. With the dangling braid, you were just a kid, but the topknot screams man. Idle Captain vibes."
It sounded teasing, but her intent was kind, so I smiled awkwardly.
"Yeah. Should've done it sooner."
In Joseon, the topknot symbolized adulthood—not just for marriage, but for officials like me too.
"Ah! Ah!"
Eori, who'd been quietly watching, suddenly bounced in place. Eyes sparkling at her mom, she asked,
"Mom! When's Dad coming home?"
"Hey, girl. You're of marriageable age—say 'Mother,' not 'Mom.' And no casual talk."
"Eeeh, but I don't wanna."
"Tsk! How will you marry the young master and have babies talking like that?"
"?!"
I was just standing there, but the sparks flew my way. Face heating, I waved to stop her.
"Aw, ma'am. It's cute, though."
"Oh, Tiger-slaying Boy. We need to fix her habits. How'll she manage a household like this?"
"She'll learn on the job. Don't be too hard."
"See, Mom! I'll learn as I go!"
Eori, stay quiet.
"She's bigger than her dad, but acts like a newborn."
Eori's mom eyed her disapprovingly yet worriedly. Uneasy, I asked her the same question I'd posed to Mom.
"But ma'am, is it really okay to take Eori to Hanyang?"
"Pardon? Of course! Hanyang or wherever—as long as she doesn't starve."
"No, we're not settling there. Just going and coming back. About two months."
"Oh! Not two months—keep her forever! We'd be grateful!"
"But we haven't even had the wedding yet."
"You'll do it after. You'll get the king's permission anyway. Just call it two months early. And the baby two months early too."
"Mom?!"
Eori protested, face crimson at the baby mention. Her mom widened her eyes in surprise at her blushing daughter.
"What? Already pregnant?"
"Ma'am?!"
Now it was my turn. My head buzzed with tinnitus.
Still, I explained our progress.
"We've only held hands!"
"What?!"
"Why are you shocked?!"
"We thought you'd done everything already..."
"We haven't!"
I want to! But how?! Wait—"Us"?
"Did you just say 'us'?"
"Huh? Yes. Me, your dad, the whole village thinks so. But really just hands?"
"Uh, w-well, other stuff too...!"
"Did you?"
"No! Just, uh, kisses! Only kisses!"
"Good lord, young master! That's already 'nothing' by village talk!"
"Ma'am?!"
"No, not the time!"
Frustrated at our slow pace, she stomped, then seemed to think of something. Yelling toward the room,
"Hey! Eoji! Eosu! You in there?!"
"Brother left earlier—it's just me, Mom."
A paper door slid open; Eoji poked his head out. His mom scolded him.
"You get out too! Your sister and brother-in-law are making a nephew right now!"
"?!"
"Young master. I'm heading to the mountains to forage. No one'll be home till sunset. Till sunset, got it? Till sunset."
*Wink!*
Why the wink and sneaky signal after spelling it out?! Her blatant actions left me dizzy.
Eori, face flushed beet red, called out.
"No! Mom!"
Yes! Tell her off, Eori! Even a mom can't do this!
"I just started my period today!"
Ah. Right. Refreshingly honest.
"What? For real?"
"Ugh! Damn! You ruined it, Mom!"
"Oh dear. What now."
At Eori's period revelation, her mom genuinely stomped in regret. Bowing to me apologetically,
"Sorry, young master. You must've been looking forward to it."
"No, we'll wait till after the wedding."
"That'll be so late..."
Disaster averted, but a man's nature left me a twinge of regret.
"I'll head out then. Just came to show the topknot. Take care."
"Yes, young master. Safe travels."
Forced first-time averted, I hurried from Eori's house. Behind me, Eori argued with her mom.
"Mom! How could you say that in front of him?!"
"How? Give him a chubby-cheeked son to hold!"
Hmm. A son. I prefer a daughter. Seeing kids half-me, half-Eori would wait a bit longer.