No Healthy Adult Asks Kids for Help

Listen up. No sane adult asks a kid for help. It hadn't been long since I'd caught that multi-level marketing scammer, and the weather was getting hotter by the day. Sweat beaded up even when I was just standing still, and the humid air made it hard to breathe—but knowing summer vacation started tomorrow opened up my lungs.

"Master. Isn't the weather awfully hot?"

"Yeah. Sweltering."

"Aaaang, Maaaster."

"Got it. Just kidding. Wanna pick some cherries on the way?"

"Heeheehee! Yes!"

As usual, Eori was waiting for me in front of the seodang, and we walked home together. That's when some scholar approached us.

"Hmm. Kids."

He looked just like my eldest brother, who was serving as an official in Hanyang right now. The gat on his head, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the spotless clothes—everything. If I had to pick a difference, this guy was even more handsome.

"Hello, sir."

"Hello."

He was a face I'd never seen around the county office, but he seemed high-ranking, so we just bowed and tried to pass. But he didn't let us by and stood right in our path.

"Kids. Where are you headed?"

What's it to you? My instincts screamed a warning, just like with that multi-level marketing scammer. This wasn't an ordinary guy.

"Kids. If you're not busy, could you help me out a bit?"

"Yes! Of course!"

"Master?"

Eori nodded eagerly at the stranger's request. She looked at me in confusion, and I grabbed her hand, taking a deep breath.

"Huuuuh...!"

"Master?"

Then I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Help! Somebody help me!!!"

"Kid?!"

"Eori! Run!"

"M-M-Master?"

Seizing the scholar's moment of shock, I grabbed Eori's hand and bolted. She looked baffled but followed me anyway.

"Master? Wh-What's going on?"

"Just follow me! I'll explain later! Help! Somebody help! Fire!"

"Y-Yes! Help!!!"

Eori must have some of that manly spirit in her blood too. The second I said I'd explain later, she nodded with steely eyes and shouted along.

"Huh? What's going on?"

"Isn't that the Tiger-Slaying Boy and Little Darkie?"

"They're screaming for help?"

Adults started gathering, drawn by our cries. They weren't even from Hwacheok Village, but no one here ignored kids begging for help.

"Oh, kids! Come here for a sec!"

"Hey. You there, sir."

The villagers blocked the flustered scholar as he tried to chase us.

"What business do you have with our Tiger-Slaying Boy? What did you do to make him scream for help like that?"

"I-I just wanted to check if that kid was who I thought..."

"Save it for the county office. Come on."

"Didn't you ask if they could help?!"

The adults dragged the scholar toward the county office. Only then did I stop running.

"Hah, hah... M-Master, what...!"

I gave a breathless Eori the short version.

"That guy was trying to kidnap us."

No matter how much more advanced this parallel-world Joseon was than real history, people were still the same. There were unfilial sons killing their dads over gambling debts, kids stealing sewing machines with friends, and even scammers running modern pyramid schemes on the locals. So of course there were kidnappers preying on innocent children.

"But... he did ask for help..."

"Eori. Listen up. No healthy adult asks kids for help."

"!"

She finally got it. Her already round eyes widened further, and her face twisted in anger.

"Master! That scum was trying to drag you off by force?!"

"Uh, me? I don't think so. What about you?"

"No way! It was definitely you, Master! That filthy jerk! I'll kill him! Let a tiger eat him! Ptoo! Ptoo! Ptoo!"

She spat on the ground like she was warding off evil. I was a bit dumbfounded, then a thought hit me.

What if? Another modern reincarnator I don't know? Maybe he suspects me and sent this guy?

"Hey! Tiger-Slaying Boy!"

Two county officers spotted me from the alley the scholar and villagers had gone down. They were sweating in the heat, faces scrunched in distress.

"Tiger-Slaying Boy. We need you to come with us for a bit."

"Huh? Where to?"

"The county office."

"Got a warrant?"

"A what?"

"Sorry. Just messing around. Why?"

"You'll see when you get there. Haaa..."

They seemed seriously troubled. Maybe that scholar—or whatever he was pretending to be—was a big shot everyone knew.

"Alright. Eori, wanna come?"

"Yes! I'll go too! I'll protect you, Master!"

"Good to know I've got backup."

"Heeheehee!"

I ruffled her hair lightly and headed to the county office with her. It was close by, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠so we got there quick. The courtyard was full of people—the same villagers who'd hauled off the would-be kidnapper. They all hung their heads in shame.

"Ahem! Ahem!"

Unlike them, the kidnapper wannabe stood tall on the porch. And right next to the Hyeon-gam, like old pals.

"Ahem! Kim Si-jin! You brat! How dare you insult a yangban? Get on your knees!"

Oh, shit. We're screwed. I didn't know the details, but I could tell it was a total mess. I let go of Eori's hand and signaled her with my eyes. Then I threw myself flat before the scholar on the porch, kowtowing.

"Aigoo! I'm so sorry, sir! The world's so dangerous these days—I thought you were some vicious thug trying to drag me and Eori off!"

"S-Sorry!"

Eori caught my signal and bowed too.

"Hah! Think I'll forgive you just for bowing your heads?"

It's two of us, not one! And when a kid apologizes, you cut 'em some slack! Why's this adult such a petty jerk?

"No! I take full blame! This girl's innocent—she just followed my lead!"

"That's right! I only did what this gentleman told me to—"

"Eori?!"

"We can't lie..."

You said you'd protect me! Protect meee!

"Kuhahat! Hahaha!"

Just as betrayal from Eori stung, laughter rang out. The scholar on the porch was cracking up at us.

"Hahaha! That's enough! I barged in without warning—my fault too. Get up!"

"Y-Yes. Eori."

"Hiiing..."

Got some ammo to tease her with for a while.

Anyway, as we stood, the scholar—without being asked—mentioned my name.

"So, you're Kim Si-jin?"

"Yes, that's me. May I ask your name, sir?"

"Go ahead."

What the hell, this guy. Smells like a boomer.

"What's your name, sir?"

"My ho is Ap-gu, ja is Ja-jun, and name Han Myeong-hoe."

"Goodbye."

"Hey! Where do you think you're going!"

Anywhere but here! Fuck!

Even I, with my limited history knowledge from this parallel world, knew Han Myeong-hoe. He'd been a memorable baddie ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in historical dramas. Han Myeong-hoe: prime mover in the Gyeyu Coup that deposed Danjong alongside Sejo. Enemy of the crown prince who would become King Munjong—Danjong's dad.

"His Highness the Crown Prince sent me to see you!"

Huh? Wasn't he the prince's enemy?

"Come here, Kim Si-jin."

"Y-Yes."

Flustered inside, I approached as Han Myeong-hoe beckoned. He eyed me curiously and asked,

"How did you know I had ulterior motives?"

"Didn't you ask kids for help?"

"What's odd about that?"

"No adult without an agenda asks kids for help."

"Hahat! Spot on! So, do you know what my agenda is?"

"No clue."

"My agenda ties deeply to how you recognized me."

Fuck. Not just screwed—totally fucked. Any ordinary Joseon kid would've shrugged off the name Han Myeong-hoe. Not like me, desperately trying to bail.

"His Highness has a question for you."

Busted? No surprise. I'd saved lives with CPR, foiled a pyramid scheme before it started...

"In the morning it has four legs, at noon two, and at evening three. What is it?"

No regrets. Better than letting a kid die or people get scammed... What?

"Answer. Can you solve this riddle?"

Sphinx? Out of nowhere?

I realized the crown prince wasn't fully convinced I was a modern soul—yet—but he was on the verge. My answer would decide my fate. "Human" would confirm it for him; he might even summon me to Hanyang. "Don't know" might make him dismiss me as quirky and forget.

I'd keep my routine: playing genius at seodang, roaming the village with Eori, enduring class discrimination now and then.

Then I pictured Eori's dark, swarthy face behind me. My mouth moved on its own.

"I don't know."

"Oh? Don't know?"

"Yes. What beast is like that?"

"Hahaha!"

He laughed, satisfied despite my wrong answer. Nodding like he'd gotten what he wanted, he turned to the Hyeon-gam behind him.

"Hyeon-gam."

"Here."

Unlike Han Myeong-hoe's honorific, the magistrate handed over a scroll with both ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hands. Han Myeong-hoe unrolled it dramatically, just like the last guy.

"I am deeply grateful for Your Majesty's boundless grace!"

"Hahaha! Not your first rodeo—you bow crisp! Here!"

"Thank you, sir! I dedicate this honor and grace to Ap-gu and will share His Highness's benevolence with the village!"

Had to butter him up. I offered some of the silk and rice to Han Myeong-hoe, then to the villagers who'd stepped up for me. The rest went to Hwacheok Village folks.

...Oblivious to why, of all officials, the crown prince had sent Han Myeong-hoe specifically.