Bastards Get It Free!
We bastards give it for free!
After Cheong-yeon—no, Kim So-yeon—came and went from the academy, rumors about her spread like wildfire. It wasn't the news of her retiring from the gisaeng house that we'd heard back then. The story was that she'd pitied the ghost of a young bachelor haunting the brothel and soothed him with a single painting, helping him achieve Buddhahood.
Just as a gem with a story behind it fetches a higher price than a rare one without, Cheong-yeon's paintings had become priceless after that. Not only the dilettantes of Jeonju but even people from as far away as Hanyang started clamoring for her work. A month passed, then two, and Artist Cheong-yeon's popularity solidified like the earth after a rain.
Whatever. I had more pressing matters.
"Don't try to mount a galloping horse. Scholarship is something you learn step by step, not by chasing after it at a sprint."
The instructor finished his final lecture before the exam, packed up his teaching materials, and left the classroom.
"……."
"……."
"……."
Normally, the students would have bolted out the door without waiting for anyone else, but not today. Everyone stayed seated, reviewing what they'd studied.
I was among them.
"Ha, heaven is cheon, earth is ji. Yellow as in pressing a sword to the bowstring is hwan."
"Si-jin, bro. You can't even read Thousand Character Classic yet?"
Don't look at me like that! You're the one who looks the most illiterate out of all of us!
Jeong Hyeon-beom's bushy-bearded face twisted in utter bewilderment as he asked. I forced a smile and brushed it off.
"Ah, uh, it's just my study method. Start with the easy stuff to build confidence, then tackle the real meat later."
"Ooooh……!"
So Ji-hu, reading a book to my left, perked up with sparkling eyes.
He wasn't the only one. The students around me, who hadn't shown it before, started mumbling the Thousand Character Classic under their breaths.
So Ji-hu glanced around at them, then whispered to me.
"Byuljang bro, is that the secret to topping the exam?"
"Y-yeah. Sort of……."
Ah, this is driving me nuts. If I'd known it'd be like this, I would've just done averagely on the test.
I was the guy whose name rang across the eight provinces of Joseon for his valor, who had the favor of the late king and the current one, and who'd even clinched top scorer in this academy entrance exam. It was only natural that expectations piled up on me.
But there was one problem.
The reason I'd topped the exam? King Munjong leaking the questions to me.
It was great memorizing them when I saw them. No issues solving them during the test.
But thinking ahead, I had to flub a few on purpose. Otherwise, I'd get that "jack of all trades" label I didn't want.
"Ahem! Ahem!"
Then came a familiar fake cough from behind. Already struggling to focus, and now noise on top of it—I frowned.
I glanced over my shoulder at him.
"Hey, Yong-yong. Quiet down a bit?"
Park Seon-ryung. Son of the now-former Minister of Justice, demoted from third-year to first-year over some face-saving ritual, and a total punk.
"Listen up, everyone."
He ignored me completely, stood from his seat, and walked to the lectern with a stack of mysterious papers in hand.
"Your studying is so pitiful it's downright pathetic. So, out of my benevolence, I'll grace you myself."
Standing at the front like an instructor, he held up the stack.
"Know what this is? Problems from last year, the year before, and the one before that. Study them, and you'll see patterns aplenty. Master this, and you won't fail."
He was holding first-year exam past papers.
The students' eyes lit up—no, flashed—at the revelation.
"Hmph!"
Park Seon-ryung snorted in satisfaction at the eager stares. He raised the papers high over his head, then slowly lowered them, shaking his head in mock pity.
"I was going to share these out of kindness. But because of one lowly cur, I have to withdraw that. Truly regrettable."
No need to think hard to know who that lowly cur was.
"Hyung. Why'd you do that?"
"Wh-what? How dare you say that to me, Byuljang bro!"
The students' gazes snapped to So Ji-hu. Under dozens of eyes, his face turned beet red—practically exploding.
"You! You! You!"
Park Seon-ryung yelled, his own face flushing just as hard.
"How can you be so shameless?!"
Not content with raising his voice, he pointed accusingly. Remembering his dignity for a second, he coughed and got back on track.
"Ahem! Ahem! However! It's not my intent for everyone to suffer due to one lowly wretch. If that one steps forward and confesses his fault, I'll share these with all."
So that's why he'd stayed quiet till now. Son of a former justice minister, alright—master of political maneuvering.
No matter what I chose, he'd win. If I didn't apologize to save face and honor, I'd earn my classmates' ire. If I did apologize straight-up, he'd win their hearts.
"Haa, seriously."
I couldn't hold back the laugh bubbling up. I stood to approach Park Seon-ryung.
"Don't."
"No need for that."
But Jeong Hyeon-beom and So Ji-hu each grabbed my shoulders to stop me.
"An exam is about showing your usual skill. Don't rely on such shortcuts."
Jeong Hyeon-beom said it with rare seriousness.
"This time, Hyeon-beom bro's right. No need to bow for that cheat sheet, Byuljang bro."
So Ji-hu nodded in agreement, shaking his head.
"No, hyungs."
I gently shook off their hands.
"This is just a stepping stone to go further. Don't worry about it."
"Hey!"
"Byuljang bro!"
"Just stay seated."
For a bastard like me, there was no such thing as pride or honor. I could kneel a thousand times if needed.
But…….
"Hyungs."
Before heading to the lectern, I whispered to them.
"Mm?"
"Haaa."
Jeong Hyeon-beom bit his lip, and So Ji-hu sighed helplessly, shaking his head.
"Kuhuhuhuhu."
Park Seon-ryung snickered wickedly at the sight. Less like a high official's son, more like a street thug.
"Smart choice, bastard."
I stood before him, meeting his sneering gaze. His downcast eyes brimmed with triumph.
"You sure?"
I asked without averting my eyes.
"If I apologize, you'll really share them with everyone?"
"Hah. Doubting me?"
He looked pleased despite the doubt. His lips twitched like he'd already won.
"Fine. Got it."
Park Seon-ryung nodded magnanimously.
"Didn't you say back when you crushed that bandit gang you'd stake your father's honor? I'll do the same. If you apologize, I'll share these with you and everyone else—on my father's honor."
No, you don't have to go that far.
"Then, that's for real?"
This time, I pointed at the papers in his hand.
The way he nodded so readily, they might not even be real past papers—just scribbles.
"Those are really the first-year exam problems from before?"
"Yeah. Take a look."
The papers he held out had first-semester first-year problems. Seemed legit, no bluff.
"Satisfied now?"
He snatched them back like the preview was over. Tucking them under his arm, he puffed out his chest.
"Now! Kneel and beg forgiveness!"
"Pardon? You said just apologize earlier?"
"Hah! When a lesser begs a superior, kneeling is only proper! On your knees! Or……."
Like teasing a hungry dog with a treat, he dangled the papers.
Using them like a fan, he mocked me.
"Don't you want this?"
"I do, master."
"Then what are you waiting for? Kneel already!"
"Yes, master."
I remembered some famous comic line: Kneeling is for gaining momentum.
But not in my case.
I could gain all the momentum I needed without kneeling.
"Hahat! Thanks, Yong-yong!"
I snatched and tore the papers from his hand.
"Wh-what?"
Only a ragged edge remained in his grip.
"Yong-yong! I'll treat you after the exam! Thanks!"
I backed toward the classroom door, expressing gratitude. Then I turned to Jeong Hyeon-beom and So Ji-hu.
"Hyungs! Hurry! Come on! Out we go!"
"Kahahahat! Never a dull moment with you, Si-jin bro!"
"Ex-excuse us!"
Jeong Hyeon-beom, biting his lips to stifle laughter. So Ji-hu, sighing over the trouble.
Both had packed their things and stood as I'd asked earlier.
I shouted to my clueless classmates.
"Anyone who wants to see it, come to our room! We bastards give it for free! No strings, we'll just show you! Bye!"
Right before bolting out with Jeong Hyeon-beom and So Ji-hu, I glanced back.
Park Seon-ryung, finally grasping what happened, flushed crimson with a twisted face.
"You bastard! Stop right there!"
"Yong-yong! Sorry! The only one I get down for is my wife!"
I fired off the sex joke and sprinted to the dorm.
Woo-hoo! Exam past papers get!