Midnight Thief and the Top Scorer's Return
"You bastard! Kneel and beg right now, why don't you!"
I should've just listened to Kim Jin-sa and stayed the night. Then I wouldn't have been wandering around outside the village in the dead of night.
"Hey! Anyone there? Hey!"
I shouted toward the firmly shut village gate. No answer, no sign of life. It was only natural. With the sun long gone, everyone was asleep. Unless they were sneaking around for a secret rendezvous like I used to before marriage, no one was going to hear me and respond.
Heading back to Kim Jin-sa's house meant risking a tiger or some mountain beast on the way that could devour me. Sitting here until dawn when the gates opened was no better. Sure, I had a horse so I wouldn't get eaten outright, but I wasn't about to tempt fate with two lives.
"Huuuuh...!"
No choice. I'd have to climb over the wall. The outer wall was taller than me, but not impossibly so. Even the barbarians had hopped it easily during the Burat Rebellion—though they'd stepped on shattered glass shards and gotten a taste of blood.
Anyway, it was a height I could manage if I tried.
"Chorong-ah. Come here."
I led the horse right up to the base of the wall. I gently stroked its coarse fur to calm it, then stepped into the stirrup and mounted the saddle. Now the wall that had loomed over my head was level with my chin.
"Whoa, Chorong-ah. Stay still. Stay. Hup!"
Not knowing when the horse might bolt, I leaped toward the wall in a hurry.
Neigh!
"Whoa whoa! Hey hey! Hey, you damn nag!"
The moment I jumped, Chorong shifted its hooves.
"Urk, kuh...! You, horse-headed bastard...!"
I didn't crash to the ground. Barely clinging to the wall, I hauled myself up.
"Damn, thought I was done for. If it weren't my wedding horse, I'd sell the thing."
Grumbling, I finally got both feet planted on the wall. I looked down at the village in the dead of night. Not a single house had a light on. If it had been a cloudy night or a new moon, I wouldn't have seen a thing right in front of me.
"Higher than it looks?"
In the faint moonlight, the ground far below came into hazy view. It hadn't seemed that high from below, but up close, a bad fall could mean more than a twisted ankle.
"Ah, shit. Should've just said I'd stay."
I muttered the same self-reproach I'd been grumbling since the sky had fully darkened. Crouching low, I gripped the wall with my hands and lowered myself feet-first. Hanging like that should minimize the drop if I fell.
Of course, theory and reality are always different.
Thud!
"Ow!"
I landed on my ass and tumbled backward, even smacking the back of my head for good measure.
"Ow, that hurts...!"
It throbbed, but since I could move, it wasn't serious. Brushing the dirt off my butt, back, and head, I stood and headed for the gate. I unlatched the bar, fetched the horse that had been wandering alone outside, and re-barred it before finally heading home.
But... where was home?
This was my first time trying to find my new bride's house in the middle of the night. And all the houses looked damn near identical—who could tell them apart? Was it here? No, that was old man Choi's place. That one over there—who lived there again?
Gripping the reins, I wandered the village paths.
"Who's there?"
Then I ran into someone beyond a fence. He stood on his porch, his voice wary as he called out again.
"Who's there?"
I recognized the voice. It was Park ssi ajossi, who worked at the butcher shop under my father-in-law.
Snort!
Before I could even greet him, the horse suddenly whinnied. Dragging it around in the dead of night when everyone was asleep must've pissed it off. I stroked it to calm it down and tried to answer Park ssi ajossi.
But his misunderstanding hit faster.
"Thief! It's a thief! Horse thief!"
"Ajossi?!"
"You bastard! You know where you are, stealing horses?!"
"No! Wait! Ajossi!"
"Shut up, you thief!"
Ajossi's shout echoed through the quiet village. Angry voices rose from all around.
"What?! A thief?!"
"Which ballsy bastard's pulling this shit?"
"Does he know where he's at?!"
It wasn't just voices. Lights flickered on all over the village, like they'd lit torches.
"You horse-thieving scum! Today's your last day!"
Ever the vigilant type, Park ssi ajossi grabbed what looked like a club and burst through his gate, blocking my path.
"Do you know where this is?! This is none other than Chaekho Village, where we slaughtered hundreds of barbarians!"
"I know! I was there fighting too!"
"You're not leaving alive tonight!"
"Ajossi! I'm not a horse thief!"
"Move one more step! I'll smash your skull with this!"
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, villagers poured into the street with torches. The alley filled in seconds, bright as day. Their eyes glared like the flames, ready to kill.
I never imagined my simple desire to get home and rest would blow up like this.
"You bastard! Kneel and beg right now!"
"I told you!"
"Whoever you are, you're not getting out alive!"
"Wait! Look! It's me! Kim Si-jin!"
I yanked off my hat to prove it. The torchlight let them see my face clearly.
"It's the young master?"
"What're you doing here? Thought you were in Jeonju?"
"Man, you went to take the exam, not move there."
Through the confused crowd came my father-in-law's voice. He lumbered over, head and shoulders above the rest.
"Hahaha! Son-in-law! You could've sent word you were coming!"
"Just got here—how was I supposed to send word?!"
I answered with a wry chuckle, then bowed to everyone in apology.
"Sorry for waking you all! Couldn't see the road in the dark and got lost! My bad!"
"No worries! You always find the hole just fine!"
"Pardon? Oh... yeah."
I realized a bit late that one villager's quip was a dirty joke. They burst out laughing at my reaction.
"Puhahaha!"
"Dad, why're you laughing?!"
Even my father-in-law. The death glares from moments ago were forgotten.
"Sorry! Go back to bed!"
I apologized nonstop, trying to send them home. Then my father-in-law approached, eyeing me cautiously.
"So, son-in-law... how'd it go?"
"Hm? What?"
"You know. The exam."
"Oh, the exam?"
Villagers heading home froze at the word. They turned with expectant stares, waiting for my words. I looked around at my father-in-law and them, paused for effect, then said,
"I took jangwon."
"Jangwon? What's that?"
"What else? Our young master's the top scorer!"
"Woooah!"
The village buzzed at the news of my jangwon success. Not content, they started cheering in the dead of night.
"Whoa! Quiet! Shh! Everyone's sleeping!"
"Young master's got jangwon! How dare they sleep?!"
"No! That's why be quiet!"
The villagers were fired up for a whole different reason now. They looked ready to throw a feast on the spot.
"Son!"
"Husband!"
Then, through the crowd, my mother and Eori came running. Someone must've spread the word I was back.
"Mom! Eori!"
I dropped the reins and ran to them. Remembering Joseon vibes, I slid to my knees in a deep bow.
Swoosh!
"I'm home!"
"Oh my! You'll scrape your knees! Get up!"
"Husband, are you all right?"
I finished the abbreviated bow and rose. Mom pulled me into a hug.
"Son, you made it back safe? How was the exam? Did you eat well?"
"Yeah. Ate all the bibimbap I wanted there."
"Uh, yeah? Really?"
Mom, unaware Jeonju was famous for bibimbap in the modern world, blinked in confusion. Still, she patted me down for injuries and scolded me for being so thin, stroking my face.
"Husband!"
The moment Mom let go, Eori spread her arms like it was her turn. I hugged her tight, burying my face in her chest, inhaling her sweet scent as I whispered,
"Eori-ya. Sorry. You waited so long, huh?"
"No, not at all. I believed in you. I knew husband would come back for sure."
"I missed you like crazy. You missed me too, right?"
"Yes. I missed you so, so much."
She squeezed harder, proving it was true. My heart swelled, and I felt a warm dampness on my face. Looked like tonight called for deeper love than before.
"But, husband."
"Yeah? What?"
"Why'd you go to the gisaeng house?"
"...Huh?"
The fluffy mood vanished. Looking up, Eori's face felt colder than the blue moonlight.
"Word spread even here. That you caused a scene at the gisaeng house."
"Th-that... Eori-ya."
I rolled my eyes, hunting for an out. But her arms held me firm, and the villagers averted their gazes, edging away.
"Ahem! T-time for bed."
"Son-in-law, I'll stable the horse. Head in."
"We'll hear about jangwon tomorrow, son."
Not just the villagers—even my father-in-law and mom slipped away.
"Husband."
Eori called again. Her voice was icy, unlike our reunion. Looking up, her dark eyes stared down like the night sky.
"Did you go to the gisaeng house to take a concubine?"
"No! That time I got tricked into it! Tricked!"
"'That time'?"
She caught my slip-up, frowning.
"You went again? How many times?"
"J-just twice! Twice!"
"I heard the first was a mistake, the second a habit."
"That time it was just business talk...!"
Wait—didn't that sound like some sleazy guy caught at a brothel?
"No."
Eori pushed me away from her embrace, then gripped my wrist like handcuffs.
"Shall we discuss it properly at home?"
That night, I burned body, soul, and the hours till dawn begging forgiveness. Eori forgave me as day broke, but I forgave myself only when the sun hit midday.