Homecoming Roast: Jangwon Triumph and Triple Shame
Most of the 3,000 nyang I'd gotten from selling the clothes at the deputy official's viewing went straight to the gisaeng house. Carrying that much cash on the road, with couriers coming every other day, was too risky anyway. I figured I'd use it for living expenses over the three years at the academy.
I packed up the deposit receipt, a little souvenir, and my Jangwon certification, then headed home—dragging along whiny Hui-un, who kept whining about failing the exam.
"Haaah...! Father’s gonna kill me...!"
Serves you right for hitting the gisaeng house. Nah, forget that—with how you were gallivanting around right up until the day before the exam, you were doomed from the start, kid.
Hui-un had set out early in the morning, but even as the sun dipped low, he wouldn't stop sighing. I called out to him as he slumped on his horse, heaving dramatic sighs.
"Young master."
"Yeah? What's up?"
It was all over anyway, but his pathetic moping was getting on my nerves, so I tried to placate him, if only for a moment.
"Need my sogowi by any chance?"
"No need."
That was unexpected. Everyone else had been clamoring to buy the underwear of a Jangwon top scorer. But Hui-un shot it down flat and explained why.
"Even after wearing your sogowi, look at the mess I'm in."
"You wore mine?!"
"Figured it was worth a shot. Didn't work out great, though. Comfy enough to wear, but that's it."
"Why'd you wear it without asking! That was a gift from His Highness the Crown Prince!"
"It's not like it'll wear out from a quick try. You didn't even notice until I said something."
You should've just kept your mouth shut! I'd definitely counted my underwear pairs when I packed yesterday. The number matched what I'd brought to Jeonju. Which meant one of the pairs I had on me now had been worn by Hui-un.
Which... which one did you wear? I'll give it to you.
"How should I know? Just grabbed one at random."
Then why wear it at all! Gross, dude—now the owner's all creeped out! The thought that the pair I had on right now might be one he'd worn made my face twist in disgust. I vowed to do laundry the second I got home and hurried my steps.
We made it back to the hometown, but instead of heading straight to our village, I kept escorting Hui-un.
"Why're you following?"
Hui-un shot me a side-eye as I breezed past the road to Chaekho Village. I asked him like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Haven't delivered you home yet, young master. I'll see you all the way."
"What?"
Hui-un scowled immediately. He'd sniffed out that I was up to something.
"Cut the loyal retainer act. Go your own way."
"Your path is my path, young master."
"Get home already!"
"Can't do that, young master. I'll stick with you to the end."
"You little—"
I ignored his glares and tantrums completely—which wasn't hard, since I'd never cared in the first place. No matter how much he yelled at me to leave, I dragged him all the way to Yangban Village, where the town's elite nobles lived. Smoke rose here and there from cooking fires, and the savory smell of rice filled the streets as folks headed home.
"Hey! You there!"
Among them was Hyeong-bang, who'd known me since I was a kid.
"Si-jin! What's all this?!"
Hyeong-bang spotted me leading the horse before he even noticed Hui-un riding it. His beard fluttering, he rushed over with eyes sparkling brighter than the sunset.
"Si-jin! Tell me—how'd it go?!"
"Good health to you, Lord Hyeong-bang."
"Hah! Skip the formalities! Out with it—did you pass? Fail?"
"Well, uh..."
"Hey! You punk—picking up bad habits out there? Spit it out!"
"My apologies, Lord Hyeong-bang."
I bowed my head in apology instead of answering. His beaming smile twisted into a frown of dismay.
"Hah... hahaha! This..."
He let out a nervous chuckle, clearly baffled.
"You failed? You? Why the hell would you fail? Those Jeonju fools must be blind! How could they cut you?!"
"Lord Hyeong-bang, please calm down."
"How can I?! I'll write a petition right—"
I'd meant to break the Jangwon news to Kim Jin-sa first among the townsfolk, so I'd apologized without spilling it— but he'd taken it as failure.
"No, sir, lend me your ear a sec."
"Hm?"
"Just a moment. Promise."
"What's this about?"
"Truth is..."
I leaned in under his hat and whispered the facts.
"What?!"
Hyeong-bang jumped back like he'd been shocked—in a good way. His face flushed with excitement, mirroring the sunset glow. He beamed like it was his own victory.
"You... you're really the Jangwon? For real?"
"Shh! Sir! Shh! You're the first in town I'm telling!"
"Heh, right! Right! My lips are sealed—sewn shut if need be!"
"No need for that much."
"Hahaha! Good lad! Good lad! Definitely too big for some lowly investigator gig!"
He pounded my shoulder in glee, then finally noticed Hui-un dismounting.
"Hm? Isn't that the young master? How'd you do, sir?"
"Uh, well, you see..."
"Hmph. Don't take it too hard. Plenty more chances, right?"
He'd already guessed from the mumbling. Then, politely consoling Hui-un, he turned back to me with a grin.
"Haha! Si-jin! Swing by my place later—got a fine bottle of liquor in."
"Yes, sir. I will."
"Hahaha! See you then! Safe travels, young master."
"Uh... safe travels to you too, sir."
Hui-un's face was visibly sour as he bowed to the elder. It'd be even worse showing it to Kim Jin-sa. I waved to Hyeong-bang as he walked off, then turned to Hui-un.
"This way, young master."
"Uh... yeah..."
Everyone else loved going home, but Hui-un was the opposite. The closer we got to his stuff, the more his face rotted. His head drooped lower, staring at the dirt. By the time we reached his family gate, he couldn't even yell for them to open up—just stood there mute.
"Ahem!"
I cleared my throat for him and bellowed at the top of my lungs.
"Open this gate!!"
With dinner prep in full swing, the house couldn't be empty. Sure enough, the gate creaked open, revealing a familiar face.
"Who— oh! Young master!"
Dol-soe, whom I'd known since childhood, spotted Hui-un right away. He turned toward the courtyard and hollered.
"Ma'am! Master! The young master's here!"
"What?! Our Hui-un?!"
Kim Jin-sa's bright voice rang out immediately.
"Hehehe! Come in! Come i— huh?!"
Dol-soe flung the gate wide in excitement, then froze when he saw me. Eyes bulging like he hadn't expected me alongside Hui-un, he gawked.
I bowed to him with a smile.
"Hello?"
"C-Captain? You're here too? But why...?"
"Gotta escort the young master all the way. I'll leave once he's inside."
"Right! Hui-un!"
The gate flew fully open as I finished, and Kim Jin-sa appeared, eyes gleaming at Hui-un.
"Hui-un! How'd it go?!"
"F-Father, I, well, actually..."
"Hm."
The more Hui-un hemmed and hawed, the more the smile drained from Kim Jin-sa's face.
"My deepest apologies, Father."
By the time he apologized, his father's expression was pure gloom.
"Sigh... I see. You worked hard. Long trip there and back—must be exhausted. Come in... Hm? Si-jin?"
Kim Jin-sa finally noticed me. Hope flickering anew, his eyes sparkled as he turned.
"Si-jin. And you? Did you pass?"
"Huuuuh...!"
I sucked in a massive breath to answer. Then collapsed to the ground, pounding the dirt and wailing.
"Oh nooo! Woe is meee!"
"What the—?!"
"What're you doing, you fool?!"
The father-son duo panicked at my sudden outburst. My antics didn't just stun them—they drew stares from passersby too.
"Huh? Isn't that Kim Si-jin?"
"What's his deal?"
"He went up for the exam not long ago. Must've flunked."
Folks stopped to whisper and gawk.
"H-Hui-un! What's wrong with Si-jin? Did... did he fail too?!"
Kim Jin-sa was more flustered than when he'd heard of his second son's third flop in a row.
"N-No, Father."
Hui-un glanced at me in confusion, then shook his head at his dad—about to blurt out my results unprompted.
"This guy's the Jangwon—"
"Oh sir! How can I face you with my shame!"
I lunged forward, grabbing Kim Jin-sa's trouser leg before "Jangwon" could slip out. Begging pathetically, I spilled the truth.
"Forgive me, sir! I went to escort the young master, but he failed while I got Jangwon! I'm so sorry! Feels like I stole his glory!"
At the same time, I roasted Hui-un publicly.
"The young master! Three times!Three failures! Not once or twice—one!Two!Three!Thrice! And me? Nailed Jangwon on the first try! Oh woe!!"
I splayed my fingers wide for all the passersby to see, hollering it loud. Hui-un's face curdled deeper with every word, while Kim Jin-sa beamed inwardly but couldn't show it with his second son watching. Savoring their reactions, I wailed again about "what to do."
And so, the mundane news of Hui-un's triple failure—and my extraordinary Jangwon win on the first go—spread through the town like wildfire.