The Descent into Resignation
Han Sujin slowly grew accustomed to Lee Han’s daily demands. At first, every nerve in her body had been frayed, and simply following his instructions felt like an agonizing trial. Her hands would tremble, her breath would hitch, and every time she faced Lee Han’s member, a wave of nausea would rise in her throat.
"Hngh..."
She swallowed her tears and bit her lip. She felt like she wanted to die. But as a week, then two weeks passed, she began to grow numb.
The act of stroking Lee Han’s member up and down with her hands began to feel mechanical. She no longer had the strength to cry. She simply focused on the act with a blank expression, her emotions deadened.
'Hurry... I just want this to be over...'
That was all Han Sujin wished for. She had become increasingly desensitized to the humiliation that was repeated until it became tiresome.
Whenever she finished and left the office, she would suddenly snap back to reality. She would be shocked, thinking of herself just moments before. Her heart felt hollow, devoid of any emotion.
'I can be this calm...'
She felt like a stranger to herself. As if she had always been this way, in those moments, she didn't even have the strength to hate Lee Han.
Perhaps she should be grateful that Lee Han wasn't defiling her body further. She was always terrified that his demands would escalate. As long as that didn't happen, she felt she could endure it.
'Just... this much is bearable.'
Han Sujin would occasionally think that. It was a relief that he wasn't violating her body anymore. Yes, as long as he kept to this line, she could somehow hold on. She consoled herself with such self-rationalization.
The act, too embarrassing to even put into words, began to feel like a part of her life.
'I only have to endure it for... a few minutes a day.'
Thinking this way made her feel a little more at ease.
And so, Han Sujin’s heart slowly crumbled. Her pride, once so brutally trampled, was nowhere to be found. She was simply surviving by becoming numb to reality. Lee Han keenly sensed her crumbling resolve. He realized that she was slowly becoming desensitized. It seemed the time had come to move to the next stage.
One day, while Han Sujin was caressing Lee Han’s member as usual, Lee Han slowly reached out and stroked her cheek. Han Sujin’s pupils wavered. She looked up at him in surprise, but quickly lowered her gaze.
It was because she had let her guard down, accustomed to the routine. Lee Han’s touch continued. This time, he caressed the nape of her neck. Her delicate skin slipped beneath the man’s rough palm. It was a chilling sensation that made her skin crawl. Han Sujin flinched, but in the end, she did not resist.
Next, Lee Han gently stroked her shrinking shoulders. Han Sujin squeezed her eyes shut at the touch against her bare skin.
'Endure it... I have to endure it...'
She bit her lip and consoled herself. Her shoulders were still bearable. She could just wipe them off with the back of her hand later.
But a few days later, Lee Han’s touch moved below her collarbone. He traced the upper part of her breasts, moving slowly downward. Han Sujin felt a terror that made her heart stop. Without realizing it, she brushed his hand away.
Lee Han spoke to persuade her.
"You should be understanding about this much. It’s easier for both of us if I can ejaculate a little faster."
Han Sujin resisted violently.
"No, not this. You have to draw the line!"
But as the days went by, she slowly crumbled under Lee Han’s sweet-talking. It became harder to refuse each time. She began to grow numb to his touch.
One day, when Lee Han hooked his finger into the edge of her bra, Han Sujin no longer resisted. Instead, she muttered in a small voice.
"...Finish it quickly."
Han Sujin groaned, but she didn't refuse. She just turned her head and closed her eyes.
The next day, Lee Han’s actions became bolder. He grabbed and kneaded her entire breast. She barely managed to endure it, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Hngh..."
A sigh she couldn't suppress escaped her lips.
"I need more stimulation to finish quickly."
Lee Han said it as if coaxing her. Han Sujin bit her lip and groaned inwardly.
'I know... I know everything. But still, this...'
She screamed in her heart, but soon gave up. She knew it was a futile resistance. It only dragged out the time.
"...I understand."
She spat it out through gritted teeth. It was a consent of resignation.
"Right, this isn't too much to ask, is it?"
Lee Han smiled with satisfaction. Then, without hesitation, he shoved his hand inside Han Sujin’s bra. Her firm nipple was caught between his fingertips.
"Hup..."
Her breath caught in her throat. But Han Sujin held it in tightly.
There was no choice but to get used to his actions. Time would solve it. She wanted to believe that.
Meanwhile, Lee Han enjoyed Han Sujin’s indifferent reaction. It was ecstatic to knead her soft breasts in his hand.
'Little by little... I'll make you mine, bit by bit.'
He vowed, looking at her blank face. He would make this woman his, no matter what.
As time passed, Han Sujin began to feel that all of this was just a routine. She regarded Lee Han’s touch as something she simply had to endure.
'Hurry... let's finish quickly... that's the only way to be comfortable.'
She gritted her teeth and urged herself on. Resisting his actions was meaningless. It only dragged out the time. She felt it was better to just take it quietly.
So, she suppressed her emotions and stayed still with a blank face. She became accustomed to receiving Lee Han’s touch mechanically.
"Ugh..."
Even as she let out an unpleasant groan, she quickly regained her composure. Without making any expression, she simply cast her gaze into the void.
'To think this is my daily life now...'
Even while lamenting her situation, Han Sujin accepted it calmly. She thought that since it was her daily life anyway, she should just get it over with as soon as possible. Even if this nightmarish reality repeated itself.
Meanwhile, Lee Han observed Han Sujin’s indifferent reaction with interest. He liked how she accepted his touch with a blank face. It seemed she was sufficiently tamed now.
'Shall I be a bit bolder now?'
Curling the corners of his mouth, Lee Han pondered his next move. He intended to lead her to ruin by slowly crossing the line.
A few more days passed. Han Sujin, resigned to her changed life. She felt that this humiliating act had become a part of her work. She stared blankly into space, mechanically receiving Lee Han’s desires.
As soon as Han Sujin entered Lee Han’s office, she approached him out of habit and reached for his pants belt. But Lee Han grabbed her wrist and said.
"Wait a moment, Sujin."
For a moment, Han Sujin looked up, wondering what was wrong. Then, she realized the action she had taken unconsciously and was flustered.
'Oh my god... what did I just do?'
She was confused by the fact that she had acted so naturally, to an extent that was strange even to her. Her face burned with shame.
Lee Han smiled and continued.
"Let’s do it differently today. How about you do it with your mouth?"
"What did you say...?"
Her eyes widened. She felt a wave of shock at Lee Han’s bold demand.
"Are you crazy? That kind of dirty thing..."
"Oh, why are you like this. Doing it with your mouth will finish faster. It’s more comfortable for both of us."
Han Sujin trembled, gritting her teeth. Goosebumps rose all over her body. She barely suppressed the urge to kill Lee Han.
"...I can’t do that. Please, don’t make me do that."
She steadied her voice and refused politely. Lee Han clicked his tongue as if disappointed.
"Then do it once every two days. But do it with your mouth. How about that? Isn’t that a decent deal?"
"Th-that is..."
Han Sujin was speechless. A conflict arose within her.
'If it’s once every two days... wouldn’t that be a little more bearable?'
'No, what are you doing? Get a grip!'
Self-reproach surfaced. It hurt her pride to fall for such a dog-like negotiation.
Lee Han did not miss that momentary hesitation. He quickly attacked Han Sujin’s heart.
"I understand. It’s a difficult decision. But I think this is the best way for both of us. You feel it too, Sujin. How painful it is to do this every day..."
At Lee Han’s words, Han Sujin nodded. He was right. It was truly painful to endure such humiliation every day.
"So, that’s why. We’re reducing it to once every two days. At least for one day, you won’t have to look at mine. Instead, let’s agree to do it with your mouth. How is it? Isn’t it a decent proposal?"
"That is..."
Han Sujin hesitated. She seemed to be caught in a dilemma.
'Not having to do this even for one day... wouldn't that be okay...'
'No, doing it with my mouth is out of the question. That’s crossing the line!'
The internal conflict grew more intense. Her reason whispered to refuse, but her emotions urged her to accept.
Lee Han continued as if he could read Han Sujin’s mind.
"Sujin. I know this is painful for you. But if we can be a little more comfortable with each other even like this, wouldn’t it be worth a try?"
At his sweet words, Han Sujin’s heart wavered violently. If she could have peace for even one day... the temptation was too intense.
"Haa..."
She let out a long, deep sigh. And then she answered in a small voice.
"...Is it really only once every two days? Promise me."
"I promise. Once every two days. No more."
At Lee Han’s firm tone, Han Sujin nodded.
"...I understand. Let’s do that."
For a moment, a victorious smile spread across Lee Han’s lips. The moment he had longed for had finally arrived.
Han Sujin felt so miserable for crossing the line herself. But it was an unavoidable reality. She could see no breakthrough to escape from the devil’s clutches.
A compromise that felt like selling herself out. That was leading Han Sujin’s fate in a bleak direction.
Han Sujin took a deep breath as if preparing her heart. Then she knelt down and placed her hand on the front of Lee Han’s pants. As she slowly lowered the zipper, she could feel his hardened member protruding through his underwear. Han Sujin looked at it with a pained face.
Just a few months ago, facing a member other than her husband’s was something she couldn't even imagine. She would have screamed in disgust and run away.
But Han Sujin was different now. She felt no great agitation even when seeing a man’s member that wasn't her husband’s. If anything, it felt more familiar than her husband Park Taeyoung’s. It was because she had become strangely numb from seeing and touching it every day.
'Ah... what on earth am I doing...'
Self-loathing flooded in. An act of betrayal that went beyond an affair. A race to the abyss that she couldn't stop even while knowing it. Han Sujin felt so miserable and dirty.
But she only swallowed her tears and let out a sigh-filled groan. She had long since given up and resigned herself. Now that this had become her daily life.
Han Sujin gritted her teeth. Then she pulled down Lee Han’s underwear and took out his member. She stared blankly at it as it pulsed vividly. A reddish-brown, grotesque object. It was a sight she was now all too familiar with.
'Right... let’s just finish this quickly somehow...'
Urging herself on, Han Sujin lowered her head. Then, hesitating, she opened her mouth.
"Ugh..."
As she took his member into her mouth, her breath hitched at the foreign sensation. A fishy smell hit her. Nausea surged, but she held it in. Then she began to move her head back and forth. The sensation of it scraping against the roof of her mouth gave her goosebumps.
"Ugh... *cough*..."
Suppressing the urge to gag, Han Sujin diligently caressed his member. She could feel the flesh filling her mouth becoming increasingly firm.
Before long, Lee Han pulled back for a moment, then grabbed Han Sujin’s hair roughly. He began to shove his member into her mouth. Because of the violent thrusting of his face, Han Sujin felt like she was almost suffocating.
"Hngh... *huff*... *gag*..."
Lee Han, who had been thrusting violently for a long time, let out a groan as he felt the urge to ejaculate. Soon after, hot semen poured deep into Han Sujin’s throat.
"Ugh... *hngh*..."
Han Sujin gagged at the pain of it violently stabbing the back of her throat. And soon, the hot semen flowed down her throat.
Her stomach turned at the bitter taste and fishy smell. Han Sujin gasped and backed away from Lee Han.
Without swallowing the semen that filled her mouth, she covered her mouth with her hand and ran to the bathroom. She sat down in front of the toilet and retched, "Ugh."
The thick semen, mixed with saliva and bodily fluids, splashed into the bowl. After retching for a long time, her stomach turned over. Cold sweat poured down like rain.
"*Huff*... *huff*..."
Trembling all over, Han Sujin buried her face in the toilet. The taste of semen still hadn't left her mouth. She sobbed, choked by her own misery.
"Ugh... it’s dirty... it’s so dirty..."
She felt dirty and sordid. Her mouth covered in semen and bodily fluids. Even the sight of her retching. It was the end of misery.
After pouring it all out for a long time, she finally managed to stand up. With unsteady steps, she leaned against the sink and rinsed her mouth.
She took water into her mouth and spat it out several times, but the thick sensation wouldn't easily go away. Only then did Han Sujin discover her face in the mirror. Disheveled hair, eyes reddened from crying. Even her lips, still dripping with saliva and bodily fluids.
Tears burst forth at the wretched sight. She sat down, shedding tears endlessly. She wiped her lips with trembling hands.
"Hngh... *sob*..."
Her sighs only increased with the endless humiliation.
After sobbing for a long time, she finally stopped. Han Sujin stood up with difficulty. Then, staggering, she walked out of the bathroom.
Lee Han was adjusting his pants with a calm face. Ignoring him, she opened the office door and slipped out. The sound of her heels echoed lonely in the empty hallway.
Han Sujin’s inner self was quiet, as if dead. It felt as if all emotions had been dulled, and she felt nothing. It was as if she were wandering through a long, dark abyss.
Her footsteps, her tears—now, she didn't know how to stop them.
Returning home, Han Sujin fell into deep contemplation. She wanted to escape from this nightmarish contract, but reality was cold. She could see no escape route.
'I have to end this somehow...'
Her sighs only increased with the hopelessness. But at some point, a strange thought crossed her mind.
'Since I changed it to doing it with my mouth instead of my hands... maybe this is better?'
At first, she was surprised by the thought she had. But when she thought about it carefully, it seemed to make sense.
'It’s not penetration, so it’s still okay... plus, it’s reduced to once every two days. Then wouldn’t it be bearable?'
A strange rationalization filled her head. Han Sujin gradually began to view her situation positively.
At the same time, her resistance to the act itself slowly dulled. She didn't feel like vomiting as she did when she first faced Lee Han’s member. Was it because she had gotten used to it?
'It’s work I have to do anyway. It would be more comfortable to adapt.'
She persuaded and persuaded herself. Since this work had become her daily life, she considered that she had no choice but to accept it.
And so, Han Sujin was slowly sinking into the abyss. At first, she had tried desperately to protect herself, but now it seemed she had entered the path of resignation.
In the past, she would have been willing to die rather than allow her body to be touched. But Han Sujin was different now. Where had that spirit gone? Only helplessness bloomed.
Perhaps it was less painful to just comply like this. Such self-deprecating thoughts raised their heads.
Han Sujin realized that she was becoming weak. But she couldn't help it. She had no strength or will left to escape Lee Han’s yoke.
She just resigned herself and accepted it. It was as if she had found a breathing hole in a hellish purgatory.
And so, Han Sujin chose the path of crossing the line herself. Intoxicated by the drug called rationalization, she was racing toward a tragic catastrophe. Perhaps she had already crossed a river from which there was no return.
The light in Han Sujin’s eyes was slowly fading away.