The Monkey King's Test
Scritch. Scritch.
Right now, I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
Without a chair, I was half-sprawled across the desk, filling out the questionnaire Sun Wukong had given me. For each question, I picked the number that best matched my feelings while occasionally stealing glances at his hazy silhouette watching me through the mist.
“Looking this way won’t get you anything.”
Sharp as ever.
Honestly, the fact that this thing would decide what power I received didn’t exactly put me in the best mood.
Scritch. Scritch.
The questionnaire was just a single sheet with questions only on the front. It had far fewer items than the usual MBTI-style tests I was used to. That made me worry whether such a short survey could actually produce a proper result. Keeping my eyes fixed on the paper, I asked Sun Wukong,
“Will this questionnaire really determine the ability I receive?”
“Why, you got a problem with it?”
“Not at all. It’s just that it feels a little insufficient to base the outcome on.”
“So what, you want me to give you a scarecrow or something? Let you show off all your skills to your heart’s content?”
His reply was dripping with clear displeasure. Had I rubbed him the wrong way? His tone had grown noticeably colder than before. At the same time, a chill began to seep through the mist surrounding us.
Gulp.
“Of course not. How could I possibly spout such nonsense to the legendary Great Yokai?”
“Seriously, why are you even worrying about my mood? Anyone listening would think you’re the yokai.”
Apparently my words weren’t entirely unwelcome. The icy atmosphere around us gradually warmed a little.
“I’m finished.”
“Good.”
And with that, I had finally completed the questionnaire. I straightened my back—which had been uncomfortably hunched the whole time—and set down the paper and pen. The moment I did, a soft poof sounded as both the pen and desk transformed into strands of hair and vanished.
“Whoa.”
“What, is it that impressive?”
“Huh? Yeah. It’s incredibly impressive.”
One of the abilities people usually associated with Sun Wukong. I never thought I’d get to see the clone and transformation techniques that used his hair in person. I was a little worried he might go bald if he used it too much, but judging by how thick his hair looked even through the mist, I probably didn’t need to worry.
“Hoya learned it too, so ask her to show you later.”
So the clone and transformation techniques were what Hoya had gotten from Sun Wukong.
“Let’s see~ How did our little human brat answer this… Hmm? Oho……”
A massive hand snatched the paper that had fallen to the floor when the desk disappeared. As Sun Wukong read through my answers, his voice grew intrigued.
“At least you didn’t lie on any of them.”
“How can you tell?”
“My eyes see everything.”
Did the Fiery Golden Eyes have that kind of ability too?
“Well, the result didn’t change much anyway.”
“I told you so.”
“Ahem. Anyway! Let’s move on to the real Q&A session.”
Chair Creation
“You’ve been standing the whole time. Sit down over there.”
He had given me a desk and pen while I filled out the questionnaire, and now he was even making me a chair. I sat on the wooden seat, which creaked faintly. The cold, hard texture pressed against me.
“Then I shall begin the questions.”
“Ah, yes.”
I wondered what kind of question would come this time. Honestly, I couldn’t even begin to guess anymore. Maybe it was because the questionnaire I’d just finished had been such a massive shock.
“What is your ideal type?”
Yet again, the question completely blew past anything I could have predicted. What kind of absurd question was this? Was this seriously part of the process to obtain Sun Wukong’s power?
“For reference, Hoya said her ideal type is someone with the face of the Northern Archduke.”
I didn’t want to know. I really didn’t want to know Hoya’s ideal type.
“And as for me……”
“I’m not interested! Besides, I don’t have an ideal type!”
“What a boring guy! With that kind of mentality, you dare try to take my power?!”
“What does my ideal type have to do with any of this?!”
Was this guy really Sun Wukong? The legendary Great Yokai? An existence on par with the Heavenly Demon?
“Listen well, you little human brat. Do you really think someone who can’t even be honest with themselves can obtain true strength?”
“That’s what I’m saying, what does that have to do with my ideal type……”
“Talking back! You’re talking back again, you T-type punk!!”
“……”
I was losing my mind. Was there no way to escape this insane, madness-consumed yokai?
There’s no way.
“There isn’t! So hurry up and answer, you boring little human brat!”
He read my mind?! Was this another special effect of the Fiery Golden Eyes? Since he could read my thoughts, there was no other option. He had already determined whether my questionnaire answers were lies or not, so he’d see through any deception immediately.
“I……”
“Yes! What is your true heart?!”
“As long as they’re kind, it’s fine.”
Crack.
The moment I answered, I heard something snap. Then Sun Wukong’s voice rang out.
“Grow, Ruyi Jingu Bang.”
My vision went completely dark.
Crunch.
-Zeon has been crushed
Boom. Boom.
“You boring bastard! Is this because you’re human?!”
Sun Wukong swung his weapon—the Ruyi Jingu Bang—and began slamming it down repeatedly on the spot where Zeon had been standing just moments ago.
Boom. Boom.
Despite his casual movements, the sounds that rang out were anything but light. Just seeing how deeply the ground caved in wherever the staff struck was enough to guess its terrifying power.
“Ugh, how dull!”
Shaking off the red bloodstains clinging to the Ruyi Jingu Bang, Sun Wukong breathed roughly through his nose and raised the staff to strike again.
Crackle.
His rampage continued until a figure wearing a robe appeared and spoke up.
“Oh dear. Did you kill that human?”
“Kill him? Who killed anyone! Do I look like someone who can’t control his emotions?!”
At the robed figure’s words, Sun Wukong’s eyes snapped open fiercely as he shouted. Any hero worthy of the title would have cowered before such a threat from the Monkey King. But the robed figure showed no fear whatsoever. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders with an almost casual air and replied,
“Yes. That’s exactly how you look.”
Thud.
A powerful gust of wind accompanied the sound of something exploding. Where the noise came from, the robed figure’s upper body had vanished without a trace, leaving only his legs in a bizarre, dead state. The only thing that could have caused it was the Ruyi Jingu Bang that Sun Wukong had swung toward him. Yet Sun Wukong paid it no mind, simply flicking the blood off his staff.
“See? You were trying to kill me just now too.”
Then, the robed figure who should have been dead reappeared. The corpse that had only legs left had already been swallowed by the mist and vanished. The robed man pointed at Sun Wukong’s earlier action and said,
“Your temper is still as short as ever.”
“I’m doing it because I know you don’t die here! Besides, you never die in the first place!”
In this space, death wasn’t real death. That was why Sun Wukong had no qualms about killing both Zeon and the robed figure before him. Well, since Zeon had entered as a qualified challenger, even if he revived, he wouldn’t be able to re-enter the trial.
“What are you going to do now?”
“What now?”
“You can’t just kill that human like that. According to the rules here, you were supposed to give him one of the powers you possess and send him on his way.”
When a qualified challenger arrived at the trial, Sun Wukong was required to bestow one of his powers. That was the absolute, unbreakable law of this place. But at the robed figure’s words, Sun Wukong simply snorted.
The robed man didn’t know, but Sun Wukong had already passed a portion of his power to Zeon. In other words, he hadn’t broken the rules.
“I already gave it.”
“Pardon?”
But only Sun Wukong himself knew that. Neither the robed figure before him nor Zeon, who had received the power, were aware of it.
“No, when exactly?”
“When I smashed that bastard’s head.”
“You gave it then? I didn’t feel anything.”
To give away power without the recipient even noticing. The robed figure quickly understood why he hadn’t detected it. This crazy monkey. He was growing stronger even while giving his power to others!
“Just how much stronger have you become compared to before?”
“Stronger? As if! I’m still not even worth the dirt under my fingernails compared to my glorious past!”
“Of course it should be that way.”
Otherwise, they wouldn’t have sealed Sun Wukong here in the first place. Yet instead of gradually weakening as he gave away his power, he was showing an abnormal recovery—slowly regaining his past strength even as he bestowed it. Of course, compared to his prime, he still had a long way to go, but eventually he would surely reclaim that full power.
“More importantly, Orphan.”
“Don’t call me that. It makes me sound like I don’t have parents.”
“Don’t you?”
“You damn monkey bastard.”
“Kahaha! Sorry, sorry! Stop squeezing my head, you punk!”
The sudden curse had angered him, but Sun Wukong’s following words made him relax. He decided to play along with the monkey’s rhythm.
“I swear! Where in the world is there a guy who doesn’t even know his own ideal type! Are all human men like that?”
“Of course not.”
Besides, that question itself had been quite problematic.
“Honestly, even I think that question was a bit much. For heaven’s sake, what kind of question is asking for someone’s ideal type? Even old geezers wouldn’t……”
“This guy.”
Thud.
“Please stop killing me. No matter how many times I revive, dying still feels awful.”
“Kahaha! Then get stronger! Strong enough not to die from my attacks!”
“If that were possible, I wouldn’t be here. I would’ve smashed your head and left already.”
That was enough small talk. He had played along with Sun Wukong’s pace sufficiently. So the robed figure decided to steer the conversation back on track.
“So, what exactly did you give that human child?”
“What? You still haven’t noticed?”
“You have to tell me for me to know.”
“You should’ve realized the moment you looked at his eyes!”
“His eyes?”
Only then did the robed figure’s gaze rise to take in Sun Wukong’s form. Though still obscured by mist, the massive silhouette was clear. And beyond the haze, the distinctly visible ‘right’ golden eye.
“…Are you insane?”
Finally realizing the difference, the robed figure screamed internally. Why? Why was only one eye glowing? It was supposed to be both!
“What happened to your eyes?! Where did the other one go? Get rid of that damn cloud for a second!”
“Why are you so surprised? I gave it to the little human brat, obviously.”
Freeze.
“You gave him the Fiery Golden Eyes?”
“Yeah. Since the poor guy doesn’t even know his own ideal type, I gave it to him so he could at least meet a good woman. My eye for people is pretty much perfect, you know.”
“No, but still… giving away the Fiery Golden Eyes?”
What was the Fiery Golden Eyes? It was the Eye of Insight that saw through all magic and illusions obtained from the Eight Trigrams Furnace, piercing straight to the truth. Moreover, though not widely known to the world, the Fiery Golden Eyes……
“Ah, I already gave it! What do you want me to do about it now!”
“Did you like that human that much? No, you only gave that fox you were so fond of the powers of cloning and transformation.”
“Because that was enough for Hoya! And originally I was going to give that human brat a weapon, but I changed my mind. The kid mainly uses a sword, not a staff.”
“You’ve really lost it.”
What was he supposed to do with this yokai?
“Why are you so interested in a guy who’s already left?”
“…Looks like I have no choice but to be.”
Brushing back his flowing golden hair, the robed figure waved his hand.
“I’ll keep an eye on that human, so Great Sage Equal to Heaven, please just go to sleep. I’ll wake you when the next challenger arrives.”
“I’ve been sleeping the whole time and you want me to sleep again? Can’t I at least play a little before……”
“No. You. May. Not.”
No matter how much time passed or how close he grew to Sun Wukong, he could not neglect his duty.
“Then sleep well.”
“Sleep, sleep! Damn it, you’re so annoying I really will sleep.”