Chapter 38
Chapter 38
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: The Villain's Trial
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'This can't be happening. It can't! I'm the master of this courtroom, so how did it come to this?'
In the trial I devised, in the courtroom I presided over, I'm about to lose sovereignty over the fridge!
Getting cornered is the rats' role. Why am I the one backed into a corner? This is an absurd situation!
The two rats were already whispering to each other with squeaks, utterly convinced of their victory.
The mustache of Darkness, with his tiny glasses, twitched smugly, while White King tilted his head toward me with a look that said, "Is that all?"
If this continued, not only would I lose fridge sovereignty, but my dignity as a villain would crumble too.
Thud thud─
Everlin lightly tapped the pork cutlet hammer.
"After reviewing both sides' arguments, I propose a compromise."
"A compromise?"
Everlin continued without changing her tone in the slightest.
"From now on, how about I regularly sort out snacks past their expiration dates or food that Master has left untouched for a long time? I could give them to the rats or throw them out."
"Th-that's absolutely not allowed! How dare you touch my snacks!"
"Master, do you remember last month's incident?"
Uh... which one?
The time mold grew on the cake? When the month-old chocolate turned white? Or when the half-year-old pudding was discovered at the back of the fridge...?
"There was even milk we didn't know how long had been there... It was no longer milk or cheese, but something else entirely. It was occupying one corner of the fridge like a biochemical experiment."
She inhaled faintly.
"Master, I've attempted to clean the fridge 27 times in the past three months. Each time, you opposed it with 'Absolutely not,' 'I'll eat it later,' or 'It's all mine.' In the end, the fridge only got more cramped, with no space left for new snacks..."
"B-but...!"
The two rats gestured in strong agreement with Everlin's proposal. White King raised his tiny arm with a squeak, and Darkness nodded while adjusting his glasses.
'Wait, is this a pre-scripted play?'
Everlin's mediation came out too naturally, at the perfect timing. And the rats' reactions were too smooth.
All those examples, all that evidence... This wasn't mere coincidence. This was a trap aimed at me!
Everlin and the rats in cahoots! No wonder I'd felt her tone leaning toward sympathizing with the rats' logic earlier!
"Bribery of the judge! This is outrageous!"
"Master, it's merely a suggestion for improving your fridge management and eating habits."
"I object!"
But no solid counterargument came to mind. If I'd known, I should've at least read some law books in the library earlier!
'Think fast, Grimoire! If you lose like this, you'll forfeit your villain rights!'
The rats' eyes grew sharper. Time was running out.
Then, a flash of realization struck me.
'Wait. What am I doing? I'm not a lawyer. Not a prosecutor either. I'm a villain!'
Right! I'm a villain. A great villain dreaming of world conquest!
Gray light began swirling around my horns again.
'Villains don't need to fight with laws or evidence! No need to be trapped by logic!'
That was my mistake—trying to win with law and logic.
True villains don't fight that way.
What villains need is cunning, schemes, and wicked tactics!
"Kakak!"
I slowly straightened my posture and lowered my voice.
"I'll make a special proposal."
I eyed the rats alternately with a sly grin. Darkness and White King exchanged wary glances.
"Truth be told, I wasn't angry at all! Not even a little! Not really!"
I said it as softly as possible, like a friend.
True villains know how to control their emotions for their goals.
"I simply want to know the truth."
Tap tap.
I drummed my fingers on the table.
That tiny motion drew both rats' gazes, as if my finger were the trigger deciding their fate.
"The first one among you to speak the truth... I'll specially forgive. The Grimoire Family always rewards loyalty."
The leisure of a gambler laying down his cards and awaiting the outcome.
For villains, atmosphere is everything.
Squeak squeak─!
Darkness perked up his ears with a mocking expression, his eyes saying, "You dare ignore our bond?"
Tense silence flowed. Three seconds, five...
Squeak!!
White King suddenly lunged forward.
Squeak squeak squeak! Squeak! Squeak squeak!!
His tiny feet scrambled, and he began squeaking furiously while pointing at Darkness.
"Oh ho? So Darkness said to eat it? That my snacks are especially delicious and he couldn't resist? You desperately tried to stop him, but he wouldn't listen?"
Darkness's tiny eyes widened in shock. He stared at White King with a face full of betrayal.
"As expected of a white rat, selling out the black one!"
The thrill of victory surged through me.
An exhilarating reversal! A fatal blow piercing the enemy's heart in one strike!
Kakak! This is the true way of a villain!
"Darkness!! You dare steal my snacks? You're guilty! Guilty! Guilty!"
Squeak!!!
Darkness's shriek filled the kitchen.
White King sidled up to me slyly, squeaking with eyes that said, "I'm forgiven, right?"
At that moment, I changed my expression and glared at White King.
"But!
White King flinched.
"In a villain organization, betrayal is a greater crime than snack theft! So you're guilty too!"
Squeak???
White King toppled backward in shock, covering his face with his tiny paws and letting out mournful squeaks.
'Divide and conquer.'
This was the true villain way. Pit the rats against each other to sow division, then punish them all!
Caesar, I succeeded where you failed!
"Kakak! Kakak!!"
Squeak squeak─!
The two rats realized each other's faults and embraced again. A moment of confirming friendship in despair—but it was too late.
The betrayer and the snack thief would both face punishment before the villain's court.
"I will now deliver the verdict."
Everlin raised the pork cutlet hammer.
"The defendants, Darkness and White King, are both found guilty."
Thud thud thud.
"As expected, justice... no, villains always triumph!"
'Justice' slipped out unwittingly, but now wasn't the time to nitpick. What mattered was that I'd defended my fridge sovereignty!
"Will Grimoire now pronounce the punishment for the criminal rats?"
Ah, this sweet moment! The time I'd been waiting for had arrived!
I rose with a wicked smile.
"Very well. As the great villain and victor of this court, I pronounce your punishment: the 'Punishment of Sisyphus'!"
I declared it in the most grandiose voice, like the voice of an Olympian god echoing from the mountains!
"Do you remember the fate of Sisyphus, who deceived the gods? He pushed a boulder up the mountain, but the moment it reached the summit, it rolled back down──"
The rats' eyes widened in terror. Their tiny bodies began to tremble.
"That horrific curse of eternally repeating meaningless labor. The agony of never advancing a single step no matter how hard you try. I shall make you taste endless futility!"
Squeak squeak squeak─!
The terrified rats clung to each other, trembling and shrieking.
A highly satisfying reaction.
"Wait there! I'll fetch the terrifying torture device soon!"
I dashed to my room and pulled out the secret item hidden in the closet drawer. It was on sale cheap from last month's home shopping channel.
"Behold! The fearsome torture device... the 'Wheel of Eternity'!"
I placed two small hamster wheels on the table.
Sturdy reinforced plastic models. One black, one white. Eco-certified too!
Everlin's expression shifted subtly. Her eyebrows rose ever so slightly before returning to her usual blankness.
"Get on and start running now! Until I say stop!"
Darkness and White King exchanged puzzled looks.
Squeak?
"Infinite stamina drain! Infinite pain! Infinite frustration! This is villain punishment!"
The two rats cautiously climbed onto their respective wheels.
They started slowly at first, then picked up speed. The wheels spun round and round.
Rrr rumble─!
"That's it, run! Run! How does it feel to stay in place forever no matter how much you run?"
Perfect. Their crumbling wills, their despair, their regret...
But something was off.
The rats' expressions... they looked happy.
"Wh-what? Why aren't you suffering? This is supposed to be terrifying punishment!"
Everlin explained calmly.
"Master, rats naturally love running on wheels. It's instinct."
"What? Wait..."
Come to think of it, hamsters are rodents too!
The rats ran even more excitedly on their wheels.
"Ahem!"
I cleared my throat and hastily salvaged the situation. A villain's dignity must never be tarnished, especially not in front of subordinates.
"Of course, I knew all along! This is... specially made training equipment! My minions must maintain peak condition! Train relentlessly for future operations!"
Everlin and the rats looked at me with puzzled expressions.
"Moreover, great villains amplify fear with mercy! But remember this: if you ever steal my snacks without permission again..."
I paused to think. What threat would work? Right—taking away the wheels might actually be real punishment.
"...I won't let it slide! I'll make you realize how boring life is without wheels!"
Squeak squeak─!
The rats exchanged horrified glances.
Finally! My threat had worked!
'Yes! I aimed for this reaction from the start! I perfectly read their psychology and habits!'
"Your punishment is one hour a day for a week! And submit reflection essays too!"
Darkness and White King nodded while running, as if to say they understood.
'A perfect villainous victory in the end! I defended fridge sovereignty, key to world conquest, and boosted my minions' loyalty and stamina!'
Sure, the unexpected twist of them enjoying the punishment happened, but that was just a minor detail.
Rrr rumble─ clatter─
The wheels spun merrily. The rats' tiny feet padded relentlessly.
No, they weren't mere rats. Darkness and White King, my loyal minions.
'These guys are kinda cute...'
I was disappointed the punishment didn't go as planned, but seeing my minions happy felt oddly good.
Yes, happy minions mean stronger loyalty and smoother world conquest.
This is definitely strategic thinking. Fitting for a genius villain!
Against the backdrop of their joyful squeaks, another glorious victory was etched into my villain career.