Chapter 17
Chapter 17
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: Villain's Confusion
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Pulling the cart along, I pushed aside the moment of philosophical revelation.
A true villain never stays in one place. Farewell to the vegetable aisle!
"Everlin, where should this body target next? That's right! The tasting station! That's where human desires are laid bare most nakedly!"
"Master's ideas are always brilliant."
As we approached the tasting station, a lady in a white hat was setting out small plates.
"Come on over~ Try our new frozen shrimp tempura~"
Without hesitation, I swept up all the shrimp tempura from the plate. One, two, three, four... five at once!
"Kakak! This body claims all the samples for itself! This is true villainy! Not even giving the other customers the slightest chance with this wicked deed!"
It'll make the news. With a headline like 'Villain Devastates Supermarket Tasting Station'!
But the lady's reaction was strange.
"Oh my, you eat so well! You must be hungry, huh? Have more. Samples are unlimited, dear."
Instead, the lady piled even more shrimp tempura onto the plate.
"Huh? Are you submitting to this body? Well, that's fine, but..."
Definitely a reaction of terror! She's offering everything she has to save her life!
At that moment, customers started gathering around.
"Seeing that kid eat it so deliciously, it must be really good!"
"Give me one too, please!"
"Me too!"
The product sold out in an instant.
"Oh dear, thanks to you, I sold out today's stock! Thank you, cute little miss!"
"Miss!? This body is a villain! Vil! lain!"
"Everlin! This is weird! Why do this body's villainous deeds keep turning into good ones?"
"Humans are instinctively drawn to the strong. Master's presence is so overwhelming that... ordinary humans unwittingly start acting just like Master."
"Oh ho... Indeed! If it's due to the villain's charisma, there's no helping it!"
After that, Everlin and I got serious about shopping for curry ingredients.
Onions, potatoes, and...
"The meat for curry has to be OnePlus Hanwoo tenderloin! Only the finest ingredients suit the palate of a great villain!"
Oh no! I got too absorbed in shopping!
"Ahem, you still don't get it? How dense! This body's villainy isn't mere pranks—it's advanced psychological warfare designed to sow social chaos!"
Everlin subtly adjusted the camera angle to better show my horns. Truly a professional maid!
"What is villainy? Grand destruction? Massive disorder? No! True villainy is the massive unease built up from tiny everyday inconveniences!"
Suddenly, I felt like a genius.
"How dare you mock this body's philosophy!"
I was flustered for a moment but quickly regained my dignity.
Well, villains are always misunderstood by the masses!
I scanned the supermarket for the third villainy spot.
I need something with real impact! A wicked scheme to skyrocket this body's fame in an instant!
That's when I spotted products marked 'Unbeatable Discount, Mega Sale!'
20% off... 5,000 won off...
"This is a mega sale? Calling this unbeatable? Humans are so easily satisfied with so little! Then I'll plant an even greater illusion! Third villainy begins! The lowest price deception operation!"
I pulled a small sticker from my pocket. A pre-prepared '0' numeral sticker.
I stuck the '0' before the 20% sale to make it look like 200% off. And added a '0' after the 5,000 won discount to fake it as 50,000 won off!
"What will happen when foolish humans go to checkout? They'll grab it thinking it's cheap, only to be charged a high price? Imagine the confusion! Chaos at the registers for sure! Or maybe fights with the staff over being tricked, kyakakat!"
I admired my handiwork with a wicked grin.
But wait... a doubt popped into my head.
"How much discount is 200%?"
"Master, if 100% off is free, 200% off means they pay you extra."
"Ah, right! Double the original price paid... No, villains can't give people benefits..."
My head got complicated. Math isn't my weakness, but percentages suddenly felt tricky.
"Then, 50,000 won off? This meat is 10,000 won... so they pay 40,000 won extra?"
Crime? Ha! Finally acknowledging this body as a true villain! My chest swelled with pride.
For the fourth villainy, I hurried to the canned goods aisle.
Tuna, corn, peaches... the shiny metal cans were perfectly aligned.
"This body's next villainy is even more wicked! A more intricate and cruel plan!"
I pulled out a cat tuna can I'd secretly grabbed from the pet aisle.
And... slyly mixed it in among the human tuna cans! Positioned so the product name was hidden, only the picture visible!
"This operation is the canned goods disruption ploy! The name alone reeks of utmost villainy! If humans eat pet food... their human dignity crumbles!"
Isn't this a truly nasty prank? Even I was a bit shocked, but for a true villain, this level of wickedness is basic!
The chat exploded.
Terror-filled comments poured in. They have no idea how to handle this body's wickedness!
Next, for more villainy, I headed to the health food aisle.
Diet foods, supplements, fiber, aids... everything looked unappetizing.
Normally, I'd ignore this aisle, but today is different!
"The final villainy is the 'Sweet Temptation' operation! When weak-willed humans pick diet products and spot chocolate nearby, what happens? They succumb to temptation and abandon their diets!"
I quickly grabbed armfuls of chocolate and candy. Then displayed them next to the diet supplements.
"Behold! Low-calorie control food next to milk chocolate—who could resist? Sugar-restriction aids beside sweet candy? Protein bars with chocolate cookies? How wicked!"
While focused on placing the snacks, something shiny on the next shelf caught my eye.
Gold-colored flashy packaging.
Gold ribbon.
Rare chocolate logo.
"That's... limited-edition premium chocolate! Dubai edition!"
I swallowed hard. It's the rare chocolate from yesterday's TV ad!
"Everlin! For this body's villainy, I need an essential tool! That chocolate—one box... no, three boxes into the cart!"
Everlin nodded and added the chocolate to the cart.
But the next shelf had even tastier-looking stuff.
"That too! Crunch chocolate is essential for villainy! And those truffle potato chips! Gelato candy! Can't miss any!"
I went into a trance, stuffing snacks into the cart like mad. Hugging armfuls of chocolates and candies, dumping them into the shopping cart.
"This is essential. That too... and that! This body will hoard all the sweet snacks! That's true villainy!"
"Th-this isn't it! They're evidence for the operation! Evidence! Securing proof of villainy!"
I worked hard on villainy today, so a little reward for myself is fine!
Then Everlin handed me the tablet.
"Master, care to take a look? Viewer count has already broken 5,000."
"5,000!?"
That many people witnessing this body's greatness?
"Not just that. Real-time clips are spreading fast. #CuteVillain #GrimoireVillainy hashtags are trending."
SNS was buzzing with shares of my video clips.
Especially the tomato-moving-to-fruit-aisle scene and the canned goods hiding one were super popular.
My horns felt hot. Something was off, but popularity is popularity!
"This body's minions are growing! The day of world conquest is near!"
"Master's villainy seems to be a huge success."
"Kakak! Of course! This body is the greatest villain in history!"
A smile played on her lips too. Everlin's happy about this body's success!
"Everlin, is the shopping all done?"
"Yes, Master. Dinner and snacks are all prepared."
The cart was loaded with meat, potatoes, onions, curry powder... and mountains of chocolate and snacks.
Thinking of devouring it all made my mouth water.
"Good! Then let's wrap up this body's villainy and head home! Any more, and the world couldn't handle it!"
Once home, Everlin will make delicious curry rice!
That was when it happened.
"Excuse me, miss?"
"Eek!"
I jumped at the voice and turned around.
Slowly turning, a stern-faced man in a black suit was approaching.
He had a supermarket staff badge, but he didn't seem like a regular employee.
"We've been watching all your actions on CCTV."
B-busted!?
What now? Run? But I haven't checked out yet... Does that mean no Dubai chocolate?