Chapter 16
Chapter 16
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 16
Chapter Title: The Villain and the Supermarket
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"Kakak! We've finally arrived! The stage where this great body's magnificent villainy shall unfold!"
A massive supermarket running a 24/7, 365-day discount event—Grand Mart.
While Everlin set up the mobile camera, I peered inside through the glass doors of the supermarket.
A vast space, dazzling lights, and pathetic humans peacefully shopping for groceries. What a perfect place to carry out an evil scheme!
"All that peaceful scenery will soon shatter to pieces! For this great body's villainy begins with destroying everyday life!"
"Master, your viewer count has surpassed 2,000."
"Excellent! Through this villainy, everyone will come to know this great body's true nature! Everlin, commence the operation!"
I strode boldly toward the mart. Stopping in front of the entrance, I issued orders to Everlin.
"Initiate stealth maneuver! This great body will enter first—follow five seconds later!"
"Yes, Master."
I crept stealthily toward the entrance. As the mart doors slid open automatically, I darted inside.
"This great body, the mighty Grimoire, has successfully infiltrated the supermarket undetected!"
"Welcome! This is Grand Mart!"
The employee at the entrance greeted me with a bright smile.
[Infi?ltration?]
[Anyone can just walk into a supermarket lololol]
[Sneaking in while getting greeted lolololol]
[Poor maid]
"Ahem! It's not about turning a blind eye—true disguise lies in concealing one's true intentions! See? The staff don't even suspect this great body's villainy!"
[Whoa... are you really gonna raid it? Go for it!]
[Show us the horns pls show us the horns pls show us the horns pls]
[Grimoire, scourge of the tasting corner o_o]
[Not trying to steal potato chips or something?]
"What? Steal? This great body is a villain, but not a thief! I shall pay with Everlin's black card and then seize it boldly!"
Just then, Everlin wheeled over a large shopping cart.
"Master, how about using this? It gives a more tactical vibe."
A shopping cart? Oh ho, brilliant idea!
Without hesitation, I hopped onto the front of the shopping cart. This should exude plenty of villainous dignity!
"A supermarket is like a supply depot in the fierce wars of modern society!"
Perched atop the cart Everlin was pushing, I proclaimed like a great conqueror.
"I shall fill this supply depot with chaos and plunge the people into despair! Even Sun Tzu's Art of War says to strike the enemy's supply lines first!"
Adding a touch of historical knowledge made my villainy feel even more weighty.
Yes, this great body isn't just any villain—I'm an intellectual one!
Passersby gave me puzzled looks at my words.
"Oh my, what is that kid doing?"
"There's a camera? Is she a YouTuber?"
"Those horn accessories are cute! Do they sell them here at the mart?"
"Grrr! Pathetic beings who cannot comprehend this great body's villainy!"
I sighed at the humans' ignorance. They had no idea how dangerous I was yet.
"But once this supermarket raid is over today, they will realize the true wickedness of the villain Grimoire!"
[What is this...?]
[Supermarket raid? lololol]
[What? Is she actually a real villain?]
[This has to be a concept, right? lolol]
[Horns horns horns!]
[She’s probably up to some cute prank]
"Push the cart, Everlin! Let's find our first villainy target!"
Snack aisle? Or maybe the fish section? No, the frozen foods aisle?
No matter where, nothing can escape my villainy!
Then Everlin pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket.
"What's that?"
"The shopping list for today, Master. Things we need at home."
"What?! We're in the middle of villainy—why go shopping? Focus on the villainy!"
I leaped off the shopping cart in shock.
"Master, villainy is important, but we're almost out of food at home. Especially your favorite potato chips and ice cream."
"Ugh... that's true, but..."
She had a point. Even villains need to eat.
"Besides, combining villainy with housework is more efficient, Master. Also, tonight's dinner is curry rice, but we're short on ingredients. It'll just be carrots at this rate—is that okay?"
"What?! Just carrots?! No way! Curry needs meat and potatoes too!"
Curry rice without meat? That's a crime! Even villains wouldn't stoop that low!
"Very well, I permit the shopping! But villainy comes first! Treat shopping as a side mission!"
[Villain's essential nutrients: meat, potatoes, onions]
[Wait, this a grocery vlog? lolololol]
[Villain daily life vlog, dinner is curry rice tonight]
[Maid seems like the real boss]
The chat was filled with comments barely holding back laughter. Tch, fools who don't grasp my true intentions!
"Now begins the sinister and genius operation! Watch closely, all! Grimoire's villainy has only just begun!"
I roamed the supermarket's wide aisles, pushing the shopping cart. Amid the countless shelves and products, which spot would suit this great body's first official act of villainy?
"Master, how about the ramen aisle?"
Everlin's suggestion perked up my ears.
Ramen... yes! Food beloved by all Koreans! Plunging it into chaos could even impact the national economy!
"Great idea! To the ramen aisle!"
I grabbed the cart and turned.
I soon arrived at the ramen aisle. I scanned the surroundings and stealthily ducked my head, hiding like a secret agent!
[Villainy starting for real?!]
[Ramen mukbang go go go]
[Creeping around in a dress lolol]
[Horns so cute horns so cute]
"Silence! Calling a villain 'cute' is the worst insult!"
I closely examined the ramen shelves. Red packets of Shin Ramyun, yellow packets of Jin Ramen, black packets of Chapagetti... all neatly organized by type.
Hmm... this perfect order displeases me.
"Kakak! A sinister inspiration has struck this great body!"
What caught my eye was a small packet labeled 'Niche Ramen'! Perfect name!
"First villainy commences! I shall hide the Niche Ramen in the shelf gaps!"
I picked up the Niche Ramen packet and slyly wedged it between the ramen and the shelf edge.
"Kakak! Fall into chaos! Now people will have to rummage through gaps to find Niche Ramen! And have you heard of gap phobia? Humans have feared gaps since ancient times!"
[lolololololololololololol]
[Niche Ramen in a niche...? hahahaha]
[CCTV is catching all this...]
"Hmph! They can't comprehend this great body's profound villainy?"
Humans truly are dimwitted. Do I have to spell it out simply?
"What is a gap? It is the boundary between existence and non-existence! The truth of all things hides in the gaps! Between ramen and ramen, between shelves and shelves! Into all those 'in-betweens,' this great body's chaos shall seep! Just like my Gray Matter on the boundary of black and white!"
[Wtf...]
[Philosophy major?]
[Quit the chuuni stuff... you'll regret it...]
Scratch scratch—
What? Who's moving during my majestic speech!
I turned at the sound from behind. A mart employee was quietly approaching and putting my hidden ramen back in place.
"Eek!"
My villainy foiled! And with every viewer in the chat watching!
[Villainy: Annoying mart staff]
[Staff is so nice though. Didn't even get mad lol]
[Mart part-timers hate this stream lolol]
"Hmph! If the first operation is blocked, we move to the second! Everlin, to the vegetable aisle!"
A true villain never gives up! Failure doesn't exist for this great body—it's all just steps to success!
I saw shelves packed with colorful vegetables.
Green broccoli... hate it.
Yellow bell peppers... hate them more!
And... red tomatoes—this is it!
I picked up a tomato and flashed an evil grin. I moved a bit to the fruit section.
"Second villainy! Tomato identity confusion operation!"
I carefully placed the tomato between the apples and pears. Its red hue gleamed sneakily among the apples.
"Fall into chaos! Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? This philosophical question will confound the citizens!"
[Tomato... vegetable...?]
[Tomato identity crisis lol]
[Making more work for mart staff again? True villain...]
[Ok cuz she's cute lol]
[Nooo my mom shops there a lot lololol]
My little chest swelled with pride. Ah, such a profound plan!
"Actually, tomatoes are vegetables by culinary definition but fruits botanically, Master."
Everlin's sudden words froze me. My worldview crumbled in an instant!
[Tomatoes originated from the Andes in South America, called 'devil's fruit' or 'wolf peach' in 16th-century Europe. Rumored poisonous, grown as ornamentals until the 19th century when...]
[Agh, chatting to yourself?]
[Close wikipedia]
[Tomato PhD?]
My mind grew complicated. Tomatoes are fruits? I'd always thought they were vegetables...
"Is a tomato like a double agent? A fruit disguised as a vegetable? Or a pitiful being robbed of its identity?"
My own villainy had confused me instead!
"So tomatoes should've been in the fruit aisle originally? Did this great body return it to its rightful place?"
Was my action not villainy?
"No, that's not the case. Most marts place them in the vegetable aisle for cooking convenience."
Phew... that's a relief.
But if botanically a fruit yet culinarily a vegetable, then it's just like...
"Me too! This great body is a villain but treated like a hero! The tomato's tragedy is my tragedy!!!"
A sense of kinship with the tomato welled up from deep in my chest. The tragedy of beings denied their identity!
Tears nearly welled up, but I held them back to preserve my villainous dignity.
[Smoke coming from Grimoire's head lolol]
[Not smoke, gray glow? Am I the only one seeing it? Power?]
[Serious Grimoire is cute]
"Master, are you alright? No need to think too deeply..."
"Silence! This great body is in the midst of profound philosophical contemplation!"
I pressed my temples with my fingers. I must solve this!
Grimoire, full brainpower!
"Wait! What's the tomato's final evolved form?"
Everlin tilted her head.
"Tomato... pasta?"
"No! Ketchup—ketchup!"
A flash of enlightenment struck.
"Fruit or vegetable doesn't matter! The tomato transcends all identity confusion by evolving into ketchup! No more agonizing over fruit or veggie!"
"A truly astonishing revelation, Master."
"Yes! Same for this great body! No matter the misunderstandings, I just need to transcend it all and dominate the world! Like the tomato!!"
[Gonna transform into ketchup too?]
[Grimoire ketchup hehehe...]
[Logic crushed o_o]
[Ketchup? Not near-ketchup? wtf]
"For today's lesson, let's add ketchup to the curry for dinner! It'll be a world-shaking new flavor!"
[Ketchup in curry...?]
[Committing culinary crimes...]
[Don't say her brain is cherry tomato size nooooo]
[Was there a chat like that???]
[What's the maid's crime]
I triumphantly tossed the ketchup bottle into the cart.
"Kakak! I've solved the tomato conundrum in one go! As expected, this great body is a genius!"