Fall (3)
My whole body itched. For some reason, it didn’t feel like simple withdrawal. A burning heat flared across my skin, and the same strange sensation crawled over my face.
“...Why are my lips so swollen?”
They were puffed up as if someone had bitten them raw. The pain left them tingling, almost numb. Did my face slam straight into the floor while I was blacked out…? No other explanation came to mind.
If I really stretch for another possibility, one person does come up. But Solia wouldn’t do that.
No matter how you sliced it—even if she had knocked me unconscious and taken me against my will—she wouldn’t have sucked and bitten my lips in a crowded infirmary. If it wasn’t her, then the only one left was…
Yeah. Ridiculous.
A blue-haired senior flickered through my mind, but that was impossible. The person who hated me more than anyone would never do something like that. I brushed my throbbing lips and hurried toward the dormitory.
As I walked the hallway, I spotted several academy students lingering nearby.
They were mostly first-years, all of them seemingly enjoying academy life to the fullest.
…They look happy.
The second semester had only just begun, so it made sense. Upperclassmen mostly moved on to advanced coursework, which meant first-years should enjoy themselves and build memories while they still could.
Memories.
Now those memories were regrets too heavy for words. But back then, things really hadn’t been bad. We had laughed and chattered over the smallest nonsense.
“Aren. You… don’t tell me you’ve got another girl you know?!”
Pfft. Remembering how jealous Solia used to get, I let out a small laugh before I could stop myself. It might have been different if I had stayed locked away like a total recluse. But after reuniting with those forgotten connections and crawling to the edge of death, I realized my memories had grown a little sharper.
“Aren, please don’t come near me anymore. We’re nothing to each other now.”
A sharp pang— Of course, the pain had grown right alongside the clarity.
Unpleasant memories stabbed at a corner of my chest for no reason.
…It’s because I haven’t smoked any magic grass.
Useless thoughts had flooded in. I had no energy to spare on anything else. All I needed to do was get back to the dormitory and light up. That was it.
When I finally neared the dormitory after passing through the hallway, a familiar face suddenly stepped into my path.
“…Aren. Stop.”
Fuck.
The last person I ever wanted to see was standing right in front of me. A sigh slipped out on its own.
“Haa. What is it this time?”
She flicked her short black hair and stared straight through me. Her gaze carried both scrutiny and wariness. The protagonist of this world. The Hero. The very embodiment of unfair talent.
It was Teodora.
Teodora still carried herself with that same deliberate air. Her eyes, strangely bright and cheerful, fixed on me with perfect clarity.
“Aren.”
“Get lost. I have nothing to say to you.”
I truly saw zero value in exchanging even a single word with Teodora. Conversation required communication. When one side ignored everything the other said and simply rambled on, it wasn’t dialogue—it was coercion.
As I tried to walk straight past her, a metallic click rang out.
“I told you to stop.”
She blocked my way with her scabbard.
Fuck.
The only improvement over last time was that she hadn’t drawn the blade. Still, the whole thing was fucking miserable.
“Please, just leave me alone. What the hell do you even want? Never mind—forget I asked. Just ignore me.”
If it had been anyone else, maybe. But I knew better than anyone how meaningless that question was when aimed at Teodora.
Yet she acted as if she couldn’t hear me at all and launched into a long-winded explanation.
“Aren, it’s because I want you to reform. That’s what I learned from you. It’s what you taught me.”
Bullshit.
A curse surged up my throat. The urge to vomit every filthy emotion I felt nearly overwhelmed me, but I barely swallowed it down. After all, no matter how much I cursed, Teodora wouldn’t even flinch.
It was frustrating beyond belief.
How does she manage to get under my skin every single time?
If that counted as a talent, then it was one.
The reason I hated Teodora more than anyone else wasn’t complicated. I stared blankly at the scabbard she carried. Ornate yet sturdy, it proudly declared its own presence.
“Teodora. Who got you the sword you’re holding right now?”
She hesitated for a second, then answered.
“……You did, Aren.”
“Then who taught you the basics of swordsmanship, introduced you to a sword master, and obtained the previous Hero’s sword technique we excavated from ancient ruins?”
“Wait, Aren……”
Teodora tried to cut me off, but my tongue refused to stop.
“And who was the one who approached you first when you were being ostracized at the entrance ceremony and became your friend? Hm?”
“I really am grateful for that, every single time I—”
“Then after receiving all of that support, who was the one who kept their mouth shut, pointed a sword at their friend, and humiliated them…?”
I stared directly into her eyes.
“…………”
Teodora looked away without a word. Her lips moved like she had plenty to say, but nothing came out.
I felt a strange sense of accomplishment at having silenced her, but a far uglier emotion gnawed at me. This wasn’t really about Teodora. It was self-loathing—pure and simple. I had given and given like a fool, yet I had never earned even a shred of her trust.
What more could I have possibly done? Should I have revealed even more future information? Should I have handed over more opportunities and elixirs?
Doesn’t matter anymore.
Back when I had just entered the academy, my kindness toward Teodora hadn’t come only from knowing she was the protagonist of the game.
“Teodora, I genuinely thought of you as a friend.”
She was frustrating and stubborn, sure, but she had solid convictions. She possessed an unbelievable degree of genuine goodness. Her willingness to work twice as hard as anyone else and her sheer tenacity had been admirable.
“That’s why I helped you the way I did. I’m sure you were grateful at first.”
It was the kind of luck most people never encounter in a lifetime. An incredibly good opportunity.
“But I never realized it would turn into poison instead.”
Teodora had achieved the growth she was supposed to earn the hard way far too easily—without hardship, without trials, without sacrifice. And that had become a fatal toxin for her.
“At some point you started acting like receiving things from me was only natural.”
You stopped feeling thankful. You stopped feeling grateful. You had simply grown too used to taking.
This had started long before I truly fell into ruin.
“Teodora, you probably think I hate you because of ‘that moment,’ but you’re wrong. The reason I hate you is simple. You’re a disgustingly selfish bitch.”
The more I spoke, the more emotion leaked into my voice. I knew these words would only leave more lingering regret, but I couldn’t stop.
“And do you have any idea how fucking annoying it is when you preach about justice and righteousness and all that crap? If you’re going to lecture someone, start by looking in a mirror. Got it? You fucking bitch.”
Haa. Haa. Speaking so much at once with this exhausted body was taxing, but pouring out everything that had been bottled up inside left me with a strange sense of relief.
“…………”
Teodora wore a dazed expression. The cheer in her eyes had grown dull and cloudy. The bright atmosphere around her slowly darkened.
Maybe I went too far.
In truth, the memories from the dream had made me pour far more emotion onto her than necessary. If this helped her understand even a fraction of how I felt, that would be enough.
“Move.”
I tried to walk past her toward the dormitory. That was when—
Crunch.
At the sound of something being gripped with terrifying force, I turned my head.
“……?”
Teodora’s scabbard trembled as if it might shatter. Cracks were literally forming across its surface in real time. That was how tightly she was clenching her fist.
She must have been furious. But even so, she wouldn’t curse at me or raise her hand. During the day the Saintess had pushed her and drawn a blade, but right now she had no justification to use force.
At most she’ll just yell.
Whatever the case, Teodora was the Hero. She had a fundamentally good nature. She would either let my words wash over her or reflect on them and grow from the experience.
“…Aren. You’re right.”
Her tightly sealed lips finally opened.
I had no desire to listen to anything else she had to say, so I quickened my pace. In the next instant—
Whoosh—
With no time to even register the movement, Teodora was suddenly right in front of me.
“Just like you said, I’m a selfish bitch who only ever took from you.”
Thud—
She slammed me down onto the ground.
“Ugh…”
A fierce pain exploded through the back of my head. What the hell was happening?
Thump—
Before I knew it, Teodora had climbed on top of me. A strange, eerie smile played on her lips as she placed her hand on my chest.
“Then there’s no problem if I do whatever I want with you right now… is there?”
“Wh-what the hell are you doing…!”
I never imagined Teodora, of all people, would act this absurdly. I tried to shove her off immediately, but—
Squeeze—
Her legs wrapped around me like iron bands, pinning me completely in place.
“Aren, why are you acting like this…? You gave me everything. If you’re going to give, shouldn’t you give me all of it…?”