The Fall (2)
My mind plummeted into a place impossibly far away. I fell deeper and deeper, so far that I couldn’t even tell where the bottom might be. At this point, I wasn’t sure if I was truly falling or rising instead. If I kept going like this, maybe I’d shoot straight into the Earth’s core. Right as those pointless thoughts drifted through my head—
“…Aren.”
A familiar voice, my former fiancée’s, drifted in from the right. Before I knew it, a slender wrist had wrapped around my arm.
“Aren, what are you doing?”
From the left came the voice of the senior who had once condemned me so viciously. A similarly slender but firm, muscle-toned arm gripped my other wrist. What the hell kind of nightmare was this? It might have been a dream others would beg for, but for me it was pure torment.
“Why won’t you disappear…?”
I thrashed my body violently, trying to shake them off. No matter how hard I twisted or struggled, they wouldn’t let go. Solia held me with an unknown surge of magical power, while Isilla kept her grip through raw physical strength alone.
“Why now, of all times… Fuck, why!”
Why did they only reach out after I had finally let go of every lingering attachment and tried to walk away? I knew this wasn’t real. It was obviously a twisted mess of memories and emotions I’d rather forget. Still, even in a nightmare like this, I wanted to ask.
“Why didn’t you believe me…? Even if you couldn’t trust me, was I really that terrible?”
Whatever karmic debt my body carried, the present was what mattered. I had truly given them everything.
“I saved your lives with elixirs, opportunities, everything I had. What more did you want from me…? Huh?”
I wasn’t asking them to forgive me just because I’d provided material support. I had only wanted them to believe in me. Even empty comfort or a comforting lie would have been enough. The hatred and sorrow I had suppressed finally exploded.
“You were all I had… so why…?”
Reputation and honor had never mattered to me. The only things that ever did were the friends and family around me. The strange part was that neither of them pulled away, nor did they argue. They simply stared at me with oddly sorrowful eyes. Their faces were painfully, uselessly clear.
“Stop looking at me like that…! Get away, get the hell away from me!”
It was a truly disgusting, repulsive dream. If this was what waited in my sleep, I needed to wake up immediately. I didn’t want to stay here any longer. I wanted to return to that small, cozy room. That peaceful room.
Right then, Iria drifted down slowly through the air and reached out to me.
“Brother, why are you so resentful…? You brought all of this on yourself.”
“No, that wasn’t me. That was Aren—the old Aren—who did those things…!”
That’s right. Everything had been the previous ‘Aren’s’ fault. I had done nothing wrong. I carried no sin. Yet even as I protested, Iria approached with a pitying look and stroked my face. Her gaze overflowed with profound sympathy.
“Then who are you?”
“What…?”
“You stole Aren’s face, Aren’s body, even Aren’s status and identity. And now you’re saying the things Aren did have nothing to do with you… Isn’t that it?”
“That’s…!”
I hadn’t chosen this. Some bastard had thrown me into this world.
“No matter the process, the result is something you chose. It feels unfair, doesn’t it? Like you’re the tragic protagonist of some terrible story…? Not at all. You’re nothing but a bug hiding in the corner, blaming everyone else for your problems.”
No. That wasn’t true. I didn’t want to hear it. The urge to dig out my own ears and tear my eardrums apart surged through me.
From the right, Solia’s excited voice floated over.
“Aren, even after you woke up back then, why did you pretend not to notice? It actually felt good, didn’t it…? Right?”
From the left, Isilla tightened her hold.
“You say you hate it, but you really wanted to stay at the academy, didn’t you? If you had just walked out, they would have expelled you anyway. So why did you insist on submitting a ‘voluntary withdrawal form’? Hm? You actually…”
The three voices overlapped into one.
“You wanted us to hold you back, didn’t you?”
“No…!!”
Countless other figures of old friends flew in, tormenting me. There was no other way to describe it. This place was hell itself.
My vision suddenly brightened. Dizziness and a splitting headache crashed over me at the same time.
“No…!!”
“Aren, are you okay…?”
Familiar ash-gray hair tickled my face. It was Solia.
“Haa… haa… Where… where am I?”
“The infirmary. Aren, are you really alright? When they said you suddenly collapsed, I was so scared…”
“The infirmary…?”
I looked around and saw several other injured students. Once I realized where I was, I frantically touched my neck.
No pain. That healing was too fast for ordinary magic. Did Senior… not kill me after all?
The sensation of my throat being ‘slit’ had been vivid, yet strangely there was no wound. I didn’t know whether to call that fortunate or unfortunate. Right now, more than wanting to die again immediately, I simply didn’t want to fall asleep.
A shiver ran through me. Withdrawal symptoms crawled across my skin. Instinctively, I craved magic grass. Ignoring Solia beside me, I tried to get up from the bed.
“A-Aren…! You just woke up. It’s not good to move right away.”
She grabbed my arm, trying to stop me. A chill shot down my spine. The Solia from my dream flashed through my mind, and I unconsciously shoved her away. As a mage with weak physical strength, she immediately stumbled and fell.
“Ugh… A-Aren…?”
Sprawled on the floor, Solia stared at me in disbelief. Her expression twisted something uncomfortably in my chest, but I couldn’t let her touch me. I just couldn’t.
“…Don’t put your hands on me.”
“W-what are you saying? We’re engaged…”
Her absurd words drew a hollow laugh from me. When did she think that was still true?
“We broke the engagement over a year ago. We’re strangers now.”
Leaving the fallen Solia behind, I forced my unsteady body upright. As I staggered toward the infirmary door, her desperate cry followed me.
“A-Aren! W-wait…! Please wait…!”
“Solia, what conversation could I possibly have with someone who restrains and knocks people out as she pleases? I have nothing more to say to you, so don’t come looking for me again. If you do come after me once more…”
What would make her stay away? What would ensure she could never find me again? If I was going to do this, I might as well use the example she would hate and find most repulsive. In an emotionless voice, I said:
“I’ll rape you.”
“H-huh…?”
Solia’s face flooded with confusion. Ignoring her reaction, I continued calmly.
“I’ll brutally rape you, violate you, tear you apart, trample you. I’ll treat you like a street whore instead of a noble lady, humiliate you in every possible way, and thoroughly destroy you until you’re dyed in my colors. How about it? Starting to feel the seriousness now?”
“Uh… uh…? Y-yes…”
Trembling, Solia’s face—and even her ears—burned bright red with what looked like uncontainable rage. The way she hung her head suggested she was deeply ashamed. I knew my words had been excessively harsh, but it was the only way to make sure she would never approach me again. With that, I left the infirmary. I needed to find magic grass as quickly as possible.
***
“Tsk, that damn scoundrel…! Solia, are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”
“Senior Solia. Are you alright?”
“Here, take this handkerchief. It’s okay, shh.”
The moment Aren left the infirmary, nearby students rushed over to comfort Solia. It wasn’t simply because she looked pitiful. They were trying to get closer to her, to create some connection. Solia was a rather famous genius within the academy. Her overwhelming mana control and exceptional learning ability earned her the title of the living embodiment of a grand mage. Her beauty drew eyes wherever she went, and although she had grown a bit colder than before, her generous and kind personality remained. All of this combined to make her incredibly popular in her department.
Some nobles aimed to fill the vacancy left by Aren using their family backgrounds, while commoners desperately tried to win her favor just in case. Even while receiving the worried attention of so many students, Solia could not lift her head.
I can’t show my face…
She absolutely could not let anyone see her expression right now. It wasn’t because she felt embarrassed or angry. The corners of her mouth kept rising uncontrollably. The way she was drooling from excitement—she could never, ever let them see that.
…Everyone, please stop paying attention to me.
Solia kept her head bowed as if troubled. The longer she refused to look up, the more the misunderstanding around her grew. Everyone present believed she was suffering from the emotional wound Aren had inflicted on her.
“Aren, that damn scoundrel…! Even if the engagement was broken, how could he throw his former fiancée to the floor like that…? That bastard isn’t even human!”
“Senior, just forget about trash like him and meet someone better. They say good connections are usually close by, right?”
“Solia. Don’t listen to what those boys say. Really, you should stay away from bad men. You even broke off an engagement—aren’t you being too naive?”
No, that’s not it. I…
Solia wanted to say something to those who were badmouthing Aren, but she still couldn’t control her emotions. In the end, she could only keep her head lowered.