Even at the Cost of My Life #8
“Kyaaaaaah……!”
It must have been another nightmare.
He would have to soothe her.
The moment he heard the scream, Emil knew.
That was unexpected.
It hadn’t been long since he had cleansed Leni’s curse. He had thought there would still be plenty of time before demonic energy could accumulate again.
This was troublesome.
With that thought, Emil ran.
“Ugh……!”
But at the sight before him, Emil lost all words.
The girl’s clothes were torn to shreds,
and crimson droplets of blood dripped steadily down her pure-white chest.
And Leni was clawing at her own chest, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Princess!”
At Emil’s shout, Roen burst forward.
She was probably trying to stop Leni’s actions.
“Do not go near her! Do you wish to die?!”
Emil shouted without thinking.
Roen immediately understood and stepped back.
With Leni’s mental state so unstable, there was no telling how the curse might react if she was provoked.
“Princess……!”
The moment Emil seized Leni’s hand, he felt a terrifying strength in her grip.
She had clawed at her chest so fiercely that her nails had broken.
Perhaps that was fortunate.
“It’s alright, Princess. Please don’t cry!”
Emil reflexively pulled her into his arms.
Like comforting a crying child,
he held her tightly so she could feel safe.
“Hic… Priest… because of me… everyone……!”
“No, Princess. It’s alright!”
Seeing Leni sob like that made something tighten in his chest.
This young child, who already struggled just to live thinking only of herself… how heavily must the countless lives that had died cursing her weigh on her small shoulders?
How tightly must they have been strangling this slender neck?
“I am right here, Princess.”
“Hic… hic……”
This wouldn’t do.
Her cries made his chest feel tight and heavy.
Damn it. The more personal feelings crept into his work, the more he stood to lose…….
“I am here.”
He had thought about it many times.
In the worst-case scenario.
If a situation ever came where he had to choose between saving only one life—his or Leni’s—Emil would choose his own without hesitation.
That was obvious.
What use would mountains of gold or sky-high fame be if he lost his own life in the process?
What meaning could a world without him possibly have?
No matter how many other lives he placed on the opposite side of the scale, to Emil, his own life had always weighed the most.
“Hic… Priest Emil……”
“It’s alright.”
Yet now that scale was beginning to waver.
This wouldn’t do. Truly…….
“Does it hurt, Princess?”
Emil had asked Roen to wait outside for a while because of the risk of the curse.
But the real reason was to perform the treatment.
With careful movements, Emil removed Leni’s torn upper garment.
“Hngh……!”
Leni let out a faint moan.
“Does it hurt? I’m sorry. I’ll heal it right away, so please bear with me just a little longer.”
Feeling apologetic, Emil looked at Leni’s pure-white chest.
Between her modestly budding breasts, wounds torn in every direction were revealed.
“No… it doesn’t hurt……”
Even as Leni said that,
her face had turned red as if it truly did hurt.
“I-I’m just… a little embarrassed……”
“Pardon?”
“It’s nothing……”
Leni mumbled something and then fell silent.
Since he could guess the source of her pain, Emil quickly began the treatment.
First, he bit the tip of his finger to draw blood.
Then he let the blood fall drop by drop onto her wounds.
“……Ngh!”
Leni writhed.
Normally he would have had to drain demonic energy to treat the curse, but what Emil was doing now was the complete opposite.
Through Pidea, he was drawing out demonic energy and injecting it into Leni through his blood.
Pidea had said that demonic energy contained the power of recovery. Because demons were the beings furthest from death, those who carried their power—the demonic energy—would also grow distant from death.
‘I don’t really get it. Why would the being furthest from death be a demon? Shouldn’t it be a god?’
"Foolish Emil. Saying foolish things again. A god is the being closest to death. Death is the most absolute phenomenon in the world, and a god is the most absolute being in the world."
He had no desire to debate theology, so Emil quietly accepted her words.
As expected, simply pouring Pidea’s demonic energy into the wounds made them slowly begin to heal.
“Just endure it a little longer, Princess.”
Emil slowly wet his fingertips with blood and traced her chest, infusing the demonic energy.
Blood was a convenient medium for transferring demonic energy.
“Mmm……!”
Leni covered her face with her hands and turned her head away.
Perhaps she didn’t want to show him her suffering.
“……Pidea.”
[Hm?]
While continuing to infuse the demonic energy, Emil moved his lips to speak to Pidea.
“Earlier you asked, didn’t you? Why we couldn’t just use the princess’s curse to escape this place.”
[That’s right. Why do you ask?]
“Now do you understand why I won’t do that?”
[Not really.]
Pidea answered as if she truly didn’t understand.
Of course she wouldn’t.
Being a demon, she knew nothing of guilt.
“Pidea, for example… if I said I wanted to kill a random stranger for no reason at all, what would you think?”
[Kill a person? Well, if you kill them, you kill them.]
“Then what about a hundred? A thousand?”
[A thousand… that probably wouldn’t be good, right?]
“Why?”
[It’s dangerous. One person might be fine, but a hundred or a thousand… you wouldn’t be able to hide it. Ah, unless you had some other plan in mind.]
Emil nodded at her answer.
Yes. That was exactly how Pidea would respond.
And if he asked himself the same question, he would have given the exact same answer.
“……I see.”
Emil turned his head to look at Leni.
Every time his hand touched her chest, she flinched and trembled.
It shouldn’t hurt anymore…….
“Princess? Does it still hurt?”
“No… it’s fine now.”
“Good. Then……”
Finally, he wiped her chest with a cloth soaked generously in holy water.
Although he had used demonic energy for the treatment, it would be problematic if it accumulated anywhere other than her ankle.
“Hngh……!”
“Does it hurt?”
“Nngh… no, not really……”
While he wiped her chest, Leni kept trembling. Then she bit her lip tightly and spoke.
“Priest… um… I’m ready now.”
Ready for what?
Leni’s face had turned bright red.
She must have been very nervous.
“Ready for what, Princess? We’re finished now.”
“Huh……?”
But Leni blinked and asked again.
“Um… after washing with holy water… aren’t you supposed to… suck it out with your mouth?”
“Your chest? Of course not. If anyone saw that, it would cause a huge misunderstanding. The curse originates from your ankle, so we only need to do that to your ankle.”
Leni made a sound like a hiccup, waved her hands, and nodded vigorously.
“Ugh… I see! Yes, of course. Got it.”
“Still, we’ll need something to cover you with.”
First, Emil brought a blanket and covered Leni with it. No matter how young she was, leaving her chest exposed like that felt wrong.
Leni quickly snatched the blanket and covered her chest. Then she hesitated and gently ran her hand over it.
Was she checking the sensation of the injured area?
“Ugh, it looks so unsightly……”
“Pardon?”
“……It’s nothing.”
She seemed to mumble something again, but he couldn’t quite hear it.
Leni looked like she was glaring at him.
Emil smiled and turned away.
“Then I’ll go get more holy water. There isn’t enough to soak your leg……”
Just as Emil was about to leave the room,
he suddenly turned back and asked Leni.
“Um, Princess. May I ask you one question?”
“A question? If it’s something I can answer……”
Leni nodded in a daze.
“Then… if I said I wanted to kill a random stranger for no reason at all, what would you think?”
“Kill someone……?”
“Ah, it’s only a hypothetical question.”
At those words, Leni’s face darkened, but she soon thought carefully and answered.
“It would be… very sad.”
“Sad? Why?”
Leni carefully chose her words before speaking slowly.
“Well… Priest, if you said you were going to kill someone, there must be a reason, right? Killing people is wrong, but… if you have to do it anyway……”
Leni quietly nodded.
“But even then, Priest would keep suffering because of it. That would be too sad.”
“……I see.”
Suffering. Emil had never once felt pain in his heart over murder.
Not because he would die if he didn’t kill,
nor for any such reason.
He had killed countless people solely for his own wealth and glory, and if he had to do the same in this world, he would do so without hesitation.
Just as he had with Leni’s kidnappers.
“Pidea.”
[Hm?]
“If you told this girl to kill someone, how do you think she would react?”
[Well… she probably couldn’t do it, right?]
Having said that, Pidea suddenly clapped her hands as if she had realized something.
[Ah… I see. If she can’t open the curse at the critical moment, it’s useless… Right. With this girl’s kind heart, it would be hard to use the curse as a weapon. I understand now.]
“‘I understand’… Yes. Of course you would.”
Pidea understood.
But she would never truly be able to.
Even if a human wore the skin of an ant and spoke with ants, they could never truly empathize with an ant’s joy and sorrow over a single drop of sugar water.
They could only understand.
She understood humans.