The One Who Would Save Me Even at the Cost of Their Life #7
I will protect Leni. Just focus on that.
Emil had made that firm resolution, but it didn’t change much in the end.
The conclusion he eventually reached was to watch the situation and somehow escape from Iredain.
So for now, all he could do was wait.
Emil… Emil, Emil.
Emil, who had been tossing in his sleep, opened his eyes at the whispering voice.
He frowned at the sensation he felt against his chest.
“…What is it, Pidea?”
Ah, you’re awake.
When Emil lifted only his head while still lying down, Pidea’s face was right in front of him.
She was using his body as a bed, nestled snugly against him.
“Then of course I’d wake up… since you called me.”
Sorry.
Pidea flashed a mischievous smile.
She couldn’t lie on the bed herself, so she occasionally slept like this, using Emil as her pillow. Physical contact was possible with him, after all.
“Why are you calling someone’s name in the middle of the night?”
Emil soon shook his head.
“No, it’s not even my real name anyway…”
Name… You still can’t remember it?
He tried once more to recall that name.
My name is… my name is…
But nothing came to him.
He remembered everything from the past.
The acrid soot and the pungent smell of cigarettes. The sound of a car slamming into a wall, the echoing gunshots. The towering city above and the nauseating life at its bottom.
Yet the name alone refused to surface.
“Names don’t matter. A name can change as many times as you want. It doesn’t define who I am.”
Is that so… Hmm.
Pidea wore an unreadable smile.
Then, still lying on top of him, she rubbed her cheek against his chest.
It looked exactly like a cat acting spoiled.
“…What are you doing?”
Just because I like it.
“Good grief. Is this a love confession now?”
Love? Well… I’m not sure. Since I’m wearing humanity right now, maybe that’s what this is.
Pidea asked with genuine curiosity.
But what is love, Emil?
“You’re asking me? Pick something easier to answer.”
Emil snorted.
“Still, it’s a funny thing to hear. You call yourself a demon, yet you can’t understand mere humans?”
Pidea replied with a displeased expression.
Hmph. Then how much do you actually know about the ants inside an anthill?
She moved her finger across her hand, mimicking the movement of ants.
Think about it. You’re a far superior being compared to ants. If you wanted, you could crush them into pieces. But if you truly want to understand ants, you can’t do that. You have to observe them at their own eye level. That’s why I’m in this world wearing a human body, and why I can’t grasp the intentions of these insignificant humans.
“Ants, huh…”
Emil scratched his head awkwardly.
She was probably right.
To this demon girl, humans were likely no different from how humans viewed ants.
Interesting subjects worth observing, but ultimately nothing more than trivial creatures.
Pidea stared at his face for a long moment before flashing another playful smile.
Emil, then how about this.
She leaned in close from above him, as if she might kiss him.
How about it? Do I look like a girl in love?
Emil quietly gazed into her eyes.
He had dated countless lovers and seduced even more women, yet he had never been good at distinguishing lust from love.
Did the distinction even have meaning?
If you loved someone, wouldn’t you want to kiss them and intertwine your bodies? Then was that love?
“I don’t know.”
At his answer, Pidea cupped his cheek and kissed him.
It was dark, but he could tell her cheeks had flushed red.
…Hup. Emil. What about now?
He had kissed many women before,
but a demon’s lips didn’t feel particularly different.
They weren’t cold, nor were they sweetly intoxicating enough to steal his soul.
They were simply the lips of an ordinary girl.
And likewise, he still couldn’t tell whether this was love or not.
“As I always say… I don’t know what love is, Pidea. If I did, I might have become a slightly better man.”
…
Pidea said nothing and kissed him again.
“You said you took a physical body because you wanted to understand humans.”
Mm…
Emil shook his head.
“Then I can teach you about humanity’s terrible selfishness, its complex duality, its pursuit of pleasure and beauty, and many other things. But if what you want to learn is love… that alone I cannot teach you. Because I don’t know it myself.”
She kissed him once more.
Mm…
This kiss lasted quite a while.
So Emil was the one who pulled away first.
Ah…
She let out a small sound of disappointment.
“Did you wake a sleeping person just because you wanted to kiss? In that case, I’ll go back to sleep.”
Wake you? That wasn’t my intention.
“You called my name. What was that about?”
The name, huh… It just feels comforting somehow.
Pidea buried her face in his chest again as she spoke.
Emil. Emil. Yes, Emil. When I call that name, you answer me. That’s truly amazing. At least to me.
Emil couldn’t understand those words.
After all, he wouldn’t go so far as to learn the language of ants, wear an ant’s disguise, and try to befriend them just to understand them. And he wouldn’t understand anyone who did.
So he didn’t particularly feel the need to.
By the way, Emil. I have a question.
“…I’m trying to sleep here.”
Come on, don’t be like that. It’s about Princess Leni.
Leni.
At that name, all sorts of thoughts rose in Emil’s mind.
That small girl.
A wounded girl, yet one who could still find joy in the sea and snowflakes.
At the same time, she was the stepping stone to his wealth and glory—Emil was trying hard to see her as nothing more than that.
Since I can control Leni’s curse, I’ll be able to enjoy wealth and glory by her side for the rest of my life. Moreover, considering the achievement of saving the princess’s life, I could receive an immense fortune. After all, Rosdea is the richest nation on this continent.
“What about Leni?”
It’s about what that knight named Neil said last time. He told you that running straight to the capital Myrdin would be the best option.
“Right.”
But if we did that, we don’t know how Alon Ricgard—who would be branded a traitor—might react. So we’re watching how things develop before taking Leni somewhere safe.
“Exactly.”
Emil nodded.
On the night he had taken Leni away, even though he had desperately ridden while feeding the horse his own blood, Alon had caught up almost immediately.
“We were tracked over that short distance right away. It’s safe to assume we’re under constant surveillance. Considering the distance to Myrdin, it’s nearly impossible. And even if it were possible, his men could be lying in wait along the way… It’s far too dangerous.”
But what’s so dangerous about it?
Pidea asked, puzzled.
Emil opened one eye.
“What do you mean?”
There’s the princess’s curse. Can’t you use that? It’s quite a powerful weapon. I know because I’m a demon. The moment the curse is unleashed, it can inflict a terrible self-destructive impulse on every target in sight, demanding the voluntary erasure of their own existence.
Powerful weapon.
That choice of words revealed exactly how Pidea viewed the curse.
It was hardly surprising.
To a demon like her, curses were everyday objects—tools that could be used whenever she pleased.
“Pidea, that’s…”
At that moment,
a scream rang out.
“…!”
Emil bolted upright in bed.
He had risen almost the instant the sound reached him.
Leni… No way. It’s only been a few days since the demonic energy was purified.
Emil immediately reached under the bed to grab his clothes.
Right then, someone threw the door open.
“Excuse me…!”
The person who burst in was a woman with red hair.
It was Roen, who had recently become Leni’s escort knight.
“Ah…”
She seemed startled by the sight of Emil half-naked; her usual expressionless face wavered for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and shouted.
“Priest Emil. The princess…!”
Leni was having that old dream again.
The dream of that day. The birthday dream.
Countless people had greeted her.
She didn’t know if they all truly liked her, but at least they were all smiling. Back then, that alone had been enough to make her happy.
But that day, her stomach had felt especially unwell.
It felt like it would turn over at any moment, yet no vomit would come.
And the moment Leni collapsed to the floor and tried to expel what was inside her, what emerged from her mouth was not vomit but a pitch-black mass of curse.
Everyone gathered in the grand hall witnessed it.
They approached Leni as if possessed, stared at her face, spat out words of curse, and died.
Some endlessly stabbed their own throats with the dinner knives.
Others gouged out their own eyes with their fingers, endlessly digging inside the sockets before collapsing dead.
Some tore madly at their necks and severed their own carotid arteries with their bare hands.
It was always the same scene.
“…Princess.”
But this dream was different somehow.
The ones standing before her were… her sister Alena and Emil.
“Ah… No…!”
Leni tried to turn and run, but her legs wouldn’t move, as if trapped in thick mud.
Alena and Emil had seen the demonic energy.
It’s because of you.
They drew knives first and began mutilating their own bodies.
Their torn abdomens spilled out intestines.
“Ah… Aaaaah! No! Sister, Priest Emil! Please stop! Please…!”
Leni’s voice didn’t reach them.
Next they began tearing at their own faces.
“Ah… Aaaah! Sister… Priest Emil… Please!”
They mutilated their entire bodies in unbearable agony, all while endlessly pouring out words of the curse from their mouths.
It's because of you.
If only the princess didn't exist.
We could have been happy.
Nothing would have happened.
You killed me, Leni.
You killed me!
Even if she closed her eyes or covered her ears,
the scene and the voices refused to leave.
“――!”
She finally woke from the dream.
Yet Leni was still screaming.
Because the voices still echoed in her ears.
It’s because of you! It’s because of you! It’s because of you…!
“Aaa… Uuugh!”
Leni cried out like a madwoman.
“I’m sorry… Hic. Sister, Priest Emil…! Aaa…! Please, please…!”
Leni clawed at her own chest with her nails.
Even as her delicate skin tore and red blood welled up and flowed, the voices in her ears showed no sign of stopping.
If only you didn’t exist!
The physical pain of her skin being ripped was nothing compared to the torment of those voices. Inside her head, thousands upon thousands of times, Alena and Emil died while hurling curses at her.
“Hic…! Aaaaah!”
“—Princess!”
From far away, she heard Emil’s voice.
But Emil was dying…
Someone was approaching her.
It was a woman with red hair.
Then Emil shouted furiously.
“Stay back! Do you want to die?!”
The red-haired woman retreated.
“Ah, aaaaah…!”
Soon Emil reached her and seized her bloodstained hands.
“Damn it, the demonic energy is already…”
Leni didn’t know what she should say.
I’m sorry I made you die.
It’s because of me.
If only I didn’t exist…
“Hic… Priest Emil…!”
“It’s alright. Don’t cry, Princess. Please don’t cry!”
Emil pulled her into his arms.
“Ah…!”
“It’s alright, Princess. Calm down.”
It’s because of you!
“Hic, Priest… Because of me, everyone…!”
“No. It’s not like that, Princess. It’s alright!”
Because of you…
“It’s not the princess’s fault. You’ve done nothing wrong! So please stop crying.”
The voices in her ears were gradually overwritten by Emil’s voice.
“Sister too… Priest too…”
“I’m right here, Princess.”
Emil held her tightly.
In that instant, she felt as if the sweet scent of cyclamen filled her chest.
Then everything felt like it would be okay.
Emil would solve every misfortune and fear that plagued her.
That belief rose warmly from within her heart.