The One Who Would Give Their Life to Save Me #2
“……That’s quite an interesting thing to say.”
Emil, who had choked on his ale, took a moment to steady himself before answering.
Roen tilted her head at that.
“Was what I said amusing? That’s the first time I’ve heard such a thing. My brother always says I’m someone who knows nothing of fun or jokes.”
“Well, Sir Neil does seem excessively fond of fun and jokes.”
The innkeeper soon returned with the meal and set it before Emil. It was a hearty meat stew and a roasted pig’s hind leg.
“A guest? We’ve no empty rooms.”
“Oh, I don’t intend to stay the night. Just bring me some ale as well, if you would.”
Roen drew a few coins from her pocket and offered them.
The innkeeper nodded and retreated once more to the kitchen.
“Mmm……”
The perfectly roasted hind leg was truly delicious.
No—exceptionally so.
It was far simpler than the castle meals he had shared with Leni, with far fewer spices, yet the onions cooked alongside it did a masterful job of neutralizing the meat’s gaminess.
Emil tore into the pig’s hind leg in silence.
He felt a slight curiosity toward Roen, but right now he had no desire to speak with anyone.
“……”
Yet Roen once again fixed him with a stare so intent it bordered on burdensome.
It was impossible to simply ignore, so he set the hind leg down and spoke.
“Excuse me. Is something the matter?”
“Pardon?”
Roen asked back as though she genuinely didn’t understand.
Emil answered awkwardly.
“You’ve been staring at me for some time now.”
“Ah…… I’ve made you uncomfortable. I apologize. I tried my best not to be a nuisance.”
“No, it’s not a nuisance. But since you kept looking my way, I wondered if you had something you wished to say.”
“It isn’t that. It’s simply that, as I mentioned earlier, the priest is extraordinarily handsome, so my gaze was drawn to you without my realizing it.”
What in the world is this woman?
Her demeanor was so utterly serious that he almost suspected she was joking.
Emil asked, half-dumbfounded.
“You think I’m handsome?”
“Yes. Extremely so.”
Roen nodded with complete sincerity.
It was so earnest it left him flustered.
Of course, Emil’s face was not unattractive. Still, compared to the one he had possessed in his previous life, these features were a little finer, the impression a touch softer. Yet even setting personal taste aside, it was hardly the sort of appearance that warranted open praise from a woman he had only just met.
“Um, Roen. Or should I say Dame Roen?”
“Please, just Roen is fine.”
Dame was the proper address for a female knight, but since there were so few, the title was rarely used.
“Very well, Roen. Have we met before?”
“No. I don’t believe so. If I had ever seen you even once, I could never have forgotten a face like that.”
Now a hollow laugh escaped him.
So this face was apparently quite handsome? He had never received such treatment in his previous life.
“I don’t consider myself to possess any exceptional looks.”
“Is that so? It seems the priest’s eyes are not very good. Ah, forgive my rudeness.”
Roen immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.
Every word she uttered was so bluntly honest that Emil briefly wondered whether she was trying to seduce him. Still, it felt rude to remain silent in the face of such open goodwill.
After a moment’s hesitation, he spoke.
“……Roen, what sort of person is Sir Neil?”
Why had that been the question that came out?
“My brother? He’s a hopeless man. He loves women, loves to play, and there isn’t a shred of seriousness to be found in him.”
“Goodness, that sounds exactly like me.”
Indeed, he felt a strange kinship with that talkative knight.
Roen looked at him in surprise.
“You, Priest? I don’t know you well, but you don’t seem that way at all.”
“People have many sides.”
Emil shrugged.
Roen thought for a moment, then said, “True. My brother isn’t only bad. In terms of pure strength, he is among Rosdea’s finest knights, and his loyalty to Her Highness the princess is beyond question.”
“By princess…… you mean Princess Alena.”
“Yes. She is Queen Alena now.”
Roen nodded.
“In any case, I once asked him about it, because I found it curious. Why was my brother—who is never serious about anything—utterly sincere in his loyalty to Princess Alena?”
“And what did he say?”
Before he realized it, Emil was listening with genuine interest. For some reason, the answer felt important.
“He told me that serving her made him realize he could become a man of greater value. That was why he offered her his loyalty.”
The words struck Emil like a blow to the skull.
In that instant, he understood why he felt such kinship with Neil Bloodfire.
“A man of value……”
Emil muttered the phrase like an idiot.
Then he rose abruptly from the table.
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry. Something urgent has come to mind. Please tell the innkeeper the food was excellent.”
Roen nodded in bewilderment.
Emil left her behind and stepped outside.
Then he ran.
For a moment it felt as though every person on the street was staring at him. Strangely, he couldn’t bear to lift his face.
He ran for a long time. Only when he reached the grounds of Iredain Castle did he finally stop to catch his breath.
“……Ah, Pidea. It seems you were right after all.”
Emil laughed bitterly.
“I feel filthy right now. I tried to figure out why, and it seems it really was because of that princess, just as you said.”
“Leni was a pitiful child. Because she was a bastard, she was shut away in a corner of Iredain with no room to breathe. On top of that, the curse meant she never received anyone’s kindness.”
The words spilled out in a torrent.
Emil expected Pidea to mock him, to ask what nonsense he was spouting.
But the ancient demon remained strangely quiet, listening in silence.
“So while I cared for her…… I thought she was growing brighter and learning to smile again thanks to me. But the truth was the complete opposite.”
Watching Leni’s face light up at his words,
watching her eyes sparkle at the sight of falling snow,
Emil had smiled.
“Leni was the one who made me smile. Leni was the one who made me bright. The selfish me—who didn’t know how to treat people, who always lied and manufactured smiles—was overjoyed at the thought of becoming someone indispensable to another person.”
When Leni had simply said she hoped he wouldn’t hate her,
when she had run barefoot across Iredain all the way to Alon Ricgard’s office for his sake,
Emil had finally felt his own existence affirmed.
“You heard what that woman said about her brother earlier, didn’t you? It’s the same for me. While I looked after Leni, it seems I wanted to become someone of value. I wanted to prove my worth by curing her curse. It’s a ridiculous story.”
Emil spat the words out.
“That’s why I couldn’t rejoice when that knight appeared and saved her. Because in that moment, I had done nothing for her.”
“—Priest?”
A voice called his name.
When he looked up, Leni was standing before him.
“Thank goodness. You haven’t left yet……”
“Leni…… Your Highness. Weren’t you speaking with Sir Neil?”
“I sent him away.”
“Pardon?”
Leni spoke in her usual indifferent tone.
“Because I wanted to be with you. Once we reach Myrdin, Neil will be glued to my sister’s side anyway, so we’ll see more than enough of him. I told him I’d stay with you today, and he left smiling.”
“But…… weren’t you in the middle of an important conversation with him?”
Leni shook her head.
“It wasn’t anything important. If it truly matters, he’ll handle it himself.”
“I…… see.”
Emil stood there in a daze.
Leni took his hand with an expressionless face and led him to their room.
After a brief hesitation, she spoke.
“Actually, I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me?”
Emil echoed like a fool.
What had he ever done to deserve her gratitude?
“You saved me from the kidnappers. You cured my curse. Yet I’ve never once told you thank you…… so I wanted to say it now, even if it’s late.”
As she spoke, Leni offered a small, gentle smile.
The moment he saw that smile, something hot surged up from deep inside Emil’s chest. It rose until it caught in his throat.
If he stayed like this, he would show her an expression he absolutely could not let her see.
So he pulled her into his arms.
Leni let out a startled breath.
“P-Priest?”
“You don’t need to thank me, Your Highness.”
He fought to keep his voice steady. Anything else would have been pathetic.
“I’ve never done anything worthy of gratitude. I only…… hope you are happy. Are you happy when you’re with me?”
“Yes…… I’m happy when I’m with you.”
Leni nodded slowly.
Those words eased the ache in his chest.
“I’m glad. Truly……”
Hearing them, Emil felt—for just a moment—as though he really had become someone of value.
Even though that couldn’t possibly be true.