Gingppai

Huh. So this is the kind of talk going around?

Should I post an "I'm alive" update?

But just posting it straight would be boring. Gotta mess with them a little.

That should be enough to reel them in, right?

I hit upload.

The view count and upvotes start climbing fast.

The small fry will leave comments here. A true elite doesn't even bother posting. The whole point is to not look at the comments at all, like I've actually been reduced to some nobody deckhand.

Swelling with pride, I head over to where Jack and Coulson are. My upper arm still doesn't move, but my fingers and wrist have recovered enough to work. Awakeners heal faster than regular people.

Our crew was shopping — cigarettes, cola, jerky, guns, knives, all the useful stuff. I casually snag a piece of jerky from the cart with my left hand. Coulson notices I stole it and makes a hollow, defeated expression, but it can't be helped. In a shitty small company, the employees' stuff is the boss's stuff. The supermarket also had a few things I wanted, so I grabbed those too.

That about wraps up the shopping. Now it's time to gingppai a ship.

We head to the docks together.

"Captain, will this be alright? There'll be people stationed on the ships..."

I pull the brand-new stun gun I just bought at the supermarket from my pocket.

"Ahh. Do you know what this is?"

"Isn't that a... stun gun?"

I press the trigger. BZZT-!! Sparks crackle and jump.

With Dialogue (Physical) on my side, I could even become President of the United States. That's why conversation is so important.

We start scouting for ships.

"How about that one?"

"Too old."

"That one's brand new, though?"

"The ship's way too big. There's only three of us, dude."

None of them can take a hint. Don't they know what I want?

Pirate Island — the spiritual homeland of pirates, where pirates live and sell everything pirates need. And what pirates need isn't just weapons. They need ships, too. They sell those here.

That's right. I don't want some lived-in used boat. I want a brand-new ship — a pure virgin, untouched in body and soul.

And wouldn't you know it, there's a shop run by the Wales Pirates right there?

There are things pirates generally aren't supposed to do.

Well, our crew already escaped from the Wales Pirates. And I pointed a gun at the captain of Wales' Blue White Dolphin and half-destroyed the ship. We're basically on the pirate world's blacklist. We already broke the unwritten rules once. What's a second time?

"Well, honestly, that's true."

"We're probably already wanted, but..."

"Even so, breaking a taboo again is a bit..."

"Gentlemen, there's a saying. Kill once and you're a murderer, but kill a thousand times and you're a revolutionary. Did you know that?"

"What kind of bullshit is that?"

I just made that up. Doesn't it sound meaningful and cool, though? Honestly, if you kill a thousand people you're a mass murderer, not a revolutionary.

"Therefore, we shall become revolutionaries. Gentlemen!!"

"Jack, was taking a kid as our boss really the right call?"

"Yeah, I'm regretting it too."

"Tsk tsk. Think about it, crew!! Would you rather steal from powerless, weak pirates?! Or steal from the bastards who tried to fuck me?!"

"Haah... no choice, I guess."

"But pirates are bad too..."

Ahem!! We're pirates too!!

We decided to rob those evil, wicked Wales ships. And while I was thinking, is there even a problem with pirates doing pirate stuff?, Coulson speaks up.

"Security's weak, Captain. Their arrogance is off the charts, huh?"

Whether they were confident their ships wouldn't get stolen or not, the security was pathetically bad. All they ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had was a rope tying the ships down. So basically, if you just had the ship's key, you could steal it.

"We're stealing a ship. Coulson, use the remaining money to buy all the fuel you can."

A ship needs fuel to run. That's common sense. So one of us has to buy fuel. We shove the money at Coulson and head for the Wales shop.

Inside, a vulgar woman with her chest fully on display was holding a keyring. I'm piggybacked on Jack's back, and I start whispering.

"Jack. Which ship were we going to steal?"

"Probably B-31."

I look at the keys.

"B-31, B-31..."

That key was on the ring.

"Okay. Commence operation."

I slide down from Jack's back and approach the woman with her chest fully out, then start fiddling with the keyring.

"Wow... pretty."

"Huh? Who are you...?"

Right on cue, Jack rushes in.

"Ah!! I'm so sorry!! Our daughter's just really curious."

The key detail here is not letting go of the keyring even when caught. While Jack tucks me under his arm, I work B-31 off the ring.

"Sweetie, you have to give that back."

"Nuh-uh!! Nuh-uh!! I'm keeping it!!"

"You can't do that! You're making the pretty lady uncomfortable!"

Just a little... a little more...

After pulling the key off the ring, I lightly kick Jack in the stomach. He snatches the keyring away.

"I'm sorry."

Jack bows his head in apology, then gets ready to run.

"It's fine. Kids will be kids."

Now?

"Hmph! This is boring!"

I slip the key into the inner pocket of my navy uniform and walk outside.

Did we get away with it?

Fortunately, the employee didn't check a thing. After Jack leaves the shop as well, we hurry to the docks. Coulson is there transferring fuel. Jack helps him load it onto the ship, and I go to the cockpit, insert the key, and turn it.

"Now!!"

Jack and Coulson scramble aboard.

There was a minor problem with this operation. I have a driver's license, but I don't know how to drive a boat. Fortunately, there was a book inside the ship: Boat Operation Even Captain Hook Could Understand. Pirates weren't exactly going to go get proper boat licenses, so of course they had this. I quickly read through and finish understanding it. (I actually only learned forward and reverse.)

I hit the ignition and go forward.

"Set sail!!"

VROOOOM-!!

As the ship surges ahead, a loud announcement rings out.

"Full speed ahead!!"

The speedometer hits fifty knots as we charge toward the open sea. Someone seems to be chasing us from behind.

I grin.

Why?

"Have a taste of cannon fire!!"

I look back and gesture at the ship chasing us. Then small shells rain down from the sky.