Stock Gamble: Investing with the Potion-Phile Geezer
The moment Mark One and Ibella stepped out of my studio apartment to carry out my orders, I sat down with old man Alkerniman and put our heads together over what came next.
"So… any thoughts on how we ought to spend the remaining three hundred billion?"
"Money, as they say, is a thing that makes more money. And the method most exquisitely optimized for making money is, of course, investment. Therefore, you must invest!"
As he launched into his explanation, Alkerniman pulled up a brokerage site on that thoroughly dilapidated computer of his.
"If you'll look here — XX Bio, MM Electronics, and OOOTalk have all been on a tremendous upward tear these past few days. And according to my analysis, I have reached the conclusion that these adorable little stock-friends of ours will continue to climb even further."
"Hmm… that so?"
The companies the old man had named were the kind of hearty, reliable staples that had already sat among the ranks of major conglomerates even before I left for the other world. The sort of stocks that made you think if you just bought in, they would rise eventually. Thoroughly trustworthy names.
And yet I found myself hesitating, all because of an investment principle I had once picked up from a YouTuber, a very long time ago. The creed that YouTuber had bellowed at the entire internet had been extremely simple.
1. Even if the world collapses, never invest in the Korean market.
2. Wherever Koreans flock, that place is the Korean market.
3. Never forget rules 1 and 2.
Of course, I had no idea whether I even remembered it correctly. A full two hundred and ten years had passed since then, after all. Even so, some vague investment creed lingering in the back of my mind made me reluctant to just hand the money over, no matter how thoroughly Alkerniman explained himself.
Whether he had read my thoughts or not, Alkerniman drew a few potion bottles from his subspace, spread them out in front of me, and pressed on.
"Ahem, ahem. Even if the investment were to fail somewhat, would it truly matter? If you simply sold every last one of the potions sitting before your eyes, Master, you could rake in ten billion won in the blink of an eye…."
"……. Hey, old man. You're sure about this… right?"
Spotting me waver at the sight of the vials, the old man broke into a smile so unsettling it sent a chill down my spine, and bellowed.
"But of course!! I am Alkerniman! The greatest alchemist in the Empire! The smartest man the Empire has ever known!! I beg of you — trust me, just this once, and invest the money!!"
"…Well, I mean, we basically earned that three hundred billion thanks to you in the first place, so I can invest it, but… I can really trust you on this?"
"Naturally!! Please, place your faith in me alone! I shall turn three hundred billion into one trillion within a single week!!"
"……."
If I really thought about it, instead of wasting time reading stock charts and hunting down information, he could just brew new potions — that hair-loss potion, for instance. If he just sold that thing hard enough, forget one trillion. He would probably pull in ten trillion in a week.
I decided not to say any of that out loud.
Why? Because this was the old man's first time living on Earth. He ought to try enjoying every last thing there was to enjoy.
"…Okay. Deal. I'll give you a week. Take the three hundred billion and do whatever you want with it, old man. But if you lose it… you know, right?"
"Thank you! Truly, thank you!!"
Alkerniman bowed over and over, then scooped up the battered computer's monitor and tower and vanished straight into his laboratory. I watched the entire performance from start to finish. Once I had confirmed that the laboratory gate had sealed shut behind him, I logged back into the Awakened community.
Today's Choi Harin solo stream was just that insane — smash upvote if you agree. [67]
"Huh. Things piled up."
I had only shot the breeze with Mark One, Ibella, and Alkerniman for about thirty minutes, and in that brief window more than three hundred new posts had stacked up. Most of them, true to the nature of an anonymous community, were wall-to-wall shitposts and ragebait — but among the ones that had actually climbed onto the featured board, a few looked genuinely interesting.
"…Who even is this Choi Harin, that she keeps popping up at all hours?"
I tapped the featured post about whoever this Choi Harin person was supposed to be.
"Pfft! This guy gets riled up so easy."
I still had no real idea who this hunter named Choi Harin was, but I could say one thing with certainty: the Awakened behind the registered name ChoiHarinHaChoi was an extremely funny bastard. I scrolled through a few more comments, pieced together a decent picture of the hunter in question, and tapped the next featured post without delay.
"These guys are pretty funny too."
A-Rank, S-Rank — please. If I turned Mark One loose in the middle of America right this second, he could reduce the place to a wasteland in, what, thirty minutes? Granted, this was still the good old US of A. They would put up a fight, armed to the teeth with cutting-edge modern weapons forged from every kind of mana stone and otherworldly ore. Even so, an hour? That would probably be enough to wrap the whole thing up.
"Not that I actually planned to start a world war or crush a nation underfoot, of course~"
So long as the System was not forcing my hand, and so long as my life was not under threat, I had no intention of unleashing an undead army to end the world or setting myself up as Korea's overlord. Ah — though if some bastard started running his mouth like that, I would have to tidy him up, at least.
I was working through the posts one by one when I found a title that, quite blatantly, had a very high chance of containing something that looked down on us.
"Oh, you just walked right into this."
I will skip the preamble. I do not know your identity, affiliation, or name, but please visit the Association at the earliest possible date, complete official hunter registration, and begin operating as a hunter for the Republic of Korea.
Under current Awakened law, failure to register within one week of Awakening is punishable by up to life imprisonment. Please be aware of this, and refrain from any foolish actions.
Additionally, unnecessary provocative remarks that antagonize a foreign nation can have a significant impact on diplomatic relations between Korea and Russia. Please take down the provocative post you uploaded as soon as you see this.
"…Huh? You've got to be kidding me."
The title had already given me a bad feeling, and sure enough — this was exactly why the people at the top were always such a pain. If they had just sat still, I would have quietly solved every last problem facing Korea and lived a peaceful life. But no. They just had to go and tug the sleeping lion's whiskers?
Then they die. What else?
The thought settled, and I summoned a new magic circle at once.