Wrapping Up the Move to the New House
Click—!
The door swung open, and the first thing that filled my vision was a white shirt paired with black slacks, hair yanked back into a tight ponytail. A shopping basket occupied one hand; a boxed household dehumidifier occupied the other. Her eyes were cool and sharp, and she looked like the kind of woman whose words could cut.
Most surprising of all was her face. She was so pretty I had a hard time believing this was actually the older sister of Kim Gunwoo, currently sniveling on the floor in front of me.
"Kim Gunwoo, you little shit—! I heard the new tenant was moving in today, so your big sister brought some basic cleaning supplies and air freshener—"
The lively greeting died in her throat the instant she spotted Kim Gunwoo crumpled in the entryway. She stared, thrown completely off.
"...The hell? Why are you sitting here crying?"
"Ah, th-that's..."
Watching him fail to produce a single coherent sentence, she pressed her right hand to her forehead.
"You caused trouble again, didn't you? Aigoo... what did you do this time?"
"N-Noona...! Today I really wasn't the bad guy—"
"Sure, sure. Today you made peace with the world, I bet. More importantly — where's the tenant?"
Kim Gunwoo's sister slipped off her shoes, lined them up neatly, and walked into the living room as if she owned the place. Then she found them: a very small, very cute creature sitting on the sofa with her arms crossed, and behind her, a matching set of bodyguards planted there like boulders.
"...Whoa."
Her eyes lit up. It wasn't wariness. It was the look of someone whose blood sugar had crashed and who had just, miraculously, discovered a piece of candy.
"Hello? Ah... oh my goodness. Is this pretty little thing the tenant? Or... the tenant's daughter...?"
"You've gotta be kidding me."
I let my eyes fall half-shut and tipped my head a fraction to the side.
"...I may be small, but I don't look that much like their kid, do I?"
"Oh my, I'm so sorry — that was rude of me, wasn't it? We've only just met— ah! I haven't even introduced myself. I'm Kim Siyeon, legal representative for the building owner. Gunwoo's older sister."
"S-Siyeon noona!!!!!"
Kim Gunwoo's voice cracked into something close to a scream.
"N-Noona, wait—!"
Too late. Siyeon was already approaching — carefully, so very carefully — the Ha Yuna sitting on the sofa. She glanced at Mark Two, who stood nearby in human form with a perfectly blank expression, and asked,
"Um... what's your daughter's name? If it's all right, could I... just pet her head for a second? She's just too cute."
"...Huh?"
"...Pardon?"
The air in the living room went stiff as a board. Cold sweat slid down the spines of Mark One, Mark Two, Ibella, Alkerniman, and Mordane, all at once.
"...So, uh..."
Mark Two had gone so blank with panic he couldn't form a sentence. Mark One leaned in from the side and whispered, very quietly, in his place.
"Please remain calm, and hear your younger brother's words first..."
"Oh... Lord above, one of us is about to ascend."
Alkerniman already had a top-grade recovery potion out and clenched in his fist, bracing for catastrophe. Not that I understood why an undead bastard was calling on the Lord, but anyway.
Mordane had already started unfolding a soundproofing spell across the entire room. Ibella's fingers trembled as she flicked her camera on, then off, then on again, sunk in the deepest of deliberations.
"...Should I record this or not... judgment reserved..."
Kim Gunwoo practically crawled across the floor, seized Siyeon by the ankle, and clung.
"N-Noona, that nosiness of yours...! Please, I'm begging you, not today, not right now — noona, you'll die!!"
"What is with you today?"
Siyeon smiled. Just a little. A tiny, pleasant little smile. Then she daintily stepped on Kim Gunwoo's hand, and knelt down in front of Ha Yuna.
"Gah!"
"What's our little friend's name?"
"...I'm not little... Haa."
It was a brand of shock I had never once experienced in my entire life. For a moment I didn't react at all. Then, very slowly, I opened my mouth.
"...Ha Yuna."
A flower bloomed across Siyeon's face.
"Ha Yuna... that's a really pretty name."
And then her palm came down, carefully, and brushed the crown of Ha Yuna's head.
Swish— stroke.
A sliver of silence. Nobody breathed.
"NOOOOOONA—!! Please, let me take the hit instead. Master—!! Please forgive my sister just this once!!"
The undead, having independently concluded that a horrific future was about to unfold, began quietly edging out of the blast radius. Kim Gunwoo had progressed from begging to something that sounded like a death wail. And Ha Yuna, for her part, just blinked. She didn't do a thing.
...Soft? Why is it so soft?
Siyeon's touch was excessively gentle. No provocation in it, no arrogance, no contempt. Just a careful, inquiring hand, placed there for no reason except that she genuinely thought I was cute. And somehow, for some reason, it even felt a little nice.
I sat still and let her pet me for a moment. Then I brushed her hand aside, lightly, and said,
"That's enough. I just spent forever doing my hair off a YouTube tutorial."
Siyeon snatched her hand back at once.
"Ah! I'm sorry. I have this habit from looking after kids... if that was rude, I apologize."
"It's fine. More importantly, I'm twenty. And I'm not their daughter."
"Ah... is that so? Oh no, I'm really sorry. That was terribly rude of me."
I uncrossed my arms and shifted on the sofa, settling into a slightly more serious posture.
"As compensation, one question."
"Ask away."
"Mind if I lay down a few magic circles in this studio?"
Kim Gunwoo, rattled by how boldly I'd put it, tried to cut in from the side.
"Noona, you can't, the cost—"
"Of course you can!"
Siyeon sliced through him without a second's hesitation.
"Install whatever you want, as long as it's within the bounds of the law. More to the point — you're a hunter, I take it?"
"Something like that."
"Ohh..."
Mark Two, who had retreated to a safe distance to watch the situation unfold, let out a low murmur of genuine admiration.
"...To insult our Master and still live. I find myself curious as to her secret."
Alkerniman, who had poked his head out beside him to watch the same scene, gave a small nod of agreement.
"I fully expected that woman's backside to go up in flames the way mine does... I'm genuinely curious about her secret. If I get the chance, I'll have to pull her aside and learn it myself."
Ibella took one look at the two of them, shook her head in slow disgust, heaved a long-suffering sigh, and walked back to Ha Yuna's side.
Siyeon drew a short breath, then lightly folded her hands together.
"Well then, Miss Ha Yuna. Make yourself at home while you're staying here. In exchange, let's just get a few house rules on the same page. Safety, secrecy, and... mutual courtesy."
I nodded.
"Fine. Easy enough. More importantly — Ibella? No filming inside the house without my permission—"
Ibella snapped her system camera off at once and folded herself into a precise forty-five-degree bow.
"My apologies. I will discard all indoor footage. As for vlog episode one... I shall keep only the draft in my heart."
"You don't have to trash it. Just get permission before you film."
"...Yes."
Kim Gunwoo, the desperate wreck of a few minutes ago nowhere to be found, was now sprinting around without rest — yanking drawers open and shut, sticking up information labels, shoving three packs of bottled water into the fridge.
"Bottled water, fruit, yogurt, nuts, ice cream, cup ramen...! I've stocked the emergency rations according to Mas— I mean, according to Miss Ha Yuna's tastes!!!"
"How would you know my tastes?"
"I'm sorry!"
"Let's do this right, yeah?"
"Understood!!"
The air in the living room loosened, just a little. Outside, the evening wind tapped at the windowpanes, and the city flicked on its lights as if it had been doing this forever. I let my back settle against the sofa and drew in a deep breath of the house's smell. Warm lighting, the lingering scent of detergent, even the dry-wood smell of new furniture. This was a place you could actually live in.
"...Nice."
All four undead cheered with their eyes at the same time. Saying it out loud would only start another racket. I watched those idiots make fools of themselves for a moment, then opened the community forum.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me."
At S-Rank Slime's sudden appearance I shut the community screen, turned, and looked at Kim Gunwoo, who had been hovering beside me trying to read the room.
I ease up on him for two seconds and he immediately loses his mind? Does he actually want to die?
...Still. The compliment feels pretty good.
"I'll let it slide this once. Keep it in check, yeah?"
"Understood!!"
Having administered my tenth-season Kim Gunwoo, Snap Out of It, I went back to browsing the forum. I'd already moved in, and I'd finished everything I needed to do today.
And yet...
"Hmm... nothing that looks particularly interesting."
True to my nature as a recommended-post junkie, I scrolled through unread hot posts all the way to page ten, and still nothing jumped out and grabbed me. Starting a new thread of my own didn't appeal either — I couldn't think of a single thing worth writing.
So I figured I'd hit refresh one last time, and if nothing interesting came up, I'd call it a night and go to sleep.
I refreshed the community.
And then.
"This is the one!!"
A post that had already climbed all the way into the recommended section — and it looked like a lot of fun.