Gate (1)
Quite some time had passed since we'd recruited the ancient AI that once oversaw an entire planetary city—the one who'd been sleeping in the ruins.
In other words, Miss Alina.
"Time really does fly, doesn't it, Riel?"
"Tell me about it."
I was savoring a leisurely stretch of the afternoon, enjoying the aroma of the coffee Riel had brought me.
Peaceful.
The whole Alina incident had nearly gotten me demoted to Artraia's pet, and I'd nearly had a heart attack over that—but ever since, the days had been remarkably quiet.
No more civil wars erupting on the planets. Proschnak, who used to pick border fights and try to start wars whenever he got bored, had gone silent. Even the spy networks had dialed back their activity.
"Riel, what's on the afternoon schedule?"
"I just told you three minutes ago that there's nothing."
And on top of everything else, the work was done. How could life get any better?
"Come to think of it… how's the former vice minister doing these days?"
"Apparently he got appointed as an administrator for the Noble Council. I went and congratulated him like you told me to, and he just stared at us with this really wistful look."
What's more, we'd successfully returned that nuisance of a Noble Council lackey to his original post. Naturally.
I settled in to properly enjoy my peaceful afternoon, ready to savor every last note of that coffee's aroma and flavor.
And then that peaceful stretch of mine…
—CRASH!
"Minister! Give us Miss Alina back!!!"
"GYAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Alina for the people! Blessings upon the office workers!"
…was smashed to pieces, just like the office door the clerical slaves had demolished on their way in to reclaim their lost Alina.
They'd even brought some bizarre breaching equipment from god knows where. I stared blankly at the door debris floating in my coffee cup.
"Hey, your workload is lighter than usual right now. What's the problem that you're busting in here for?"
Riel, standing beside me, looked thoroughly annoyed—but the clerical slaves simply steamrolled right over her.
"Minister, why did you take Miss Alina away from us?"
I quietly organized my thoughts as the clerical slaves—no, the newly hired civil servants of the Foreign Executive Ministry—kept talking.
These idiots got a taste of heaven and now they can't function without it.
I couldn't entirely blame them. After Alina joined the Foreign Executive Ministry, office efficiency had jumped a documented three hundred and seventy percent. For those clerical slaves, it had been nothing short of paradise.
And now that she was gone, even with a lighter-than-usual workload, they were throwing a full-blown tantrum. It was like watching addicts go through withdrawal. Truly pathetic.
A sad day. Our elite clerical slaves, reduced to staging a slave revolt just because one person is missing.
Understanding their feelings was one thing. Tolerating a rebellion in a hierarchical empire was another entirely.
"Riel."
"Yes, Minister. You lot—get in here and restrain these idiots."
"Aaaagh!"
"Minister, this isn't a rebellion—it's a revolutionnnn!"
The Purge Squad members appeared at the entrance in an instant and hauled them out in a line of bindings, and still the lunatics kept spouting deranged slogans. My temple throbbed on pure reflex.
Not because of the whole rebellion-versus-revolution nonsense some bald old man might have said. Something else entirely.
"Riel."
"What is it, Minister?"
"I was under the impression Alina was scheduled to return tomorrow."
"Yep."
"Was I wrong about that?"
"Nope."
"Then why are these idiots losing their minds today?"
"Beats me."
If they'd just waited one more day, the Alina they so desperately wanted would have returned on her own. Why they couldn't manage that and instead launched a slave revolt was utterly beyond me.
At any rate, after suppressing the slave rebellion (of sorts), the Purge Squad repaired the shattered office door, cleaned up the interior, and left.
"Haaah."
The chaos drained away, and silence settled over the office. Finally, I thought—I can actually rest. I sank onto the sofa instead of sitting at the table and let out a long breath.
That was when it happened.
—Beep!
"…Hm?"
An alert chimed from my personal terminal. I couldn't hide my confusion.
Someone contacting me at this hour…?
Riel checked the terminal as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
"Minister, it's Minister Vermouth from the Ministry of Technology and Science."
"…"
A name I hadn't heard in quite a while. The news that Minister Vermouth—one of the empire's universally acknowledged lunatics—was calling only amplified my bewilderment.
"Minister Vermouth? What for?"
"How would I know? If I had to guess, it's probably something about Alina."
That seemed reasonable enough. I took the terminal Riel handed me and connected the call.
—Beep.
"…What is it, Minister Vermouth?"
On the screen that flickered to life, Minister Vermouth—whom I hadn't seen in nearly a year—was…
—"Yay~ Can you see me? Minister Arto?"
"…???"
…beaming at me with a bright, slightly unsettling smile and throwing an energetic greeting my way.
—"Starting now, I'm going to play a fun little 'prank' on your precious Miss Alina~!"
"…"
When I failed to react, Minister Vermouth pouted and started grumbling.
—"If you're going to give me the silent treatment like that, you're just making me look stupid."
"Stop with the nonsense. Why did you call?"
At my repeated question, Minister Vermouth launched into one of her signature exaggerated gestures and shouted at the screen.
—"We've developed something absolutely incredible this time! Won't you come take a look?!"
She was even jabbing a finger at me through the display. I wondered what on earth she'd built to warrant that kind of reaction.
Her answer to that unspoken question was…
—"Nyeheheh~ If I tell you in advance, it won't be any fun!"
…and then she hung up on the spot.
"…"
"Minister, what are you going to do?"
Riel, who'd been watching the whole exchange, asked about my next move.
"About what?"
"If you're planning to go see whatever it is, I should start getting ready to leave now."
I shrugged.
"She didn't even tell me to come. No reason for me to go."
"Well… I mean, yeah, but."
Riel looked a little thrown by that, but honestly, I had zero desire to visit any of Minister Vermouth's usual haunts of madness.
"I have no interest in watching her latest parade of lunacy with my own two eyes again."
"Nngh."
Throwing slaves into live biological experiments was child's play by her standards. For the sake of my own mental health, I decided not to get involved this time. I'd dig up some suitably lengthy work, claim I was too busy to go, and bury myself in it.
About an hour later.
—Beep♪
—Beep♪
—Beep♪
—Beep♪
—Beep♪
—Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪Beep♪
"Riel, why aren't you hitting mute?"
"Minister, the mute button on your terminal is gone."
"…"
She'd hacked a perfectly functional terminal, deleted the mute function, and was spamming me at spam-mail volume. I finally threw up my hands in surrender.
"Haaah… Fine. Connect it."
"Got it."
The moment the call connected again, Minister Vermouth—face full of pure sulk—started whining the second she saw me.
—"Minister Arto! Why won't you answer meee?!"
I made no effort to hide my irritation.
"The one who hung up without explaining anything properly was you, Minister Vermouth."
—"Hiiing."
"…"
The childish little whimper nearly made my sanity leave my body.
Even most assemblymen and fellow ministers get nervous when I show this much annoyance. What kind of guts does this woman have?
—"Please just come take a look, just once, pleeease."
"I'm in the middle of work. I'm busy."
—"Aww, we both know you're not actually busy right now… If nothing else, just come look at it!"
The nonstop whining made me seriously consider just crushing the terminal then and there, but—
—"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease."
"Haaah… Fine. Just stop. Please."
I finally exhaled and decided to humor Minister Vermouth this one time.
—"Great! This time, even you won't be disappointed, Minister Arto!"
With self-praise that bold, even I started to feel a flicker of expectation.
—"Behold… Ta-daaa! Introducing the tentatively named Warp Gate!!!"
Something I had never expected in a million years came flying out of her mouth. I kicked off the sofa and was on my feet before I knew it.