Goblin Massacre, Heroine Get?!

I pushed through the underbrush, shoving aside the broad leaves of primitive plants as I advanced.

Apparently bored, the Goddess piped up.

"But are not the chieftain and the shaman their finest elites? Canst thou truly prevail?"

Of course. I just need to raise my stats.

The method was simpler than it sounded. In the original game, this area had a level-15 cap.

Meaning even their chieftain-tier trash tops out around level 15. So what happens if I hit level 16?

I dumped another point into Technique and watched my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠level tick up to 16. Even if this was the original world's setting, I'd already confirmed while thrashing those goblins that the game's rules still applied to a decent degree.

If the gap between people comes down to Force Hearts and Circle Hearts, then the gap between people and mobs comes down to levels!

It wasn't absolute, of course. But in most cases, the higher-level side simply won. That was exactly why so many rookie hero hopefuls got themselves killed — never bothering to check a mob's level, just charging in because "it's only a slime" or "it's only a goblin," and dying like idiots.

And against weak trash like goblins, that rule is basically law!

So I followed the shortcut just as planned. It wasn't a proper path, which made the going miserable, but I toughed it out. It was more than worth the trouble. Being a detour and something close to a secret passage, it let me slip in deeper and more quietly than I'd expected.

"To think such a place exists… how clandestine. And miraculously free of traps, at that."

What can I say? I'm good at finding openings.

"Heh heh. None know that better than I. Did I myself not fail to endure thee?♥"

Ah. Ah. Just her voice alone was enough to make things sticky. My Goddess Maman.

The lovey-dovey moment didn't last. A silhouette appeared up ahead, and I dropped into a crouch.

What the— a goblin?!

Something was moving in front of a cave mouth lit by torchlight. A single goblin had gathered a pile of leaves and was clumsily burning them, pretending to smoke. Did that even do anything?

What caught my eye, though, was its weapon. The thing was holding a poleaxe, of all things.

That's not an easy weapon to handle. What kind of punk is hanging around out here?

"Uung?"

Our eyes met. Goddamn it — I'd let my guard down because the whole scene was so bizarre.

The instant it spotted me, the goblin shrieked. Not as a threat or for show, either. When our eyes locked, the leaves finished burning and sparks jumped onto its fingers.

"That fucking HURTS!"

"Hey. What are you doing out here?"

"Human! Human! Kahaaak!"

"Yeah, this was outside the expected range, I'll give you that."

I glared, and the goblin rubbed its hand and leveled the poleaxe at me.

"I was slacking off! Human, you look motherless. I kill you!"

Seriously? Opening with a mom insult on sight? These little Abeiru-tier bastards.

"Haa. For your information, I have a mom. Big tits. Drop-dead gorgeous."

The goblin tilted its head at my answer — then suddenly started panting.

"Heeeehk, jealous! Then I eat your mommy! I want your mommy! Stab her with dick-head, get her pregnant, drink her milk while I violate her!"

"You know what, just fucking die. Intel, my ass. You piece of shit."

I charged. The goblin raised its poleaxe, trying to play the range game.

So what?

"Die, human!"

Whooosh!

The goblin brought the poleaxe down. I ducked under it and closed the distance. It spun the weapon around immediately — reflexes: passable. That was as far as it got.

I slipped to the side and drove my sword straight into its throat. The goblin tried to shove the blade away with its hands. Up close, the little bastard actually had some muscle on it.

It died anyway. If this thing had been chieftain-tier it might have put up a real fight, but with a level gap like this? Please.

I was still enjoying the points when another title suddenly popped up.

Whoa. That was actually insane. Conditional, sure, but an instant-kill effect?

What kind of title name is that? Still, it's useful. And the grade is Ancient, even!

Ancient was nothing to sneeze at. I hoped higher-grade titles would keep rolling in from here on out. I was genuinely curious how many titles even existed.

I headed straight into the cave. The atmosphere in here was completely different — the stench of blood hit me right away. A little farther in, the tunnel opened into a wide cavern.

I scanned it carefully.

Two of them, for starters. Or should I say a pair?

What looked like the chieftain — a hulking brute a full head taller than a normal goblin — was off in the left corner, tearing into a deer carcass. In the opposite corner sat a sofa of all ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠things, god knows where they'd dragged it from, and on it lounged a female goblin with massive, sagging breasts. She was wearing a necklace strung with bones and teeth.

Big one's the chieftain. Saggy-tits grandma over there is the shaman. Right where they're supposed to be. Ugh — size doesn't mean shit when the face is that much garbage.

Classic goblins: trust and skip. If some goblin loli or whatever showed up here? I'd lose my goddamn mind. I wanted the shaman dead on principle.

"Hmph. Wast thou not the one forever praising size? Changing thy creed already?"

Goddess, I have standards and a philosophy. When they're that big but shaped like that, and the species is like that… that's when I become a butcher.

Talking with Isis took the edge off my nerves a little. The chieftain had a real presence, sure — but I was level 16 now.

I wouldn't lose a straight fight. Still, I should play this smart.

No reason to fight on the enemy's terms.

"Wilt thou charge in at once?"

No. Once they hit chieftain or shaman tier, their intelligence is basically human. From here on, you use your head.

"How so?"

Like this.

First priority: divide and conquer. Taking the goblin chieftain and the shaman at the same time? Winnable, sure — but one slip and I'd be in real danger. Like I said, level gaps weren't absolute. So I planned to peel them apart.

The chieftain and shaman were a decent distance from each other.

Goblins are overwhelmingly male as a species. Powerful females become shamans, and they usually pair with the chieftain. But goblin females are also ridiculously horny!

I took a position out of the chieftain's line of sight but visible to the shaman — and dropped my pants.

"Hold— what art thou doing?! Suddenly thy manhood—!"

Honey trap.

"Thou saidst thou wouldst use thy head?"

Yeah. My dickhead.

I answered deadpan and casually wagged my still-soft cock back and forth.

"Sniff sniff, snrk?!"

The reaction was instant. Whether she'd caught my male scent or not, the shaman started snuffling and drifted toward my position.

"Mmmh!"

Then our eyes met. She flinched — until I put on the act, rolling my hips side to side.

"Come on already. You're not gonna eat what's right in front of you?"

"Uhihihihehk!"

The shaman cackled hideously and charged. Yeah. That's the kind of creatures you are.

Even a goblin with human-level intelligence turns into the same brain-dead idiot once you get them sex-crazed!

I drew and struck the charging shaman in one motion. A shame the Leonhart Severing Sword Style had no formal iaido technique, but it didn't matter. My specs were more than enough.

Shaaahk! Crack!

"Kieeek!"

Her chest split open as she screamed. In the split second she hesitated, I took her head off.

Huh. Finally, points worthy of an E-rank monster. Elite status paying off, maybe?

Clatter!

The necklace she'd been wearing hit the ground. The corpse vanished, but this didn't. I scooped it up on reflex — and heard something charging from the other side.

I circled wide and checked the necklace's specs.

Oh, perfect early-game item. Right then the goblin chieftain howled.

"Heard a scream! Where?! Female! Femaaaaale!"

Time to put the amulet to work. I circled behind the goblin chieftain, flicked the blood off my blade, and thrust in one breath.

Shunk!

The blade ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠sank clean into his back — but didn't punch through. The chieftain shuddered and twisted his head around, his face a mess of shock and rage.

"Kiiik, human! It was you?!"

"Ohh, chieftain-tier doesn't go down easy, huh? Your mom must be so proud."

He swung an arm. I stepped back and let it pass. Then he grabbed a hand axe in each fist, bellowed, and came at me.

Chieftain, no question — solid physique, decent toughness.

This fight's gonna drag.

But the wound was still critical. Every time he burned ki on a technique, I could feel the amulet juicing my own output past normal.

"Kieeek!"

"You whine like a bitch."

Claaang!

I raised my sword and caught the blow. The chieftain hammered away with both axes in a frenzy.

"Kill you, kill human! Cut off dick, make pussy, rape you, kill you, rape you again!"

Ambitious little shit. Now that was chieftain material.

"Pfft. You got the skills for that? I'd love to kill you in front of your mom."

"Kaak! Shut up! After I kill you, I rape your mommy!"

The goblin chieftain's eyes bulged. What he didn't know was that I was already smiling the smile of a man who'd just drawn the winning hand. I whipped a horizontal cut across in a flash.

"Hiik!"

He dodged with sharp reflexes. I closed the gap instantly, caught his probing axe on my blade, and seized his arm.

"You really shouldn't have said that. Sorry."

"Kiik, shake off sword and ki—?"

Pwahhhk!

Blood suddenly poured from his mouth. He convulsed, then dropped dead — the title's effect had triggered the instant kill.

I left this corpse on purpose. Somebody needed to know the boss was dead.

It was finally over. Finally!

Renata had definitely figured I'd be stuck dealing with these things for ages. Taking on an entire goblin tribe alone, after all. But I'd wrapped the whole thing in less than half a day. My chest swelled with a grandeur that was anything but modest.

Huh? Another title?! Hell yeah, that's more like it. Hit the conditions and titles should just rain down!

A pretty interesting title. Functionally, it made me a goblin chieftain. Being Ancient-grade, the effect was hit-or-miss in general — but for me, pure hit.

Suppresses goblins at my level or below. That effect alone makes this title absurdly valuable!

At minimum, every goblin near our territory was no longer my problem. Whether they swung Excalibur, cast instant-death magic, or transformed into a dragon — didn't matter. Slap the Suppression status on them and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠they'd just stand there shaking.

Damn, titles taste good! Sweet, so sweet!

"Ooooh! Well done, Lashu. Thou art truly my apostle!"

"Thank you, Goddess."

I checked for anything else worth taking. But these were just goblins loitering near a backwater fief — no treasure in sight. I was about to leave the disappointment behind when something caught my eye.

"Hm?"

A massive iron cage sat in the center of the cavern. I'd been too busy fighting to notice it. I walked over and looked inside.

There was a person in there. And not just any person — a woman with a killer body!

Wait… this woman?!

And she was a character I knew.