Chapter 92
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 92
Chapter Title: The Mayor's Escape
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Labor is sacred.
Nonsense.
Labor will set humanity free.
Sophistry.
Your sweat-drenched toil is beautiful.
Lies.
I curse every ode to labor ever recorded in human history.
Behold the mountain of paper before me, the jungle of text, the swamp of ink.
These are the shackles binding my freedom, the vampires devouring my time, the colossal tombstone crushing my soul.
[Prior Notice of Administrative Disposition on Penalty Imposition]
[Complaint for Violation of the Act on Aggravated Punishment for Specific Economic Crimes]
[Request for Approval of Victim Relief and Compensation Implementation Plan]
Each page I turn rustles against my fingertips.
It sounds just like my lifespan being gnawed away.
Even the special fountain pen Seria gifted me couldn't erase my exhaustion.
Who is the culprit behind all this tragedy?
Me.
Me, Lee Garam.
The man who failed at taking bribes.
The man who failed at getting impeached.
A failed failure who can't even fail properly.
My pure greed in trying to take bribes.
My modest dream of getting impeached.
The price for all of it backfiring was truly horrific.
"Haa..."
I set down my pen and leaned back in my chair.
Knock knock.
The door opened with a light knock.
"Mayor, if I may intrude for a moment."
My capable, beautiful, demonic secretary, Seria Park.
Stacked in her arms were three boxes of documents.
"What the hell is that?! Don't just set it down! Explain! Explain first, I said!"
"A procession of companies deeply moved by Your Excellency's great achievements, coming forward to confess. Your light was so brilliant that even the shadows in hiding couldn't bear to stay concealed."
"Light this, darkness that. Speak in human language!"
"In short, five more companies have turned themselves in."
"Why?! Why the hell are they confessing?!"
"They're scared of you, sir. Better to confess and get a reduced sentence."
"Scared of what?! Look at me! Look at this pathetic sight! How is a miserable wreck drowning in paperwork scary?!"
I spread my arms wide to show off my current state.
My tie was loose, my shirt stained with coffee, my hair a mess.
Hero? Mastermind?
Bullshit.
Just an overworked office drone.
Seria set the boxes down with a blank expression.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The boxes stacked up beside my desk with dull thumps. The sound of new tombstones being erected.
"Congratulations, Mayor. Your strategy has achieved far greater success than anticipated. Neo Incheon's corrupt companies will be watching their step around the city audit team for a while now."
"Stop... just stop..."
"Stop what?"
"Stop torturing me with your praise! How many times do I have to say it wasn't a strategy?! It was an accident! A coincidence! A fluke!"
I screamed. But Seria didn't bat an eye.
She merely tapped the neatly stacked document boxes.
"You'll need to process all of these by the end of the week. They're for referral to the prosecutors."
With that, she bowed lightly and left the mayor's office.
I stared blankly at the newly risen mountain of paper.
This won't do.
I can't take it anymore.
I have to escape.
From this document hell, this prison of misunderstandings, this woman's clutches.
I have to reclaim my freedom.
First escape plan: Operation "Drainpipe Dream."
The mayor's office is on the 15th floor. Jumping would be suicide.
But something caught my eye: the sturdy drainpipe running along the wall by the window.
I'd seen it in movies plenty of times. The hero climbing down the drainpipe.
I kicked away from my desk and rushed to the window.
I flung it open.
Whoosh—
The wind slapped my cheeks. Perfect. I'll ride this wind to freedom.
I swung one leg out the window and gripped the drainpipe with both hands.
Down we go. To the ground. To the land of freedom.
"Hek... hek hek..."
One floor.
Two floors.
It's harder than I thought. My arms are shaking, my legs trembling uncontrollably.
Damn it, I should've exercised more.
But I can't give up. Down there, liberation is calling me.
"Mayor, where are you going?"
"Hiiiik!"
A voice came from above.
I looked up to see Seria leaning out the window, peering down at me.
"Don't just pop up like that! I almost fell!"
I clutched the drainpipe tighter in shock.
"You're not trying to escape right now, are you?"
"Es, escape?! What are you talking about?! Ah, ahh, just taking a stroll! Yeah, a stroll! Sometimes a thrilling stroll like this is nice, right? Hahaha!"
"I see. Quite the unique way to stroll."
"Yeah! Vertical walking! Vertical trekking! It's the latest trend!"
"I recommend working out a bit more before trying it. I can see your arms shaking from here. You look truly pitiful."
"Ha, haha."
I forced a laugh while dangling from the drainpipe.
"By the way, Mayor. That drainpipe can't support your weight. Estimated injuries from a fall: at least 8 weeks recovery. Unless you want to be signing documents from a hospital bed, climbing back up is the wise choice."
She saw right through everything.
My weight, the pipe's durability, even my pathetic future.
I weakly clung to the pipe and crawled back inside.
Thud.
A new stack of documents had appeared on my desk—ten bundles exactly.
"This is your punishment for attempting to leave without permission."
Seria said without a smile.
My second chance came at noon.
Lunchtime.
Hundreds of city employees filled the hallways heading to the cafeteria. A surging wave of humanity.
I blended into the crowd.
Office worker cosplay. Tie loosened, sleeves rolled up.
Operation name: "Lunchtime Chameleon."
I'm not Mayor Lee Garam. I'm a nameless salaryman.
I'm Kim the intern, Lee the section chief, Park the assistant manager. Forget this is city hall for a bit.
No one will suspect I'm the mayor anyway.
I followed the crowd toward the cafeteria.
"Today's menu is pork stir-fry and pork cutlet again, I hear."
Someone beside me asked.
Another replied.
"Ugh, that again? It's the same crap every day."
I chimed in naturally.
"Yeah, really. They should mix it up a bit."
"...?"
"...?"
"Huh? Who just said that?"
"Shh... Play dumb."
And at the crucial moment, I veered off.
Breaking from the flow, I headed to the emergency stairs toward the back door.
Tatata!
I bounded down three steps at a time.
Screech—
The door opened, sunlight pouring in.
I'd escaped city hall at last! The air of freedom!
"Hahahaha!"
I laughed.
Success! I finally did it!
Out of this damn city hall building!
"Hoo..."
I took a deep breath, overcome with emotion.
"Mayor."
"Hm?"
"Have you decided on the lunch menu?"
"Not yet... Hold on."
My heart nearly stopped at the voice behind me.
Slowly, very slowly, I turned around.
In the shadow of the city hall back door.
Seria stood leaning against the door pillar.
"H-how did you get here!?"
"You've tried escaping before, sir. It's not the first or second time."
In her hand was the cafeteria weekly menu.
"They say the pork cutlet is especially good today. If you're late, it'll be kimchi stew or nothing."
Ah, is this how Cao Cao felt when he ran into Guan Yu at Huayong?
Breaking through the encirclement, only to meet the ultimate warrior at the final pass.
But history doesn't repeat itself.
Guan Yu let Cao Cao go out of old sentiment, but the woman before me would sever my head in one stroke.
"Let's go... to the cafeteria..."
"A wise decision."
In the end, I ate pork cutlet face-to-face with Seria in the cafeteria.
The crispy batter and sweet sauce were excellent, but it felt like chewing sand.
"I've prepared two more boxes of documents for the afternoon."
"Again?!"
"Second escape attempt, so double the penalty."
"What kind of logic is that?!"
"Progressive taxation."
Seria said elegantly as she cut her pork cutlet.
"Next time, it'll be triple."
I stabbed at my innocent salad with my fork.
In the end, two more boxes of documents were added to my desk.
The third attempt was at quitting time.
This was my last chance.
With grim determination, I pulled a janitor's uniform from the cleaning closet and put it on.
Stained work clothes, worn rubber gloves, hat pulled low.
Pulling the cleaning cart, I became invisible.
Operation name: "No One Suspects the Janitor."
It's always like that in movies.
I stepped into the hallway in my work clothes, dragging the cart.
Whiiir—
The wheels rolled with an oddly cheerful sound.
"Hey, isn't that the mayor over there..."
"Shh. Let's pretend we didn't see."
The employees passing by saw me as mere background, ignoring me completely.
I made it successfully to the underground parking garage.
Dim, cool air, faint smell of oil.
I approached my official car.
I glanced around and pressed the remote key.
Beep—
The locks disengaged with a cheery sound.
"Hahahahaha!"
Finally, finally I did it!
I cheered and flung open the driver's door.
"......"
"......"
Silence.
Heavy silence.
Overwhelming silence.
Seria was sitting in the back seat. Hugging a massive stack of documents, no less.
"The janitor outfit suits you well, Mayor. Why not clean the office yourself while you're at it? It'd save on budget."
"How... how did you..."
In the end, I was dragged back to the mayor's office once more.
My soul became a tattered rag.
Opening the door revealed the familiar sight.
Mountain of documents.
And...
Nyaa—
A brazen furball was lounging on my chair.
It was Nero.
"Nero..."
I staggered toward the chair.
Everyone had abandoned me. Everyone was my enemy.
But, but surely not this one.
This guy I rescued from the streets, the one I placed on the emperor's throne—he'd be on my side.
"In this cruel world, you're the only one on my side, right?"
Nyaa.
"Yeah, you get it, don't you? How hard it is for me. How unfair this all is."
Nyaang.
"Let's escape together. Yeah? You gigantify, carry me, and we break free from Seria's clutches. What do you say?"
I reached out to my last hope.
Nero stared at me intently.
Then he slowly raised a front paw.
Maybe a comforting pat?
Tap.
His paw lightly swatted a document on the desk.
"Hm?"
I picked it up, entranced.
[Special Tonic Food for Catopia Cats and Request for Additional Premium Smoked Salmon Treats]
Who the hell submitted this for approval? Is there a Nero fan club hiding in city hall?
Nero raised his paw again.
This time, toward the bottom of the document, the spot for the mayor's seal.
Tap, tap.
Precisely twice.
'Hurry up and stamp it, human.'
His eyes said it all.
"Nero, even you... even you're making me work?!"
Kraaaah!
My scream echoed through the mayor's office.
But no one cared.
Because it had become everyday life.