Chapter 42
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 42
Chapter Title: The Mayor and Paradise
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Every great endeavor in the world requires a pilot phase.
For instance, a pilot program. Prototype testing. Beta version demo.
In short, the time has come to select the first beneficiary for my tax-wasting project.
Of course, the glorious first protagonist was decided from the start.
That's right. My cat.
Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus.
I abused my mayoral authority to open the doors of the Catopia-affiliated animal hospital, which hadn't officially opened yet.
The examination room was lined with gleaming state-of-the-art medical equipment, still wrapped in plastic.
Perfect. My money—no, Neo Incheon's tax dollars—are being put to good use.
I set Nero down in the middle of it all.
"Let's start with a health checkup for our Nero. As the mayor's cat, it more than deserves the best medical service."
As the hospital's first customer and sole VIP, I issued a solemn command to the veterinarian.
"Yes, understood. We'll begin with a basic physical exam."
The vet replied in a flat tone and pulled out a stethoscope.
"Nero, be good. It doesn't hurt, okay?"
Meow.
The vet skillfully examined every inch of Nero's body: checking temperature, peering into eyes and ears, listening to the heart.
Throughout, Nero didn't resist once. It even yawned sleepily.
"Hmm."
After a thorough check, the vet let out an intrigued hum.
"Interesting."
"What is it? Don't tell me my Nero is a polymorphed alien?"
"No, nothing like that. It's a male. A calico cat."
A male calico cat. A being that defies the laws of nature. A genetic anomaly. A miracle born from a 0.01% probability.
"Calicos are genetically 99.9% female. Males are extremely rare due to chromosomal abnormalities, but..."
As expected. The cat I chose can't be ordinary.
I puffed out my chest proudly.
"Of course. My eye for quality never fails. This one is a cat sent from heaven."
"Next, we'll draw some blood. This way, please."
My touching reflection was coolly ignored. As the vet approached with the syringe, I instinctively hugged Nero protectively.
"How dare you! How can you stick a needle into the adorable emperor's royal body?!"
"It's a health checkup. There's a lot we can learn from blood tests."
That was the moment.
Nyaa~
While I was arguing, Nero slipped out of my arms.
It walked right up to the vet on its own and stuck out a front paw.
The vet's and my eyes widened simultaneously.
"...Huh."
The vet chuckled in disbelief and deftly finished the blood draw. Nero didn't make a sound throughout.
Once done, it even turned and winked at me.
"What a smart one. It seems to understand human speech. Extremely high intelligence."
"Naturally! It's on a whole different level from ordinary cats!"
Yes, my Nero is special.
My judgment was spot on. Out of all those cats, I personally selected this emperor.
While other cats scratched sofas and climbed curtains, Nero sat quietly, directing them like a leader. One glance from it turned mischievous cats into lambs.
I can't keep this greatness to myself.
"Our Nero is a genius cat!"
From that day on, my cat-dad life entered a new phase.
"Seria! Yesterday, Nero brought me the remote! It totally knew I wanted to watch drama channels!"
"That's just cats reacting to shiny objects."
I preached Nero's genius everywhere I went, to every staff member I met.
But the responses I got were...
"Ah, yes..."
"I see."
"Impressive."
Soulless replies like that.
These fools. Blind to the greatness of a genius cat.
"Fine. If you won't appreciate it, I'll show the whole world."
No problem. I'll do it myself.
I immediately pulled out my smartphone and created an SNS account.
Username: @King_NERO
I started posting majestic(??) photos and videos daily under the tag #DiaryOfEmperorNero.
And just like that, a week flew by as I was utterly immersed in cat-dad life.
The day of the completion ceremony finally arrived.
Neo Incheon's new tax-wasting landmark, Catopia, revealed its grand splendor.
"Kuhahaha! Behold, Seria! That glistening elegance!"
I roared from the podium. The sight before me was nothing short of spectacular.
Marble columns reminiscent of the ancient Roman Pantheon. Vast, lush catnip gardens between them. Plush cashmere carpets everywhere.
And in the center, spraying elegant arcs of that glistening golden fountain...
"Th-that fountain... it's a churu fountain!?"
"Yes, tuna, chicken, and salmon flavors rotate every hour. It reflects Your Honor's philosophy of respecting cats' diverse tastes."
This is art. The pinnacle of modern sculpture, melted from tax money.
Citizens' rage and resentment will pierce the heavens, leaving this empty facility as an eyesore to fuel my impeachment.
Worth wearing this pristine Italian bespoke suit today. No better canvas for a tomato barrage of public fury and scorn.
One odd thing, though.
Seria, standing beside me, gazed down at the podium with her usual expressionless face.
"By the way, Seria. Why didn't you object more to this plan?"
"Object, sir?"
For this level of budget waste, she should've grabbed my collar ten times over. Normally, she'd block it with a million reasons.
What? Does Seria like cute cats too? Did my passionate persuasion make her pity strays?
Nah, no way.
The iron-willed secretary. Steel-hearted Seria. No way she'd fall for a fluffy furball.
"Because Your Honor finally devised a project matching your intellectual level. Seeing you roll around with cats looked so natural, there was nothing strange about it."
"W-what?"
"Cats and you do the same things, don't you? Eat and sleep all day, scratch stuff when bored, act cute only when you want attention."
This woman is treating me like a cat!
Moreover, the Environment Bureau staff lined up below wore suspicious smirks.
What are those sly grins? Why are they clapping so enthusiastically?
Something's wrong.
Yet another unpredictable crack in my scenario today.
"Your Honor! Please declare the official opening of Catopia!"
At the MC's shout, I reluctantly took the mic.
"Uh... um... It's open!"
With my limp declaration, Catopia's doors swung wide.
No sight of the expected empty wasteland.
Instead, an endless line stretched from the entrance down the road.
Men, women, old, young—even foreign tourists. Faces full of anticipation and excitement.
Broadcast cameras' flashing lights blinded me.
Reports came in: the online reservation system had crashed the servers.
Huh?
Neo Incheon's New Hotspot! Catopia Grand Opening!
Animal Welfare Meets Tourism! Mayor Lee Garam's Innovative Policy Draws Benchmarking Inquiries from Overseas!
Ultimate Healing with Cats! Citizen Satisfaction Hits All-Time High!
Newspapers and broadcasts were plastered with praise for Catopia.
When I came to my senses, the tax-wasting den I'd envisioned was gone.
In its place stood Korea's largest animal shelter with a systematic adoption system, a themed cafe for bonding with cats over Luwak coffee, a pet shop selling cat supplies, and even experiential learning spaces for kids—a full-fledged cultural complex.
"No... how...?"
I clearly ordered a closed paradise for cats only. Why did it become a citizen experience theme park?
Then the Environment Bureau chief and policy staff approached and bowed.
"Everything is as per Your Honor's plan! We implemented your Nekonomics philosophy, tweaking the program 'just a little' into a citizen experience space! Public response is explosive!"
"This was all you guys!!"
"We merely executed your grand vision practically! Seeing you care for Nero enlightened us. That devotion and love—that's the world you dream of!"
They were even running paid experience programs I never ordered.
Daily cat-dad trials, meditation with cats, cat ecology classes with experts.
People paid to clean cat litter boxes and offer churu tribute, beaming with happiness.
Merch shops and the pet shop were booming. Nero-faced T-shirts and mugs sold like hotcakes.
"Th-this is a department store! It was supposed to be a shelter!"
"All profits return to city coffers as animal welfare funds, creating a virtuous cycle. As expected of Your Honor's foresight—we mere mortals can't keep up."
Catopia had become the opposite of my intent: Incheon's—no, Asia's—largest animal welfare theme park.
Admission fees, experience charges, merch sales...
Far from wasting budget, it was raking in insane profits.
Enough to turn black in no time.
My grand plan for impeachment via tax waste had morphed into a cash-cow tourism business filling city coffers.
And the most baffling part: those cats.
Coats glossy, eyes sparkling like jewels. They purred contentedly under visitors' pets—fluffy angels.
Where were the hellish zerglings from Bupyeong villa alleys? How were they all purebred-level pretty and well-behaved?
The strays I knew had scruffy fur, feral glares, and hissing as standard. Why were they all cotton candy now!
"Where did these cats even come from?! Did you buy purebreds?!"
My shout brought the policy chief with a troubled look.
"They're all rescued strays, as planned."
"Lies! Strays can't be that pretty and docile! Except Nero!"
"While you cared for cats, we honored your deep intent with intensive socialization training and grooming. Using the budget you approved for 'Nekonomics Phase 2: Public Cat Mom Project'."
"When did I... ever...?"
The price of rubber-stamping while playing with Nero??
While I slacked, my competent subordinates turned my plan into another success story.
This... this isn't Catopia.
This is a blatant Catastrophe.
I stared blankly at citizens smiling radiantly by the churu fountain, snapping life shots with cats.