Chapter 41
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 41
Chapter Title: The Mayor and the Butler
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It was a successful operation.
Truly a perfect sweep.
We had eradicated the illegal superpowered group known as the Catmom Alliance in one fell swoop, rescued hundreds of lives suffering under their grip, and brought peace to Villaville.
And most importantly of all.
I had rescued my cat. My fateful calico cat.
City Hall was my castle. The office was my throne.
And now, a new presence had taken its place beside my throne.
Grrr.
A small, warm creature making satisfied sounds atop the desk.
My trophy from yesterday's bloody battlefield. My cat.
"There, there. This is your home now."
Meow.
It even answered back. How clever. Clearly a genius feline.
I flashed the kindest smile imaginable and scratched its soft chin.
The gentle touch of its fur tickled my fingertips. Peace welled up from the heart.
Was this the happiness of a cat butler? A wave of emotion I never could have imagined just yesterday.
Creeeak—
But peace is always destined to shatter eventually.
The sound of hell's gates opening.
My capable, beautiful, and utterly merciless secretary, Seria Park, entering the office.
Her gaze headed straight for the desk. It fixed on the cat leisurely swishing its tail.
Her turquoise eyes narrowed ever so slightly.
"Uh, uh, Seria. Hard work as always today. Did you get the report on the Catmom sweep operation?"
"Mayor."
A voice like an ice block.
"What is that furball?"
"Furball?! That's too harsh! This little one isn't just some furball! It's a noble life with a soul!"
I shot back in outrage.
How could she treat this small, adorable being like a dust bunny?
"The mystery of this life! A miniature universe! A precious being like living cotton candy—and you dare call it a furball? Your sensibilities are drier than grains of sand in a parched desert!"
Seria didn't bat an eye.
"Let me rephrase. So why is that living cotton candy sprawled out on the budget proposal I stayed up all night organizing, crushing and mangling it on your desk?"
Oh.
I looked down, and sure enough, the cat was rolling around on the A4 sheets. Claw marks had torn several spots to shreds.
"Th-this… It's an artistic endeavor! Abstract expressionism painted with claws as brushes on paper as canvas! You just don't understand art!"
"Throw it out right now."
"Throw it out?!"
My voice cracked in despair.
Throw it out? This child? The pitiful little life that had only just found solace in my arms after trembling in the terror of death?
"How can you say something so cruel! Seria, are you made of tin?!"
"Shall I dispose of it personally?"
Seria said flatly. She wasn't joking. Those eyes were serious.
This woman was truly capable of tossing this tiny life into an incinerator.
No. I had to protect this one at all costs.
My precious mascot for the impeachment project.
"Wait! Let me explain! This one's the symbol of the 'Nekonomics Project' and Neo Incheon's new mascot! It's a sophisticated political maneuver to strengthen communication with citizens and build a friendly image for city administration!"
I bluffed with the most plausible excuse I could muster.
Even I thought it was flawless logic. With this kind of grand vision and forward-thinking perspective, even Seria had to buy it.
"A mascot."
Seria echoed shortly. One eyebrow twitched faintly.
Hook, line, and sinker?
"In that case, we'll need to formally submit it to the City Hall Official Mascot Selection Committee, hold a public hearing, and run a design contest. It'll take at least six months. In the meantime, we should entrust that cotton candy to the stray animal shelter. I'll call them right now."
"No! That's not necessary!"
Damn. She countered with even tighter logic. Half-baked arguments didn't faze her one bit.
"Why not just raise it at home? Why bring it to City Hall, a public workplace?"
"It gets lonely alone! Cats die of loneliness! Separation anxiety causes stress, fur falls out, and eventually…!"
"Cats are independent territorial animals. Perfectly adapted solitary predators. Fundamentally different from dogs that survive through social bonds. Unnecessary contact with strangers only causes extreme stress. And I believe the myth about dying of loneliness is about rabbits."
Seria cut me off effortlessly.
"Mayor, since when did mammalian taxonomy crumble in your mind? A world where all lives are equal and mingle without boundaries. Admirable philanthropy. Shall I give you a standing ovation?"
Rip. Tear.
My flimsy logic shredded to pieces under her barrage of facts.
Just like the budget sheets that cat had mauled.
This won't do. Time to switch strategies.
If reason fails, appeal to emotion.
Throwing a tantrum is human nature when losing a debate.
Big sparkling eyes.
I took a deep breath and summoned as much moisture to my eyes as possible.
"Seria… Doesn't this little one look pitiful?"
I called her name in the most pathetic voice.
"Look at its eyes. Those clear, deep pools holding all the world's sorrow… It was trembling in terror just moments ago in that horrific abuse site—a tiny, fragile life. You're usually a stone-cold secretary without blood or tears… but for my sake! Please? I'm begging you!"
My acting was at its peak.
I could've squeezed out a single tear from my left eye on cue.
Meow—
Right then.
Perfect timing. A miracle.
The calico cat looked up at Seria too.
And made the exact same face as me.
Big sparkling eyes.
Its large, round peepers glistened moistly, on the verge of tears.
The saddest, most pitiful face in the world. The one that screamed for protection.
A heartrending duet of man and cat.
Double combo emotional assault.
Who in the world could block this attack?
Seria was silent for a moment.
Her gaze alternated between my face and the cat's.
"……Haa."
Finally, a deep sigh escaped her lips.
A long, long sigh laced with resignation and surrender.
"Understood."
Yes! It worked! We won!
She'd finally surrendered.
"However, all waste disposal, regular baths, food purchasing and feeding, claw trimming, vaccinations, neutering appointment, and compensation for any City Hall property damage from here on out falls entirely on you, Mayor."
She rattled off conditions like a machine gun.
"Of course! I'll handle it all! Everything!"
"If I catch even a hint of you trying to offload any of it onto the secretary's office or other staff… you know what happens, right?"
She shot me a final warning glare, then turned and left the office.
Bang.
Only after the door closed did I exhale the breath I'd been holding.
"Phew… We survived."
I won. I beat Seria.
Sure, I'd been shackled with a ton of conditions, but in the end, I'd protected my cat.
I savored the thrill of victory and looked back down at the little hero in my lap.
"Well done, partner. Your lethal cuteness saved us. You earned a big medal today."
Grrr.
As if understanding the praise, it rubbed its head against my hand and purred contentedly.
Good. Now I need to give this one a name too.
Butterfly? Shamisen?
"From today, your name is 'Nero'."
Nero.
The emperor who loved art but ended up burning Rome.
"Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. With those tiny claws of yours, with the destructive instincts hidden behind that innocent face, burn this Neo Incheon City Hall to ashes."
The brutal psychological warfare with Seria had ended in my victory.
A great triumph for the alliance of me and Nero.
And so, I earned the title of the mayor who brings his cat to the office.
Sure, Seria's conditions were a hassle, but they were minor sacrifices for the greater goal.
Nekonomics Phase 1—sweeping the Catmom Alliance in Villaville—had once again netted me unwanted support and fame.
Now it was time for Phase 2.
Ultimate Nekonomics. A world where the mayor becomes the ultimate catmom. Become the icon of tax waste.
Meow.
As if echoing my grand ambitions, Nero stirred from its nap in my lap and let out an approving cry.
Yes, you're on board with my plan too.
I immediately picked up the intercom.
I summoned the site foreman from City Hall contractor Special Construction Team 'Atlas'.
"This is Mayor Lee Garam. Assemble the full team at the empty lot near City Hall. Overtime pay. Triple rates."
Cheers erupted from the receiver.
Soon, Neo Incheon's pride—the elite human excavators, walking cranes, and living concrete mixers—stormed into the office.
The miracle day-labor legion born of the superpowered era.
Dirt, sweat, and the honest scent of hard work filled the space, overpowering any luxury air freshener.
Inshim Party's overnight construction, Captain Kang Jiyeong's demolished club repairs, Villaville rebuilds—all their handiwork.
"Mayor! You called for us!"
They offered absolute loyalty. Why? Because I paid well.
In capitalism, trust stems from bank balances.
"Yes, I have a vital mission for you. See that wide empty lot on this map? We're building the world's largest stray cat shelter there. Catopia!"
I declared, pointing out the window.
"Cat…topia?"
"That's right. Paradise for cats. A haven for the poor angels of the streets. But not just any shelter. It's a hotel, an amusement park, a luxury spa."
My briefing began.
"Those pillars go up in marble! Cats will love it! Cover one field entirely in catnip! Lay the finest cashmere carpets on the floors! Over there, a playground packed with cat towers and wheels! This side gets a state-of-the-art animal hospital! Oh, and every cat gets its own suite hotel room—one per cat!"
"Why the pond, Mayor?"
"Idiot! For a churu fountain! A blissful fountain spouting fresh tuna-flavored churu 24/7! Just thinking about it melts the taxes away!"
"Whoa…! Mayor, what a bold scale! You're the only one we can trust and follow! What's the daily rate?"
"Don't worry. I promise top pay worthy of your efforts. Budget's no issue. Taxpayers' blood money is meant for times like this!"
Woooaaah—!
"Good! Get to it! With my money! No, the citizens' hard-earned taxes!"
My declaration was the starting gun.
The abandoned lot behind City Hall transformed into a construction site defying human common sense.
"Work start! By the Mayor's order! Turn this wasteland into cat paradise!"
Rumble rumble boom!
First up was the 'human excavator'. A burly muscle man. Asphalt split like tofu where his hands touched the ground. Earth sank and dug wherever he reached.
"Kim! Site's clear! Get in here and set the frame!"
The foreman yelled, and the 'human crane' moved. His arms stretched like rubber. 10 meters, 20, 50. The extended limbs casually lifted stacked rebar.
"Alright, time to mix."
Next, the team's sole woman and ace, the 'living concrete mixer', stepped up.
"Uwaaaack!!"
Uttering a sound utterly mismatched to her delicate face, she vomited cement from her mouth. Super-strength bioconcrete mixed instantly inside her poured and hardened right where needed.
Yes, work hard.
Every drop of your sweat is a foundation stone for my impeachment. Every flex of your muscles drains the city's coffers.
Individually climate-controlled one-cat-one-room hotels. Indoor playgrounds stuffed with cat towers and auto toys. Outdoor organic catnip gardens. 24/7 vets and animal behaviorists.
All on the city budget.
Taxes melting sweetly. What a delightful sound.
A few days later.
[Exclusive] Mayor Lee Garam: "I'm the Catmom!" Shocking Declaration!
[Breaking] Hundreds of Billions for Cat Hotel in Park Before City Hall… Funding Controversy
[Photos] "Churu with Taxes?", "People Before Cats!" Furious Citizens Pot-Bang Protest Before City Hall
Provocative headlines plastered newspapers and broadcasts. Online communities blazed, my SNS paralyzed with abuse and mockery.
Heh heh heh. Good. Perfect.
I could hear the citizens' anger gauge filling steadily.
But even perfect plans have minor variables.
What tripped me up wasn't public fury or Seria's watchfulness.
It was Nero.
My loyal partner, the first cat I personally rescued.
"Nero! I told you not to climb there! That's a limited-edition figurine!"
I never dreamed cat-rearing would be such grueling labor.
First thing in the morning: fill the food and water bowls. Premium organic kibble and mineral water. Pricier than my breakfast.
Then litter box cleaning. No smell, not a single grain of sand left behind.
Daytime: playtime. Waving feather toys until my shoulder dislocates. Laser pointer until I confuse myself for the cat.
Nights were harsher.
The infamous 'zoomies' time.
Pitter-patter of tiny predator paws echoing in the quiet penthouse. Desk to sofa, sofa to curtains, curtains to my face. My peaceful sleep shattered by its leaps.
Sometimes it vanished without a trace, heart-stopping.
Behind bookshelves, under sofa, even in the trash. Only after tearing the office apart would it emerge nonchalantly from behind curtains, spiking my blood pressure with relief.
"Look at Nero, fat from too many treats. It'll be rolling soon."
"Taking after the Mayor and can't control itself? Pets truly mirror their owners."
"This is a symbol of prosperity! Proof our city's economy is this stable!"
"Just obesity. City finances don't scale with cat belly fat."
Nonstop chaos.
Checking impeachment plans, Cat Hotel progress reports, Nero cleanup—one day flies by unnoticed.
Before I knew it, I'd become the perfect butler.
"Nero."
Grrr.
One night, stroking the dozing Nero's back, I asked.
"When all this chaos ends, we'll go to a little island in the South Pacific together. Fresh tuna daily, napping to emerald seas. Sounds great, right?"
At my rosy future vision, Nero lifted its head.
Shake shake.
And very clearly.
Shook its head side to side.
"…What?"
No? Don't tell me it prefers life in Neo Incheon?
Meow.
This little furball outright rejected my perfect escape plan.
No. No way.
"R-right! Shaking side to side means you love the plan too! We really are in sync!"