The Saintess... No, the Holy Maiden!
We finally arrived at the cathedral by taxi. I had heard of it, but this was my first time visiting. The cathedral unfolding before my eyes was so overwhelming that just looking at it sent a wave of reverence washing over me.
"It's... huge, isn't it?"
"This is the only cathedral in all of South Korea. Every first of the month or on Christmas, we nuns always come here to offer prayers to the Goddess."
Ah, so that was why my sister and the other nuns always returned so late on those days. I had assumed they were just people who loved to throw drinking parties whenever something good happened, and that they had gone out for a company dinner.
I never imagined there was such a deep religious significance behind it. Lost in these thoughts, I followed Hayeon-nuna up the grand staircase of the cathedral, step by step.
"But... a thought just occurred to me. Is it really okay for me to be here?"
"Hm? What do you mean?"
Hayeon-nuna tilted her head and looked at me, confused by my question.
"I mean... it might be fine on a normal day, but right now, the Saintess, Emilia, is inside. I’m not even a believer of this faith. I’m just wondering if I’m allowed to be here at a time like this... if I’m even qualified."
"Aha, so that’s what you meant."
"Hehe, Hyunwoo is so polite~."
However, upon hearing my words, Hayeon-nuna and the orphanage director just smiled, exchanged glances, and let out a soft chuckle.
"You're right, as you said, the cathedral is strictly off-limits to anyone but authorized personnel right now. Even having a hero ID isn't an exception. Only nuns are allowed to see the Saintess."
"Ehh?! Then shouldn't I... be going back?!"
"H.O.W.E.V.E.R! Hyunwoo, you are the only exception."
"...Why is that?"
As Hayeon-nuna said this, she stroked my hair as if she were proud of me. Then, her hand naturally slid downward, gently brushing against the front of my pants as she whispered playfully.
"Why, you ask? You're a 'man.' And our order has a very special rule for men."
"A rule...?"
"Yes, Hyunwoo. A long time ago, the Goddess who created the world said this."
At the dawn of the world, the Goddess commanded her lambs to cherish wisdom (保智) and spread the blessing (福音).
The gate of wisdom is the womb, wherein the Goddess's blessing dwells; it is not mere desire, but a voice containing the principles of the world.
Thus, the first gospel the Goddess bestowed upon her disciples.
"Oh... that actually sounds pretty convincing."
"Right!"
It is called the Vulgata Vulvae.
...Huh?
"...What did you say? What gospel?"
"The Vulgata Vulvae! It's the scripture of enlightenment spoken directly by our Goddess."
"Exactly. And in that gospel, it is written about men like this."
In the darkness of the beginning, when only the Goddess existed.
In her loneliness, the Goddess began to caress herself; the tides that flowed forth became the sea, and the rupture caused by the stimulation burst forth, and grass grew upon the blessed earth.
"...Is this really the content of the gospel?"
"Of course! How holy her words are. There’s even a passage that says the breast milk flowing from the Goddess's nipples became steam to create the sky, and that a dildo molded from clay transformed into a human to become the first man! And that we women are the descendants of the Goddess, born after she was gang-raped by those men!"
...Is that for real?
Is this the core teaching of a religion believed by hundreds of millions of people?
No, surely not... wait, is this really considered orthodox?
‘Is that why the church emblem isn't a cross, but an abalone shape...?’
"Anyway, there is one passage in the Vulgata Vulvae that is the most essential. Chapter 69, Verse 74."
As we reached the massive entrance of the cathedral, Hayeon-nuna proudly recited the verse.
"...So, I can just walk in?"
"That's right. And in the side story, the Fleshlight Gospel, it is also written: 'Should you incur the wrath of a male, immediately spread your legs and prepare to receive the Vulgata-Kick.'"
...No way.
Could it be? Is that why, back at the orphanage, whenever I accidentally brushed shoulders with the nuns, they would suddenly bow their heads and stick their butts out? Was it because of that?
Back then, they’d just laugh it off, saying, "Oh, sorry Hyunwoo~ it’s just a habit," but thinking about it now, that posture was at a really dangerous angle.
But wait, was *this* the real reason?!
"Excuse me... is this really a legitimate religion? Is it some kind of cult...?"
"Hey! A cult? Hyunwoo, even if you are a man, I cannot let such a comment slide!"
"That's right! We're about to meet the Saintess, so you should be careful with your words."
I couldn't believe that this was the most universal and respected religion in a world where women ruled supreme. Judging by what I’d heard so far... this was basically a sex-cult club wearing nun habits.
But when I cautiously asked about its authenticity, Hayeon-nuna and the director, who held deep faith in the Goddess, sternly admonished me.
Meanwhile, in front of the cathedral entrance, the gazes of the nuns checking the entrants were focused on me.
"Oh my?!"
"A male...?"
"Haha... hello?"
First, the director, who was an executive in charge of cathedral operations, passed through without any obstruction. On the other hand, Hayeon-nuna, being a regular nun, began to take off her habit without a moment's hesitation as soon as she stood at the entrance.
Without leaving even her underwear, her white, smooth skin was revealed one layer at a time. She had to stand in a spread-eagle position, leaving her arms to the inspecting nuns.
Then came the inspection, where they even shone a flashlight deep between her buttocks. I could see her neck, usually hidden, flushed with shame as she held her breath.
And me?
I just smiled kindly, and that alone was enough to get a free pass, faster than the director, and I entered the cathedral.
"Heh, look. They let me right in, didn't they?"
"I guess so... but how long will it take for Nuna?"
"Who knows? They didn't usually inspect to that extent before..."
The director paused for a moment before adding in a low voice.
"Was it last month? When the Saintess was touring various countries, there was an incident where an assailant infiltrated the cathedral with a handgun hidden in their anus."
...How did they even?
No, how does a handgun even fit in there?
The bizarre method was so beyond imagination that I couldn't even let out a dry laugh.
Regardless, right in front of my eyes, Hayeon-nuna was reaching the peak of humiliation, her arms held fast while her anal cavity was being thoroughly inspected.
"Hwa-wa-wa... don't look... Hyunwoo... please don't look at me like this!!"
"Hmm, both holes are clean. The front is also in a rarely seen pure state."
"...! Hehehehe... Hyunwoo, did you hear that?! I'm a rare virgin these days! Which means there's even an event where I'll bleed if anything goes in there!"
...Does that Nuna want me to look, or not?
Eventually, after finishing the full-body inspection which took about 10 minutes, Hayeon-nuna, far from being ashamed, linked her arms with mine and leaned her body against me, grinning.
"Hehe... for your information, one of the conditions for being a Saintess is being a 'virgin'."
"Oh, is that so?"
It was unexpected. Honestly, having gotten used to this world, I thought that even if I met a Saintess, she would probably have piercings in her crotch and chains on her nipples, like the ace of a brothel.
So, the 'Saintess' is different, then?
"The virginity of a Saintess is originally only permitted to the Goddess and figures like the Pope, who only appear in mentions."
"That's why when Saintesses pass their position to a successor, they perform a ritual where they tear their own hymen with a dildo model in front of the Goddess's symbol. It's a kind of graduation ceremony."
Just as I was hearing stories about the Saintess.
Click.
We finally arrived at the deep prayer room of the cathedral, the space where the Saintess resided. Since we had moved early in the morning, we were the only ones inside, and in the middle of the prayer room stood a woman, silently, with her golden hair fluttering.
Mystically pointed elf ears, emerald eyes containing the colors of nature. And the moment she turned, her ridiculously large, voluptuous breasts swayed, blatantly showing off their weight before my eyes.
Moreover, the white habit she was wearing was as transparent as wet plastic, revealing not only the contours of her nipples but even the red, swollen area between her crotch.
It was barely enough to cover her, and overall, it was more of a seductive outfit than a holy one, with just a single piece of cloth over an almost naked body.
At the appearance of Saintess Emilia, Hayeon-nuna and the director knelt down in unison and bowed their heads. Only I stood there blankly, frozen in confusion, and Saintess Emilia, who had been praying in silence, made eye contact with me.
And a short silence.
'...Should I kneel too?'
Naturally, this person called the Saintess was an existence I couldn't even dare to approach. She was the pinnacle of the religion that received the most faith on this Earth. The only ones who could speak to her as equals would be the top-tier rankers, those in the single digits of the hero rankings.
What was an E-rank sidekick like me supposed to do?
Just as I was cautiously about to kneel.
"That appearance... that form... and above all, that gender is... could it be?!"
"Yes?"
The Saintess suddenly flapped her ears and covered her mouth with her hand.
What on earth is going on, I wondered as I watched her.
"Are you, by any chance, the... Pope mentioned in the Vulgata Vulvae, Chapter 1, Verse 1?!"
"...What?!"
"Hyunwoo is..."
"The Pope? Me?"
What kind of crazy nonsense is this?
I’m an atheist to begin with.
While all three of us were wearing bewildered expressions, the Saintess said firmly.
"No. You are definitely the Pope."
Then, suddenly, she pushed the cloth she was barely covering herself with to the side, and showed her damp crotch directly to me.
"As proof, look. My vulva is wet."
"...? What does that have to do with anything?"
"Therefore, you are the Pope."
She said it as if it were a settled fact, exposing her holy body. I could only hold my tongue as I looked at the Saintess, who was soaked in her own arousal.