The Last Day
Holding his hand, I stepped through the back door of the classroom.
Every gaze swung toward us again in an instant, but I wasn't scared at all. If anything, I felt proud.
"You must be Yuna's father. Welcome."
At the teacher's words, he gave an awkward little nod.
I let go of his hand and walked to my seat.
Still sitting, I whipped my head around, and there he was.
Him, standing among the other adults. He made a little motion with his hand, telling me to face the front already.
I grinned and looked ahead.
"..."
Then I turned around again.
He was still there!
"All right... page thirty-four, problem two. Does anyone know the answer?"
Ahem.
Maybe I could make his shoulders sit a little higher.
I looked at the teacher and shot my hand straight up.
"Shall we have Yuna answer?"
Truthfully, I hadn't even known what the problem was when I raised my hand, so I glanced down at my book.
Luckily, it was one I knew.
I answered as if it were the easiest thing in the world, perfectly casual about it.
I wasn't sure if it was right.
But the teacher said I'd done well, so it must have been.
"..."
My heart was pounding.
I snuck a look back and met his eyes right away.
He gave me a thumbs-up.
Yep. My dad was the coolest and the handsomest of all.
I hadn't even turned to look at him that many times, and yet—
Ding-dang-dong...
Already the bell was ringing to end the class.
One by one, the adults began filing out of the room.
Each of them praised their own child, said their goodbyes.
Sometimes they greeted their child's friends, or made plans among themselves.
Where had my dad gone?
I craned my neck from my seat and searched the crowd, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Had he left already?
"Yuna."
"Eek—!"
I nearly toppled out of my chair from the shock.
He was standing right beside me.
"...Dad, how was I?"
"Just now?"
"Ung."
What would he say?
He glanced around for a moment, taking in the kids in my class.
Then—
"Our Yuna was the smartest one."
He whispered it right into my ear.
"From what I saw, the other kids couldn't even answer properly earlier."
Really? I got so happy for no reason that I beamed and nodded hard.
Then I squeezed my eyes shut and shoved my head toward him.
Catching on at once, he thoroughly mussed up my hair again.
That soft, fluffy feeling was so nice.
"But Yuna."
"Ung?"
Suddenly he stopped ruffling my hair, and a slightly awkward look came over his face.
"Can you get home by yourself today?"
"..."
Why—
"Dad has a little work to do."
"..."
Work.
"Uh... um..."
I looked at him for a moment.
"...Okay."
I nodded.
I could go alone.
I was a first-grader now, after all.
I was only startled by how small my own voice had come out.
"Good."
He pressed my cheek once with his hand, then stood up.
"Watch for cars. Don't wander off—go straight home."
"...I know."
He walked out among the other adults.
No—then he came back into my line of sight again.
"Dad's going."
"Ung. Bye, Dad..."
And then he walked out among the adults once more.
I couldn't see him anymore.
I'd had so much I wanted to tell him today.
I felt a little disappointed.
Ding-dang-dong.
After closing assembly, the kids poured out of the classroom in a rush.
At the school gate, I saw the moms waiting.
Neither he nor my mom was there.
He'd already told me, so I wasn't that sad.
"..."
I slung on my backpack and stepped out through the gate alone.
Just ahead, a boy was walking home with his mom.
A petty little sulk rose up in me, and I sped up to overtake them both.
"..."
Had walking alone always felt this long?
I pulled the zipper of the winter jacket he'd bought me all the way up.
There was the crosswalk, and after that a right turn, and then home.
I imagined walking home with him.
Holding hands tight, talking about this and that on the way.
Back then, the road home had always felt so short...
"..."
I didn't really have anything to say.
Being alone and still having things to say would have been the stranger part, maybe.
Standing blankly at the traffic light waiting for the signal, my hands got cold.
At times like this I always used to hold his hand.
"...No."
I shook my head hard, chasing the bad thoughts away.
He'd carved out his precious time to come to my open class.
He'd even hugged me tight when I was ugly-crying.
He did that much for me, and here I was getting gloomy just because he wasn't here.
...Then wasn't the one making me gloomy the bad one?
I stuck out my lower lip in a pout.
If he'd been next to me, he would have called me cute and patted my head.
Beep-beep-beep.
When I opened the front door, a dark, cold house met me.
It was the same scene I'd seen a few days ago.
The scene from when I'd come home alone, before he showed up with fried chicken.
A scene that was so scary and hated and cold and frightening.
"...Dad."
No answer came.
Because there was no one. He'd gone to work.
I took off my shoes and turned on the lights.
On the living room sofa, the blanket he'd been sleeping under lay tossed any which way.
On the table, the curry dishes from breakfast were still sitting there.
"..."
Normally he would have washed all the dishes.
This time it looked like he'd just left.
Must have been really busy...
Thud.
I set my backpack down on the sofa.
The clock pointed to two-forty.
He'd come around evening, right?
"..."
Still a long way to go.
I sank into the sofa.
I thought about turning on the TV, then stopped.
It wasn't fun anymore unless I watched it with him.
It was only fun when he sat next to me with a face that understood absolutely nothing.
"..."
I'd had so much to tell him today.
I wanted to ask what face he'd made when I raised my hand.
I wanted to brag that the teacher said I'd done well.
I wanted to ask if it showed that I'd been crying, too.
"..."
The kids kept sneaking looks at me, so it probably showed.
I hugged my knees.
The house was too quiet. I hated it.
"..."
What was he doing right now?
Was he hungry?
Had he gone to another wedding hall? He was good at sitting still for a long time, but still...
"..."
I missed him.
It hadn't even been a few hours yet.
I pulled the blanket over my head.
It smelled like him.
Sniff sniff.
It was a good smell, so a small laugh slipped out of me.
"..."
I sprawled on the sofa for a long while with the blanket over my head.
Once my body went limp, I only felt more bored, somehow...
Should I go lie down in the room?
If I went and read a book or something, time might pass faster.
Maybe I'd look at the picture book he'd bought me again.
Shff.
Dragging the blanket behind me, I headed for the master bedroom.
The door was closed. Why?
Mom always told me never to close the master bedroom door, just in case.
Because of that, I had a habit of never closing doors—but maybe he'd shut it on his way out.
Creeeak.
When I opened the door, a cool draft brushed past me for a moment.
"..."
My eyes met the Star Luminous doll he'd bought me.
Hi...
Honestly she wasn't a magical girl I liked that much, so I wasn't very interested.
Maybe I should have reacted a little better for his sake.
In a corner of my heart, the memory of his embarrassed face still lingered.
"...?"
What was that?
Beside the Star Luminous doll sat a white box.
Tied with a ribbon, even.
"..."
It hadn't been there this morning.
I set the blanket down and carefully approached the bed.
A sweet smell drifted from the box.
"..."
My heart started to race.
This was a gift box.
The kind you only got on birthdays or Christmas.
I reached out and lightly touched the ribbon.
Had he left it for me?
Surely he hadn't just set it here for lack of somewhere to put it and then forgotten it on his way out, right?
"...I-I don't know. I don't know."
I was too curious to wait.
I took the end of the red ribbon and carefully pulled.
Ssslip.
The ribbon began to come undone, and just as I was about to rest my hand on the lid that was about to open—
"WAAAAAH!"
A deep, strangely distorted voice slammed into my ears from behind.
I was so startled I collapsed right where I stood.
It had to be a monster.
"...Ugh, hhic..."
Tears welled up.
I was scared. And he wasn't even here.
I clamped both hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut tight.
Mom had been right. If you stayed home alone, a monster really would come and take you.
I was screwed.
In my defense, I'd only wanted to give Yuna a surprise.
"Hic, ah, uuuwaah..."
I'd loved surprises like this when I was a kid.
Apparently Yuna did not.
"H-hey, Yuna?"
Before she could cry herself completely exhausted, I carefully took hold of her shoulders—she still had her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed shut.
"Hnguuuuh?!"
Damn it. I never should have tried the surprise.
If I'd just shown her the cake normally, I could have watched her smile, all happy.
Nothing was going right today.
Even on the last day, was there nothing I could do properly?
"It's Dad, Yuna. Okay?"
At my words, Yuna opened her eyes a little, unfocused.
Tear-brimmed eyes looked up at me.
I gave her an awkward smile.
"Dad was so proud of you today that he bought a cake..."
As a surprise, y'know—I was going to give it to you as a present, I added in a hurry.
I'd only wanted to give you one last gift.
Along with that lame excuse, I stepped closer and held her tight.
Held against me, Yuna made little sniffling, snuffling sounds, and then—
"...Dad said he was going to work."
"..."
She asked it so quietly.
I had nothing to say.
Well...
If I told her I'd lied so I could go buy a cake, it would kind of ruin the effect.
"I just wanted to spend time with our Yuna."
In the end, I spat out another lie.
So even to the very last, all I'd shown Yuna was a fake.
A faintly bitter feeling settled over me.
"..."
Thump, thump.
Faintly, I could hear the sound of Yuna's heart against my ear.
"...What's that?"
Looking at the white box, Yuna asked.
"Strawberry fresh cream cake."
Belatedly, I put the truth into words.
"Do you like strawberries?"
At that, Yuna stared straight at my face again.
There was no anger or hurt in it, nothing like that.
After looking at me like that for a moment, she squeezed her eyes shut, hugged me tight, and nuzzled her face against me.
I etched the sight of Yuna—whom I wouldn't be able to see from tomorrow on—clearly into my eyes.