Open Class
These days spent with Mister were just so much fun.
Going to the arboretum had been wonderful. We promised to come back together in the spring.
There had been a time when I woke up from my nap and Mister wasn't home. I held down the upset, scary feeling and waited, and he came back carrying pizza.
Mister really wasn't going to leave me behind after all.
Even though I'd spent all of Sunday just lying around, unable to do anything, it was still nice because Mister took care of me.
Yesterday Mister made curry. I really, really love curry. It had tons of meat in it and it was so delicious.
"...Heehee."
Today was Tuesday.
The day of the open class.
Whoosh—
Maybe because it was a special day, my eyes opened unusually early. I snuck out of the master bedroom so I wouldn't wake Mister and was in the middle of taking a shower.
"...Mister's gonna come, right?"
Just thinking about Mister coming to the open class made me smile. If I answered every single one of the teacher's questions, would Mister be happy?
I shook the water out of my hair, threw on some simple clothes, and came out—and ran right into Mister, looking like he'd just woken up.
"...What, you got up and washed first?"
"Ung!"
Mister looked at me for a moment.
"Good job."
He said it with a yawn.
Why did I feel so good today? Just looking at him like that kept making me smile.
"You gonna eat breakfast?"
"Ung, I wanna eat curry."
"Alright, hang on a sec."
Mister knew today was the open class, right? I remembered him saying on the phone a few nights ago that he had something scheduled for Tuesday.
Wait a second.
Was that schedule he mentioned actually the open class?
"..."
Come to think of it, I might not have told him there was an open class. I'd heard it half-asleep, so my memory was fuzzy. Why had I been so sure Mister would come to the open class?
"Yuna, food's ready."
"...Okay."
I sat at the table and Mister set the curry down in front of me. It was even thicker than yesterday's. I scooped up a spoonful and put it in my mouth. Still delicious.
"Is it good?"
"...Ung."
Should I ask?
Dad, you're coming to the open class today, right?
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's nothing.."
The words just wouldn't come out. If I asked and Mister said no, I thought I'd be way too upset. Mom wasn't coming either—if Mister didn't come too...
"Eat slowly."
"...Okay."
No. Yesterday, or the day before—I had a memory of telling Mister about the open class. I snuck a look at him so he wouldn't notice.
He'll come. Because Mister loves me.
Even so, I couldn't help picturing a future where Mister didn't show up.
"Have a good day."
"...Okay. I'll be back."
In front of the school gate, Mister ruffled my hair. I walked a few steps, then looked back. Mister was still standing there. He waved, so I waved back.
"..."
In the end, I never asked. Weird little doubts kept catching in my head. If Mister was coming to school today, shouldn't he have said "see you in a bit" instead of "have a good day"?
I got more and more anxious.
The open class was third period. But from first period on, I kept glancing behind me.
"Yuna, eyes front."
"...Yes."
Even though he probably wasn't here yet.
When second period ended and recess started, the back of the classroom gradually got noisy. Other moms started coming in one by one and standing at the rear. My desk partner's mom came. The kid in front of me's mom came too.
"..."
I looked back again.
No one. There was still time left. There were still five whole minutes before class started.
"..."
Not even five seconds later, I looked back again. Still no one. Wondering if maybe Mom had come, I went out into the hallway and carefully checked from there—but neither Mom nor Mister was anywhere.
"—So you're our Jin-woong's friend?"
"—Mom, stop it.."
The hallway was loud. Kids greeting their moms, and moms greeting their kids' friends too. Spotting what looked like a man's back of the head in the distance, I ran over—but it wasn't Mister.
"..."
I should have said something. I should have told Mister. Looks like that Tuesday schedule he'd mentioned hadn't been about me after all.
The bell rang for third period. The teacher stood at the podium and greeted the adults in the back—thank you for coming, and things like that.
"..."
I sat in my seat staring down at my hands in my lap. Not yet. He could be late. Mister sleeps in a lot, so maybe he woke up late today too. Come to think of it, Mister had walked me all the way to school.
"Alright! Does anyone remember what we learned last class?"
The kids all shot their hands up high, trying to look good in front of their moms. I didn't raise mine. Mister hadn't come—what reason did I have to raise my hand?
The teacher's voice drifted in, blurry. I looked back again.
"..."
Lots of adults were standing there. My desk partner's mom had been waving for a while, and the kid in front's mom was taking pictures on her phone. Mister wasn't anywhere among them. Mom wasn't either, for that matter.
I turned my head forward. The teacher seemed to be writing something on the board, but it didn't register. I felt like I was about to cry.
If only I could go back to this morning. If I went back to this morning, I would have told Mister there was an open class today and begged him to please come.
"..."
I raised my hand. I was going to go to the bathroom. If I stayed in the classroom any longer I was sure I'd start crying—so I raised my hand, but—
"Oh, Yuna has her hand up!"
The teacher smiled brightly at me.
"Alright then, shall we have Yuna answer?"
In that instant I felt everyone's eyes gather on me. The adults standing in the back were looking at me too. What question had the teacher even asked..? I couldn't remember. I hadn't been listening in the first place.
"..."
Hand still raised, I froze solid.
"Yuna?"
The kids started whispering as they stared at me. My desk partner shot me a weird look.
"I, I.."
My voice felt strangely cracked, and then—
"..I need to go to the bathwoom."
Misery poured down on me.
"..Ah, is that so. Okay, go ahead."
When the teacher said it with an awkward smile, a snicker floated over from somewhere. It came from behind me too. That poor kid's mom must be so embarrassed.
"..."
I stood up with my head hanging low. Then I fled out the back door as fast as I could.
Creeeak—
After escaping to the bathroom and looking in the mirror, there was a little girl standing there with red eyes.
"..."
The first thing that came to mind, foolishly, was that I was mad at Mister. Of course I knew better than anyone that the bigger responsibility was mine—for jumping to conclusions and not telling him, for getting scared of something weird and not saying it out loud.
"...Ugh."
Even so, I was mad. I went into a stall and barely managed to stop the tears that wanted to burst out with toilet paper. Don't cry. At least at school, I don't want anyone to see me crying.
Worried my eyes might get all puffy, I turned on the cold water again and wet my eyes. Then wiped them again.
"...Sniff."
Thinking about how I'd been worrying over how to make Mister happy just made the sadness crash over me again. I'd wanted to answer the teacher's questions coolly and make Mister proud. I'd had such a wonderful plan.
"..."
Forget it. Let's just forget everything that happened at school today. If I just sit around thinking about nothing, school will be over before I know it. Maybe I should just leave early.
"Hoo, hoo.."
I forced the breath out through my mouth to push out the miserable air, and decided I was a little calmer.
Creeeak—
I came out of the bathroom. And then—
"..."
In the distance, peering this way and that through the windows of a classroom that wasn't even ours—
when I saw the familiar, hateful side profile of that man, I just started crying.
Hearing the sound of crying, the man ran over with a startled face, pulled me into a tight hug, and patted my back. I cried and cried without stopping, hard enough to soak the front of his shirt completely.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry—Dad didn't know which classroom was yours.. And, uh, that vice principal guy up front kept grabbing me and wouldn't let go..
Mister patted me and held me close as he said all that. I wanted to say something back, but the tears kept bursting out so I couldn't get the words right.
"I, uugh, Iii, hic, D-Dad, uughh.."
Ugly sounds kept coming out. That made me even sadder, so I bawled. Mister hugged me again. When I suddenly looked up at him, the crying burst out all over again. I cried because I hated myself so much for cursing him out inside when he'd come here for me.
"S-soo, sorrwee, hic.."
Trying to force the crying down only made uglier sounds come out. In the end I gave up on talking and just cried until the tears stopped.
After crying my heart out and finally coming out of Mister's arms, his T-shirt was a mess of my tears and snot.
"Feeling a little better now?"
Mister pulled a wet wipe from his pocket and wiped my face as he spoke. His T-shirt—I needed to wipe Mister's T-shirt. I was thinking that, but I just let him fuss over me and blew my nose.
"..How are we supposed to go back into class looking like this? Your eyes are all puffy."
Mister grinned mischievously. I knew he was saying it to cheer me up.
"Ugh, it's okay. L-let's go together."
As long as Mister was with me, it was okay even with puffy eyes. I took his hand tight and stood up. Holding my hand, Mister walked with me toward the classroom.
I must be the happiest kid in our whole school.