Please Give Me Five Stars
Please give me 5 stars.
Morning.
The dark night had retreated, and the bright sun was rising. Most people used this time to get ready for work or school, but that didn't apply to me at all.
Ring ring!!!
Right on cue, the alarm blared, and I dragged myself up to grab my smartphone in one small hand.
"Nngh…."
Through my half-open eyes, I could see my tiny hand fumbling to silence the thing.
Beep.
The noise died down soon enough, leaving my room in blessed silence.
"Hoo."
I rolled out of bed and raised the blinds. Sunlight poured in from outside, banishing the gloom.
Yeah, this was morning.
Looking around the now-bright room, my eyes fell on my collection of magical girl merch.
That one's a signed item straight from White Lily… and that's the limited-edition Helios embroidered doll I bought ages ago…
Seeing them all neatly sorted by year filled me with a warm, fuzzy satisfaction.
And—
"Brr, chilly."
Even though February should be warming up, there wasn't a hint of it. Heating bills worried me, but I cranked the boiler anyway and stepped out of my room.
The merch parade continued into the hallway—a bit cluttered, sure, but more was always better.
Still, I should organize them someday if I get the chance.
A plan I'd been "meaning to do" for three years now. Future me would handle it somehow.
I set some hot water to boil for coffee and plopped on the sofa, flicking on the news.
Footage from the battle popped up on screen soon after.
It had been a month since she took it down, and now the review was finally in. I'd watched the live stream gripping my hands in suspense—glad she pulled through.
"Next story…"
Ah, coffee's ready.
I paused the news and headed to the table to brew it.
Drip drip….
The rich aroma of beans filled the living room, tickling my nose.
Slurp.
"Hot hot…!"
Oops. Old habit—went straight for the mouth.
A month into this body, and I still hadn't kicked it. But hot coffee beat cold any day, so probably never would.
One more time.
Slurp.
Bitter bite softened by that perfect acidity.
"…Tastes awful."
Needs cake to go with it.
I was rummaging for something sweet to cut the bitterness when that familiar name hit my ears.
Footage from the incident rolled.
The girl calling herself Pronesis in the video looked like a tomboy princess. White dress, pretty silver-blue hair, eyes like the sky itself. And that little crown on her head screamed royalty from some fairy tale.
At around 140cm tall, the magical girl battling the magic beast had no choice but to look down at her.
That was definitely… White Lily, right?
White Lily in the clip looked exhausted and pissed at first glance. Good thing she wasn't hurt—I'd been relieved about that.
With that, Pronesis vanished somewhere.
And moments later.
The wolf-like magic beast's body shattered into pieces—
"Apologies, we're experiencing a broadcast issue. Please stand by."
The screen froze on a "Please wait" message. Guess they hadn't anticipated the gore.
Should've vetted it properly. A big network like that can't afford slip-ups.
Then, a cute SD character popped up on screen—a chibi version of Pronesis from earlier.
"Don't hog the TV, Sofia. And that's not me—it's Pronesis—"
Right.
This one's Sofia, an electronic lifeform.
The culprit behind my 30-year-old self turning into a kid—and the world's one-and-only mascot.
Slurp.
I finished my coffee and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The mirror showed my reflection: shoulder-length dark navy hair, clear blue eyes like a piece of sky, small childlike build. Easy to mistake for a kid. Especially in these oversized adult guy clothes that kept slipping off.
Even I think I'm cute.
I struck a few poses in the mirror, then grabbed my toothbrush.
Scrub scrub.
Phone said 8:00 on the dot. No real schedule, but keeping habits like this would make school easier later.
"Oh yeah, did that thing from last time get sorted?"
I muttered post-brush, and Sofia's voice echoed in the bathroom.
The voice came from my smartphone, of course.
"Student status ends up being more useful than you'd think."
Especially since it solved a ton of my ID issues, even if some was faked—
BEEP—!!!!!!!!!!
Ah.
Told her to change that sound.
I turned on the phone amid the piercing beep. A blank-faced SD character stared me down.
Been popping up more lately.
"Location?"
The beeps faded, leaving only my voice echoing.
Close, at least. Good luck or bad? Who knew.
No time to debate.
"Transform."
Time to clock in.
"Hoo… hoo…."
Magical Girl English Lavender could feel today was cursed.
Why else would she run into a bad-matchup magic beast while grocery shopping?
"Grooo…."
"Ugh, why is this thing so damn tough?!"
Complaining was pointless now. What mattered was she was in deep shit.
"Grooo!"
Turtle-like, but no turtle she knew was that huge or agile. Three times human size, charging her fast.
She thrust her spear to block—but
Clank.
"Come on, just die already!!!!!!!!"
Every time, it ducked into its shell, mocking her.
Ting!
Aim for the belly or legs? Nope, it just hunkered down and even counterattacked from there.
Stuck between a rock and a hard shell.
Her wounds were piling up, her attacks bounced off—she could only buy time.
If another magical girl showed for backup—
Perfect timing.
She racked her brain for the name—nothing. Strength drained from her instantly.
Wild magical girl—unofficial, unregistered. Not illegal, but usually weaker than Association girls. She waved her off.
With that, Pronesis blinked out of sight.
As she'd said, I pulled back for a bit.
"Cold."
From the chilly rooftop, watching English Lavender fight, Sofia's voice rang in my head.
You're really not gonna do anything?
Dunno. She said she didn't need much help, so no plans right now.
Really?
Hmm. I usually don't meddle if they don't need it—interfere too much, and they won't grow.
I only step in when asked.
But she looked dicey. Exception time.
I decided to help and warped back.
Scenery shifted in a blink.
English Lavender, who looked tiny before, now stared in shock right in front of me.
I'd introduced myself already, but her memory was suspect.
Anyway, business first.
The beast panicked at my sudden arrival, but soon smirked.
Tsk. Judging by looks is a bad habit.
It charged nimbly. Heavy footsteps made me tense up instinctively.
Do I really look that unreliable?
I wish she'd trust me a little.
I activated my unique magic on the charging beast.
And poof—it was gone without a trace.
Silence fell. English Lavender looked dazed.
Then—
Boom!
It reappeared high in the sky and cratered into the ground. The impact kicked up massive dust—the beast was toast.
Time for promo.
With its death as backdrop, I curtsied gracefully, dress fluttering.
"Did you like Magical Girl Pronesis's service? If it helped, please give me 5 stars."
I am the magical girl who gets reviewed.