The First Morning at the Calinix Grand Ducal House
"Haaahm..."
In the thin light of dawn, sleep still clinging to me, I pushed myself upright, washed my face at the basin, and dried it. The mirror gave me back sky-blue hair and eyes, and, beneath the collarbones, a sight that insisted on being noticed. Staring at that face would get me nowhere. I hurried into my clothes, set them to rights, and quietly smoothed my hair. It was drawing near the hour Aiden would wake, and I needed to be thinking of him before anyone else did.
Creeeak—
With that thought I eased the door open and stepped out, only to meet the eyes of Melia, who was passing with towels and a bundle of clothes in her arms.
"...Hm? What brings you out at such an hour? If it were that footsteps woke you... no. You're far too neatly put together for that."
"Ah, my eyes just opened early, so I got up. Besides, the young master will be rising soon. I thought it best to be ready ahead of time."
At my words Melia's expression turned peculiar, and she drew a cautious step closer.
"Um... did His Grace perhaps ask something of you, Miss Kana? Something like waking the young master in the morning, for instance."
"Hmm... I wasn't asked to do anything of the sort. Why do you ask?"
In any noble house, I had assumed it was only natural to wake the young lord at a set hour and see him through his day, and I had come out with that in mind. The look Melia turned on me, though, was oddly unsettled—as if she were asking why I would even think of such a thing—and that left me the more flustered of the two.
"Er... do people here not... wake him, then? Not as a rule?"
"That's right. We don't make a habit of it. He rises well enough on his own even if no one rouses him, and he isn't particularly fond of being woken."
He must have said as much because he woke of his own accord and preferred to sleep as long as he needed. Still, just in case, I put a quiet question to her.
"Is there... a time by which the young master absolutely has to be up? Before breakfast, say. I don't think skipping the morning meal is especially good for a child who's still growing."
"...He does usually rise before the meal, but if he truly doesn't, might I ask a favor? I have breakfast to prepare, and Mr. Miguel is always busy with the gardens."
I smiled at the request and nodded. It was hardly beyond me, and it was common enough for young children to struggle with early mornings.
"Of course. In that case I ought to have him up by ten minutes before breakfast. Do you know around what time the meal is served?"
"Usually around seven-forty."
Around forty past meant I would need to wake him near seven-thirty if he was to sit down to eat at once, and it was nearly seven now, so I had about half an hour to spare.
"All right. If he isn't up by half past, I'll go wake him."
"Ordinarily I'd set one of the maids to it, but... if I leave it to you, Miss Kana, I can be that much more thorough with the meal. I'll ask just this once."
"Ah, no, it's nothing... There's no rule that says a tutor mustn't wake the young master, is there?"
And if it was Aiden fresh from sleep—Aiden, only nine years old—he would surely be unbearably sweet. Even recalling how we had talked in the room yesterday, he was still a child, and a little of that childishness had shown through. The sight of him at his most unguarded, just woken, would be adorable without a doubt. There would be some satisfaction in rousing him, and it might draw us a little closer. The thought of quietly waking him rose alongside the rest.
"Well, if that's how you see it, I'm only grateful. I'll be off, then. Breakfast won't prepare itself."
I watched her hurry away toward the kitchen, then quietly turned my own steps toward the garden. A short walk before breakfast was something I would never have done in my old life, but since coming here it had begun to appeal to me. I had about twenty-five minutes to spare, and I had been told yesterday that so long as I did not leave the grand ducal residence, it hardly mattered where inside I spent the time. To put what remained of the morning to at least a little better use, I set off at an easy pace.
"Ah, good morning, Mr. Miguel."
"Miss Kana, a good morning to you. What brings you to the garden at this hour?"
Hart Miguel, head butler of the mansion—an elderly gentleman whose hair was entirely white—welcomed me with a kindly smile.
"I was only wondering what I might do with the morning, and this beautiful garden caught my eye, so I thought I'd take a short walk."
"A walk first thing in the morning. You are quite the diligent sort yourself, Miss Kana."
"Not compared with you, Mr. Miguel. You were already tending this place before I even came out. The moment I get up, I'm nowhere near clearheaded enough to set straight to work."
Whether that had changed after I came into this body, or whether I had always been inclined that way, I couldn't say. I only felt a little more helpless against sleep than I once had been. Of course, it might also have been that I could get neither the coffee I used to drink nor any energy drinks in this place. What was certain was that rising itself was no great trouble, but the half-dreaming stretch afterward seemed to last a little longer.
"Well, there is a saying that beauties sleep a great deal, so perhaps that is it. You are something of a beauty yourself, after all, Miss Kana."
"A beauty... ahaha... do you think so...?"
I had been told often enough in life that I looked gentle, but no one had ever called me a beauty. I had not been living as a woman for very long to begin with, and even before that I had never once imagined my face would be particularly lovely. I had no intention of using this body to lure men, nor any thought of seeing anyone, and I went on reminding myself that my first goal was simply to survive. Looks that could win a person's favor were certainly a considerable advantage, and yet it was this very appearance that had drawn Aiden's suspicion. The weight on my chest, the body that looked altogether too mature—neither, as things stood, was easy to call a benefit.
My circumstances aside, Miguel's words were a sincere compliment, or something very near polite flattery, so I let none of that show and only smiled and nodded.
"Someone such as you is surely a good person, Miss Kana. Had you lived an ordinary life, there would certainly have been a fine match for you. I can only wonder why you came to this place."
"Ahaha... it isn't so much that there were no good prospects... Talk of marriage never came up at all."
Strictly speaking, that was the story of my past self rather than the present, but I had no family now either, so it was not wholly a lie. To someone who did not know what lay behind the words, it must have been a startling thing to hear. Miguel turned a puzzled, peculiar look on me.
"I should not have thought that not a single proposal would reach a young lady such as yourself. I find myself wishing to ask what in the world occurred."
"Hmm... nothing in particular. I was simply so busy with this and that that there was never time enough to speak of marriage. And now I'm so old that I hardly think of it at all."
There was more I left unsaid. Becoming this body did not mean I meant to be held in some man's room, or to press my mouth to his. I had even less intention of any of that. I was living in a woman's body only as of now. I was not a woman—not in the least. I had no thought of marrying anyone, of falling in love, or even of liking a man in that way. A changed body did not change the person inside it. This was a matter of conviction, and of what I believed a person to be.
"Hmm... and is that why you chose this path?"
"Hmm... not exactly for that reason. I simply wanted to do this work. How should I put it... if fate truly exists in this world, then I was drawn along by it."
In the end, I had made the choice in order to twist my own fate.
"Now that is an interesting thing to say."
"Ah, it seems nearly time for the meal. Won't you be eating, Mr. Miguel?"
"I must, of course. However, we butlers and maids take our meals apart from the household, so I fear we shall not be able to dine face to face."
"Hmm... that's a little disappointing. If I had my way, I'd rather we all talked together over a meal."
As we spoke, the scent of breakfast had begun to drift across the garden, so I turned and made for the mansion. Come to think of it, I wondered whether Aiden was up by now. With the thought of going to wake him still turning in my mind, I simply let that first morning slip quietly on.