I Am a Superstar
Super…!
“Ah, ueh…!”
I finished feeding him breakfast and set him down on the play mat, only for Luca to stretch his arms up again, demanding to be held.
I scooped the baby back up, strapped on the carrier, and began pacing the living room while jotting notes in a notebook.
Scratch, scratch.
On the first line of the blank page I wrote Channel Expansion Plan, then listed out the channel name and playlists one by one.
Channel name: Jun’s Life.
Playlists: Jun’s Workshop, Jun’s Music, Jun’s Kitchen. And last of all, “Jun’s Family and Friends,” where Luca’s videos went up—four in total.
The workshop and kitchen videos had the highest counts, followed by the music videos that went up once a week, with the family-and-friends clips—posted only intermittently—bringing up the rear.
And yet the ones racking up the highest views were Luca’s. Those same videos were what had sent the channel’s subscriber count skyrocketing.
Cassandra had explained that Luca’s clips spread and climbed the fastest because he checked every box of the universal 3B rule—Baby, Beauty, Beast. Most people simply couldn’t scroll past a thumbnail of chubby baby cheeks and a little round bottom.
But in the end that was only a flash of attention. Unless Luca’s face was revealed or proper parenting content started going up, the current subscriber numbers were bound to be a bubble.
Still, just as I had told Greg before, I had no intention of putting my child’s face on the internet until Luca was old enough to make that decision for himself.
Even so, Cassandra’s talk about “having to become a star” finally made perfect sense once I saw how thoroughly Luca’s videos were crushing the rest of the channel’s views.
“So in the end it really does mean Dad has to be the main character, huh, Luca…?”
“Yaaah…”
“Think Dad can do it…?”
“Aaaah…?”
Smack.
I kissed the top of the baby’s head—he had started parroting the ends of my sentences a lot lately—and gave him a tight squeeze. Then I planted another kiss on his cheek while he giggled.
Even if I can’t, I have to. If I have to, then I can.
I started by replaying every conversation I’d had about YouTube so far, then wrote down the direction the channel needed to take from here.
Channel direction: lifestyle influencer.
Reason 1. Crafting videos would eventually run out of fresh material, and people would lose interest.
Reason 2. Viewers formed much stronger attachments—and watched far more happily—when the person they liked actually appeared on screen.
Reason 3. The spectrum of content would widen dramatically.
For instance, even if a total novice dad like me couldn’t produce polished parenting content, the clumsy attempts themselves would become content.
And becoming an influencer came with some very real perks.
Ads and sponsorships.
The baby socks I’d received as a gift were only the beginning… The more famous the channel got, the more outside ads would start pouring in.
Publishing, lectures, business, even TV appearances!
I shook my head hard to banish Cassandra’s phantom voice trailing after me. I didn’t need to go that far to make a living. Honestly.
“All right, now…”
The real question was whether I actually had what it took to become a star. My friends all said I did. And that was…
Scratch, scratch.
“Ah, for real.”
The moment I wrote the word “mystique,” my temper flared and a muttered complaint slipped out on its own.
“What mystique? Freezing solid in the middle of summer…”
“Uuung?”
“Freezing, freezing… Luca, shall we go downstairs?”
I unclipped the carrier and set him on the mat; he immediately wriggled back into my arms.
“Aigoo. Usually you play just fine the second you’re done eating…”
I scooped up the clingy baby again and spun slowly around the living room. Then, wondering if I could get even a scrap of help, I typed things like self-esteem, superstar, and influencer into the search bar.
And ran straight into one of the top posts.
“…”
Nothing to lose, I figured, and clicked.
This method aims to boost your self-esteem and form a deeper relationship with yourself. Try it right now!
— Step 1. Stand in front of a large mirror and look into your own eyes!
Gazing at your reflection and feeling a deeper bond with your inner self is the first step.
— Step 2. Stare straight at the you in the mirror and say out loud the person you want to become, the things you want to have, or the things you must do!
Speaking words of encouragement to yourself cultivates a positive mindset!
*Regular practice is highly beneficial for raising self-esteem!
“…”
“Bubu!”
“…”
“Eeeeh… ah!”
“Aigo, Luca.”
Luca had grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked. One minute he wanted to be held; now he clearly wanted down again.
The second I set him inside the play-fence mat, he scooted away from me on his belly as if making a break for freedom, heading straight for the toys and stuffed animals.
What was with the mood swings today…?
Anyway. Seizing the moment, I planted myself in front of the full-length mirror by the front door.
I stared at my reflection, first smoothing the hair Luca had just mussed and straightening my clothes.
“…”
No, I can’t do this… Wait—what’s so hard about it? I can!
I ca—
Damn it.
I glared at my phone screen again.
No matter how I looked at it, the next post was going to be “If you want even better results, buy this book.” I reread the whole thing carefully, then scrolled through the string of testimonial-style comments claiming the method had worked for them.
I squeezed my eyes shut, opened them, squared my shoulders, and faced the mirror.
“I am…”
Ahem.
I cleared my throat and tried to think of the rest.
A superstar…
I hadn’t even said it out loud yet and my face was already burning. Bowing my head was the natural next step.
Hands braced on the mirror, staring at the floor, I felt a sudden, unfamiliar mix of respect and pity for celebrities.
“…?”
Or maybe not. Maybe they became celebrities precisely because they never needed this process.
I took another deep breath and lifted my head.
I quit my job, didn’t I? I have to earn at least as much as my old salary, don’t I? Before the Manito App disappears, the YouTube channel has to move beyond crafting videos and establish itself as a lifestyle channel.
This was the time for sincere effort.
“I am a super… star…”
My voice shrank dramatically after the first two words.
“I am a super… star… I am a super… star…! I am…!”
I’m going insane!
I clutched my head with both hands. I’m dying. Does this thing even work?!
“I am a super…”
Ding-dong!
“…!”
The sudden doorbell nearly made my heart drop out of my chest. Please tell me my voice hadn’t carried outside just now.
Luca was staring at me with round eyes, so I told him it was fine and called toward the front door.
“Who is it?”
From the other side came a happy, warm, generous voice.
“Good lunchtime! Uncle James brought sandwiches!”
I opened the door for James and checked the clock—eleven.
“Isn’t it a little early to call this lunchtime?”
James smiled happily.
“But if I wait until actual lunch, you might already have eaten something else.”
“Fair point.”
Maybe happy smiles were contagious. I smiled back and carefully arranged the sandwiches he had brought.
Food someone else made was always something to be grateful for, but when that someone was James the sandwiches were delicious too—just looking at them lifted my mood.
I poured two strong cups of coffee, set them in front of us, and sat down.
“I’ll gladly dig in, but is today some special occasion?”
“It’s a new menu I just developed. I wanted you to taste it and give me some feedback.”
“I’m honored. In that case I won’t hold back…”
Crunch.
Crisp enough to make an audible sound—the vegetables were that fresh—and the flavors of meat and cheese came through perfectly. Just like always, it was the best sandwich.
…But simply saying “it’s delicious” would feel too flat. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to be a food critic.
I chewed slowly, wondering how to properly praise this sandwich, when I suddenly noticed the bread felt chewier than usual.
It was ciabatta, the kind commonly used for sandwiches. Only…
I gently pinched the top of the ciabatta that generously wrapped the generous filling.
The golden-brown exterior was crisp, yet the inside stayed moist. Soft, yet springy…
“The bread tastes even better than usual today.”
A pretty lame observation, but my sincerity must have gotten through. His expectant face lit up brightly, and after swallowing the bite in my mouth I continued.
“It feels like the sandwich got a little more… premium…”
“Exactly!”
James snapped his thumb and middle finger together with a sharp crack and launched into his story with pure delight.
“Actually, Evan Brown recently asked me if I’d like to contribute as an author to the recipe book.”
That guy really was rounding up everyone around him efficiently. Still, it was something to celebrate, so I gave him a bright smile and asked,
“So that’s why you developed a new recipe?”
Unlike me, who was thinking of contributing desserts, James seemed set on the bread side.
“That’s right. Ciabatta, pita bread, baguettes…! Far too many people don’t understand how important the bread is—it handles both the beginning and the end of a sandwich’s flavor!”
Yeah, I honestly don’t know much about that either…
Of course my opinion didn’t matter, so I simply listened for a long while as James excitedly poured out his philosophy and personal stories about bread.
“That recipe book is going to sell incredibly well! I’ll be in it, and so will you, Jun—the one who supplies desserts to our café. I hope this helps Café 174 get famous too.”
“…Yeah, I really hope that happens.”
Wait—so the café’s actual name was Café 174?
I had always assumed 174 was just our villa’s address plate, never imagining it was the café’s official name. No wonder there had been two nameplates hanging there; it had always felt a little odd.
Still, I figured I’d keep calling it “the first-floor café.” Everyone on the second floor already did, after all.
After cheerful James left, I sat down again, feeling rather serious.
“…”
Looking at something like “Café 174” made it clear that a name really mattered.
Was “Jun’s Life” really enough of a name for a famous channel?
…Or did I simply have to become outstanding enough that the name became enough?
“…”
I let out a long sigh and stood in front of the mirror once more.
“I am…”
…I aaaaam!