Chapter 7: It's a Chicken Coop... (3)[R-18]
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 7: It's a Chicken Coop... (3)[R-18]
“If you bother me one more time, is the World Tree really going to get nice and toasty?”
At 237 years old, Elfriede was strong.
The Elders were plunged into despair by the shocking fact that even though four of them had charged at her simultaneously, they weren't even a match for her.
The advantage of numbers? Real-world experience? Refined techniques?
Those things only mattered when the gap was within a certain range.
In the face of overwhelming ‘power,’ ‘technique’ and ‘numbers’ were meaningless.
“Why no answer? Do you get it or not?”
“...We understand.”
Far from persuading her, the Elders were forced to accept her resignation under Elfriede's threat to burn down the World Tree.
“Oh, and one more thing.”
As if this wasn't terrible enough, Elfriede’s demands didn't stop there.
“I’m enrolling in the Empire’s Sacred Academy, so just so you know.”
“...Pardon?”
“Are you deaf in your old age? I said I’m going to the Academy to enjoy my youth. I’ve been stuck inside the World Tree my whole life, feeling like I was going to suffocate. Now that I’m young again, I might as well enjoy it.”
“W-we are sorry, but Lady Elfriede, you cannot enroll in the Academy.”
The flustered Elder Lee spoke up.
“Why? Why can’t I enroll?”
“...Well, that is...”
It wasn't because of her race as a High Elf.
Even though the Academy was located in the Human Empire, race was not an issue at all.
The gates of the Sacred Academy, where the Goddess Ellis guaranteed equality in her own name, were open to everyone.
In fact, even among Elves who usually avoided contact with other races, quite a few went to study at the Sacred Academy, and their satisfaction levels were quite high.
But...
“What? If you’ve started talking, finish it. Elder Lee.”
At Elfriede’s urging, Elder Lee took a deep breath.
To think she wants to enter as a freshman at an Academy where the average enrollment age is 20!!
If you’ve lived for 237 years, you should have some sense of shame!!
If you were a normal Elf, you’d be at the age where your granddaughter would be enrolling in the Academy!!
No matter how much you’ve undergone Metamorphosis, it’s only your body that’s become younger, not your mind! Isn't this a bit too shameless?!
“...Whew.”
He exhaled the breath he had been holding.
To say what was in his heart, the places where Elfriede had struck him earlier were still throbbing.
Honestly, at 237, it would be hard to even get in as a professor...
Excluding one 110-year-old Elf, the faculty of the Sacred Academy were in their 60s at most.
In other words, even the current professors were barely a quarter of Elfriede’s age.
“Until now, the Sacred Academy has never granted admission to anyone over the age of 30, regardless of race. So, for a 240-year-old Elf to enroll...”
“240 years old? Who?”
“....”
“Me? Oh, surely not. I’m 19, though? Look at my face. How is this the face of a 237-year-old? Anyone can see I’m 19.”
“....”
“What’s with those looks on your faces, Elders? Are you cold? Want me to warm you up? I happen to have a great piece of firewood right here.”
“No, it’s nothing...”
“Right, good choice. Don’t worry too much. Hardly anyone knows my true identity besides you Elders anyway, right? So just issue me a new ID. I’ll handle the rest. Oh, and the age on the ID should obviously be 19.”
Elfriede looked as if her mind was already made up.
They couldn't persuade her with words, and they couldn't beat her with strength.
In the end, all the Elders could do was plead.
“...Understood, Lady Elfriede. But we beg of you, please keep the fact that you’ve contracted with a Spirit King a secret. If you draw too much attention from the humans...”
“Oh, seriously! Am I a child? I said I’ll handle it. Don’t worry, I’ll only show them a High Spirit, so just go and make the ID already.”
“...Yes. We shall do so.”
At that moment, the Elders should not have trusted Elfriede’s ‘only.’
Even if it was the Empire’s top academy, it was an entrance exam for 20-year-olds who, from an Elf’s perspective, were no different from infants.
How difficult could the exam possibly be?
Since showing even a Mid-Class Spirit would guarantee a comfortable pass, they naturally thought Elfriede would only show a High Spirit of a single attribute.
[A Genius High Elf Who Contracted with High Spirits of All Four Elements at Age 19 Has Appeared!!!]
(Image of Elfriede covering her face as if embarrassed)
- Elfriede Carleya, a High Elf with stunning beauty and genius spirit magic skills, has appeared at the Sacred Academy entrance exam and is drawing massive attention!!
- Contracting with High Spirits of two or more attributes before age 20 has only happened three times in history... It’s a shock to find out she has all four, a first in history...
- On the other hand, there are voices of concern that if she can contract with the four Great High Spirits at the young age of 19, an Elf who finally succeeds in contracting with a Spirit King might actually appear....
That was until they received this breaking news at the Council of Elders.
“Gah!... Wheeze!... My... dream... of making... Elves... Great... Again.... Cough!... My... heart... Gasp... Choke!”
“E-Elder Three! Get a hold of yourself! Elder Four!! Elder One, what are you doing! Help him!”
“...We worked so hard to hide Elfriede... and in a single moment... it all collapses... How futile, how utterly futile.”
“Hahahaha!!! We Elves are doomed! Now the humans will rule the world!”
And so, Elfriede, who was about to enter the Sacred Academy under the identity of a 19-year-old (237-year-old) legendary genius beauty spirit mage...
[Author: UseNiceWordsOnly■ = Elfriede Carleya]
[Don't these Dynamic Nickname bastards lately have no idea where they stand?][9]
They think they’re on the same level as Fixed Nicks. All these Dynamic bastards need to be ground up and turned into fertilizer, for real...
She was busy using the Gallery, switching back and forth between logging out and logging in.
ㅇㅇ(74.803): Wow, that’s a thought only an Elf would have.
ㄴ UseNiceWordsOnly■: Then is this a comment a Demon would leave?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(74.803): Is it a universal rule to summon a Demon the moment someone disses an Elf? ㅋㅋㅋ You think only Demons hate Elves? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㅇㅇ(125.840): Please stop the Dynamic Nickname hate.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840): If you keep hating, we’ll have no choice but to fight back with hate. I don’t want to do that... Please, just use nice words like your nickname says...
ㄴ UseNiceWordsOnly■: If you’re salty, go make a Fixed Nick. Why the hell do you keep using a Dynamic Nickname? For the record, I’ve never used a Dynamic Nickname in my life.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840): Not everyone has to use a Fixed Nick...
ㄴ UseNiceWordsOnly■: Not everyone has to not hate Dynamic Nicknames~
WholesomeNickname32■: Not all Dynamic users are bad. There are plenty of people like you who are Fixed Nicks but worse than Dynamic users.
ㄴ UseNiceWordsOnly■: Whatever ㅋ The bastards who defend Dynamic users are always the ones using multiple Dynamic accounts themselves.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840): Nickname32 bro, just don't look at the Gallery for 30 minutes.
ㄴ WholesomeNickname32■: Thanks...
Elfriede smirked as she saw the Dynamic user’s comment.
“Yeah, go ahead and try to drop a tactical nuke, it won't work~ I already blocked your IP~ What are you gonna do now that I’ve blocked you?”
No matter how much a Dynamic user acted out, they were invisible once blocked.
This was an absolute truth of the ■■ Gallery.
After Elfriede finished pouring out her hatred for Dynamic users, she saw a post with a title she really liked.
[10 Logical Reasons Why Elves Are Superior to Demons.reason]
“I can’t scroll past this.”
It was obvious that Elves were superior to those dark-skinned bastards without needing reasons, but it was worth clicking just for the effort of finding ten reasons.
[Author: ㅇㅇ(144.144)]
[10 Reasons Why Elves Are Superior to Demons.reason]
(An unspeakably disgusting and horrifying image.jpg)
Hate for hate. Malice for malice.
—BAM!!
“Aaaaagh! My eyes! You crazy bastard! Using a VPN to drop a tactical nuke first thing in the morning!!! Aaaaaaaagh!!”
‘The era of the Elves is over...’
Hearing Elfriede’s scream from beyond the door, Elder Lee sensed the end of the Elven race.
*
[Today’s Fapping Material.jpg] - Divine Power Vessel■
The title was enticing and the author was appealing, but I didn't click it immediately.
The reason was simple.
It was because of a single post pinned to the Gallery notices.
[Author: ㅇㅇ(100.401)]
[In the Gallery, you must be careful of provocative titles, .jpgs, and Dynamic Nicknames.]
the post you mindlessly click might be a tactical nuke.
Always doubt, and doubt again.
ㅇㅇ(122.37): Seriously, be careful ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Penelope Depodil■: What happens if I’m not careful?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): Why don't you try it and find out ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴ Penelope Depodil■: Okay, I won't try it.
Penelope Depodil■: Please, be careful, and then be careful again... There’s a reason this is in the notices....
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): "Treatment complete."
ㄴ Penelope Depodil■: ...I reflect on my past self for not doubting. I am simply amazed by the senior who endured this.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): Huh? I haven't been hit by it, so I wouldn't know?
ㅇㅇ(218.104): You motherf*cker, you should’ve said something before I looked!! Aaaagh!! I’m going crazy!! I’m losing my mind!!!
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): Another one bites the dust.
ㄴ FlameSandwich■: What the hell is a tactical nuke that everyone’s making such a fuss? Now I actually want to see it.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(218.104): Fck, fck, seriously, there’s no benefit in knowing. Be grateful you don't know.
VirginAppraiser■: ...Non...vir...gin...(Soul leaving body emote)
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(100.401): Appraiser bro, you went to check it again... Your professional spirit is the GOAT.
ㄴ ILoveTenantFarmers■: As expected of the Virgin Appraiser.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): Your dedication protects the virgins of this Gallery today as well. Thank you.
Just looking at the notices, even though the author wasn't a Dynamic user, I could tell that ‘Today’s Fapping Material.jpg,’ which used both a ‘provocative title’ and ‘.jpg,’ was extremely dangerous.
Furthermore, the very first post I saw when I accessed the Gallery said this:
[Author: Magical Girl Urara■] = [Laplace Mapleflower]
[NEVER! Do not click the post titled Today’s Fapping Material.jpg!!!!][6]
It only contains unrighteous photos!!! Do not click it under any circumstances!!
ILoveTenantFarmers■: Why is she actually making sense for once? My stomach’s been upset for three days since I saw that post.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): For real, it’s like a pseudo-tactical nuke. So gross.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(100.401): Hmm, is it really that bad...
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840): Honestly, calling it a tactical nuke is a bit of an exaggeration. Nothing will ever top that until the Gallery shuts down.
ㄴ ILoveTenantFarmers■: Did you guys even click Today’s Fapping Material? It’s easily 0.5 tactical nuke level.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37): Why would I click that? Do you eat sh*t just because it’s better than diarrhea?
Fortunately, I hadn't experienced what a tactical nuke was yet, but at this point, not clicking seemed like the obvious right answer.
In fact, I wouldn't have clicked it if the author wasn't Yuris Petunia, the Saintess Candidate.
But...
Surely a Saintess Candidate wouldn't post something like that?
I wouldn't go so far as to call us acquaintances, but I had seen Lady Yuris’s face often at the church I attended during my year at the Academy.
If she was the same Lady Yuris who never acted superior despite being a Saintess Candidate and was always the first to reach out to those in pain...
She would never post anything close to a tactical nuke.
...So, let’s just give it a shot.
If you don't take risks, you might be safe, but you'll never find new fapping material.
I clicked the post, placing my faith in the Saintess Candidate.
[Author: Divine Power Vessel■] = [Yuris Petunia]
[Today’s Fapping Material.jpg][0]
(Mommy milkers overflowing even when held with both hands.jpg)
If they’re smaller than this, the baby will starve to death...
"Sex."
My faith had been rewarded.