Plan Change and No One Left
Plan change, and then there was no one left. Come to think of it, I already used that line last time, didn't I? It's the kind of cliché opening you see in those web novels online that everyone hates. Slap something like that at the start and readers will flee in droves. You know, the whole "I don't recognize this ceiling" or "I'm just your average high school student" nonsense.
"B-Boss, are we really going to search this place…"
"Of course we are. Time for some delightful corpse farming."
Lati had her nose pinched shut, trembling like a leaf—whether from fear or disgust, I couldn't tell. Watching those small, delicate rabbit ears quiver made me want to blow into them. Of course, after the artillery barrage and Tirga's overwhelming power, the Holy Empire's army had gone from being an army to… well, not much of anything at all.
The stench of blood was so thick even someone with a sinus condition would've had their nose cleared out. The corpses were mangled beyond recognition, reduced to bloody lumps. Yeah, that was definitely unpleasant to look at. Lati finally couldn't hold it in and vomited. I patted her on the back.
"Can't be helped. Cover your nose and mouth with a handkerchief and hang onto what I give you."
"I'm sorry, Boss."
Well, she was pretty and cute, so I'd let it slide. If some vicious, rotten woman had pulled that stunt, I'd have given her electric shock therapy on the spot.
Tirga and I worked side by side, rifling through the bodies and scooping up anything that looked valuable. Naturally, we made sure to double-tap any corpses that still looked somewhat intact. You see that trick in dramas and movies all the time—playing dead or hiding among the bodies to survive. There might've been someone still breathing.
"Aaaagh!"
Well, what do you know. There actually was. Tirga had been zapping people left and right with lightning, and one guy was screaming in agony. Tirga raised her twin hammers to smash his skull in, but I stopped her. We'd found a survivor and a potential prisoner—time to extract some information.
"P-Please, spare me. I have a sick mother waiting at home."
"Who asked?"
Hearing that line made me feel like some kind of cartoon villain. Well, I was the villain here. Still, that line was way too cliché. Like anyone cares if your mom exists or not.
"Eek!"
"I'm the one asking questions. If you answer my questions with more questions or try to dodge, things are going to get unpleasant. Who are you, and where was this army headed?"
"I-I'm Brolt. Our Holy Empire army was moving to crush the Red Army in the north."
Just like Tamara had said. And calling the revolutionary army the "Red Army" pretty much confirmed it. Well, they were the Red Army. Some historical reference popped into my head, but I let it go.
"Are there any other units besides this one heading north?"
"Yes. Numerous nobles are leading their forces north as we speak."
Listening to Brolt, I finally understood why Tamara had looked so grim. They hadn't even finished dealing with the noble factions yet, and now paladins and well-trained soldiers capable of beating that werewolf Furry were coming as reinforcements. The revolutionary army was surrounded on all sides—it wasn't an exaggeration.
This wasn't something that could be solved by just killing a few thousand people. The Holy Empire was launching a full-scale northern crusade? Even Tirga couldn't handle that many troops alone. At this point, maybe it was better to drop the whole communist cosplay and join the crusade instead. Yeah, those commie bastards didn't have any money anyway.
"Alright, got it. Thanks for the info. You can rest now."
I gestured to Tirga, and she instantly crushed the guy's head with her hammer. Once you've committed a massacre, you can't leave survivors or witnesses alive.
Still, trying to loot this many corpses with just two people was exhausting. In the end, I focused on the ones wearing expensive-looking armor—knights and officers. We stripped the good weapons and armor to sell later, which gave us enough gacha currency. Some bodies even had rings, necklaces, or gold trinkets. At least we could recoup some of the shell costs.
"Master, there's another army approaching from afar. Should we kill them too?"
"Nah, we've done enough. We've got plenty of loot. Time to retreat."
The tank was running low on shells anyway. Fighting more would be bad for business and just plain tiring. Come to think of it, in a medieval fantasy world, wouldn't capturing nobles or knights for ransom be more profitable? Damn, why was I only thinking of that now? Next time, I shouldn't kill everyone—I'll keep the important ones alive as hostages.
Lati, Tirga, and I quickly left the scene. Once we were clear of the sea of blood, Lati finally removed her mask and looked like she could breathe again.
"You held up well, Lati."
"Boss, you're really something else. How can you rummage through such a horrific scene like it's nothing…"
"It's all for survival. War's a damn profitable business when you win. Here, this is your bonus."
You've got to reward loyal subordinates. I held out a pouch full of silver coins to Lati, but she didn't take it. Refusing money? She clearly didn't understand the terror of capitalism yet.
"What are you doing? Take it."
"But for a slave, this kind of—"
"What nonsense. You're not a slave. If I wanted to treat you like one, I wouldn't have removed that cumbersome bomb collar. So take it."
"Understood."
Hard work deserves proper compensation. Of course, Tirga was a summon and didn't need money, so I'd have to pay her in other ways. She'd probably be working me hard tonight.
Time to change the plan. I'd told the revolutionaries I'd strut around and smash the Holy Empire's reinforcements, but there were way too many of them. Besides, we'd already wiped out part of their support, so it wasn't exactly a lie.
"Master, where are we headed now?"
"Time to find new work. We're mercenaries, after all."
"Weren't we supposed to work for those furry beastmen?"
"Doesn't add up. At least the elves paid well."
Revolution or whatever—it only mattered if it turned into money and profit. Truth be told, the loot from raiding that fortress had been disappointing, and I had no desire to stay long in the north with its freezing PTSD-inducing weather.
Should we go back to working with the fascist elves? No, if we headed straight to the Empire like that, Lati's mental health would probably take a nosedive. There was still money owed by Ranea, but something told me going to Trufus Castle was a bad idea.
The plan to rack up achievements and contact Blanov was scrapped. First, we'd make serious money from the Holy Empire and summon plenty of strong, powerful units. As we drove along the main road, a rather impressive city surrounded by high walls came into view.
"We've made some cash, so let's do some shopping and enjoy ourselves there today."
"Ooh, are we getting good food?"
"Of course. When have you ever seen this master act stingy?"
But we hit an unexpected wall. We had no way to prove our identities or any kind of pass to enter the city. Back in the Empire, we'd gotten by pretending to be mercenaries hanging around elves, but this was Holy Empire territory. Just saying "I'm a mercenary" probably wouldn't cut it. Would they really let us in that easily? And if we mentioned working with the Nazi elves, we'd either get treated like lunatics or arrested. We'd done way too many shady things for that.
We dismissed the vehicle and threw on our robes. Then we watched from a distance to see if anyone was heading into the city. The plan was to grab some passerby, ask them to pretend we were part of their group, and slip in together. It was pathetic, but we didn't have many options. Bribery was a last resort—there was no guarantee everyone loved money as much as I did. It could backfire or fail, which would be a hassle.
Should I gigantify Tirga and threaten the city for money? Or maybe try UFC? No, I came here looking for work, not to start a war and smash everything. That would just make the bounty on my head higher than whatever I earned. Too much trouble.
"Master, how long are we going to wait?"
"Just a bit longer, Tirga. Damn, I didn't expect to get stuck here."
While we waited, a group that looked like adventurers appeared, walking toward the city. Perfect timing. We boldly stepped out and blocked their path. This made us look like highway robbers, which hurt my pride, but now wasn't the time to worry about appearances.
"Who the hell are you people?"
"Oh dear, my apologies, fellow adventurers. If it's not too much trouble, could I ask a small favor?"
"A favor?"
"Would this be the way to that city?"
"It is."
"In that case, could you pretend we're part of your group and let us enter the city with you? I'll make it worth your while. We lost our adventurer licenses and are in quite a bind."
The adventurers conferred among themselves and readily agreed. Thanks to them, we made it safely inside the city. I offered the pouch of coins to the one who seemed to be their leader, but he refused. Instead, he made an unexpected proposal.
"No need for payment. It wasn't that big a deal. This is too much money."
"Is that so?"
"You said you're adventurers too, right? Want to take on a job together?"
This felt weird. When I first arrived in this world, I'd wiped out a bunch of adventurers because of a misunderstanding. Now I was supposed to work with them? No—change your perspective. This was a fantasy world. Experiencing the adventurer lifestyle, that classic romantic fantasy trope, was something I should try at least once. I'd been so focused on money that I'd forgotten about the romance of it all. If you only care about efficiency in a gacha game, it stops being fun. Sometimes you need to embrace the romance and other kinds of enjoyment. Don't just raise overpowered meta units—occasionally invest in cute favorites even if they're not the strongest. It's the same reason my mom didn't raise me just because I was some broken character.