The Fortune-Seekers
Even with the alcohol still in my system, my eyelids felt heavy — yet sleep refused to come. No ordinary man could have snored through a situation like this. The most beautiful woman alive, the woman I had longed for like a dream, was lying half-naked right beside me. If I could have fallen asleep easily under those circumstances, I would have started to wonder whether I was gay or castrated.
Regret washed over me in waves. I should have said I wanted to. I should have asked to go all night… Would she really have done whatever I asked? What was this woman truly thinking? Was any of this sincere? Was she genuinely a shaman possessed by a god, simply obeying whatever her Jusin commanded? Unlike Yunchae, who slept so peacefully, I couldn't even bring myself to look at her bare chest. I turned onto my side and lay there thinking for a long time, until finally, as dawn approached, sleep claimed me without my noticing.
I jolted awake. Some inexplicable sense of unfamiliarity had dragged me out of sleep. Sure enough, Yunchae was no longer beside me. For a fleeting moment I thought she might have gone home, but then I heard sounds from the bathroom and knew she was still there. An unnameable relief flooded through me.
A moment later the bathroom door opened and Yunchae stepped out. She was still wearing nothing but her panties. Looking at me, she said,
"You're up? I've got first period today, so I need to leave soon. What about you?"
I stammered,
"I've got… afternoon classes."
Yunchae nodded and began gathering the underwear and clothes she had discarded, dressing herself piece by piece.
"Then go back to sleep. I'll head out first. And after classes today, come over to my place."
I lifted my head.
"Huh?"
Still dressing, Yunchae went on,
"I'll make you dinner. You always just buy takeout, don't you."
Once she was fully clothed, she hurried toward the door.
"See you later."
Even after Yunchae had gone, I sat staring blankly at the door. I couldn't collect my thoughts at all. What even was this relationship? Suddenly we were dating. And she was proposing we live together. I found myself wondering whether this woman had some hidden agenda. A scammer? But I had nothing worth stealing. Had she picked the wrong mark? Did she think I was some chaebol heir? No — one look at this pathetic studio would kill that idea. Then… my kidneys?
No matter how hard I turned it over, no answer came. Was she simply extremely promiscuous? I lacked the experience to judge, but according to her, what we had done had been her first time. It hadn't even been proper sex, really — just penetration. Even to my inexperienced eyes, she didn't seem like the type to throw herself around carelessly. That left only one conclusion. She really was a woman possessed by a god. Then why me? Only one answer presented itself for that as well. Because her god had told her to…
I lay around lost in thought for a while, then finally got up and went to my afternoon classes. Today, as always, nothing from the lecture entered my ears. Somehow the afternoon hours passed, and I left campus. There was a brief flicker of hesitation, but I set out for Yunchae's house all the same.
Climbing the hill toward Yunchae's house, I looked up and saw the sun was setting. I felt no real awareness of what I was doing, and found myself reflecting on how the past few days had been a whirlwind. What was the advantage of being young? For now, I decided, I would simply go with the flow. Once I made that decision, my steps felt much lighter, and a resolve settled in me to meet whatever Yunchae said head-on, actively.
When I arrived at Yunchae's house, the front gate stood open. Assuming she had left it that way for me, I walked in without a second thought. The moment I stepped into the entryway, I saw strangers sitting inside. Several middle-aged women were seated there, and the eyes that turned on me were thick with suspicion. Yunchae was among them; the instant she saw me she sprang up and pulled me outside. Panic was written all over her face.
"I'm sorry. I never thought these people would just show up like this all of a sudden."
I realized this was the first time I had seen genuine emotion on her face.
"Who are they?"
I asked with a worried look, half-afraid they might be debt collectors or something of the sort.
"I told you I… used to be a shaman. Back when I was hard up for money, I did fortune-telling for people for a while. Like I said, my god isn't the kind that appears easily or possesses someone on demand. In the end I spouted nonsense a few times, but somehow it happened to come true, so now a few of them just show up out of the blue like this."
I nodded. Actually, I felt relieved.
"I told them I can't channel the spirit anymore, but they keep insisting I read their fortunes anyway."
Now I understood the full picture. No matter what Yunchae said, people simply kept asking her to tell their fortunes. I said to her,
"So basically, you'd like these people to leave?"
Yunchae nodded, looking a little surprised by my words. I walked back into the house. She simply stared at me with startled eyes. When I stepped into the living room again, every woman's attention locked onto me. Who the hell are you? was written all over their faces.
I was confident I could draw their attention onto myself. With the verbal skill I had honed since childhood, I was sure I could gather people's interest and tell them a story they could accept. I collected their gazes, stood before them, and smiled. Their faces, still thick with distrust, did not change.
"Ladies. Let me begin by explaining why I am here."
I carefully measured my tone and volume so that every word would sink straight into their ears.
"I am the person designated by this shaman's god. That god's divine power is nearly spent, so rather than simply demonstrating its strength through the shaman's body and mouth, it wished to pass its power on to someone else."
I put flesh and blood on Yunchae's story.
"In other words, that god can no longer wield its power. And that also means this shaman can no longer convey the god's voice to any of you."
The women's brows furrowed. I had fully expected that reaction to a story like this.
"So the god told me this. When its power was full, by answering people's faith and wishes, it too gained the strength to attain enlightenment. But it can no longer do that — and so, instead, it would teach all of you a way to possess that kind of power yourselves."
A few of the women murmured among themselves.
"Because you are human, you cannot possess the miraculous powers or spiritual abilities of a god. So you must do what you can do. And that is nothing other than faith."
After all the women had left, Yunchae was staring at me with a blank expression.
"I'd heard about you from Yongjin. That when you talk, people get hooked and go right along with it… At the time I just thought it was a funny story. When I heard your lectures, I only thought you spoke well and were well-organized…"
I was washing down the thirst of talking for so long with a glass of water. In any case, the women had all left in good spirits. I was certain they would not come looking for Yunchae again. I had asked them not to rely on a god's powers, but to live with conviction in their own hearts. My well-structured, slightly embellished speech seemed to have moved them. A little white lie seemed harmless enough, and I appeared to have succeeded in stirring their hearts.
Yunchae stared at me for a long while with wonderstruck eyes, then ran into the kitchen and began preparing food. Before long she had a full table laid out. Between the passion of talking for so long and the eternal hunger of a student living alone, I polished off two bowls of rice right there at the table. Throughout the meal, Yunchae barely touched her food, staring at me fixedly the entire time. There was no way I wouldn't recognize that look in her eyes. I found myself smiling. Right now Yunchae was astonished by my gift of speech. It was a familiar look — one I had received often for years.
After clearing the table, Yunchae brought out fruit and a cup of coffee. It had been a long time since I had been treated to a full course of home cooking like this. She peeled fruit, set it in front of me, and sat demurely watching me.
"Why aren't you eating?"
When I asked, Yunchae still spoke with a dazed expression.
"I was almost ready to give up."
I stopped mid-chew. What was this all of a sudden?
"I have no friends, no family. All because of this so-called god stuck to me. Becoming a shaman was something I hated more than death. That thing told me that if it threw me at you, it wouldn't cling to me and torment me anymore. If that was the case, I thought it didn't matter who the person was."