You Are My Destiny
“Anyone?” That was a little strange, wasn’t it? Because “anyone” was almost certainly pointing at me.
“But… earlier, I started thinking maybe God was right after all. I started thinking maybe you really are the true god I ought to offer my virginity to, and entrust my whole life to.”
I forced myself not to spit out the fruit still in my mouth and managed to answer.
“What are you talking about? Ever since I was a kid, all I’ve done is tell people funny stories and enjoy watching them have a good time.”
I tried to lighten the suddenly heavy mood, but she didn’t so much as flinch as she kept going.
“Those aunties’ faces—they looked completely taken in by your stories.”
I waved a hand.
“Don’t say things like that. I’ve always just liked talking in front of people. Today was nothing more than that.”
Yoonchae shook her head. Then she stood up all at once and took my hand.
“Today I’m doing this because I want to, so don’t you dare refuse…”
She pulled me by the hand into the bedroom. I hurriedly swallowed what was left in my mouth. Seriously—we were in the middle of eating, and now this…? Yoonchae started spreading a blanket on the floor. It wasn’t that I disliked it, and it wasn’t that I hadn’t been hoping for something either, but her sudden change of attitude still threw me a little. The thought I’d had when we first came up to this house came back to me—that I wouldn’t refuse, that I’d simply go wherever I was led. I didn’t pull away.
Once the blanket was laid out, Yoonchae undressed me. I stayed still and let her do as she pleased. My chest felt ready to burst. When she pulled down my underwear, I quietly closed my eyes. This feeling, this atmosphere—it was so good. After she had stripped me completely, she stood looking at me and took off her own clothes. Yoonchae’s radiant naked body appeared again. Fully undressed, she came close and spoke in a small voice.
“Honestly, I don’t have any experience, so I want to give you more pleasure than this, but for now I’ll do the best I can. And I’ll work at it from here on.”
She laid me down on the blanket. Up to that point she had moved almost like a professional—but after that, the only word that came to mind was clumsy. With awkward hands she took hold of my cock, already hard, and slowly stroked it up and down, staring as if she had never touched a man’s body before and found it endlessly fascinating.
I half-expected the next step to be her mouth, the way it always went in the videos I’d watched—but Yoonchae let go of me and rose over my body instead. Squatting over my lower belly as if she were about to pee, she lined my cock up against her entrance. I felt myself begin to push into her, bit by bit. She was incredibly tight.
Yoonchae’s face twisted; she clenched her teeth. Without meaning to, I spoke.
“Ah… does it hurt?”
She nodded.
“Yeah… it hurts so much…”
Not knowing what else to do, I took hold of her hips. The moment my hands met the soft skin of Yoonchae’s ass, it felt as if blood flooded through my entire body all at once—like that childhood trick where someone grips your wrist hard to make it “go electric,” then slowly lets go so the blood rushes back. With that same rush, Yoonchae’s hips sank down, and the hands holding her settled against my own pelvis.
“Haa… haa…”
She planted her hands on my chest, leaned forward, and panted hard. With every rough breath her breasts rose and fell. They were exactly the size and shape I loved—not small by any means, yet with no sagging or softness gone slack. When my eyes locked on them, she pulled my arms up and pressed my hands to her chest. I thought I might cry.
After catching her breath for a moment, Yoonchae began to lift and lower her hips in small motions. Even as she moved, the furrow between her brows never eased. Clumsy as it was, it was more than enough to work my cock. It didn’t take long before I started to feel myself getting close.
Years earlier we had all sat through sex education under the heading of medical knowledge. What I was doing now was nothing like the marital act we had been taught about, and yet the old lessons on pregnancy and childbirth floated back—contraception methods, all the talk about having children…
Unlike masturbating alone, I couldn’t control the intensity of the stimulation myself. In a sudden panic I said to her,
“I… I think I’m gonna come. Move—”
Yoonchae frowned, opened the eyes she had squeezed shut, and answered,
“My period starts tomorrow. It’s a safe day. Just do it…”
I wanted nothing more than that myself, so hearing her say it first was pure relief. Then she drove a dagger straight into that relief.
“But if a baby comes, we’ll have to keep it.”
My eyes went wide. My whole body locked up. It wasn’t that I hated the idea. If I could marry a woman like Yoonchae, I couldn’t ask for anything more—it would be the best thing imaginable. But I was still a student, with no job and no way to support anyone. Reality slammed through my head like a shock, and a million volts of electricity seemed to race through me. Then I started to come. Even Yoonchae’s awkward rocking of her hips stopped.
My head swam. The strength drained from the hands that had been holding her breasts. My arms fell to the floor, and Yoonchae’s upper body collapsed onto mine as if she had simply given out. Her chest pressed against mine, and her rough breath brushed my ear.
After nothing but ragged panting, she whispered close to me,
“You really might be my destiny. I think maybe I was born for you.”
Whoa—wasn’t that going a little far, and a little fast? Besides, Yoonchae had been born before I was.
“From now on, this body is yours. Do whatever you want with it. Even if you don’t use it yourself, no one else will ever lay a hand on it without your permission.”
Even the same idea, said that way, took on a strange flavor. I closed my eyes and let the heavy post-orgasm clarity wash over me. What on earth did this woman keep saying? What was I even doing right now—I was suddenly, fully aware of it. A little later Yoonchae climbed off me and lay down at my side.
Neither of us said a word. The day before yesterday, yesterday, and today had all been different. Yoonchae’s attitude, the way she looked at me—everything had kept shifting across those three days. Sleep was beginning to pull at me when I heard her voice.
“Asleep?”
I turned my head. Yoonchae was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling with her eyes closed.
“No…”
“Want to do it again?”
Of course I did. All night long, if I could… but the words never made it out of my throat.
“If you want to, just say so anytime. If I’m asleep, wake me up and do it. It’s yours, so do whatever you want with it. Got it?”
“……Yeah…”
Yoonchae opened her eyes and looked at me.
“Tomorrow’s the weekend, so sleep in as long as you like…”
I nodded. She closed her eyes again. Looking at her face, I saw the whole situation with fresh eyes. I liked this woman, but I had never imagined things would unfold in a form like this. More than thinking it was good, the honest way to put it was that it felt unreal, as if I were dreaming. And so, watching the sleeping Yoonchae, I lay awake late into the night.
I fell asleep late and slept in. Half-asleep I registered the sound and movement of Yoonchae getting up, but I was too drowsy to do anything about it. From outside came the clatter of her working in the kitchen. It reminded me of childhood mornings when my mother used to move around in the kitchen.
My mother lived in the countryside now. Not because she had been born and raised there, or because she loved rural life, or because she wanted to farm—nothing like that. We had lived in Seoul. I was born in Seoul. We were very poor, but we still lived in the metropolis. I had no other family. Only my mother. She was an unwed mother. My father had left before he even knew she was pregnant with me, and after that there was no way to reach him, she said. She gave birth alone and raised me alone. She worked at a restaurant—a fairly large Korean place. They recognized how hard she worked, so the pay was decent enough that raising me hadn’t been a real struggle, she always said.
The reason I talked so much in front of people, I suspected, was that when I went home there were no siblings to keep me company, so I wanted people to stay by my side for as long as possible. To keep from being lonely, I had unconsciously learned how to seize their hearts. That was how it began, at least—though later it gradually changed.
Around the time I failed my college exams and was preparing to retake them, the restaurant where my mother worked opened a branch in the provinces. As someone they trusted, she was offered the manager’s post, and she went down without a second thought and had lived there ever since. So she and I were a mother and son with a very special bond, and yet a strangely distant one—we had not spent that much time together.