The Guard Unit
For a while we held that standoff, locked on her terrifying gaze, until a faint smile touched her cold face and the tension finally broke. She spoke.
"From this day forward, I will give my utmost for Cheonsiman-gyo and for Jisin-nim — as pure as I was on the day I was born."
She recited the lines Yunchae had written. Then the woman turned slowly toward the door, paused, looked back at me, and offered a perfectly respectful bow.
"I will take my leave for today."
She drifted out with unhurried grace. Even after she was gone I sat staring at the closed door, still half dazed. Who the hell was that woman? And what was Myeongsuk really aiming for? It struck me then that I knew almost nothing about Myeongsuk. I had been shoved into this whole affair before I could even think, and I had simply trusted the people around me on vague faith.
When I thought about it, the others were no different. I knew nothing about Yongjin beyond the fact that he was my senior. With Yunchae it was even more true. She had spoken about her past now and then, but that hardly meant I knew everything about her. More than that, I could never truly grasp what she was thinking. Did she honestly believe I was the replacement for her body spirit?
Myeongsuk had joined us almost by accident. That she had a husband and a child was the sum total of what I knew about her. We had accepted her because she could fill a need we had, and that was how we had lived until now. Miryeong had been brought in by Yongjin, so I had never asked her a single question. About her, I was a blank page.
Until now some part of me had been thinking, this little thing. I had never expected to go all-in on something like this; I had figured I would dabble and walk away. But time had pushed me, people had shoved me from behind, and I had ended up here — and contrary to what I had planned, my present and my future were being built for me. If I did not take a careful look at the present that had already been made, my future would be shaped without my will as well. Surrounded by people whose true faces I could not even see, a heavy question settled over me: was I allowed to waste my life like this?
That was when Yunchae knocked and came in without waiting for an answer. Expressionless, she approached and said,
"Today's schedule is finished."
I stepped toward her as she turned to leave and caught her wrist. Yunchae looked back at me and, without a word, began to undress from the sheer hanbok she was wearing. I took hold of her arm as she started to open the front panel.
"No. Tonight I want to talk with you for a while."
She studied my face a moment, then nodded.
"Shall I bring some drinks?"
I nodded. Yunchae closed the front of her clothes again and left the room. A short while later she returned naked, carrying a tray with cups and dried snacks. She set the liquor on the table and we sat across from each other and began to drink. I wanted a serious conversation tonight. Yunchae spoke first.
"That last woman who came in… she isn't here for missionary work, is she?"
I was startled. Then again, Yunchae was no fool; she would have sensed that the atmosphere was anything but ordinary. I drank without answering.
"That woman was waxed. Should I do it too? It looked so clean and nice."
I burst out laughing. I had been trying to have a heavy talk, and hearing her say something like that made her seem endearing. I looked at her.
"That isn't something you need to ask me. If Yunchae wants to, she does it…"
She set her cup down on the table.
"For the past few days Myeongsuk-ssi has brought it up several times. That we need to build your stature as the cult leader of Jisin-nim. Whether you are truly a savior or not, once we chose this path, all of us have to deify you. Yongjin and Miryeong-ssi seemed to agree."
I looked at the forehead of Yunchae, who was staring down.
"What do you think?"
"I've told you many times. I believe Jisin-nim truly is the replacement for my body spirit. I don't think deification is especially necessary. For me personally, Jusin-nim is already a god."
I poured liquor into my empty cup.
"You hated your body spirit, didn't you? You resisted, and you never even received the initiation."
Yunchae nodded.
"I did. But the fact that I acted that way means I believed my body spirit actually existed. You can't understand it unless you've lived through it. That body spirit tried to control me however it pleased — but Jisin-nim doesn't. In any case, nothing changes the fact that I am Jisin-nim's servant."
She lifted her head a little. Her eyes looked faintly unfocused.
"Myeongsuk-ssi said that while it's right for me to serve closest to Jisin-nim, it would be hard for me to do it alone. I didn't understand what she meant — until I saw that woman Jeongmi today. I know so little about men, and right now I'm not receiving any oracles from the body spirit, so I had no idea what to do. But that Jeongmi woman seemed to have far more experience of the world than her age would suggest. I think it would be fine for someone like her to take one side of Jisin-nim."
I was a little surprised by the unexpected answer.
"You don't feel any jealousy?"
Yunchae shook her head.
"No. Jisin-nim can possess me, but I cannot possess Jisin-nim. This is a clear hierarchy. I must love Jisin-nim absolutely — but if Jisin-nim happens to like me, that is nothing more than my honor."
Heh… This woman was growing a little more serious by degrees. I had been thinking of myself as someone spinning lies, exploiting the weak hearts of people and the public — but this woman was sincere. To be completely honest, the thought even crossed my mind that she might be slightly unhinged. I was a little afraid of what else might come out if we kept talking. I gently changed the subject.
"What do you think Jeongmi and Myeongsuk are aiming for?"
Yunchae lifted her cup and held a mouthful of liquor for a moment. I watched her throat work as she swallowed.
"I think Myeongsuk-ssi wants to create a guard unit for Jisin-nim. Of course, I'm a member of that unit too."
I laughed outright.
"A guard unit? If you're going to make something like that you need sturdy men. What good is a delicate, sexy woman?"
Yunchae did not laugh with me.
"According to Myeongsuk-ssi, there will be men as well. And of course more women will be gathered too."
The smile left my face and my brow furrowed.
"Why the hell is something like that even necessary?"
Yunchae met my eyes.
"Everything is for Jisin-nim."
I decided further conversation with Yunchae on the subject was impossible. We dropped it, drank a little more, and eventually moved to the bed. Beneath me, moaning, Yunchae whispered into my ear.
"Even if there are many people around Jisin-nim… please favor me the most."
Of course. In a way, the reason I had started this absurd enterprise at all was Yunchae. For me, there was no one else. Even if she was half mad, it did not matter. I still loved her.
From that day on, everything began to change little by little. Our original five held a meeting every evening, discussing the rise and fall of believers, the current balance of donations on hand, the budget, and our plans. Yongjin handled all the finances; whenever a little surplus appeared he invested it in financial products and steadily grew the money. Myeongsuk reported the Seongyodan's activities to me in detail, along with the number of new believers they had brought in. The number of signed members on the register now exceeded a thousand.
Regular gatherings were held twice a week — Sundays and Wednesdays. At those times I spoke to the full assembly of believers, and as always I never doubted the result. Miryeong organized small groups under the pretext of doctrine study; there she taught the ridiculous doctrines she herself had invented and held internal discussion sessions. The small groups ran independently of me, on whatever days and at whatever hours suited them.
Yongjin paid us regularly. The sums were not large, but he asked us to be patient for a while — there was still a great deal that needed reinvestment. I never even opened my bank account. Lately I had no need for money. Meals were cooked by the ajummas hired at Simanjeong, and if I needed anything I simply told Yunchae and she bought it for me. According to her, there was a separate operating fund set aside, and that was what she used.