Everything's a Mess
The name felt vaguely familiar. Lim Hana had to rummage through her mind to chase down that sense of déjà vu. That voice, that face, that name. The problem was, her brain’s search function ran slower than an 80-year-old computer. Endlessly sluggish search speed. Endlessly sluggish keyword input. Someone with an IQ of 90 would probably be quicker on the uptake.
“Hana…?”
Still, Lim Hana herself didn’t think it was slow. While her head had slowed down, her perception of time had sped up instead. To her, ten seconds passing felt like one. It was an extreme time distortion, and in every way, completely useless. Kang Sian could accelerate time at will when it came to himself, but this was nothing more than functional degradation. It was a sight that showed just how terrifying drugs could be.
In the end, Kim Yujae had no choice but to stand there and wait endlessly. Though Hana’s reaction remained consistently icy.
“…Hana, maybe you don’t remember me?”
“……”
“It’s me, your boyfriend, Yujae.”
“……”
“Wait, no. Since I’ve become a woman now…”
“……”
“Hana. As you probably know, I was originally a man. But then that bastard got me and—”
“I know.”
Kim Yujae stared straight into Lim Hana’s eyes. The moment she finally remembered, her face lit up with joy. Like a neutered cat rubbing affectionately against its owner. But Lim Hana’s expression was far too dark. It was aggressive, cold, and painfully clear. She stared so icily that Kim Yujae’s entire figure was reflected perfectly in her pupils.
Brown-dyed bob cut. Eyes tinged with green. A cute face that had lost all trace of handsomeness. A height that had shrunk pathetically. Arms so thin it was doubtful they could even slice tofu. A chest that had grown uselessly large. The sight of someone who had chosen revenge over dying with a curse was utterly miserable.
Lim Hana slowly closed her eyes, then let out a long breath.
“Yujae.”
“Yeah? Y-yeah!”
“Remember when we went to the beach together during elementary school, from the cram school?”
“Yes! Yes! I remember! I remember everything from start to finish!”
She nodded her head vigorously. If someone who didn’t know them saw this, they would probably think Lim Hana was ordering Kim Yujae around.
“Then tell me. Do you remember what you gave me as a gift back then?”
“Of course! It’s the thing that became the bridge connecting us!”
Kim Yujae hopped up and down excitedly. As if she was thrilled just to touch her own memories. Lim Hana didn’t seem to mind either. No—she gently stroked the ear of Kim Yujae, who had now become a woman. She looked at her with sparkling eyes. Because she believed that Kim Yujae still cherished her, that even though she had become a woman, she wouldn’t be abandoned.
“The bridge that connected us… you remember it, huh?”
“Yeah! Why would I ever forget that! It’s the Gwangjeungcho we used to chew together all the time!”
That was when they had first encountered the Madness Herb. Through Kim Yujae’s kindness—or malice, it was hard to tell. It was after that they had become part of a drug-filled “friends” circle overflowing with camaraderie. Since betraying one person would doom them all, they had no choice but to stick together tightly.
Lim Hana smiled faintly. Then she slowly moved her hand downward. Ear, cheek, shoulder, neck. She caressed Kim Yujae’s thin and fragile neck. It was a sensation she had never felt before.
“Stop touching me so much. It tickles.”
“…Yujae, how does it feel to have become a woman?”
“Huh? What do you mean, how does it feel?”
“I’m asking how it feels to have become a woman like me.”
“W-well… it’s just… whatever…”
It was the best answer she could give. Because psychologically she felt rejection, and physically she was filled with alienation. As someone who had aimed to be a man only to suddenly become a woman, she couldn’t come up with anything better. No matter how many drugs she took, escaping the aftereffects of the transition would be impossible for a while.
“But why are you asking about that…”
“No reason. Just curious.”
She smiled sweetly. It looked pure, like a glimpse of a clear mind. It was exactly like looking at her from long ago, back in elementary school. Just as fresh memories of those truly good days, that beautiful time, were about to surface—
“My boyfriend, who practically forced drugs on me, has become my girlfriend. I was curious what kind of filthy thoughts were going through her head.”
“Huh? H-Hana?”
“Don’t you think so too? Right?!”
“Huh? Ack—?!”
The moment the strange thought occurred, strength flooded into the hand. Squeeze. The slender neck was crushed in a vise. Kim Yujae tried to push her away, but with her frail female body, resistance was impossible. All she could do was flail helplessly.
Lim Hana looked at her with eyes burning even more intensely.
“I’m going to kill you…!”
“A-ack!!”
“Back then! If you…! If you hadn’t fed me that stuff!!”
“Krrk! Grrk, grrrkkk! S-save—”
Her breath was completely cut off. At this rate, she would die. But escaping was impossible. It was an irresistible reality. Kim Yujae even shed tears as she begged for help. But the doctor and her family had already left long ago. In this room, there were only the two of them.
Slowly, her vision began to darken. Her eyes rolled back, and her struggling gradually stopped. The end seemed to be approaching. The end of everything, the end of life, the end of a vain dream.
But it wasn’t over yet.
“Gaaah… ugh?”
The hand that had been gripping her neck fell away. Air began flowing back into her lungs. Her vision, which had been on the verge of blackout, rapidly recovered. And there was Lim Hana, staring only at her own trembling hands.
“A-aaaaaah!!! No! No!!!”
She shoved Kim Yujae away. Suddenly standing up, she clutched her head and began screaming.
“W-what…”
It was a truly horrible sight. A woman who had been trying to kill someone suddenly going berserk—it was something you’d only see in a movie. It was terrifying and cursed.
Kim Yujae hurriedly retreated into the corner as if terrified.
“Kang Sian, no, I have to apologize to Sian!! No! Sian, please don’t—aaack!!! Sian please, get out!! It’s not my fault, no!!!”
Shattered memories, tangled senses, a wrong life. The things that had been suppressed by Gwangjeungcho began bursting out belatedly. Lim Hana started rolling on the floor as if she had lost her mind. The process of her brain trying to regain its functions was accompanied by extreme pain.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Sian, I’m sor—aaaack! Save me!!!”
It was so horrific it could leave trauma. Or perhaps it wouldn’t even end with trauma. A drug addict was dangerous, but a truly insane person was even more so.
Kim Yujae didn’t even notice that her pants were wet as she slowly crept sideways. Following her instincts to run away. With tears and snot mixing together on her face, she fled the hospital room. Fear permeated her entire body. In that state, she ran down the white hallway marked with arrows.
Finally, the moment a person who looked like a nurse appeared, she grabbed onto her.
“O-over there!”
She immediately began babbling and explaining what had happened. The nurse, sensing something was wrong, ran to the hospital room with a colleague.
“Huh?”
“Hmm?”
“Wait… huh? But just a moment ago…”
When they returned to the room, what they saw was Lim Hana sitting calmly on the bed.
“Uh, uh, uhhh…”
“Hmm? Yujae, what’s wrong?”
Even her attitude was far too casual. Kim Yujae couldn’t say a single word. Something felt wrong, but she couldn’t point it out. The situation made her feel like she was the only idiot, whispering that reality was being denied.
‘Did I… see something wrong…?’
That thought didn’t last long. Because the nurses who had looked at her pants dragged her away in the opposite direction.
“Come visit again sometime~”
Everything was a mess. Even herself.
Click. The TV turned off. With a thud, the remote was placed on the table. The large motion caused a splash, and a bit of bathwater spilled over the edge. Since it wasn’t in a bathroom, cleaning up would be a hassle, but the woman lying naked in the portable tub wasn’t the type to care about such things.
Whether the living room floor got ruined or not, she simply leaned back in the movable tub with her legs crossed. She deserved criticism for it, but even if a third party had been present, they would have stayed quiet. After all, only a very small number of people could look at her enchanting figure and say anything. And even if they suppressed their emotions and spoke, the moment they saw the sword placed in front of the tub, they would shut their mouths.
“Hmm~ Hmm hmm~”
Of course, there were exceptions. Her childhood friend would probably call her crazy and immediately drag her out of the tub. That was why he was a better friend. Being so unreserved meant they were that close. It really was a special case. To think that from a relationship where it had practically been his mission to crush this bitch, they had grown close enough for something like this to be expected.
A truly amazing thing. Its name was time. She had no intention of shattering this product of time. Something she had never obtained despite countless regressions was worthy of being treated as the greatest treasure in the world.
Beeeep—
She was a little drunk on that sweet reality when the phone rang, filling the living room. She picked up the smartphone from the table. When she checked the screen, it wasn’t an ordinary call.
[Unknown – Encryption Complete]
[Swipe to Answer]
It was a secure line used when there was something to hide. Exactly what she had been waiting for. She calmly swiped the button.
“Yeah, I watched the junkie video.”
“How should we proceed?”
“Leave her alone for now. She doesn’t seem like she’ll pose any real threat anyway.”
“Even if she’s not a threat, the other surveillance targets…”
“Let’s not overreact. Whether they cause a scene or not, they’re no match for us to begin with.”
Pathetically small vessels. A completely different type from her childhood friend.
“But…”
“And if we touch her now during this ambiguous time, it’ll only cause trouble for us. We can mess with her after enrollment, once we’re in Shareltea.”
“Ah…”
“Let’s make sure we don’t cause any accidents in the winter and get dragged around by the government.”
“Understood.”
After that, various illegal topics flowed from the phone—wiretapping and tailing status, industrial espionage, and so on. Cheon Mari gave additional orders casually, with utter shamelessness. Hand the industrial spy over to the secret department, send the hacker targeting the company to the Dragon Palace, try bribing high-ranking academy staff, and if that fails, approach their families, smuggle artifacts from China’s Three Kingdoms period. Because the content was sensitive, the call itself didn’t drag on too long.
“…This concludes the current report.”
“Alright. If there’s nothing else, you can go. I’m thinking of getting up soon too.”
After a simple goodbye, the call ended. Cheon Mari rose from the tub. Even as her naked form—enough to make a model bow her head—was revealed, she lightly crushed the smartphone. Then she tossed it into the foam-filled tub.
“Seriously, these junkies… I don’t know why they think that if they just quit the drugs, all the grudges will disappear.”
She clicked her tongue as if it were pointless. While washing up and getting dressed, she continued talking to herself.
“Just because a whore stops whoring doesn’t mean she stops being a rag.”
It was obvious who she was aiming at. And it was obvious who she was saying it to protect. It was right when she was thinking that way.
The sound of the door opening could be heard.