Mass-Producing Goblin Smoothies
"Back to the tower, pii...?"
"Uh, uh... good job."
I gazed at the lakeside, now a total bloodbath. Slimes frolicking energetically nearby, goblins dead and spilling blood from every orifice. And Whitey staring up at me with that pure, innocent expression.
Pii...?
"Nah, it's nothing."
Pii-!
Ugh, those eyes are hard to get used to. Every time I locked eyes with Whitey, that recent carnage overlapped with her pure gaze.
"...Anyway, you guys go play with them too."
Pii!Pii...!
The moment I said it, Blackie and Whitey bolted toward the slime horde. Such innocent little steps.
"Alright, first things first—there was definitely some message earlier."
I pulled up the message I hadn't checked because of Whitey. It should be around here somewhere...
You have defeated the first generated monster.
The Recipe Mass Production function is now unlocked in the Gate Management tab.
"Recipe? Mass production?"
I glanced around and found it. The content was more than enough to pique my interest.
"Hmm, yep—that flashy rainbow glow is still there."
The new Recipe Mass Production button at the bottom of the management screen. Those tacky particles really caught my eye.
If it really meant what I thought it did...
"Just selling these... heh heh."
I could make enough to scoff at Signiel. Hell, eating them alone would make me stronger exponentially.
"Signiel, bro's coming for you soon!"
Recipe Mass Production
Goblin Head Smoothie
"Guess I can only summon goblins so far? Only one recipe available."
Hitting the button brought up the list—just the Goblin Head Smoothie. Kinda disappointing, but hey, it's mass production. Should be enough to make bank.
Would you like to mass-produce Goblin Head Smoothie?
[Y] [N]
"Yes!"
I slammed the Y without hesitation.
Producing recipe...
And then.
Rumble rumble rumble—
"Wh-what? Why are you all coming this way?!"
The playing slimes balled up like boulders and rolled toward me. I tried to block them with my limbs in a PTSD-inducing panic, but they rolled right past.
"What the...?"
The slimes, who had me on edge, stopped in front of the lake. What the hell was going on?
That's when the slime mass twitched.
"Goblins...?"
From inside the balled-up slimes, the goblin corpses I'd killed earlier—smashed to bloody pulps—popped out. They started moving like they had a plan.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The slimes began enveloping the goblins.
"No, no, hold on! At least wash off the poison first, you idiots!"
We almost fucked up big time. They were clearly trying to make the smoothie. But goblins have poison, right? If I chugged one made like that...
"...Who put you up to this, you little shits?!"
Instant death, guaranteed.
"Wash it properly before cooking, damn it."
Thud?Splashhhh—
Like, who are you trying to kill? I roughly cleaned the goblin poison with my Cleansing skill infused with holy power. Once the purple residue around its mouth was gone, I felt safe and handed the corpse back to the slimes.
Thud. Thud.
"So how are you gonna make it? Gotta smash and blend just the heads, right?"
No blender in this gate—how would they manage a smoothie? Maybe they'd combine like transforming robots into a jelly mixer?
I watched the slimes with keen interest.
And then.
Thud! Thud!Rumble rumble—!
The slimes gathered around the goblin corpse.
Crunch—!Snap crackle—!
"Guys...?"
With creepy sounds of breaking and tearing, green liquid sprayed wildly from the clustered slimes.
Chills—
"They're really just... grinding it the primal way...?"
If this gate wasn't mine... that wouldn't be goblin guts spraying—it'd be mine. Goosebumps everywhere.
"Gotta treat 'em right..."
I rubbed down my chicken-skinned arms and watched the slimes. Things were progressing; the explosions and sprays were dying down.
And then.
Pii!Pii!
"Blackie? Where'd you get that jar?"
Pii?
Blackie emerged from the slimes holding a glass jar the size of its body—one I'd never seen before.
And then.
Glug glug glug.
The well-(?) ground green liquid started filling the jar.
Pii...!
This time, it was Whitey—not Blackie—bringing the finished smoothie to me.
Pii...?
"Uh, uh...! Thanks, yeah."
No matter how I looked at it, that grotesque visual didn't match Whitey's behavior. How could she pull off such a pure expression? If she at least had Blackie's mischievous, vicious smirk, it'd be easier to get used to... What a weird disconnect.
"Alright, let's dig in?"
Pii-!Pii...!Thud. Thud.
The slimes kept staring with those expectant eyes. I gave them a casual wave and turned to the smoothie.
'Fuck... why does it look even grosser?'
The smoothie in my view. Mine had only had white chunks, but this primal grind left goblin flesh bits intact.
Gulp—
Can't not eat it—they'd be 100% bummed. Those shiny, hopeful eyes said it all.
'...Fuck it!'
Gulp gulp—
"......"
What the hell did I just swallow? My brain couldn't process the liquid's flavor.
Was it bad?
"...It's fucking delicious?"
A hundred—no, thousands of times better than mine. Sweet? Yeah, but with a subtle nutty savoriness and saltiness. Stinky? If you can't handle this aroma, don't eat food at all.
That good.
"...Want more already?"
Pii-!Pii...!Thud! Thud!
They looked like they were waiting for praise.
"H-hey, wait, too heavy!"
They jumped in satisfaction at my reaction, piling on. Guess they loved that their owner enjoyed it. Breathing was tough buried under them, but... not a bad feeling.
A moment later.
"Okay, back off for now."
I finally calmed them down. Petting each one got them to give space. Such strong-willed little guys.
"Kyahaha—this is it!"
The message and the rush of catharsis hit me. Mind blown. A whole +2 to a stat. Mine only gave +1.
"Heh heh, come here—!"
Pii?!Pii...?
You adorable little shits. I grabbed Blackie and Whitey, planting 16 smooches per second.
Pii-!!!Pii, piiing...
Blackie got annoyed mid-way, flailing weak punches, but that feeble strength couldn't stop me.
"Whew—anyway, good work, troops. Go play!"
Rumble rumble—
My command sent them rolling back to the field in seconds. That movement style never gets old.
Pii-!Pii...!
"Whoa, stop—you two stay."
I halted the pair trying to follow. Whitey looked puzzled; Blackie annoyed.
Where do you think you're going? You're sticking with me to the end.
"You two are coming outside with me."
Pii?Pii-!Pii...!
Ecstatic at "outside." Thrilled to become labor's vanguard already. Perfect attitude.
"Let's head out then?"
Pii-!Pii...!
I scooped Blackie and Whitey under one arm, extended the other.
"Gate open."
Vrrr—
"Kuhhh—feels so damn cool."
The gate portal shimmered before my outstretched arm. Even I had to admit it looked badass.
Pii....
"What? That 'I still love you anyway' face?"
Pii...?
For a second, Whitey looked at me pitifully... but her eyes were pure as ever when we met gazes.
"...Did I imagine it?"
Anyway, I hugged the two and approached the gate to exit.
The moment I passed through.
The same recipe's effects apply a maximum of 10 times.
Afterward, stats will not increase.
What...?
What a shitty message popped up right then.
"...Fuck? Why tell me now?"
I clicked my tongue and stepped out of the gate.
*
Pii-!Pii!!
"...Took you long enough to spill."
Out of the gate, Blackie excitedly scoped the surroundings. But I had no time for that.
"Haa..."
10 times per recipe? Why reveal this limit so late? My hyped mood crashed hard against this passive-ass system window.
Pii...?
"Nothing. Let's hit the tower."
Whitey patted my sighing cheek comfortingly, clueless but sweet. It eased my mind a bit.
Whatever—mass production was for money anyway. Agility stats? Other recipes will cover it.
I shook off the disappointment, grabbed the two, and headed to the tower.
Pii-?Pii-!Pii...!
"You kids are thrilled."
Their eyes lit up at the tower's majesty. They nearly leaped from my arms in awe.
But could slimes enter the tower? The gate said it was mine, but... monsters are monsters.
I'd brought them anyway, but what if they couldn't? Worry crept in.
"If I suddenly vanish, don't go anywhere. Especially you, Blackie."
Piiiii-?Pii...!
Look at that sassy response. If we got separated, the chaos those transparent, madness-filled eyes promised... ugh, anxiety spiked.
"...Anyway, remember that. Heading in?"
I prayed they'd follow and entered the tower.
Pii-!Pii...!!!
Thank fuck. A brief floaty sensation, then the familiar white room filled my view.
And inside it.
Blackie was yanking Whitey's dumb fluff.