The Chest Conundrum
Seomun Cheong let out a deep sigh. “After going in circles, we’re back to talking about my chest again……”
Cheong stared quietly at Moyong Jun. Those pure, innocent eyes sparkled with anticipation.
“Hmm.” Cheong tilted her head at an angle. Is this kid doing this on purpose?
“But why does it have to be some random beggar’s chest? That sounds a bit off, Miss. I mean, wouldn’t it be better to ask your older sister or something?”
“Well, I do have an older sister……”
“Is she pretty? No, that’s not—then—”
“My sister is really pretty! Don’t you know her? She’s super famous. They say she’s the Golden Yang Sword Flower among the Five Flowers of Murim.”
“Then why don’t you go ask your sister? Hmm. Why am I even saying this? Anyway, you have your own family—wait, is that right? Or is that even weirder?”
Cheong rambled on before suddenly hitting a mental error. Wouldn’t it be even worse between siblings? Or is it better than asking a stranger?
While Cheong was lost in confusion, Moyong Jun started talking about his sister without being asked.
“My sister went to Hebei to meet a friend. She told me to wait here until she and her friend arrive, then we’ll all go to Kaifeng together.”
“Then ask your sister’s friend. No. That also feels weird. Everything about this is weird. You’re such a tiny brat and yet you’re so shameless.”
“Her friend is a man, so……”
“Wow, you really know how to dodge.” Cheong was genuinely impressed.
Whether she was or not, Moyong Jun kept spouting useless information.
“But my sister doesn’t have any chest at all. She’s even flatter than Uncle Yu who takes care of the garden……”
“Then what about Uncle Yu? If you close your eyes, wouldn’t it be about the same? It’s all just lumps of flesh anyway. Hmm. Either way, it might damage a person’s dignity a bit, but still. Hmm. I feel like I’m falling deeper into a labyrinth here.”
“But Uncle Yu’s chest is all muscle. Even in the middle of winter he goes around saying, ‘A real man doesn’t fear the cold!’”
Cheong scratched her head furiously. Ah, so Uncle Yu wasn’t some kind-hearted old man. He was from the Jegal Clan. Come to think of it, being overshadowed by someone’s pectoral muscles was a little pitiful for the nameless Golden Yang Sword Flower.
Of course, from Cheong’s personal experience, having a big chest brought no benefits whatsoever. Her shoulders always felt strained, sleeping was uncomfortable no matter the position because of the pressure, and when it got hot she’d sweat underneath and it was pure torture. There wasn’t a single advantage.
It was one of the discomforts that had disappeared after her Body Reconstruction, but even so, it was a serious issue for a martial artist. It created a blind spot in her lower field of vision, restricted the range of her arm swings, and as she had learned the hard way last time, it meant she could get hit by attacks she could have dodged, suffering unnecessary pain.
As a single martial artist, it created not one but a whopping three fatal weaknesses. Of course, the great and powerful Peak Transcendent Seomun Cheong was strong despite all that.
Still, she didn’t envy the Golden Yang Sword Flower.
But why didn’t she envy her? Because of her own proud chest—hmm……?
Why? Why doesn’t it feel like something to be proud of? What’s the point of me having a chest anyway…….
It felt like she shouldn’t think about this any further. Cheong quickly changed the subject.
“By the way, you don’t just listen through that secret passage, you actually peek too? How else would you know your sister has no chest?”
“No, we bathed together during the Mid-Autumn Festival.”
The Mid-Autumn Festival was roughly the time of Chuseok. Bathing together on Chuseok, though? Cheong let out a snort of laughter.
“Mid-Autumn Festival, huh. It’s not like you go to the bathhouse every holiday to scrub down. But Mid-Autumn? What about during the Spring Festival?”
The Spring Festival was roughly Lunar New Year.
“That’s not it. I asked why my sister, even though she’s a woman, has no chest and is flat like a man. She got really angry and after that she stopped bathing with me……”
“You really hammered a nail right into your sister’s chest.”
“So I can’t ask my sister. If I bring up anything about chests she’ll get super mad. I think it’s a bit too much. She doesn’t even have a chest and yet……”
The child puffed out his cheeks in dissatisfaction. The one who’s too much is you, not your sister. But since listening to this was entertaining, Cheong didn’t bother saying it out loud.
Hmm. At this point, Cheong made her judgment. This kid was just a curious, clever little brat who hadn’t yet learned to distinguish between things he should and shouldn’t say. Because he was so full of curiosity, he couldn’t help but wander around secret passages and eavesdrop on others. Because he had a good head, he simply remembered what he heard. Having a loose tongue was a characteristic of all small children anyway. Once they learned to talk, they’d spill every single thing that had happened in their lives until their throats went hoarse.
In the end, whether this way or that, Cheong was soft on children.
Still, this kid seemed genuinely kind…….
The fact that the young master of one of the Five Great Clans politely used honorifics when speaking to servants was proof of his pure character. Just look at Dang Nan-a. She called servants—and even random old men passing by—either “Hey” or “You there.” If she hadn’t been doing volunteer work as a female doctor, she would have become the world’s worst bitch.
“You shouldn’t say things like that so carelessly. Doesn’t it seem like it hurts your sister when you talk about it?”
“Uh…… yeah, that’s true.”
“How would you feel if someone went around telling people you wet the bed?”
“Ah!” The child’s eyes shook. At that, Cheong became certain. This brat definitely wet the bed.
“I wouldn’t like that……”
“Right. You understand now, don’t you?”
The child nodded. As expected, he really was a good kid…….
Just the fact that he could be reasoned with put him in the top tier of brats when it came to character.
Just as Cheong’s slouched posture was becoming comfortable again, Moyong Jun urged her.
“So when can I touch your chest? I’ll get in trouble if I stay out too long……”
“Wait, did you leave your chest with me? Is my chest some kind of laundry? You want to knead it? This kid is seriously dreaming of becoming a lecher. You’re going to grow up to be a huge pervert.”
“But you took my gold coin—ah, shoot! I think the adults are looking for me! The chest thing can wait until next time!”
Only then did Cheong realize she still hadn’t returned the gold coin, and that she hadn’t properly explained how groping a woman who wasn’t his lover was an incredibly heinous crime.
Moyong Jun stamped his small foot with a light thud, then gently rose into the air and split through the sky. It was an impressively masterful and refined lightness skill, completely unlike a child’s.
Watching the small figure rapidly disappear into the distance, Cheong shouted after him.
“Hey! Take your gold coin! Hey! You little lecher-in-training!”
And so, one shiny gold coin remained in Cheong’s hand. It was even brand new, untouched by human hands. Of course, whether dirty or clean, its value was the same. But it wasn’t something a beggar should be carrying around.
Besides, Cheong wasn’t exactly desperate for money. If she just went to a pawnshop and left behind her Wolgwang-geom (No. 9), it was obvious they would give her a whole pile of gold coins since it was such a famous blade. Pawnshops were places where you could retrieve your item later by paying a bit extra, so once she met her adoptive mother in Kaifeng, she could simply get it back with a receipt.
However, if a beggar went around buying food, she would stand out far more than a neat and tidy female martial artist. And there was a huge difference in mindset between not being able to eat because she had no money, and deliberately choosing not to eat expensive food even though she could afford as much as she wanted.
“I should probably return this……”
If she went to the dojo where the Moyong Clan was staying and said, “I am Seomun Cheong. I am the great elder of the Daoist faction, ahem,” she would probably be able to meet the little lecher-in-training.
But did she really have to? Why should she?
Since the kid was quite persistent, he would definitely come looking for her again. She could just return it then.
And while she was at it, she really needed to give him some proper sex education. If left like this, one of the Five Great Clans would produce a lecher who would drag the family name straight into the ground and turn the Five Great Clans into the Four Great Clans.
Cheong reflected on herself. Come to think of it, when her master had guided her, hadn’t he shed tears while personally applying that harmful substance called radiation to his fist? Thanks to that, his disciple had been reborn as such a proud and upright female hero of the orthodox faction. Ah, she missed her master.
A child’s education should rightfully be handled by their family. But that didn’t mean she could just watch and say, “He’s not my kid so it’s not my problem.” Guiding lost children was the duty of adults. Therefore, it was time for Cheong to fulfill that duty as well.
You little brat. Just wait until you come back.
Cheong began mentally arming herself with dictatorial resolve.
Today’s dinner was, after a long time, at Seoryang Restaurant. Seoryang Restaurant always served generous portions, so it was very good to a beggar. If you gave them ten coins and said “Give me a regular meal,” they would fill the plate with stir-fried dishes they had prepared in bulk that day.
In truth, business wasn’t exactly booming because the taste was somewhat lacking compared to other restaurants. Instead, they competed with quantity. It was that kind of mediocre establishment—not failing, but not thriving either.
The generosity with alcohol was especially good. Even if it was sour and spoiled, it could still be used in cooking in place of vinegar. The virtue of generously pouring out spoiled alcohol into bowls was something rarely seen in the marketplace.
However, there was one thing that worried her.
“The flower beggar is here again.”
“Flower beggar” was what the people at Seoryang Restaurant called Cheong. In truth, it wasn’t that Seoryang Restaurant was simply kind-hearted and therefore nice to her. It was because she ate the food so deliciously (the expression “devoured” was more accurate than “ate”) that quite a few customers came in after seeing her and became fascinated.
Thanks to that, they kept telling her to stay longer, and the portions they gave Cheong kept increasing. Cheong, unaware of the circumstances, simply thought that as a regular, their generosity toward her was gradually growing.
Other than the Beggar’s Sect’s Way, Cheong didn’t know much.
“It’s starting to get a bit warm these days.”
“Yes, the days are fully spring now. Shall I bring you the regular meal again today?”
“Yes, please.”
Miss, we really shouldn’t get too close.
But it wasn’t that Cheong was doing it on purpose. She was pretending to be a beggar to avoid forming connections in preparation for potential assassins, yet somehow she had ended up with another familiar face.
Maybe she should stop coming here…… Hmm. Having these kinds of worries made her feel a bit…… It made her seem like a really pathetic person.
For reference, in Cheong’s hometown there existed extremely introverted lone wolves who would quietly stop visiting a place once the staff started recognizing them. To Cheong, it was just a few greetings—what was the big deal about chatting with the staff? But everyone had their own hardships, and the size of those hardships differed from person to person.
When the waiter brought over the tray, it was piled high with a mixed barley-rice-bran steamed dish, various stir-fried vegetables, and a large bowl of alcohol—wait, they gave her two whole bowls. Cheong smiled.
She was in the middle of elegantly devouring the food while sipping her drinks when—
Crash! Clang! Rumble!
The inside of the restaurant grew noisy, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps approaching. Soon after, customers came rushing out. Some were deathly pale, while others had smiles on their faces. The former were simply startled people, while the latter were those already familiar with the common disturbances in Murim inns and were happy because it meant they could skip paying for their meal.
Inside the restaurant came the sharp sound of blades clashing.
Cheong frowned deeply. What kind of idiots were starting a knife fight in a cheap eatery that wasn’t even a proper inn, teahouse, or restaurant—where even if you ate your fill, you wouldn’t spend more than a few silver coins?
Since she was curious, she had to go watch right away. Cheong stealthily made her way inside the restaurant.
The stealth technique Black Shadow Stealth that Cheong had learned in the Demonic Cult was, after all, a red-grade skill. Even the waiter crouching behind the long table that was blocked off below eye level would find it difficult to notice her movements.
“What on earth is going on?”
“Whoa! You scared me! Ah, is that the flower beggar? Ahem. Why did you come in here? Don’t get yourself hurt for no reason and go wait outside.”
The waiter, whose speech only became formal when talking to Cheong, was so startled that his original way of speaking slipped out for a moment.
“They say the most fun thing to watch is a fight.”
“Fights are all different. What would we understand from watching a fight between high-level Murim experts? It’s only fun to watch brawls between street thugs with their shoulders puffed out.”
In other words, fights between trash were the fun ones. Cheong nodded in agreement.
“To me, thugs or those guys look pretty much the same. Hmm. So what’s going on?”