The Formless Poison of a Three-Inch Tongue
Cheong of the Tang Clan had judged their second victory, but that wasn't the truth. In fact, it was their third. The Do-eosa had presented the Tang Clan with a binary choice of death: starve or be branded traitors. What came back were food scraps ostentatiously hurled outside the gates and over the walls. Strangely enough, they always landed exactly where the soldiers or guards stood. The Tang Clan's official stance was always the same: "Oh? Why are you standing there?"
The Do-eosa, eyes bloodshot with rage, turned Chengdu upside down searching for the Tang Clan's secret supply routes. But that was never going to be easy. Chengdu was an ancient capital that had flourished for over two thousand years even by Central Plains standards, a land that had once housed dynasties. In other words, the passages dug by their ancestors were already countless, and the Tang Clan had spent centuries improving upon them. It was a sanctuary no shallow wisdom of a mere fifty-year-old could breach.
Thus, the six Embroidered Uniform Guards and thirty soldiers who discovered three secret passages met their end as eternal wanderers who would never return. The discovered routes had been turned into fields of poison, so even their corpses couldn't be recovered. The Tang Clan's official position was, once again: "Oh dear, we just collected the poison the cat sprayed and threw it away. Why are you passing through the garbage dump?"
In the meantime, two more red dots had been added to the Tang Clan's map of Chengdu. They had discovered two more locations where the artillery had been deployed. The Tang Clan's fourth victory.
After repeated defeats, the Do-eosa realized he was no match for their shamelessness, rudeness, and local infrastructure. "Damn bastards," he ground out.
Any plan to plant false evidence under the guise of a search had been ruined by the rampage of the poison-immune, invincible cat. Starving them out had also failed. All that remained was the strategy of deliberate provocation. Just one strike. He only needed to be hit once. Even a light tap on the back of the hand would suffice. Then he could cry out that they had dared to harm the Emperor's army, declare them true traitors, fire the cannons, and turn the place into a wasteland.
The Do-eosa racked his brains, desperately trying to figure out how to enrage the Tang Clan's traitorous brats, how to make them truly lose their temper. In the end, he found the precise reverse scale that the Tang Clan could never endure and smiled in satisfaction.
And so dawned the fifth clash on the fifteenth day.
The Do-eosa strode boldly through the front gate of Tangga Tower, still shattered from the previous battle. He swept his gaze over the Tang elites blocking his path and quickly found their weakness. Anyone with eyes could have spotted it immediately. Standing there was a peerless beauty around whom the air seemed to brighten and flower petals to swirl in a dazzling illusion.
The Tang Clan's cherished jewel, the Understanding Poison Flower, Dang Nan-a. Raised with the family's boundless love and pride. Surely they couldn't endure even her being insulted. This was the reverse scale the Do-eosa had found.
"Do-eosa, I should mention in advance that last night a wretched stray cat rummaged through the storehouse—"
"That's enough. I already knew you lot were beasts who can't understand human speech."
"Then why not simply return without wasting your breath?"
The Do-eosa wore a vile smile. "I've come this time out of pity, to show you traitors a way to survive."
"A way to survive?"
"The imperial law is strict. The crime of treason warrants the extermination of nine generations. Thanks to that, every member of the Tang family from Sichuan will die without exception. But if even a drop of that blood remains, your line won't be completely extinguished, will it?"
Dang Tu-juk's expression darkened for a moment. What kind of nonsense had the man prepared that required such a long preamble? But at the Do-eosa's next words, the muscles of his face hardened like stone.
"I'll make a special exception for that pretty wench. Instead of executing her, I'll take her in as a slave. Even if she happens to bear a child, I won't bother to get rid of it. That way, even the filthy blood of traitors can be preserved, no?"
Dang Tu-juk's face twisted in fury. The Do-eosa's face, in contrast, lit up with delight. The thought of claiming the most beautiful woman in Sichuan sent a surge of excitement through him.
"No matter how filthy the traitor's blood, once this benevolent Do-eosa plants his seed, it will be half loyal subject and half traitor. That should be enough to serve as slaves for generations, wouldn't you say?"
"Watch your tongue."
"Watch my tongue? Are you now threatening an official who carries out His Majesty's will? Isn't that exactly the behavior of a traitor?"
"...Your words are so vulgar that I merely suggest you shut your mouth."
Dang Tu-juk retreated weakly. "You there, girl. Don't just stand there like a mute. Show us your body. We should at least confirm whether you're still a virgin. Though with a face like that, I doubt any man would have left you alone. Your filthy blood probably rolls around like a whore every day."
Dang Nan-a's face went deathly pale.
"Why, feeling wronged? If not, lie down and spread your legs right now. Whether your chastity is intact or not is something a person can see with their own eyes."
Dang Nan-a, who had studied medicine and become a master of toxicology at a young age, knew better than anyone that this was pure tyranny. She understood that in this situation, all she could do was endure the torrent of insults. Her eyes grew moist and her hands trembled slightly.
Then, suddenly, a weight descended over her head. A translucent membrane draped down, creating a single layer of barrier between her and the world.
"Do-eosa? Elder?"
The Do-eosa's eyes widened. The veiled woman who had previously spoken of food scraps had handed her covering to someone else, revealing yet another peerless beauty beneath.
Cheong stood demurely and raised her voice. "Since ancient times, it has been said that children are mirrors of their parents. A person's words and actions ultimately stem from their parents' conduct."
"Is that so?"
Of course, no such saying existed in the Central Plains. But the meaning was immediately clear. The Central Plains had the saying "the wind and appearance of parents," meaning children resemble their parents. The Classic of the Mind also stated that planting cucumbers yields cucumbers, and planting beans yields beans. Furthermore, Lord Mengchang of Qi during the Warring States period had said that generals come from the houses of generals, and ministers from the houses of ministers. All of these expressed the universal human truth that children take after their parents, something every culture had recognized since antiquity.
"The words the Do-eosa speaks are so vulgar and despicable that only the lowest trash and mongrels of the world would utter them. But since the Do-eosa's own parents are precisely those trash and mongrels, he has merely inherited their speech and conduct. We shouldn't blame the Do-eosa for it, should we?"
"What—"
"It means that if you don't want to smear shit on your parents' faces, you should watch your mouth. Though we've already seen the level of your family education, so the smearing was done long ago."
In all the world, no one could match Cheong when it came to insulting parents. In the Central Plains, insulting someone's parents was equivalent to challenging them to a life-and-death duel. Having grown up in a society where even parental insults were casually exchanged by unfilial brats, Cheong's mastery in this field was unparalleled.
"You, you bitch...!"
"Always 'you bastard,' 'you bitch.' Is that how your parents taught you to address people?"
"You dog—"
"Do-eosa, please calm yourself."
At that moment, the Embroidered Uniform Guard's Vice Commander, standing nearby, gently patted the Do-eosa's shoulder and restrained him. The Do-eosa glared at Cheong while panting, then gradually regained his composure. Just then, Cheong felt a presence at her fingertips. Something familiar was placed in her palm—a small bottle of poison from the Poison Grandfather—before the presence quickly withdrew.
Only then did the Do-eosa speak again. "Your words are laughable. How dare a traitor claim to be human? My parents always said that traitors are like ungrateful beasts, so I'm merely following their teachings. Courtesy is only extended to humans."
Was that really the best he could manage? Cheong widened her eyes in exaggerated surprise and asked, "Oh? Pardon me, but may I ask which of the Do-eosa's parents is the beast?"
"What?"
"Well, earlier you were talking about planting your seed in our Nan-a. You said traitors are beasts, yet you want to mate with one. Doesn't that mean you inherited your taste for beasts from your parents as well?"
"You—"
"Ah!!! Looking at the Do-eosa!!! I can tell one of them was a pig! Did your father mate with a pig and give birth to the Do-eosa, or did your mother mate with a pig and give birth to the Do-eosa? Either way, you're a half-human, half-pig bastard!"
Cheong raised her voice, drowning out the Do-eosa and firing off her own words like rapid-fire arrows. With her voice already exceeding human volume, her clear and beautiful tone rang out sharply, carrying beyond the Tang Clan's front gate and walls.
"Shut—"
"Wow!!! Everyone in the neighborhood!!! You lackeys over there!!! You all heard that, right?! There's a monster here! Born from parents who mated with pigs!! Look at this Do-eosa!! How can such a thing exist in this world!!"
"You—"
"Wow!!! Then can we call the master bedroom a pigsty?! Come to think of it, whether the Do-eosa's mother is a pig or mated with one, she's still a sow obsessed with bestiality, right? Having a sow as a mother!!! How wonderful for you!!"
"You—"
"No!!! Are you ashamed of your mother now?! Why can't you say it proudly? The Do-eosa's mother mated with a pig!!! The Do-eosa's mother is a filthy sow!!! Aaaah!!! How can this be!!!"
The Grand Elder trembled. By tonight, the entire city of Chengdu would be abuzz with the shocking rumor—now treated as fact—about the Do-eosa's mother's infidelity. And that rumor would spread across all of Sichuan, and within a year, the entire world would accept it as truth.
The Do-eosa was the head of the Censorate, a high official of the second rank. The family that produced him was originally among the most prestigious of noble houses. But now their downfall was clear. They would face contempt from their own faction, their connections severed, and the imperial court wouldn't keep someone tainted by such a scandal in office, if only to save face.
"Heh. This old man researched the ultimate poison that would fill the rest of one's life with suffering greater than death itself..."
The ultimate poison the Grand Elder had dreamed of was being realized with nothing more than a three-inch tongue. How could he not tremble with emotion?
"It has no substance, cannot be blocked by any antidote, and requires no administration. Truly, that venomous tongue is the ultimate formless poison."
The Grand Elder muttered like a senile old man while pulling out all the poisons he had personally concocted and stuffing them into separate poison pouches. A gift bundle for Cheong.