I'm Refusing Pregnancy More Seriously Than I Thought
I never imagined I'd be this serious about it.
"You really can't come inside today...?"
Eun-ho pleaded again.
"No. I told you I don't want to have a kid."
I refused once more.
If anyone overheard, they'd probably think Eun-ho was the husband and I was the wife.
But Jung Eun-ho is my wife, and I, Kim Sung-won, am her husband.
Just look at my wife—completely naked, legs spread as I thrust deep inside her. That slender, elegant body of hers.
She doesn't have huge breasts or a massive, heart-shaped ass, but her figure is the very definition of graceful slenderness. Those sleek lines, that tiny waist that fits perfectly in my arms, and the way her pussy clenches so tightly around me—it's pure satisfaction every single time we have sex.
"Hngh...!"
"Ah, ahh...!"
I drove into her with all my strength, plunging deep to savor that final rush of pleasure before pulling out.
Splurt. Splurt. Splurt.
I shook off the desperate grip of her pussy, which seemed reluctant to let my cock go, and came all over her pale lower belly.
Eun-ho's slim waist formed a sexy little valley beneath her slightly raised pelvic bone, perfectly catching every drop of my semen.
Thick ropes of white cum splattered across the lush mound of her pussy, which grew as wild as her bold personality.
Right beneath that skin, her womb was probably aching for my sperm, but no matter how hard my little tadpoles swam, they would never reach it.
Because I never, ever creampie her.
"Come on... We've been married for three years now. We enjoyed the honeymoon phase plenty. We can have a baby."
Eun-ho scooped up some of the cum that had even landed on her cute belly button and stared at it with clear disappointment.
It was something she'd said a hundred times before.
"With our salaries? No way."
I gave the same counterargument I'd repeated just as often.
"Ugh..."
The way she bit her lower lip and made that angry little face was impossibly adorable.
It was one of Eun-ho's habits—after holding that pout for about ten seconds, she'd start biting her thumb like she was doing now.
Her small face perfectly matched her slender frame.
Her delicate, well-defined features were beautiful, yet each one carried its own sharp edge.
Especially her eyes. Those intense, deep green irises shone with a bright, unyielding intelligence that revealed the strong spirit inside her.
She was undeniably pretty, but nothing like the cookie-cutter plastic surgery beauties you saw by the thousands on Starstagram.
She had a distinct intellectual charm and an independent personality that didn't easily fawn over men.
Yet she wasn't cold or haughty either. That was part of her appeal.
She was never overly kind or excessively cruel to anyone.
Whether she was dealing with powerful elites, stunningly handsome celebrities, desperate homeless people, or part-time restaurant workers, her attitude remained exactly the same.
Beneath it all, I always believed there was a warm gaze directed at the world.
***
Eun-ho graduated from a prestigious university in Sinchon. She was incredibly smart.
Her writing was exceptional, and she had a deep interest in social issues, which was why she worked as a freelance broadcast writer.
She took on everything—from documentaries about the oppression of the socially vulnerable, cases of power abuse, to fierce explorations of where Korean society should head next.
Because of the nature of her work, or perhaps her inability to tolerate injustice, our dates often turned into ordeals.
I'd had to pull her away from fights with men smoking in public or being obnoxiously loud, nearly getting beaten up. Once, a drunk office worker sexually harassed a female part-timer at a restaurant, and we actually ended up at the police station. I had to pick her up in the middle of the night.
And yet, she was the kind of wonderful woman who would smile brightly and say it was fine when a child accidentally bumped into her or when a grandmother working at a restaurant spilled tteokbokki sauce on her new clothes.
If she'd taken a regular full-time job, she could have earned far more money and enjoyed stability. But Eun-ho wasn't particularly interested in money, and she hated feeling tied down to one place.
I worked as a cabin crew member for a small airline. After a long courtship, we naturally saw each other as marriage material and tied the knot three years ago.
We kept the bare minimum in savings, but spent a lot on the things we both loved—alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee.
Above all, we traveled constantly.
We thought the two of us were enough to be perfectly happy. And for a while, there really weren't any problems...
Then, on Eun-ho's thirtieth birthday—during our second year of marriage—she suddenly said she wanted to get pregnant.
"...That's ridiculous. How are we supposed to raise a child in Seoul on just our two salaries? Both our parents live out in the countryside. Who's going to watch the baby?"
I was vehemently against it.
Why should we pour an enormous amount of money into such an uncertain kind of happiness?
But Eun-ho wore the expression of someone who had made up her mind.
"...I want to have one. You only live once... I want to experience everything I possibly can."
"...Having a child means giving up a lot more things. You'll have to take time off work. What about our trips? We haven't even been to the Arctic yet, and you said you wanted to see Machu Picchu in Peru. We might never get to do any of that."
Eun-ho didn't back down an inch. She looked straight at me with those shining green eyes I'd fallen so hard for and said,
"It's okay if I can't do any of those things. More than all of that, I want a child."
And what about me?
I'd have to give up everything I wanted to do as well.
I coaxed and comforted that resentful look on her face dozens—no, hundreds—of times.
I tried to give her a life together that would be more enjoyable than getting pregnant...
***
"Then I'll get pregnant with another man...!"
Today, back in our third year of marriage.
I couldn't just let those words slide.
It seemed like she'd been steeling herself to finally convince me this time, but this crossed the line.
"Are you even hearing yourself? Are you saying you'd cheat on me?"
"Hmph. It's not an affair—it's a proper contract. If I apply to a sperm bank, I can pick out good genes from a decent man and get pregnant."
I must have looked like I'd been slapped across the back of the head, because Eun-ho snarled at me,
"It means I don't necessarily need you to get pregnant."
"You...!"
We'd just had satisfying morning sex, and I was about to leave for a long business trip.
Since I had to fly international routes, I'd be away from home for two whole weeks. If we fought now, it would take those entire two weeks just to make up.
That was why our rule had always been to never part ways without smiling before a trip...
But that day, I broke that rule.
"Ow!"
When I came to my senses, I realized I'd shoved my wife and knocked her onto the bed.
"...I'm sorry."
It was the first time I'd ever used physical force against her.
I hadn't meant to do it.
But...
"Eun-ho, you went too far too... How could you say something like that—about having another man's child?"
Eun-ho turned her head away, refusing to meet my eyes.
Her face looked utterly shocked.
I should have comforted her.
But I had to leave for work soon...
How long did that heavy silence stretch on?
Finally, Eun-ho spoke in a pained voice.
"...Sayuri got pregnant all by herself."
"What?"
"There are women who get pregnant and raise children on their own. It's not like we have to stay married to... have a baby..."
A little while later, I remembered seeing a YouTube video about a celebrity who had a child without getting married.
Drip. Drip.
Tears were beginning to fall from Eun-ho's eyes.
Just what...
What on earth made her want a child so badly...?
"I want to believe you didn't really mean that."
I should have wiped those tears away.
But it was time to leave for work.
"When I get back from the trip... we'll talk about it then."
It was truly time to go.
Eun-ho remained sitting on the bed like a broken doll, showing no sign of getting up.
I should have held her and soothed her heart...
"...I'm leaving."
Flight schedules were absolute.
Eun-ho never answered me, and in that moment, I lost forever the last chance I had to protect my wife.
My last chance.
***
Incheon Airport.
Even from early morning, passengers lined up in long queues at the security checkpoints, waiting to board direct flights to Paris.
Though I'd been doing this job for quite a while now, stepping into the airport in my crisp cabin crew uniform always helped settle my chaotic mind.
When people think of cabin crew, they usually picture elegant female stewardesses in stylish skirt uniforms, brightening the terminal like colorful bouquets.
But there are also male cabin crew members like me—fewer in number, but fulfilling our own important roles.
Do I get turned on when I see the stewardesses?
Well, there are certainly plenty of tall, beautiful women, and I can't say my eyes haven't wandered over all those gorgeous faces...
But as long as there are pilots striding by in their caps with shiny briefcases, it's hard to steal the women's attention away from them.
Besides, a workplace is still a workplace.
The bond I share with the women I work with feels more like deep camaraderie than romantic feelings.
Especially after long international flights where we see each other at our most exhausted and disheveled behind the glamorous facade, we tend to laugh it off with comments like, "Who dates their own family?"
Still, there are always exceptions...
"Um... excuse me, which way is the immigration counter?"
...After giving directions to a middle-aged man who was sweating nervously, I felt a strange sense of unease.
The direction he'd come from only led to a restricted hallway in the arrival area that was exclusively for crew members, and...
The man had been running so frantically that he hadn't even properly fastened his belt.
And then...
"Oh my... Senior Sung-won~? Looks like I've been caught, huh~?"
A stunning blonde stewardess was looking at me with a seductive smile, traces of cum she hadn't wiped off still glistening at the corner of her mouth.
"...Min Seo-hye."
The one and only exception in Korean airspace.