Chapter 156: Clown Union Club 3
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 156: Clown Union Club 3
“Oppa.”
I collapsed to my knees under the weight of Johanna’s powerful attack.
No matter how many times I hear it, I simply cannot resist. My body moved automatically, as if I had been struck by a Dragon’s Word.
Naturally, a man wearing a mask and an Academy uniform collapsing in the middle of the street while clutching his heart is bound to draw attention—especially when he’s accompanied by Johanna, the cutest and most beautiful girl in the world.
However, very few people actually stopped or panicked at the sight. Since Johanna and I came out on patrol at this time every day, the locals had grown used to the spectacle.
Thanks to that, I had even developed the ability to distinguish between residents and newcomers. The people currently stopping to stare or whispering at the sight of me were almost certainly visiting the area for the first time.
“Get up now.”
“Yes! Johanna Noona.”
“............”
The moment I called her Noona, Johanna’s face flushed a deep crimson, and she couldn’t look me in the eye. Well, it’s not like she could see my eyes through the mask anyway.
“...Let’s go to the next sector.”
“Understood, Noona!”
“............”
She was the one who asked me to call her Noona, yet she’s the one who gets too embarrassed to meet my gaze when I actually do it. She really is adorable!
I love it when Johanna calls me Oppa because it makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine, and I love calling her Noona because I get to see her get all flustered. Though, to be honest, I originally only started doing this to coax her into sparring when she had no will to fight.
‘Maybe making bets with wishes isn’t such a bad idea after all?’
If someone saw us right now, they might think we were out on a date instead of a patrol. However, while Johanna and I were enjoying our conversation, we never forgot to keep a sharp eye on our surroundings.
There were many nobles living in the capital, but it was actually quite rare to run into them. It was a bit of a shame.
‘I was looking forward to some noble picking a fight with us during patrol.’
What a waste.
On the rare occasions we did encounter nobles, they would automatically become polite the moment they saw Johanna beside me. It felt as though nobles, knowing the terror of their own kind better than anyone, treated Johanna with even more caution than the commoners did.
Of course, just because nobles were scarce didn't mean the streets weren't crowded.
There were merchants trying to sell for a bit more and customers trying to buy for a bit less. Bakers were preparing their morning batches. Drunks who had been out all night were sleeping in corners. Even adventurers were gearing up to take on requests from the guild.
Everyone was a diligent soul, working hard since the break of dawn.
“Pickpocket!”
Yes, even the pickpockets were working diligently this morning.
“..........”
Wait a minute. Why are you showing up here? You’re the one person who shouldn't be diligent, you little brat.
Step.
I immediately kicked off the ground and sprinted toward the thief, while Johanna ran to alert the guards. Even with the distance between us, I would catch up in no time at this speed.
‘A pickpocket in the Imperial Capital, and this early in the morning? You’ve got some guts.’
I was wondering if those guts would hold up once I handed him over to the guards when suddenly, the pickpocket’s body floated into the air.
What? Is he a mage?
“W-What is this?!”
Judging by his reaction, he wasn't a mage. Then again, if he could use magic, he wouldn't be a pickpocket.
As I approached the thief flailing in mid-air, I saw a familiar face.
“Oh! Hello there. I didn't expect to run into you in a place like this. It feels like it’s been forever. Has everything been alright?”
“I saw you yesterday. What do you mean 'forever'?”
“If you sweat the small details like that, there’ll be no end to it, Miss Clara.”
Black hair, red eyes, and a physique that commanded attention whether you wanted it to or not. A fellow member of the Special Class: Clara Adelian.
She was the one holding the pickpocket in place with her telekinetic power.
“W-What? Let me go this instant!” the pickpocket screamed, struggling in the air.
“Geez, I’m trying to have a reunion with Miss Clara, and you’re being so noisy.”
He looked quite tired, so I pulled a club out of my Pocket Dimension and gave the back of his head a gentle 'caress.' He fell asleep instantly.
‘Johanna should be arriving with the guards soon.’
With nothing left to do in the meantime, I offered Clara a grilled skewer.
“How about it? These are delicious. Would you like one?”
“No, I don’t need it.”
Clara lowered the pickpocket to the ground with her telekinesis and turned to leave. However, I crouched down and began drawing circles on the ground, muttering to myself loud enough for her to hear.
Normally, Clara—having already turned her back—wouldn't be able to see me drawing circles, but it was fine because I had used Shadow Step to get ahead of her before crouching down.
“Man, this is really delicious. I’m offering it as a special treat because Miss Clara caught a pickpocket, but she’s just leaving without a word. If the owner of the skewer shop found out, he’d be so heartbroken he’d close down. Then I wouldn't be able to eat these skewers anymore, and then I wouldn't have the strength to face Professor Elicia, and then the other Special Class students would—”
“Sigh... Fine, I get it. Just shut up and give it here.”
Clara spoke with a furrowed brow, looking like she had a massive headache.
“How is it? Delicious, right?”
“It’s alright.”
“Miss Clara, you shouldn't underestimate these skewers. A single skewer could make even the Academy’s Student Council President tremble.”
“.................”
As soon as Joden was mentioned, Clara left without another word.
Clara was innocent. If anyone was at fault, it was the incredibly frustrating men of the Adelian family.
Not long after Clara left, Johanna arrived with the guards. After handing over the pickpocket, we walked toward our final patrol route. As we neared the Academy, Johanna finally spoke up.
“...What kind of club are you going to start?”
“Hehehe, it’s supposed to be a secret, but I’ll tell you as a special favor. Don’t be too shocked when you hear it, okay?”
“Okay, I won’t be shocked.”
Wait, if you’re not shocked at all, that’s going to be a bit disappointing. I cleared my throat with a 'hem' and announced it with a mental 'Ta-da!' sound effect.
“The Clown Union Club!”
Upon hearing the name, Johanna tilted her head.
“Clown?”
“Clown!”
“Union?”
“Union!”
“Club?”
“Club!”
“The Clown Union Club?”
“The Clown Union Club!”
“...What’s the goal of that club?”
“Academy conquest?”
“...Stop joking around.”
“Hahahaha!”
I wasn't joking, though.
* * *
BAM! POW! CRASH!
Today, as usual, the sounds of a "delightful" lesson between professor and students echoed through the Special Class classroom.
While Sepia had become the strongest among the students after the battle with the Necromancer, the others hadn't been idling either.
The heir of the Isar tribe, Kuran Isar, threw a heavy punch toward Professor Elicia.
Thud.
However, Professor Elicia lightly caught Kuran’s attack, despite his fist being nearly twice the size of hers. In the beginning, Kuran would have been knocked unconscious right then and there, but this time was different.
As if he had predicted she would catch his fist, he used his massive frame to pivot and swung a kick with all his might. Though it wasn't a clean hit, Professor Elicia was pushed back slightly as she blocked the strike.
Ren, a dealer-type priest who fought by buffing himself, no longer relied on brute strength alone. He charged at Professor Elicia, weaving a variety of Holy Spells into his movements.
Frederick was also showing progress. Instead of placing curses on his entire body, he only applied them to the specific points where we were attacking, drastically increasing the duration and potency of the debuffs.
Gashurin attacked unpredictably, blending Eastern Swordsmanship with the Empire’s fundamental techniques. Lucas, Clara, and Sepia went without saying. The spirits, which had once been too terrified to attack after seeing a Dragon, now struck at Professor Elicia without hesitation.
Furthermore, there was Chirpy. While it couldn't be used often because its attacks tended to sweep away allies as well, it occasionally unleashed devastating strikes that kept the Professor on her toes.
“Today was a bit disappointing.”
Nevertheless, all the Special Class students ended up collapsed on the floor today as well, while Professor Elicia stood tall without a single scratch.
* * *
After Professor Elicia’s (life-threateningly) heart-pounding lesson ended and everyone was slumped in their seats, half-dazed and resting, I walked up to the podium.
As I slowly approached the front, the Special Class students looked at me one by one.
“Ahem! Everyone! The club experience period ends today, so shouldn't we decide on our actual clubs now?”
The students nodded, seemingly lacking even the strength to answer.
“But honestly, what is there for you all to learn in a regular club? No one can teach Miss Sepia Spirit Arts, no one can teach Miss Clara magic, and no one can guide Mr. Lucas’s strength...”
I went on a long rant that basically boiled down to: ‘You guys have nothing to learn from other clubs anyway, right?’
“Loki, what’s your point?”
“That is an excellent question, Mr. Lucas.”
Every student in the Special Class possessed immense talent, and there was no way the other clubs would let them slip away. Therefore, I had to win them over as quickly as possible.
“That’s why I! Thinking of you all and considering your needs, have created a club just for you!”
The students looked at me with expressions that said, 'You?' but I ignored them and continued.
“A name both meaningful and magnificent.”
I was certain that once they heard the name of the club I created, they would be struck by the sudden urge to join.
“The Clown Union Club! Everyone who wants to join, raise your hands high!”
I closed my eyes in anticipation.
‘Surely, a lot of them will join, right?’
If I had asked them right after entering the Academy, it might have been different, but I had grown quite close to the Special Class students by now. I exercised with Kuran, Ren, and occasionally Frederick. I learned about Eastern culture from Gashurin, and Lucas and I chatted often since we shared many classes.
I had also become quite close with Sepia while training together to catch the Necromancer. Even the prickly Clara would eventually strike up a conversation if I lingered around her for about thirty minutes.
I expected at least half of them to raise their hands. And then? I’d just have to win over the remaining half.
As I indulged in these happy thoughts, I opened my eyes and realized that my expectations had been mere delusions.
To my shock, not a single person had their hand up.
Why?