The Southern Border Diorama (1)
The next day, late in the afternoon.
For the past few days, an ominous rumor had been circulating through the Southern Border Immigration Office.
The rumor that the officers had become zombies.
"Grraaaah..."
"Geetoooout..."
And the rumor was accurate.
Four zombies were shambling aimlessly through the immigration office.
Every one of them with glazed eyes and drooping shoulders, officers slowly dying on their feet.
The Hearing Officer spoke to the traveler seated directly in front of her in a shriveled, rasping voice.
"Ent-reeeee per-miiiiit... approvedddd..."
At her post, there were already six empty liquor bottles lying on the floor.
She no longer even had the strength to go buy more.
Squelch.
Even the stamp that should have been brought down with force merely creaked, barely managing to leave behind a smear of ink.
It was already the third day.
Five officers barely keeping up with the flow of arrivals — that was the ordinary routine of the Southern Border.
But now, only four officers remained at the immigration office, pulling all-nighters and overtime for three days straight.
The cause was a royal command.
One of their number had been summoned to the Royal Castle by direct order of the Crown.
Even without a pilgrimage passing through, the immigration office's regular workload was heavy.
And now four people had been saddled with all of it, day and night, for three days.
The result: the once-vibrant officers had transformed into gaunt, haunted wraiths, as if possessed by ghosts.
The Touch Officer had even lost the luster of his tentacles, leaving little flakes falling off like dried fish every time he moved.
The werewolf zombie banged her head against the wall and muttered.
"When's that guy coming back...? Please tell me it's today."
She didn't name anyone in particular, but all five Senses Officers thought of the same person.
The nomad girl zombie answered.
"No word... He's probably already been executed..."
A certain black-eyed young man who had left in the company of the Queen's proxy.
With no word from the Royal Castle this whole time, it was easy enough to guess how things had turned out.
"Maybe I should just submit my resignation. Ah, wait — there's no one around with the authority to accept it..."
Right at that moment—
Creeeak.
The sound of a door opening cut through the silence.
The Taste Officer, face-down on her desk without lifting her head, spoke mechanically.
"This immigration office's chief is currently absent, so pl-ease state your business to the Smell Officer over thereee..."
"My, my. That is a predicament. The chief, absent?"
A familiar voice.
"Huh?"
The Taste Officer's head snapped up.
And without meaning to, she whispered.
"C-Chief?"
At her words, the other Senses Officers bristled — fur, ears, and tentacles all standing on end.
"What did you say?"
"What?"
"Am I hearing things?"
Every gaze turned toward the door.
Eyes went wide.
"I trust you've all been well."
A man in an immigration officer's uniform stood in the doorway.
His calm face, worn faintly with fatigue, curved into a small smile.
"I'm back."
The Central Officer had returned.
Having finished an ordeal that stretched across three full days, I had come back to the immigration office.
Riding in the carriage, I hadn't thought much of it — but the moment I returned and laid eyes on the nameplate reading Southern Border Immigration Office, a strange feeling washed over me.
So I simply smiled and offered a short greeting.
"I'm back."
The reaction was explosive.
"CHIEEEF! WAAAAAH!"
"You actually came back alive?"
"This isn't a dream, right? Hey, Taste Officer — check his eye color. Is it purple by any chance?"
"Th-then that means he was acquitted? He stood trial against royalty, and the verdict came back not guilty??"
The Taste Officer threw herself blindly at my legs, bawling her eyes out.
The Hearing Officer, slyly clearing away her liquor bottles, approached looking perfectly presentable.
The Smell Officer spouting nonsense when it wasn't even a full moon.
And even the Touch Officer, reverting from dried fish back into a tentacle-woman.
"Whoa, whoa. Everyone, please calm down. It's me."
I said, soothing them.
"Central Officer Nathan Kell. Your direct supervisor. I've returned with a declaration of nullity from my trial."
"A null-nullity?"
"It came down by royal decree. As far as anyone is concerned, it never happened."
There was nothing left for me to do at the Royal Castle.
The trial was over, and I had met with the Sight Officer — all that remained was to return to my own work.
No matter how many things had happened, my true calling was that of an immigration officer.
Screening travelers at the Southern Border and handling the administrative work that came with them.
That was my place.
And besides, this is where I feel most at ease, you know.
Seeing those familiar faces, my expression softened without my realizing it.
It felt like coming home.
Sensing that I was truly back, the Senses Officers let out sighs of relief.
"Phew. I really didn't want to go through selecting a brand-new Central Officer."
"Congratulations, sir. You've truly been through so much."
"Chieeeef!! Waaaah! I fought you were gonna die!!"
The Taste Officer was soaking my right pant leg with her tears.
But there was exactly one person who wasn't welcoming me back.
"Show me proof. I don't believe it."
The Smell Officer, to whom I had entrusted my duties, stared at me with eyes brimming with distrust.
"Prove that you're the Central Officer."
"Smell Officer, I'm telling you it's me."
"How do I know you're not that shapeshifter witch? Maybe I should hit you like I did back then and see?"
"Is this because I suspected you that one time?"
"...Anyway, I don't believe you."
Was this wolf bastard out of his mind?
Suspicion may be the proper posture of an immigration officer, but I'm your superior.
Yet even as I glared at him, his gaze didn't waver one bit.
Left with no choice, I spoke in a low voice.
"Keep it up if you'd like to pull night duty on the full moon. Miss that family gathering, and I'm sure the Great Mother would be so pleased."
I called on his werewolf instincts, while slyly invoking the highest-ranking member of his family.
The Smell Officer flinched, then immediately dropped flat to the floor.
"I believed, deep in my heart, that you were the Central Officer. Welcome back, lawful chief of the Southern Border."
"You've had three hard days, so I'll let it slide. Just this once."
I pulled him up by the arm.
He rose with an awkward grin, and I asked him.
"Nothing out of the ordinary here at the office?"
"Plenty, actually."
I didn't ask what.
Their wretched state made the current situation glaringly, painfully obvious.
So they really did get ground down by the work.
"...Any incidents or accidents?"
"Ah, none of those."
"Good. Then that's settled. And... I've brought a guest."
"A guest?"
The Senses Officers tilted their heads.
"Is someone here with you, sir?"
I turned my head toward the door and spoke.
"You may come in, Erzena."
"Yes. Coming."
A woman entered, shuffling awkwardly.
Erzena, with her golden eyes and sky-blue hair, stepped into view.
And at the same instant, a brilliant divine radiance flooded the immigration office with light.
"H-hello, everyone."
She waved — the woman who had once been our enemy, and was now our comrade.
At the sight of her, the Senses Officers exchanged bewildered looks.
"Saintess Erzena? Why is the Saintess here?"
"Ahaha... I'm not a Saintess anymore. Please, just call me Erzena."
"I'm sorry, what do you...?"
Their faces grew even more flustered.
They clearly couldn't make heads or tails of what was going on.
So I stepped in.
"Allow me to explain."
I gave a brief account of everything that had happened.
From how the Saintess had become my witness as we planned, all the way to Her Majesty the Queen's fury and the forced expulsion order against the pilgrimage.
The Senses Officers listened to all of it with their jaws hanging open.
"...And that's how it stands."
"Whoa."
"Good grief."
By the time I finally finished, the Touch Officer and the Hearing Officer crossed their arms with grave expressions.
"So... change is coming to the Royal Castle before long, too. If Her Majesty begins moving openly, then surely—"
"There'll be factions moving to harm the Saintess — no, Erzena — again, for certain. We need to factor that in."
"The pilgrimage will come back through soon, so we'll have to request the border guards' cooperation again."
Being the sharp pair they were, the two immediately put their heads together and started debating everything the immigration office would need to handle.
Meanwhile, the remaining two idiots—
"Oh my, oh my, Smell Officer. Look at this. He's advertising it, plain as day. A temporary asylum — anyone would think it's a midnight elopement of love."
"Temporary asylum, you say... Hey, check the applicant's name. Let's see whether it says Erzena Selaphe or Erzena Kell."
The two had latched onto something absurd and were whispering among themselves.
I ignored them cleanly and spoke.
"In any case, seeing as things have come to this, I'll be resuming my duties tomorrow."
"And today?"
"Today I'll be showing Erzena the safe house and giving her a tour of the residential quarters."
The immediate task at hand was finding Erzena a place to stay.
As I recalled, there was a single house designated as the safe house at the Southern Border.
This is my first time actually receiving a temporary asylum applicant, but at least I know the regulations.
If I protected her while things settled back into the daily routine, everything would be perfect.
But then the Taste Officer suddenly opened her mouth, hesitating.
"Um, about that... the safe house. They say it's under construction right now."
"I'm sorry, why?"
"Why now, of all times?"
When I asked, bewildered, she answered.
"You remember that building, Chief? The one the shapeshifter hid in at the very end."
"Yes, I remember."
The building where we'd carried out the full encirclement operation.
The three-story structure that had looked remarkably sturdy.
"The Smell Officer got worked up and smashed it to pieces. Left almost nothing but the frame."
"Right, I know. But why is that relev—"
Just then, an anxious thought flashed through my mind.
No way.
Nope.
Surely not.
This wasn't some cruel joke of fate.
I shook my head.
"Don't joke around. I'm exhausted."
But the Taste Officer nodded solemnly.
"That building was the safe house."
Son of a—
My face froze solid as I screamed internally.
What kind of jest of fate was this.
Erzena, catching the Taste Officer's meaning, asked in a wavering voice.
"Th-the safe house is under construction... Then what do we do?"
"Give me a moment to think."
I couldn't just hand a temporary asylum seeker an ordinary inn.
Housing someone under threat to their life in a building with no guarantees of safety was asking for trouble.
It needs at minimum defensive measures, an emergency hiding place, and good accessibility.
And it had to be somewhere the immigration office could respond to instantly.
Where in the world was such a place?
Too many conditions to satisfy at once.
I have to find one before nightfall.
I racked my brain.
Just then, the Touch Officer, who had been thinking it over carefully, raised his left tentacle high.
"How about your house, Chief?"
"WHAT!?"
"YES!?"
Erzena and I cried out at the same time.
No. What kind of insane suggestion was that?
"Your house is only five minutes from here, Chief. And it's two stories. So I figure it'd do just fine."
"I-I mean, yes, but why does it have to be my house?"
"It's a high official's residence, so it's already warded with protective magic. And you've said yourself you only ever sleep there — aren't your cupboards stocked to the rafters with provisions?"
The Touch Officer laid out his reasoning point by point.
"As I see it, your house meets the ideal conditions for a safe house."
Now that I thought about it, it did fit perfectly.
My house was a two-story residence assigned by the Royal Castle.
For the safety of the border's chief officer — me — multiple layers of protective magic had been laid over it.
And it was close enough to the office for, quite literally, an instant response.
"N-no, absolutely not! How could a woman live alone in the house of a man she barely knows!"
What would the world think?
Put a man and a woman under one roof, and rumors would spread even if nothing ever happened.
And when that happened, it wouldn't be me who suffered — it would be her.
Worse still, she'd been the Saintess. If word got out that a former Saintess was living in such an arrangement—
This wasn't happening.
This was a recipe for disaster.
"My house is out of the question. No matter what—"
Just then, Erzena spoke in a resolute voice.
"I'll take it."
"E-Erzena!?"
What was wrong with this woman now?
I turned my head in astonishment, and there she stood — divine power surging violently around her.
Golden mist pulsed like a pounding heartbeat.
"You said you'd assign me a residence, didn't you? And that you'd take responsibility for my safety."
"That's — the safe house is exactly for that. I literally need a house built for your safety, which is why—"
She cut me off, her face faintly flushed.
"Right now, being near you is the safest place in the world for me."
At those words, the Smell Officer and the Taste Officer, who had been listening in silence, began whispering.
"Oh my, oh my, Smell Officer. Did you hear that just now?"
"I did, Taste Officer. Straight out of the newlywed playbook. What's your read on this, Hearing Officer?"
"Ahh. A bold opening move from Erzena. We call that technique a 'fastball straight down the middle.' Simple, but devastatingly effective."
Even the Hearing Officer, infected by impure thinking at some point, had started spouting nonsense.
"You three over there, shut your mouths!"
What the hell were these lunatics talking about?
I hurriedly turned to Erzena.
"Erzena. I — I will arrange a separate place for you somehow. So please, refrain from such... dangerous statements."
I tried my best to hold her off, but her honest feelings, once decided, came straight through.
"Do you... dislike the thought of me staying with you?"
Golden eyes gazing up at me from just below.
At the sight, the Hearing Officer erupted in excitement.
"AH—! The trembling upward glance! Now that's not easy to withstand, is it!"
SLAM.
I shut the door right in the damned elf's face.
Any more of that, and I'd be the one losing my mind.
"..."
"..."
Silence fell once more.
At the edge of my vision, her divine power flickered softly.
She didn't look the least bit cowed — which meant she was serious. Utterly serious.
After a moment to steady my breathing, I asked quietly.
"...Will you truly be all right with this?"
"I'll be fine."
"I cannot stop the rumors."
"I'm used to rumors."
"It could become a weakness — leverage against you."
"Then you'll shield me from that too. Or I'll shield myself."
There was nowhere to run.
Every reason to refuse had been sealed off.
Every condition matched.
In the end, there was only one answer I could give.
"...I will escort you to my home, then."
"Yes. Please do."
Erzena beamed, radiant as the sun.
How on earth did it come to this?