My Fiancée Is Way Too Seductive
To cut straight to the conclusion, I didn’t touch her.
She’d said I could touch her for free, no strings attached, but you never really know what someone’s thinking. If I did it, there’d be evidence—fibers from her clothes, the shape of my hand on her chest, something. And if she used that to blackmail me into doing whatever she wanted, I’d have no way to fight back.
…That’s the excuse I kept repeating to myself, anyway.
The truth is, I was just too scared to do it. I didn’t have the courage for something that outrageous. Sure, every teenage guy’s dream is to touch a girl’s breasts at least once, and mine wasn’t any different. But when the opportunity is handed to you on a silver platter, most guys like me freeze up. We look simple on the outside, but we’re surprisingly delicate creatures.
—Okay. This next part is the most important.
The word “you” in this poem can be interpreted from both an expressive and a reflective perspective. Depending on which lens you use, the meaning changes completely….
“…….”
I rested my chin on my right hand and stared blankly out the window. From last night until now, one single thought refused to leave my head.
Ah. I should’ve just closed my eyes and gone for it…
It might have been a once-in-a-lifetime moment. The kind of golden opportunity people always talk about might have come knocking yesterday….
—You, in the very back seat by the window!
“……Haaam.”
Must be because I barely slept. My mind was wandering all over the place. I yawned long and loud, still propping up my chin. I’m always tired thanks to my job, but today I felt especially drained. Probably because I’d slept on the living room sofa instead of a proper bed.
The reason I gave up the bed for the sofa was simple: Hana was staying at my house.
—Back seat by the window. Can you not hear me?
There was only one bed. I couldn’t make a girl sleep on the sofa, and sharing the bed was obviously out of the question. So I had no choice but to give her the bed and take the sofa myself. She’d even said, “I don’t mind sharing the bed,” but there was no way I could do that. This is a Confucian country, after all. Men and women are supposed to keep a proper distance.
In my book, letting someone of the opposite sex you’re not dating sleep in the same bed is impossible.
Well. They said they’d bring another bed over sometime this weekend, so…
I just had to endure until then. I could sleep on the sofa again tonight or pull an all-nighter working on my new novel. I’d done it plenty of times before, so it wasn’t that big a deal.
—Hey, you idiot!
“Kang Ijun! She’s calling you…!”
“……Huh?”
“The literature teacher is calling your name!”
“Ah….”
I snapped out of it after hearing Jihun’s voice. When had she started calling me?
“Yes?”
—You weren’t paying attention at all, were you?
“No, I was listening….”
—Listening? While yawning like that? Go stand in the back. You’ll listen to class on your feet.
The literature teacher pointed toward the rear of the classroom. Damn, caught me. I nodded awkwardly and stood up. I’d been spacing out and ended up getting scolded. As I trudged to the back, I could feel my classmates glancing at me. Their eyes held a strangely friendly light. Last week when something similar happened, no one had even looked my way.
“……Ah. No way.”
Was it because of Hana? Maybe the rumor had spread that the reason I was always late, absent, or sleeping in class was because I’d been taking care of her. That excuse I’d given—was that why their attitudes had changed? No matter how I thought about it, that was the only possible reason.
The moment I rested my elbows on the standing desk, my eyes met someone who had glanced back from their seat. That someone was—
‘……Ijun!’
Hana was mouthing something at me. Her lips, tinted a soft reddish hue, formed the word “Jun.” It seemed to be the nickname she’d decided on for me without asking. I quickly checked the teacher’s expression, then mouthed back.
‘What.’
‘What are you doing after school today?’
‘Writing. I have a new novel to submit.’
‘Can’t you show me what you’re writing?’
‘No. I can’t.’
‘Tch…’
Hana cutely clicked her tongue. She looked sulky at my firm refusal. But no matter how much she pouted, what couldn’t be done couldn’t be done. I didn’t even show my unfinished drafts to my aunt, let alone my father. There was no way I’d show them to a girl I’d only met a few days ago. Unless she offered something of equal value, of course.
‘Then when do you start writing and when do you stop?’
‘Right after I get home until I go to bed.’
‘Can’t you spare a little time before you go home?’
‘For what?’
‘Go on a date with me.’
‘…….’
Did I see that right? I unconsciously frowned. Not because I disliked the idea, but because I needed to make sure I’d read her lips correctly. Suggesting a date out of nowhere was just too sudden.
“Um, teacher?”
At that moment, Hana suddenly raised her right hand.
“I’m feeling a bit sleepy too. May I come stand in the back for the rest of class?”
—Oh, sure. Go ahead.
“Ah. Yes, thank you…!”
Hana stood up smoothly. She must have been trained in proper etiquette— she pushed her chair in neatly, then walked gracefully to the back and stopped right beside me. The whole class was openly staring now.
“……Jun.”
She whispered right into my ear. It had been so long since anyone whispered to me that I flinched without meaning to.
“Can you talk from a little farther away…?”
“If I talk from farther away, other people will hear. You whisper too…!”
“……Wouldn’t it be better if we just didn’t talk at all?”
I tried to stop her with common sense. Hana ignored me completely.
“Jun. Don’t you want to go on a date with me?”
“……No, it’s not that I don’t want to.”
“Then why did you frown?”
She tilted her head cutely as she asked. Hearing that question, I finally understood why she had come to the back. She must have thought I frowned because I hated the idea. That wasn’t what I meant at all.
“I was wondering why you suddenly said something like that…?”
“Ah. You were curious about the reason?”
“Well, yeah. Of course I was.”
“It’s because I feel sorry for taking your bed last night. And I’m grateful too.”
Putting the apology before the gratitude like that could cause a weird misunderstanding. I thought about saying something, but decided it would only make the conversation longer, so I just nodded. Anyway, now I knew the reason. She wanted to apologize and show gratitude by going on a date.
“It’s fine. You don’t need to do all that just to say thanks.”
“Even if you’re okay with it, I’m not. I’m the type who has to repay every favor I receive.”
“Just saying thank you is enough. You really don’t need to—”
“Mmm. Come on, just go on a date with me. Okay?”
My heart gave a little flutter. It was the first time I’d ever seen a girl act this cute right in front of me, so I… My mouth was trying to curve into a smile on its own, so I covered the lower half of my face with my hand as I answered.
“……I already said it’s fine.”
“Just once. Just one time. One date is okay, right…?”
Hana linked her arm with my right one. Something heavy yet soft, full of presence, pressed against my forearm through the fabric of my school shirt.
“It’s my wish, Jun. Can’t you…?”
“…….”
Ah, right. If she was calling it a wish, what choice did I have? People grant the last wishes of the dead—how could I refuse a living person’s wish? I kept my hand over my mouth and answered quietly. If I moved it, I was sure a smile would break through.
“Fine. Let’s do it. A date.”
“Ah! Really? Yes!”
……Ah. But.
After answering, a wave of anxiety suddenly hit me. Even if it was a date, I had no idea where we should go. When a guy and a girl go on a date, the guy is supposed to take the lead. Unfortunately, I’d never been on a date with a girl my age. That was just how my personality was.
“Do you have somewhere in mind?”
“Yes. I already thought of a place.”
I’d asked just in case, but she answered immediately. Knowing she had a place picked out put me at ease first, then made me curious.
“Where?”
“A quiet, cozy place where the two of us can do something nice…!”
“…….”
Does that make me a pervert for imagining something weird?
* * *
“Yes, this is it!”
I lifted my gaze upward. High above the open atrium, a large Korean sign hung prominently.
[Kyobo Book Centre]
“…….”
…Yeah, I really was the pervert for imagining something weird. Who would’ve thought the date spot she had in mind was a bookstore just a short walk from school? Well, I guess bookstores are quiet and cozy. I still didn’t understand the “do something nice together” part, though….
“Jun. Have you been to this bookstore before?”
“……Huh?”
I answered late, still dazed. The gap between what I’d imagined and where we actually were was so huge that I’d frozen up. Hana studied me carefully.
“Your eyes look a little strange… Don’t tell me…”
Don’t tell me…?
“You’re not sleepy, are you?”
“……No.”
I thought she’d read my mind again…. I shook my head vigorously.
“Mmm. Right? You’re not sleepy, are you?”
“Yeah. I’m not, so don’t worry.”
“Hehe. Good. We have to do something nice from now on, so I was worried you might be tired.”
She stepped lightly ahead of me into the bookstore. I followed and asked casually,
“By the way, what exactly is this ‘something nice’?”
I’d gotten all worked up over nothing because of that phrase.
“Hmm…. Curious?”
“Of course I’m curious. What is it?”
“Come this way.”
Instead of answering, Hana grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I obediently followed where she led. The place she brought me to was the “This Year’s Bestsellers” section inside the store. A small banner hung beside it.
[7 Years Straight at #1! L.J. Author Exhibition!]
“…….”
It had been a long time since I’d seen my own books displayed in a store. Five or six years, maybe.
“Wow, they’re almost empty? Jun, L.J.’s books must be really popular. People have bought almost all of them.”
Hana pressed close to my side as she spoke. I had no idea what to say, so I just nodded.
“Uh…. Are you feeling okay?”
“……No, I’m fine.”
It wasn’t like I could feel bad about the fact that so many people had bought and loved my books.
“Then why do you look like that…?”
She asked very cautiously, probably wondering if she’d done something wrong. I could see a strange anxiety in the eyes looking up at me, so I opened my mouth.
“Ah, it’s nothing really…. Just.”
“Just…?”
“It reminded me of my mom. We used to come to bookstores together a lot. She liked seeing my books stacked on the display tables.”
“Ah. That’s what it was?”
“Yeah. That’s all.”
“Mmm. I see. So that’s what it was….”
Hana nodded as if she understood. I walked past her and picked up the very first book I’d published back when I was still in middle school. There wasn’t much to the story. It was about a child’s perspective on their parents’ love, and the honest weight those parents had placed on their words. That was it.
“You don’t go to bookstores with your mother anymore?”
“No. It’s been a while since I stopped going to bookstores at all.”
“Oh, why? Did you fight with her?”
“No, we didn’t fight.”
“Then maybe she’s really busy…”
“She passed away. About six years ago.”
“……Hic.”
Hana’s pupils began to tremble violently.