My Fiancée Is Incredibly, Incredibly Competent
“Make sure to clean up cups and bowls right after using them. About half the weird smells in a house come from dirty dishes left sitting around. It’s not even that much of a hassle since the dishwasher does all the work anyway, right?”
“…”
“You can’t just leave your clothes and socks rolled up like that when you take them off. Turning them inside out is fine, but if they stay balled up, they won’t wash properly. Always spread them out flat before doing laundry, and do it at least once a day. If you leave sweaty clothes lying around for more than two days, they start to stink.”
“…”
“Ventilation is a must at least once a day—open the windows first thing in the morning and close them before you leave for school. On weekends, open them before breakfast and close them after you’re done eating. For everyday trash like tissues, cotton swabs, and wrappers, just buy one big standard garbage bag and put it all in there. It looks terrible when it’s scattered all over the floor.”
“…”
“And when it comes to sorting recyclables, remember this rule if you’re not sure: Can an animal eat it or not? Things like bones, fish spines, or eggshells are too hard to eat, so they go in regular trash. Soft peels like tangerine or banana skins can be eaten, so those are food waste.”
“…”
“Oh, and this is the most important one. A lot of guys living alone tend to neglect their bedding, right? You have to wash it regularly because leaving it too long is bad for you. If you’re not sure whether it needs hand washing or if the machine is fine, you can always ask me—”
“…”
I watched her tackle one household chore after another in a half-dazed stupor. Her earlier declaration—“I’m going to show you just how capable your fiancée is”—hadn’t been an empty boast. Everywhere her hands touched, the space became spotless. The house that had looked like a total disaster zone was slowly transforming into an actual livable home, and to my eyes it felt like pure magic.
You know, like those cleaning spells you see in movies. Just say the incantation and everything sparkles.
“There. All done…!”
Hana dusted off her hands with a satisfied clap. I stood a half-step behind her, staring blankly at our living room—now transformed by her touch. Not a single speck of dust remained.
Whoa. This is actually real…
Was this even the same house I’d been living in? Had it always been this spacious? For years I’d only pretended to clean, so honestly it had been more like a pigsty. But after just a girl’s touch—and in only two hours—it was spotless.
“Jun. You remember everything I told you, right?”
“Huh? What?”
I snapped out of my daze and turned my head. Hana narrowed her eyes and looked up at me.
“Your reaction is weird… You didn’t forget, did you? I explained it all so carefully.”
“……”
“Ah. You’re avoiding my eyes…?!”
I scratched the back of my neck while deliberately looking away. Her housekeeping skills had been so dazzling that I’d been completely mesmerized and barely registered what she was saying.
“I worked so hard to explain all of that, and you don’t remember a single thing?”
“No, it’s not that I don’t remember anything… I remember one or two things. One or two.”
“Out of nearly twenty golden tips, you only remember one or two…?”
Wait, wasn’t she supposed to be Japanese? Why was her Korean so flawless? If you only listened to her speak, you’d swear she was a native. Yet she looked like some refined noble from Northern Europe.
…While I was busy with those pointless thoughts, Hana let out a deep sigh.
“Ugh… Fine. I didn’t really expect you to learn everything in one day anyway. Starting today, I’ll teach you one by one, right by your side.”
“……”
Her words finally snapped me back to reality. Oh. Right. Starting today, I’m living with her…?
It had sounded so unrealistic and sudden that I’d momentarily forgotten. I glanced at Hana and spoke up.
“Hey, I have a few questions.”
“……”
“Um… hello?”
“……”
Complete silence. Hana was blatantly ignoring me, pretending to be distracted. There was no way she hadn’t heard me from this distance. She was doing it on purpose—but why?
“……”
“……”
Ah. Maybe…
“Hana.”
“Yes? What is it, Jun?”
“……”
Exactly as I suspected. This girl was deliberately pretending not to hear because I hadn’t called her by name. I’d never called a girl my own age by just her first name before, so it felt incredibly awkward. Still, I tried to act natural as I continued.
“About our marriage… weren’t we calling it off?”
“Calling it off?”
“Yeah, you know. I told you yesterday. I was rejecting your proposal.”
“Oh, that? Mmm, yes. You did say that, didn’t you?”
“Right. So why are you suddenly here now—”
“That was that, and this is this?”
“……?”
“The fact that you, the author, rejected my proposal.”
Hana raised her left index finger. Then she lifted her right one as well.
“And the fact that I’m marrying you—the marriage partner my family arranged for me—are two completely different matters.”
“But how are those—”
“Jun. What did your father say?”
“Huh?”
“When he introduced me to you, what exactly did he say?”
“Just that there was a girl like this. That you were my fiancée. And that I should marry you later…”
I stopped mid-sentence. Come to think of it, my father had only told me to marry Hana. He had never said anything about writing a story for her family. Which meant…
“You weren’t testing me, were you?”
“Well… maybe I was. Or maybe I wasn’t…?”
“Tell me clearly. Were you testing me or not?”
“Hmm… I don’t want to tell you.”
“……What?”
“It wouldn’t be any fun if I told you everything at once. Besides.”
She winked at me cutely.
“If you have a lot of questions about me, you’ll end up paying more attention to me, right?”
“And what do you get out of having my attention?”
“If you pay attention, you’ll look at me. If you look at me, you’ll end up liking me, won’t you?”
“Not everyone you look at ends up liking you.”
“But if you don’t look at all, you won’t even have the chance to make them like you. It’s like how you can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.”
She had a point. Lottery winners are always among the people who actually bought tickets.
“I get what you’re saying. But people can still get married even if they don’t like each other, can’t they?”
“That’s true. But wouldn’t it be better to marry someone who actually likes you?”
“Well, that depends on the person…”
“I like you, Author-nim.”
“……That’s different.”
“So I’d like it if you liked me too, Author-nim.”
“I’m thinking about…”
“I’m going to make sure you do.”
“……”
…What was that? A confession?
I seriously pondered it for about five seconds before covering my mouth with my hand, trying to calm myself down. Easy there, me. After I’d slammed the brakes so hard yesterday, doing the same thing again would just make me an idiot. That wasn’t what she meant. This girl was saying she liked me as the author—L.J.—not as plain old Kang Ijun…
I hypnotized myself with that thought and opened my mouth.
“So… how exactly are you going to make me like you?”
It was half genuine curiosity and half ulterior motive, evenly mixed into the question.
“Hmm. With my charm?”
“You’re going to make me like you with your charm…?”
“Jun. You’ve never had a girlfriend before, right?”
“……”
My whole body went rigid. I swallowed dryly without realizing it. What was I supposed to say? It felt like I’d let my guard down and suddenly gotten punched right in the solar plexus…
“What are you talking about? Who said that?”
“Your father did.”
“No, my dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about. In reality, I—”
“He said your personality has been bad since you were little, so you didn’t have many girlfriends or even friends?”
Father. What exactly did you tell your future daughter-in-law…?
“Well, I guess it makes sense. You sleep the entire time you’re at school, so it would be weirder if you had lots of friends.”
“……How did you even know that?”
“I asked the friends I made today. They said you always come to school late, sometimes skip entirely, and even when you show up you just sleep. They didn’t say it out loud, but I think the kids see you as a total delinquent.”
Delinquent.
That single word stabbed into my brain. Come on, people can miss school sometimes. It’s not like I was skipping to play around—I was skipping for my actual job. I even had legitimate medical excuses from the hospital. Calling someone like me a delinquent? These kids must have grown up too sheltered to know what a real delinquent looks like.
I was about to open my mouth in indignation when—
“Ah, but don’t worry too much. I already made excuses for you. The kids all understood once I explained the situation.”
“……Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“What kind of excuse did you give them?”
“I told them it was because you were busy doing nice things with me.”
“……?!”
A scream almost escaped my wide-open mouth. I stared at her in utter shock, and Hana gave me a small, mischievous smile.
“Hehe. Just kidding. I told them you were taking care of me while I was sick.”
“Taking care…?”
“Yes. Nursing. I said I was often in the hospital because I was sick, and you kept skipping school to take care of me. How’s that for a story? Pretty good, right?”
“……Oh.”
Now that I understood, I let out a huge sigh of relief and rubbed my chest. Skipping school to take care of his sick girlfriend. Yeah, that actually sounded pretty believable to high school kids.
“So from now on, don’t be late to school. And don’t skip either. We’re at the same school now, so that excuse won’t work anymore.”
“Ah, well…”
“Of course, since I’ll be right next to you from now on, even if you wanted to, you wouldn’t be able to.”
“……”
“Anyway. Going back to what we were talking about. Since you’ve never had a girlfriend, wouldn’t you fall for me pretty quickly if I treat you just a little bit well?”
“……What exactly do you take me for?”
Sure, teenage boys might have simple thought processes, but I wasn’t that bad.
“Get ready, Jun. Once you fall for me, I’m going to make you do all sorts of things.”
“Like what, exactly?”
“Adding little details I want into your new novel, revising paragraphs the way I like… things like that?”
“Ha. Unbelievable.”
To think she could say something like “I’m going to seduce you and control you however I want” so boldly. I didn’t know where that confidence came from, but when someone declares to your face, “I’m going to turn you into my puppet,” you can’t just let it slide.
“Fine. Give it your best shot. But it won’t be easy.”
“Hmm~ I wonder about that…?”
“Yeah. I’m L.J. No matter what you say while standing next to me, there’s no way I’m going to change my story the way you want—”
“Jun.”
Hana looked up at me.
“Want to touch my chest?”
“Is this the part where you ask me to change the story in exchange for letting me touch them?”
“No. With no strings attached.”
“……Just… touch them?”
“Yes. Just that.”
“……”
“Do you want to?”
…And so began the greatest dilemma of my entire life.