What Is Las? (1)
The dungeon was filled with Andrases shouting "Las, Las."
Dungeon Entry Limit
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'How long is this "Las" nonsense going to keep coming up?' I was so sick of hearing it that I couldn't stand it anymore. As soon as I entered the dungeon, I carefully observed one of the Andrases that greeted me. The dungeon's layout seemed like a straight line, but it was subtly curving to the left. It looked like a miniature version of the dungeon I had cleared myself. 'If that's the case, there might be a shortcut to escape later.' To confirm that shortcut, I had to clear the sub-dungeon first. I clenched my fists and approached the Andras cautiously.
"Las-las."
The Andras scanned its surroundings with a vacant expression, then, upon seeing me, its eyes widened and it raised its hands high.
"LAS!!"
"Ah, so you can't talk?"
The way the Andras charged at me, even more like a ghoul than an actual ghoul, made it look like a monster that had lost its mind. Just like back when they were bashing their heads against the iron door until they died, there was a sense of madness in the Andras. "Well, I did beat the hell out of all of you, didn't I?" I shook out my hands and set my guard. The Andras lunged at me without a moment's hesitation.
"Kieeeek!!"
With bloodshot eyes, the Andras swung its claws at me. The claws, crossing in an X-shape from above, looked undeniably sharp. "Hup!" There was no need to take the hit. I stepped back quickly, easily dodging the Andras's claw attack. Seeing it up close, it was a male with its lower parts dangling. I immediately raised my fist and brought it down toward the Andras's head. "Shut your mouth!"
"Kiek!"
My fist slammed into the top of the Andras's head. The creature's eyes rolled back, its body shuddered, and it collapsed onto the floor with a thud. One down. A pair of tiny feathered wings on its back fluttered for a moment before stopping. Confirming the Andras was dead, I plucked a feather from its wing. It wasn't a large amount, but if I kept collecting them one by one, I'd have enough eventually.
"It's a relief I don't have to pluck wings after summoning Harpies. But are there no magic stones?" I examined the Andras's body here and there. I worried if I'd have to cut open its heart, but fortunately, that wasn't necessary. "Damn it." A magic stone was sparkling on the top of the Andras's head. The problem was that it was a fragment of a magic stone; it seemed I had split it in half with my punch. "What a waste. It looked like a Low Grade one, too." If I didn't have the baby Andras, I probably wouldn't even get the Lowest Grade ones. I pushed the Andras's corpse aside and moved forward again.
"Las-las."
This time, a female-type Andras was banging its head against the wall, its chest heaving. It had wings, but its behavior was clearly abnormal. "Las? Las-las!" The Andras charged at me. Just like the last one, it raised its hands high and sharpened its claws. I dodged the claw attack, grabbed the bird-brain by the side, and slammed it into the wall, making sure not to break the magic stone. *Crack!* With the sound of something breaking, the Andras's arm went limp. Fortunately, the magic stone was safe this time. I tucked the stone into my pocket and plucked the feathers again. "This is work, too, real work." It was annoying; I should just bring a subordinate later to do the labor. After stuffing the second Andras's feathers into my pocket, I stood the body up. "Hmm..." As expected, touching a woman's body was better than a man's. I lightly touched the Andras's chest with my finger.
'Level 20 is just right.' It was perfect for leveling up if I came to hunt Andrases at the right time after catching Big Slimes. I stood up and continued walking forward. "Las!" "Las-las!" "Shut up, Las!" I kept moving forward, crushing the heads of the Andrases blocking my path. They all showed the same pattern of abnormal behavior, then going berserk and charging at me when they saw me, allowing me to collect magic stones with ease. Unlike slimes, I could secure magic stones from Andrases 100% of the time. 'But there's no way there are 600 of these.'
Catching them one by one, I became certain. The dungeon's structure was clearly a scaled-down version of the original. And I was beating up the Andrases showing abnormal behavior all over that small dungeon. "Die-las!" One Andras died. It left me a single feather and collapsed, burying its magic stick into the floor. "Shut your mouth-las!" Another Andras died. She left me her level (24) and a feather, her neck twisted 180 degrees. "KISS!!!" Two Andrases died. I grabbed the back of the heads of both male-type Andrases simultaneously and slammed their faces together, forcing their beaks to meet. Both Andrases died on the spot. The next Andrases that appeared were the same, and I ran through the dungeon to get out of this hellish Las-land as quickly as possible.
"La-" "-s" "Uwaaaaah!!" *Thwack, thwack-thwack-thwack.* I ran forward, kicking the Andrases away. They were positioned at regular intervals, and it was only after catching about 20 of them that I reached the end of the dungeon.
"Las-las!" Five Andrases stood in my way, each striking a pose. These Andrases seemed relatively more sane than the others. "Las!" We couldn't talk, but our intentions were clear. I intended to rob them of their magic stones, and they intended to rob me, the intruder, of my life. Their murderous intent was obvious. Mine was, too.
"Where do you think you're pointing those disgusting things, you crazy bastards!!"
"Las-las-las!"
The Andrases were insane. They seemed obsessed with the idea of ramming their "second beaks" into the intruder. It was only natural that my murderous intent would skyrocket. "Las!" They scattered to the left and right. I felt an inexplicable chill from those trying to get behind me. These damn things were clearly trying to pull a flanking maneuver to pierce my rear dungeon! "You bird-brained bastards!! Just try it! I'll blow your heads off, magic stones and all!" I threatened them, throwing punches at the air.
The five Andrases exchanged glances, reading each other's eyes. And just as that dizzying chill shot up my spine—Kieeeek!! The Andrases charged at me simultaneously, arms raised high. Because they were running with their legs spread wide like frilled lizards, their "third legs" were dangling wildly left and right. "Damn it, seriously." Even if it were a female body, a naked bird-head creature approaching with those things swinging would be terrifying, but five male-type Andrases? It was a sight that went beyond fear into pure disgust. I decided to vent my unbearable rage on them.
Dangle, dangle. Seeing those five sticks swinging left and right, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes or look away. This rage rising from my soul was righteous, and no one could blame me. "You bastards!" I dodged the claw attack of the first Andras to charge, then drove my fist into its stomach. The Andras folded, and I grabbed it by the scruff of the neck and spun my body around. *Kieeeek!!* I kicked the Andras I was holding by the neck toward the stomach of another Andras charging at me with an even weirder sound. The Andras, with its beak sharpened and pointed, stabbed right into the other's "place."
"Taa-heuk." The Andras whose lower parts were stabbed by the beak foamed at the mouth and shuddered. The other Andrases stopped in their tracks, seemingly frightened, but my attack didn't end there. "Hraaaa!" I pulled the Andras out, grabbed its waist, and threw it at the others. The Andras ducked its beak, but in doing so, it slammed its head hard into another's solar plexus. "Keuheuk." The one hit in the solar plexus coughed up blood and collapsed. At the same time, with a *crunch* sound, the one I threw also flopped onto the floor. "Ah, damn, the magic stone." It seemed the magic stone had shattered from the impact. Now, only two Andrases remained.
"Kki, Kieeeek!!" "Las, Las!" The two Andrases charged at me from the front and back simultaneously. If they hadn't been standing so erect, I might have just beaten them up, but not only were they showing me their goods, they were trying to stab me with their erect members? That was unforgivable. I timed it in my head. The moment the two Andrases tried to stab me at the same time. 'Now!' I lunged forward slightly, and the two Andrases collided, their stomachs meeting. "Heok." "Aheuk."
The two Andrases stabbed their beaks into each other. Their upper beaks collided and slid to the sides, deeply piercing the areas around their mouths, while their lower beaks hit head-on and slid past each other. "Hiiik!" "Hieek?!" The two Andrases screamed and fainted. I ran over to the Andrases falling to one side and quickly plucked their magic stones. "Phew, phew." Only two left. As if they realized their fate upon seeing their comrades' deaths, they squeezed their eyes shut and— "Run for it-las!" They turned and fled in the opposite direction with ridiculous movements. I chased after them, stuffing the magic stones into my pocket. The Andrases were unexpectedly fast, and by the time I picked up my speed, they had long since disappeared around the corner. 'I'll crush them as soon as I turn.' No matter what was blocking the front, no matter what traps were there, the Andrases were going to die. I turned the corner with the intent to swing my fist.
"......Bird-brains are bird-brains, indeed."
The two Andrases were lying in front of the iron door. It seemed they had been running while looking only straight ahead and had slammed into the door, body and all. There's a legend that Solgeo's painting was so realistic that a sparrow thought it was real, flew at the wall, and died after hitting its head, but even so, dying without seeing this iron door in front of them was too much. "Even the magic stones are ruined. Damn it." I pushed the two Andrases aside. I had encountered exactly 25 Andrases so far. Although I only got 20 Low Grade magic stones because they kept breaking, all I needed to do now was see the true value of the sub-dungeon. The boss. Two Sub-Andrases. I didn't know their levels, but even the dungeon's owner wasn't level 70. Even if there were two of them, they wouldn't be that high.
*Creak.* I shoved open the tightly closed iron door. And right in front of me, there was a bed and two Sub-Andrases kissing while hugging each other. "......Well, this is at least better to look at." At the very least, the two Sub-Andrases were just humans with wings in appearance. Although traces of birds remained in parts of their bodies, they were clearly different from the regular Andrases, looking like humans. "And it's better that they're both female-types."
The Sub-Andrases were pressed against each other in the nude. Their faces looked like [REDACTED]. Wearing wings like capes, they scanned me from head to toe, then started to sneer and mock me. "What's with that belly fat? Does he think he can hide that with a robe?" "And what's with the tattoo? It's a total mess. Does he think that looks cool?" "Seriously, he's so unappealing. Right?" "Yeah, he's a total disaster. As expected, I'm the best."
The two Andrases ignored me and continued to kiss and bite each other. I wondered how to deal with those two cheeky Andrases, but I decided to find peace of mind. 'Think good thoughts, think good thoughts.' There was still plenty of time left to raise the dungeon's rank. It was time to focus on leveling up the other subordinates while running the sub-dungeon. I shouldn't fall for such cheap provocations. But curiosity is curiosity. For once, I asked the Andrases, who could actually talk, what I had really been wondering.
"Let me ask one thing. What is 'Las'? Is it just like your mother?"
"......Perverted pig."
"Look at that under the robe. He must be thinking of doing something to us. Disgusting!"
It was true that I was a pervert, and it was true that I was thinking of doing something, but I exercised patience and continued the conversation. "So, what is Las?"
"That is..."
"I'll tell you. There's no need to fall for a dirty pig's perverted tricks."
"But!"
"I'm already a tainted body. I can't taint myself!"
One Andras stood up with determined will. And then, she uttered something shocking to me.
"'Las' is, you know, slang. Slang."
"??"
"It means the act shared between people who love each other."
Shock. To think they were a race that shouted S♥X at the end of every sentence.