46
Chapter 46
What is love?
A slightly embarrassing question.
However, to Ciel, this was a very serious matter.
Because all of her actions stemmed from that love.
Ciel lay in bed, lost in thought. Normally, she would never agonize over something like this.
That was obvious.
Above all, she knew the proper and beautiful form of love.
Pure love.
The love her mother had given her.
A love that would sacrifice everything for the sake of the other,
A love that would willingly burn even oneself if it was for the other person.
She grew up receiving that kind of love.
Because of that, her own form of love couldn't help but be similar.
She offered half her soul to that ominous wolf.
To save the person she loved.
Even when that girl named Rien suddenly popped up,
Even when that Rubia, who didn't even revere the Leader, kept getting entangled with him,
And just now.
Even when that nameless slave girl enjoyed the privilege of being caressed and given a new name by the Leader.
She hadn't said a word.
She had never expressed any dissatisfaction.
Of course, because all of those things were good for Ian.
If she truly wanted the best for Ian, accepting it was the right thing to do. You shouldn't prioritize your own feelings over your beloved's.
'But.......'
Then why did these feelings arise?
Why did these negative emotions surface?
Every time something like that happened, why did something writhe inside her chest? Why did her heart pound so painfully?
She couldn't understand it.
'This is strange.'
She loved Ian.
She was certain of it. If so, she should be satisfied with whatever he did, as long as he was happy.
Yet, strange thoughts kept crossing her mind.
Even knowing she shouldn't, ugly emotions boiled within her.
[Hmm.......]
It was right around then, while she was having these thoughts, that she felt the wolf's presence for the first time in a while.
[As expected, blood will tell, I suppose.]
The wolf spoke with a meaningful smile.
"Shut up."
However, Ciel didn't even question those cryptic words.
Naturally.
She was thinking about Ian right now.
She was thinking about the person she loved. She had no time to waste listening to the voice of such an insignificant existence.
But.......
[If you're going to grumble about something like that, you shouldn't have made the contract in the first place, kid.]
The wolf smiled obnoxiously as he said that.
[Did you really think you could offer half your soul and pay no price at all?]
There was a reason why people hesitated to offer their souls to demons.
Half of the soul.
As long as that line wasn't crossed, the soul wouldn't be subjugated to the demon after death.
Side effects, such as temporarily having one's body stolen by a demon, wouldn't occur either.
However, despite that, making a contract with a demon was avoided above all else.
Offering half of one's soul meant that the demon's influence over one's mind increased by that much.
Especially if the demon's rank was high, the influence grew even stronger.
And then, the moment one started listening to the demon's whispers, it was over.
It wasn't for nothing that high-ranking demons often demanded half a soul as payment.
While making the human who signed the contract think it would be fine since their soul hadn't completely passed over yet,
It was simultaneously the ratio at which a demon could almost certainly bewitch a human.
That was the true meaning of offering half of one's soul.
[You should be thankful to me, kid.]
"......."
[The reason I don't bewitch you is because I know. I know that if that guy Ian is ever in danger, you'll offer me anything.]
"Shut up."
A chilling reply.
However, the wolf continued to chatter away.
He said that if the Leader destroyed that hateful Empire, he would actually be willing to lend a hand.
He even said that if he killed that damned Emperor, he would gladly return her soul.
He rambled on with such incomprehensible nonsense.
The wolf, who always laughed cheerfully, became incredibly fierce whenever he talked about the Emperor, making him even louder.
It happened right at that moment, while Ciel was covering her ears.
[If you ignore me so blatantly, even I get hurt, you know.]
Along with those words, Ian appeared right before Ciel's eyes.
No, that wasn't Ian.
That expression, that tone of voice, those gestures.
Ciel remembered all of it perfectly.
She could tell that it wasn't Ian, but another entity—the wolf taking on Ian's appearance.
That disgusting situation.
Ciel's face grew colder than ever before.
[Fascinating. You're half succubus, so I thought none of your racial instincts remained. But seeing how obsessed you are, it seems that's not the case.]
A half-breed between a demon and an elf. Muttering that such a one-of-a-kind existence in the world was indeed hard to read, the wolf smiled again in Ian's form.
"Who are you to take that form?"
Words filled with bloodlust.
But the wolf's reaction was calm.
[You really are obsessed with this man to a bizarre degree.]
Saying that, the wolf slowly approached Ciel.
[If that's the case, wouldn't it be fine to just make him yours?]
"......."
[If you love him that much, you should possess everything about him. With your power, it should be more than possible.]
"That is......."
The sight of that emotionless kid wavering.
A smile crept onto the wolf's lips.
Until now, he hadn't bothered to interfere.
Things were playing out amusingly enough that just watching kept him busy.
Besides, if he laid a hand on this kid, he would only incur the hostility of the Leader.
A guy whose true identity even he couldn't figure out.
He didn't want to turn someone like that into an enemy.
If possible, it would be much more beneficial to cooperate to achieve their respective goals.
But....
'Well, a little bit of amusement shouldn't hurt.'
It wasn't like he was doing anything particularly evil.
In the end, weren't humans originally just beasts anyway?
He would simply let them cast aside empty formalities and attain happiness by indulging their animalistic instincts.
In a way, that could even be considered a kind of gift.
Because of that, the wolf looked at Ciel with a faint smile.
That unstable state.
If he just gave her a little push, the kid's instincts would surely awaken.
What he needed to do was simple.
All he had to do was give her a gentle nudge from behind.
*****
Ciel walked down the hallway of the mansion.
It was the dead of night.
Moonlight streamed in through the window.
No one else was awake.
Only Ciel was quietly walking toward her destination.
Her head was dizzy.
She couldn't clearly remember what she had been doing just a moment ago.
She had simply opened her eyes to find herself wandering the hallway.
However, she instinctively knew what she had to do right now.
Ciel walked slowly. Her headache still hadn't subsided, but there was no way she would forget where her beloved was.
-Creak.
Ciel carefully opened the door.
She saw the man sleeping peacefully.
Ian was sleeping in a completely defenseless state.
As if possessed, Ciel climbed onto the bed.
'What am I doing?'
She couldn't understand it.
She couldn't make any sense of why she was doing this.
But she knew exactly what she wanted to do.
She wanted to possess him.
She didn't want to yield him to anyone.
His will didn't matter.
She didn't care what methods she had to use.
She just wanted everything about this person.
She wanted him to look at only her, and no one else.
Those emotions welled up inside her.
It happened right at that moment, just as Ciel was about to lay her hands on Ian, surrendering her body to her instincts.
Nothing particularly special happened.
Ian merely smiled softly in his sleep, perhaps feeling a tickle from her touch.
However, Ciel stared blankly at that sight.
'What if.......'
If she went a little further.
She would definitely be able to possess that man.
It wouldn't be a difficult task.
If the wolf's words were to be believed, Ian seemed to have the upper hand when it came to the rank of their souls. But in terms of sheer power, she was superior.
She could subdue him.
She could command him to do anything.
She could make him completely hers.
But if she did such a thing, would she still be able to see that smile?
If she forcefully ordered him to smile, he would naturally have to obey. The outcome would certainly be the same.
So this route was far more rational and convenient.
Possessing him was undoubtedly the better option.
But even so.......
'I don't want to.'
She hated it.
It felt terrible.
She didn't want that kind of thing.
She simply couldn't feel any value in something like that.
'I want you to look at me, but...'
Forcing it to happen would render it meaningless.
It only held meaning if he chose to look at her himself.
Therefore.
She couldn't do this.
"......."
Her dizzy mind returned to normal.
Her confused heart became completely clear once more.
She looked back at the man before her. She stared at him as he slept so peacefully, oblivious to everything.
"I finally get it. I know what these feelings I've been having are all about."
The strange thoughts that had crossed her mind lately.
She thought she was broken.
She assumed something had gone wrong with her mind.
However, the answer was incredibly simple.
So simple that it was almost laughable.
It seemed she was far greedier than she had realized.
Merely giving love, like her mother had done, wasn't enough to satisfy her.
So, it seemed that.......
"I think... I want to be loved by you."